All Comments on 'You Bet Your Wife Episode 01'

0

KEEP GOING CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE

We will all come over and fuck the slut, have plenty of beer.

it wasn't some stupid "poker game" or the usual "truth or dare." Rather convoluted but an interesting concept.

The concept was actually pretty erotic. The editing? Not so good. Please do not grab her waste!!! "You're" is the word when you are saying "you are". "Sweet" is something nice while "sweat" is persperation. The list goes on... but please never have a character grab a lady's waste!

Great concept, and you little reference to fantasy was both good and kind.

Great! Just wish you had drawn out the wife's torment/ecstacy at the end. The build-up was awesome, though, and great concept!

Great concept, too bad it had to end. I hope the series is a success... Thanks

You're concept was really way out on the edge. Loved every minute; the story kept my cock hard the whole read. Agree with one of the other comments. More insight in to Allison's torment/pleasure would have heightened the erotic nature of the tale.

Please keep this idea going. I'm looking forward to where you're creativity will take things.

loved the story, found it too herky jerky, pun intended ;), needs better flow, more detail, draw it out a bit more. You have created so much to work with that IMHO, some refinement would push this over the top and could very well become a killer series.

....completely, this is by no means a "new concept".

Where do I sign?

but poorly written, perhaps try getting an editor next time.

I would love to read how it ends.

Well written and very imaginative.

but very poorly written. You might want to learn some words, such as your vs you're, and their vs there vs they're. I noticed a few others, but I can' recall, and I'm not going to go back and read it again to find them. Also, it would be nice if you learned how to use apostrophes, such as "Michael's shirt" which is correct, and "girl's penetrated" which is wrong; that means "girl is penetrated". Personally, I don't care for the references to the women being "helpless victims" and that they "can't do anything to stop themselves from being violated", because that makes it rape.

I can't wait for another contestant but maybe you can write more about the sex at the end. You teased us during the all story but there isn't a lot of sex at the end.

That's it, just write more episodes!!! One where a husband gets them all wrong and one where he wins and gets to make a reluctant audience member join. And more!

I really liked this one. It was a lot of fun. That's why I give it 5 stars, despite a few quibbles I might have about your overuse of the passive voice and the word nervous to describe Michael's mental state. Also, I don't think Allison could have stayed conscious for very long suspended upside down by her ankles for very long. But I'll allow it using porn logic. You tell a good story combining the elements of hotwife and SM.

Mars doesn't have moons

But you should have an active proofreader, not just a spellchecker. For instance "to just the write point" should obviously be "to just the right point".

This is a well crafted story, slightly marred by a lot of spelling errors. Did you proof read it? I'm happy to do that for you for future stories?

Mars has 2 moons: Deimos and Phobos. Venus and Mercury are the only 2 planets in our solar system without at least 1 accompanying non-human-made satellite.

thank you

I wrote a game show story called incestuous. I never posted it but after reading yours I think I could now. you can go in any direction with your idea.

is your offer of ghost righting episodes of "you bet your wife" really an offer?

email me at l_benton75@yahoo.com if you are serious about accepting a ghost righter

l benton.

The wife couldn't wait for her husband to give the wrong answers so she cold enjoy all those cocks available. She didn't need to be strung up to be fucked but it was for the studio audiences pleasure. She told her husband to get his answers wrong because they needed the cash to buy the house.

...and just as good execution. I love such shows and this story was incredibly hot. I'm glad that you don't mind, if other writers "borrow" your idea, because I might do just that. ;-)

loved it ! great twists and turns. not usually into bondage type fun but this was good x

I enjoyed it but the ending is a bit abrupt which is a shame.

Bdsm isn’t LW.

The debasement of a young married couple and the desecration of their vows being served up as fodder for public titillation and amusement is a dystopian discrace. A society that sanctioned such "entertainment" would destroy it own foundations in short order. At that point, the plot would shift without much subtlety from dystopian to Darwinian.