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Click here"Suddenly the doors flew open. Someone threw filthy, stinking bags over my head and tied me to a bamboo pole. Slung like a pig going to market between two men, I was carried into the jungle at a brisk trot."
Sighing, Peter looked at Jennifer. "Do I go on?"
"You still haven't explained your back."
"Do you promise that my story goes no further than you?"
Jennifer nodded.
"I was taken prisoner at the age of six and, for the next six years, became a slave, whipping post and student. My masters flogged me until I learned to speak Mandarin, Cantonese and Hokkien, to read and write Mandarin, speak, read and write Malay, Thai and Tamil as well learning the art of disguise. They used me as a punching bag until I learned how to protect myself.
"Because my mother was also a prisoner, they knew that I'd keep my mouth shut and, with brown contact lenses to conceal my blue Christian eyes, I was their spy. I went into neighboring kampongs, Malay villages, to steal, to gather information or to pass on orders.
"To add to my misery the leader of the thugs shot my Mother. Not many months after her shooting I had a khukuri at my throat. A platoon of Ghurkhas that had been following the fleeing band had rescued me."
Sightless, Peter stared at Jennifer. Then, groaning, he returned to the present.
"I believe that's enough to answer your questions. I've said too much already." Peter dropped his head into his hands and Jennifer could see he was weeping - the memory of his mother and father and their deaths too vivid. Through his tears, he sobbed words she could scarcely hear.
"The full story is for my future wife when she first agrees to marry me."
Jennifer slid to the floor beside him and rocked him in her arms.
Peter lay there, wrapped in her comfort and warmth for what seemed ages.
Finally, he stood and helped her to her feet.
"Let's dress and go to eat. You can practice using your chopsticks again."
Jennifer remembered the Chinese restaurant very well and when the waiter approached, she grinned at Peter as she spoke. "Tell the Boss The Little One is here." Peter could only smile back at her.
The headwaiter had eyes only for her and smiled at Jennifer saying, "I see that you've tamed The Little One. Hold onto him... he's really special."
"I know," was Jennifer's reply.
He led them to a corner table where even the arrival of the meal didn't stop their holding hands. Again, they ate well and Jennifer was amazed at how easily she could accept Peter's Cantonese and how effortlessly she managed the chopsticks.
As they left Jennifer inquired, "Why was the Boss so interested in me?"
"He has never seen me with a woman before so he assumed..." Peter's voice trailed off as Jennifer hugged his arm tightly.
Back at Peter's apartment, Jennifer attempted to return to the prior discussion of Peter's life but he ignored her questions instead asking, "Would you please be my partner at a very special event next Saturday? You must trust me enough to ask no questions."
Jennifer hesitated for a long time, before whispering a shy, "Yes."
"Then the special event is - on Saturday morning at 9 am a limousine will pick you up at your apartment. The driver will take you to various places all day. You will do exactly as you're told - exactly."
Holding up one hand, Peter stopped Jennifer's questions
"You'll eat a light luncheon and I'll pick you up at say 7pm. You will be my Cinderella and I shall try very hard to be your Prince Charming although I do believe I make a better frog. Ask no questions now. Are you sure you still want me as your Prince Charming?"
"Where..."
"I said no questions - not one."
"Peter, you can be such a confusing bugger."
Ignoring her comment, he stood and seemed to fiddle at the back of the altar before saying, "Close your eyes, and open your hands."
Jennifer did as bid and allowed Peter to lift her to her feet and lead her into her bedroom.
"Open your eyes."
She gasped. In her hands were the two diamond earrings and the diamond necklace she had seen around his mother's neck.
"These are for my wife and I hope against hope that the lady of my life will be you. The gems are yours to wear on Saturday night. They are on loan to you, shall we say, and perhaps if I can win your love, they are yours and your daughter's forever."
Jennifer could only stare at the jewels in her hands. Slowly she turned away from Peter and still studying the jewels, quietly walked to the mirror.
"Can I put them on now so you can see them on me?" Without waiting for an answer, she pushed him out of the room before closing the door. Delighted, she made a careful selection of underwear and a dress with a moderately plunging neckline so the diamond necklace could glitter with joy, sitting in the shadow of her cleavage.
"Oh, hell, you're so beautiful, and I'm such a frog," were Peter's words when she left the bedroom, but Jennifer would have none of it.
She reached up and kissed him lightly on the lips.
"If that's the case, then you're my own special Frog."
- COMMENTS
onewaylostabout 5 years agoThe narrative bounces all over the place. The dialogue between the players is erratic as is the staging of the scenes. When he goes to the club and she is dancing with that man just what is the purpose of the whole scene. It made no sense whatsoever. Then his outrage and her lack of any input about it was just meaningless. Same thing at the beach and most of the other points of interaction.
This could be good if there was more attention to the dialogue between the cast of the story so that it would flow better. The interaction between characters just starts and stops with nothing getting accomplished. Go back and read what you write. Then think about how someone else will be able to understand what you are trying to convey to them. You may know just what you want to say but unless you put into the proper word we, your readers, will never know what you want to say to us. You have talent and imagination so just use some thought and fill in the blanks.
Anonymousabout 13 years agoThe scene in the bedroom with Peter´s mother does not make any sense at all to me as the reader. Did his mother have a lover?
Later on she and his father seem to be in love?
On the one hand your characters are just too perfect when it comes to education - he would have to have a very high IC indeed to speak and write all those languages - behaving in the way towards her just doesn´t indicate any psychological degree whatsoever- and she behaving even more strange.... hopefully they mature in the next chapters or I think I have given too much of my reading time to this story...
Anonymousover 16 years agowould still stick out like a big, purple sore thumb in Asia, from northern China (where there are taller people, with fair skin, although still Asiatic) to the tip of the Malay penninsula, where the gene stock is fairly dark, due to the Indo-Austronesian gene stock, including kinky hair, influenced by African-Indian... <p>
especially if you're a "spy"! LOL
Coolati_Georgeover 16 years agoI warned you that you were getting your readers upset. Your novel has more points in it than a spiny anteaters tail and I keep likening it to a 'who-dun-it' but I am still at a loss.
Your description of the wild black Irishman (Peter) so prone to explode yet so ready then to laugh and wonder what the hell all the fuss is about is so apt.
So you have knowledge of the Communist groups in the jungle and how their leader used Penang as R&R.
I would love to uncover you identity as each chapter reveals another facet of life which has forced Peter into the mould of irrational dealings with Jennifer.
Now what about the female lawyer what of her history?
Hmmmmmmmm.
At least you are making an enjoyable novel but you are forcing me to think and a lopt of readers do not want to think.
You haven't lost your Aussie idioms at all
Keep this going please.
1+1=2 2+1=3 Nothing disjointed in that. A natural sequence flowing from events
bruce22over 16 years agoI admit that Jennifer just does not feel right. After the apparent attack of rage the previous night and the declarations that he felt that she was dancing with and giving attention to everyone else, how can she fail to understand what is going on? Remember she is a lawyer and supposedly is so good that she heads up the legal department.
She has to be sharper than she shows in the story!
I admit that I enjoy and give high marks to the story but
I can not understand Jennifer... She sounds more like a high school student than a highly qualified professional. Personally if I were Peter I would have her replaced as head of the legal department and as my muse.
