All Comments on 'You Got the Part!'

Part two is in the works I trust.

must take up acting lol

more please, great story already

This was a good premise, but lacked in execution. You are missing A LOT of commas, and have some weird sentences because of this. I also think you rushed the end. It was his/hers first time, majorly significant to the character, and probably the reason most people read a story like this, and you gave almost no detail. Get inside the head of your character, explain their actions, their reasons and what they feel, and use lots of descriptive language!

Thank you for the feedback Mr. O

all grammatical issues aside, this is a great beginning to the story of Riley,....please give this tale the attention it deserves, and write several more chapters...with more character details....a normally straight guy doesn't just give another guy a blow job without serious thought and desire!!

Yes. Wish I kept up my acting lessons. :-)

I'm sorry, but that story was just terribly written.

There were several apparent grammatical issues, run-on sentences, and poor overall flow.

The ending was also abrupt.