All Comments on 'Years Apart'

She said she is 31 years old. If she and his mother went to college together, he shouldn't be old enough to drive yet. Please get an editor to help with this sort of thing, as well as a few spots of awkward wording. Good first try.

Very well done! Thank you!

If Melissa was only 31, it would be very unlikely for her to have met Allen's mother while in college. Some of the wording was awkward too. There was only one therapy session in the story. It was rushed.

Also, a mental healthcare professional dating a patient is always a bad idea. It could have cost Melissa her license. And so could violating doctors-patient privilege. She should not have introduced Allen and not her boyfriend and patient and the party.

Those problems really distracted from the story.

You really, really need an editor. Besides that, stick more closely to something you know. You missed the portrayal of a psychiatrist by a mile.

Dear Author, This being your first story, not bad newbie! Nice simple love story with an age twist. In the future, might I suggest you employ a proof reader. Otherwise, it was a five story and thank you for the ride along. jntiques

They could have met in college because I didn't go to college until I was 40!! Yes you need an editor, but you did an admirable job for your first time. Please keep writing!!!

I have a few online friends from all over the world. Your sentence structure and word use indicated the possibility of English as a 2nd language. Also in this country - USA- a doctor who "dates" a patient is against the law. However overseas laws maybe different. Good story!!!

I read I don't write. So from a humble readers view. What a fun lovely story.

The story is just fascinating. As an advice, change Melissa's occupation to make it more believable. I don't know, she could be a lawyer helping Allen to fight for his house against the bank, guided by his mother's spirit, winning the suit, keeping the house and falling in love through the process. Anyway, I loved the story!

I've read all the other comments and most of them are spot on. It was never said, but where did Allen get his money from, insurance maybe? At the first it sounded like he was destitute but then he has the money to take her out. Was the house paid off and how did Allen remain on his own when he hadn't even graduated from high school?

There seemed to be a connection between the two of them but it seemed like it might have been a little presumptuous to ask her to marry him when he did. Much better than I could have written, because I don't write stories, but there were a lot of unanswered questions.

LMAO, nope... She is a psychiatrist who meets someone and immediately decides that they will date. What a great "professional" she happens to be. Not going to continue with such an inane story.