All Comments on 'Working on It'

This was a good first story. I hope there's more to come of Melanie and Shelby.

Well done, though I hope you continue this story as it seems to have just begun! Thank you!

I loved the buildup and the character of Mel.

The sex scene was beautiful and arousing.

Just one remark. You were zigzagging between tenses at the beginning, between past and present. This didn't diminish from my enjoyment. But, since I assume (and hope) you have many more stories up your sleeve, this is something you might want to improve on the next one.

Thank you for your effort and talent.

I though the build up was good, and the part about her divorcing her husband was good as well, it took Mel by surprise and her telling Mel she was not the cause of it was good as well, yes keep this going it could be a good series

As well as being deliciously hot and arousing, it's a good, well-written story. It's not often that one can find both of those in a short story on LIT.

Please do continue to write, you're good at drawing out the emotions and sense.

This was a great story! Hope you write more! Thank you for sharing this with all of us!

Thank you for the kind comments and constructive remarks.

I am considering writing the story from Shelby's perspective as well. Or I may continue from Melanie's view. Open to suggestions.

I've never written anything like this before. Your encouragement means so much to me.

That you've made us wait this long for your writing! ;-D You did a wonderful job!!!!! Not only did you flesh out wonderful characters and write a compelling plot you also wrote a wonderful erotic scene. Whatever you choose to do to continue the story I am confident you will handle it as well as you did this one and we will all be better off for it!

I need a part 2 in my life! This is great!

You've done a wonderful job at creating the story, especially if this is your first one. I look forward to many more from you!

First time?!?!?! I dont believe it!!!! You've done an amazing job writing this im looking forward to many more from you!!!!

I loved being inside your head seeing the rich details.

Hiya,

Really nice story and you've created a well rounded character with Melanie and Shelby. I'd ditch words like labia minora though as it sounds too clinical, labia, vulva, lips etc sound more natural. Overall though it's a great first story so keep up the good work.

...until they get together at the end, when the dialogue suddenly becomes very unrealistic. Nobody talks like that.

Otherwise, a nice story.

I am a avid reader on here, and must say, you did a great job to captured so much in such a short time!

I really like the line "I was in love with her before I met her" melted me!

I think Shelbys side would be a great story! But I also think anything your going to write will be just as great!

Nice Job Reader!