All Comments on 'Work The Problem Ch. 03'

Keep up the good work

You've developed a really good science fiction plot, spiced with nice characters, hot sex and really good writing!

Please continue!!!

I just can't wait for Chapters 4, 5, 6, ... !

You're building a Multiverse aren't you?

Two stories with alternate timeline hopping, and one with a super-computer telewarping through levels of space-time-whatever.

There's going to be a crossover to save existence, I bet.

I hate creepy evil robot aliens.

I'm so glad i found story.

I love how all the tough-as-nails military types have the mushy warm fuzzies for the cotton-tailed sexpot. (The happy-go-lucky big softie of a pit bull is a great cypher too.)

...that there was no mention of either Lord Frith or El-Ahrairah in the legends Holly recounted of her world's creation story.

Nah, just kidding. While it would have been an interesting homage, I like how you've done some world-building, and without an info-dump, too. The little glimpses you're giving us through narration and character interaction are tantalizing, and make for a more gripping tale, certainly much more so than if you'd just dumped all the details for us, as some writers often (mistakenly, in my opinion) do.

Why in the hell do they keep saying "timeline"?! Even immediately after talking about a machine designed to detect parallel *dimensions* (btw, parallel universes would make more sense. Dimensions...kinda works, but not really.) Seriously. A timeline is a totally different thing from a parallel universe or higher/lower/parallel dimension. I'm enjoying the heck out of the story so far, but every time I read "timeline" it's like nails on a chalkboard.

Also, I'm absolutely in fricking love with the adorable extra-dimensional bunny. Holly...*melts while seeking words*

Also: darn you for referencing her "little pink nose" ...so cute... Damn it, I'm not a frigging furry! ...shit...