All Comments on 'You Can’t Stop Me Ch. 08'

Interesting story to say the least. He loves her enough to forgive her for killing Steve, which makes me question just which one of them is crazier?

Thank you for sticking with this story to its conclusion and for noticing that love is a tough and transforming thing. I hope the twist wasn't disappointing.

before i rate and comment - thnaks for the good read so far.

Excellent story, but something about it really bothers me. Relationships are built on trust; when it is revealed that the girlfriend had indeed killed the protagonist's lifelong best friend (having stabbed him previously), that trust was forever violated. No matter what happens from here on, there will be a dark cloud ominously hanging over this relationship.

If you were to edit out Steve's misbehavior and his untimely fate, this story would be a five out of five.

when the whole story never gets told, TK U MLJ LV NV

Really they aren't the type of people that I would like to deal with on a regular basis.

Fine creativity on the part of the author, I hope.....

Interesting ending. Carmen was a very disturbed individual and I am not sure anyone sane would not have tried to get her help. But Rob's reaction was believable. He had been driven to edge himself at that point. In the end, she still seems to care more about him than others lives. What would she do if anything happened to him. Or her son? Or Lindsey or Ashe for that matter. Her ONLY reason for not killing is to make Rob happy. If Ashe was in danger, she could be forced to choose between hurting him by letting her be hurt or by killing someone else. Her only moral compass seems to point to Rob's happiness. Maybe even the son is just a way to achieve that.

I could see something happening to the happy family in the future.

And that detective was clueless.

i hope rob never gives her a Xmas gift of a chainsaw ( "but, rob, i so need it to cut up the limbs ... " ) : )

except his somewhat calm acceptance of his friend's murder and willingness to give Lindsay time of his day after her cheating. A normal man would have reacted bit more strongly in both the case......

What a ride. I'll remember this one for a long time - but I don't think I'll read it again.

That was scary. Would have been 100x better if she hadn't murdered steve.

Glad FS finished this one. Almost a Stephen Kng story. I agree that it almost wrecked the story that she killed Steve. I did like the ending, though. Wild ride.

Good story... but where's the body of her mother? She was 12.. I'm assuming that it can't be too far away, but burying her somewhere near the house would have been too obvious for even the most clueless detective. So perhaps she didn't drag her mothers body, maybe she chopped it up and stuffed it into the chimney?

Actually, I never got to cover that, but here it is now. There is a passage way from the basement to the old garage in the back of the house (really big backyard) that is basically used for storage in the time of the story. The Mother was wounded in the blow up during the robbery years ago. Carmen helped her Mother into the passage way then abandoned her to bleed to death. Also, Carmen's grandparents were Grifters and thieves. They used Carmen in their schemes, something she really didn't want to do, which was another betrayal.

Running around and playing in that old house was the only good time Carmen had in her life. She didn't know her Mother was casing the place for the robbery later. That's why she comes back. She finds Rob in 'her' room, so she becomes obsessed with Rob. When Rob shows up to save her from the rapist at his party, Rob becomes the only person in her life that cares for her - in her mind. Thus the story begins.

Lastly, the Detective wasn't clueless. He was sympathetic to Carmen's plight. Not only did this horrible thing happen to her in the house, she was sent to live with criminals (her grandparents) who were just as bad as her mother and there was nothing he could do about that back then. He may be behaving poorly as a police officer, but it is out of his desire to give Carmen the break he couldn't give her earlier.

It was a good story and I like your writing, but the end just threw it for me. Having a girl you barely know kill your best friend, probably grounds for a break up. Not a sigh, well shucks I guess that's okay. Otherwise a good story

there were too many mis-spelled words, grammatical errors, use of the wrong words in places, and some other errors. Fortunately, tho they caused me some breeches of concetration, they were not enough to make me stop reading. I finished it in one sitting (unusual for me) and enjoyed it very much.

I don't know how I felt about that story, but it was weird

That, had to be one of the strangest stories, I've ever read........I liked it!!

I often try to explore madness and its effects. They are not always clear cut and you are never sure which way love will turn out, or change you. Thank you for your kind comments.

I don't think a reasonable person would just let 6 murders go.

Just being around someone that has caused so many deaths would make the average person ask "am I next?".

That is by far the most insane story I have ever read. That said, it was interesting and riveting. My only complaint would be the quick jumps in time during what would seem to be active plot. Still a good one thank you.

