All Comments on 'Without You I Have Nothing Ch. 16'

This is posted in the wrong category, it should be under Humor & Satire cause each episode makes me laugh. Have you tried reading Writing for Dummies? You really need to read it

Take it easy and do what other 60 + oxygen thiefs do, sit on the porch and leer at the young girls but PLEASE stop writing or is this one of those before and after ad campaigns - the before is the story up to now and then after taking vitamin X sudddenly your mind starts working again and you realize that writing is a skill you will never aquire?

The plot is bad, the characters are bad, the writing style is like something from the sixties. Did you write for Marvel before senility crept up on you ?

This is 10 times better than the Sonata my doctor prescribes, it is free and puts me to sleep much faster also not habit forming. Does the FDA know about this?

It's not as bad as Anony seems to think, but the pace continues to crawl like a snail. I still think you've got a pretty decent story somewhere in here, but I'm not sure we'll ever find it, as lost as it is. One MAJOR mistake: identical twins are always -- always - the same gender. Jennifer and Andrew are fraternal twins, not identical.

Were you one of those super babies that can run three minutes after birth? No? Well writing is the same as learning to run - first crawl then walk and then run. To foist this 16 chapter epic on an unsuspecting audience is just plain silly. Try writing some short one page stories first, that will also force you to stop waffling around and get to the point. You need lots of creative skills to do a multi chapter story and frankly yours is non-existent. Your storyline and plot is just plain confused. Better luck next time

And until you have written one, you have no idea how hard it is to have it come out right.

Why not avoid it and let those of us who will read it.

This is taking up valuable space on the server hard drives. Issue DEL command please

Saw the comments and decided to read it. Sorry your characters really sucks

As you have said, this is your first story. And no, we who have not written do not know the difficulties. HOWEVER, although this chapter is more believable and the description of the dogs must be from experiance, you still have a way to go. John B.

I really enjoy the story and the plot.the way you describe the land the emotions and the people are real. to me that makes a good story that is one chapter at a time. i hope that you continue to write and not listen to the people that say it's not good. it is.

I have to say this chapter was a big improvement from the previous chpts. You still have a way to go but this was the most normal (well, almost) in terms of stable emotions, flow of conversation, etc. I've also provided very constructive criticism on previous chpts, so wanted to be sure I balanced it with comments on improvement.