by markphilip
A three way tryst between father, son and the hot secretary perhaps with the threat of divulging dad's little secret might add a lusty twist...
Give me more!
Ha Ha! If only I'd thought of that at the time!
You see, this tale is based very loosely on an actual event...something I've kept quiet about for all these years, until now...
I do have more to tell, but its more about my father's further indiscretions, rather than any 3-way with his Secretary (sadly! ;-))...
Thanks for the feedback...
"wrap around skirt's she liked to wear."
"the jacket's she wore."
The skirt's and jacket's WHATS? Please learn what an apostrophe is for and stop putting them at the end of plural words. It's "skirts", since it's not possessive. Sorry, but this drives me nuts (and not "nut's").
"peaking out from under the tight top." It's "peeking."
"My father was laid back in his big desk chair" - "My father was lying back..."
All the numbers - 20 years, 5ft10, etc - should be written out, i.e. "twenty years."
The description of Deborah's physical attributes is something that should be worked in as the story goes along, instead of making a list upfront.
Debora ☆☆☆☆☆+ (5+)
Scenario, set up etc ☆☆☆☆ (4)
Originality. ☆☆☆☆☆- (5-)
Writer's craft. ☆☆☆ (3)
Sex scenes. ☆☆ (2)
All in all i give this story a 4 [(☆☆☆☆) 3.8/5.0 = 76% = B]