Holy shit this story was insane, but I couldn't stop. The ending seems a little too neat though for such a messy story. Also, still left with some questions like the guy coming back all of a sudden and saying Carmen had to die with no explanation. All in all, one of the more memorable stories I've read here.

Having read all of James' writing published on Lit, the entire run of this story presents as an outline, not a complete work.

... I began writing this tale FOUR and a HALF years ago. I've made a great deal of progress as an author since then, both creatively and constructively. Thanks to a ton of feedback, I've learned to experiment more ~ thinks like when to, or not to, inject sex into a story.

Yes, 'You Can't Stop Me' reads pretty rough now when compared to what is on my computer screen. I'm still proud of it. I'd been writing for about two years by this time and had a few published works under my belt. This was a departure in that it was a totally independent work - not inspired by anything I read here.

After this work and 'Making Work A Better Place', I learned I could do what I truly enjoyed ~ romantic comedies with a biting edge.

Thank you all for your time and comments,

James aka FinalStand

With the story line. I couldn't stop.... great job!

It was a great story and I just couldn't stop reading it.

Dude, this so good in a crazy, weird and twisted way. You should consider editing and polishing this. Maybe publish it.

You know what they say.never stick your dick in crazy lol.

I wasn't sure where this story was going, but it was well written with good character development so I persisted. Glad that I did, really enjoyed it, 5 stars!

It was nice to read but I have read what you're capable of and, in my opinion, this is a story that could be fleshed out and redone to make it... flow better?

You can tell this is an elder version by the lack of dialogue and how you present the story but it is actually kinda awesome to see the transformation coming across from old to new.

JC

... thank you. Ugh ... currently I'm hammering away on Chapter 3 of Blades. I'm not sure I've show that to you yet. It is an older tale I've recently revived and I'm currently putting away roughly 2000 words a day on - so I'm kind of pumped right now.

As for redoing this story - absolutely. As you pointed out, I've grown a bit as a writer and some of my earlier mistakes are truly cringe-worthy. Things could have been fleshed out better, conversations done over to create a better flow and more descriptive scenes.

Thanks for the feedback and take care,

James aka FinalStand

It was interesting for a 'Fatal attraction' style story to develop into a love story with a relatively happy ending. I don't know if you meant to but the control over and repetitive nature of Carmen's night time visits are indicative of conditioning/grooming Rob. For a story with such dark undertones and unstated motivations, that I noticed that there was some psychological manipulation really added to the story for me.

I'll agree with JCC that you can notice it's not as 'mature' as your more recent work and there was some real strange and abrupt scene transitions throughout but the core of the story is a great one.

Blades?

Blades is a story I've been working on for three years and have recently made some progress on (4 chapters completed), but I'm unsure if it is ready for submission, or is the right fit for Literotica (being very light erotica). Recently I've made progress through chapters three and four with the help of a reader on this site, but at the moment I'm stuck on chapter 5 with no progress in sight.

The tale is an alternate history yarn set in a Byzantine Empire that never collapsed, never suffered through the 4th Crusade and recovered to much of their 11th century frontiers by the year 1650. The protagonist is a street rat duelist with a dangerous past. The Empire is about to be in another moment of crisis and our 'hero' is caught up right along with events. As the title suggests, there is plenty of combat settled with cold steel with plenty of intrigues to boot.

I hope this helps.

James aka FinalStand

This was very much an emotional rollercoaster for me. Your story was great, I knew when I started this was older so the little mistakes were easy to overlook. I can't really wrap my head around Rob staying with Carmen after learning the details of Steve's demise. I had been hoping for something to come together with Ashe. This did not diminish the story for me. Thank you James for letting us enjoy your work.

Like all your stories it's well written, but the suspension of belief is just too much. There's no way Rob ever makes it into a college or a doctorate/master's program being as dumb as he is.

Wow, among all your stories that I've read, this is the first you've finished. All in all amazing story.

Wow!!!! What a good story. I really enjoyed it.

Scores a well deserved 5/5

Please keep writing.

Ok. Just read the entire series. The story is disjointed. The writing and grammar are poor.

So now he's complicit to the actual murder of his best friend?

You know how to tell a story, gotta hand it to you. But Rob and Carmen have issues. They're murderers, for one.

Kind of kinky. Too kinky for the suspension of my disbelief.

Yet, 4* and the sloppy writing full of errors forgiven.

5/5

Original, crazy story

Many grammar errors and missing words, though