All Comments on 'Young Goodman Brown'

why exactly did you decide to end it with him getting plowed in the ass and then not getting any from his bestie after the orgy? the lesbian angle is a cop out. a lot of potential was wasted where you seemed to rush through to the end after he screwed his mother. the wrap up was weak on top of it.

I gave 4x star for writing style & original concept.

But here's the down side, It was bleak over all

with no balancing "White" Witch character to

save him.

He's surrounded by sociopaths and psychopaths

that kill. Including his mother that just had an

Oh well whatever blah... Attitude about her only

child's imminent murder...

The BF Tabitha love interest in your story,

doesn't love him or give a shit if he die's hes

just a pet to play with.

Now knowing what he does about the Evil Hell

hole he calls home and Morgan wanting him

dead.... his life expectancy is 364 days or flee

for his life and that's it period.

No one would stick around to die, No Hope end

of story! Unless there's a part two with Mother

& Tabitha suddenly growing a conscience.

You ruined the ending hard.

Not erotic and no Love here to be found only pain.....

I like the takeoff on Hawthorne. By the way, it's Goody Cloyse.

Story idea - not so bad.

Writing - so bad.. Far too many errors.

with Maternallyobsessed,

His Mother did love him and didn't want him to die. She did save him, maybe she will figure out a way to defeat Morgan in the next chapter. Tabitha was and is a total failure, although she does continue to be his best friend(without benefits).

The sex scenes were totally lacking in depth, even the one with his Mom.

As a male witch, I am am insulated and kinda pissed off at most of the content of this story. Not a good read.

This belongs in horror or sci-fi imo...

Loved your tongue in cheek humor.don't let the bad coments bother you. Write a sequel.

The most disgusting story I've ever skimmed. The girls and women were pure evil. 1 star and that was way more than it deserved.

I think it was a great fantasy specially fucking his mom and getting anal sex with his girlfriend.