All Comments on 'Young Lust Ch. 04'

The writer blew this one, badly.

So the major subject in your story, named Cleo just turns into being named Ashley at some point and neither you or your editors caught it prior to posting?

to much repeating over and over again

Who the hell is Ashley? This series just got totally fucked up. One star. Dump it.

Did Clea from the previous 3 chapters just suddenly become Ashley? Or if not then who the fuck is Ashley? I'm so confused. How the hell am I the first person to comment on this??

Not enough scorecards on the planet for how much you jump around without people knowing who you are 'in'...why bring up the weed, it served no point really, in the story...

I also never understand why every writer feels compelled to give the guy a wang two to five inches over the average...who is the audience for that? Obviously, some women, but some literally cannot even take that much...just don't mention it, nobody really cares...and it becomes distracting.

delete and stop writing if this is the way you write. you fucked it up with the lesbian shit and killed it here i wish there was a delete button because this needs to go NOW!

Thought you ruined it with this one. Why did the brother start talking like a retard and feel like sharing his sis with his friend when he hadn't actually fucked her pussy to begin with. And to bring the dad in... really?

So many things you could've done, a threesome with Anita, Dave and Leslie, new girls, a plot twist so this extends beyond the Summer, etc.