All Comments on 'Your Wife'

out there watching the wife have sex with another man... However I have never found one husband wanting to clean up...

As the reader I was you and as the storyteller, you were I. But to read it, you became I and I became you. See how stupid present tense and "you" is?

This should be in gay male, you are such a little punk.

Fetish gay # 1

Not a bad short story before you bombed it with the last sentence. No doubt you enjoyed dropping that little gem on your readers, but it is considered in poor taste to place stories in the wrong group.

The one who writes something, also reads it...When he/she reads it, the "you" becomes himself/herself...I think that's what happened here...The writer, while writing was looking to a mirror...1*

To write in Second Person, and YOU certainly won't be the last. There will always be knuckle draggers who think because they can find the keys on a laptop that they can write. YOU are one of many fools who desperately need an English Enema to clear the shit out of YOUR brain box. Do YOU understand what I'm saying here. grunt if you don't.

PS 1 star only because they won't allow negative scoring.

Because I can't give a -5. Should be in Gay fetish. Eat shit and die.

and he sucks cocks in an ally!!

5 stars, babeeeeee!

"...he hates everything" wrote the "person" who can't just post its own opinion, it has to attack the opinions of others, which is a far better example of hate.

5 stars ... :)

.....that the second person perspective just doesn't work.

And what's all this shit about what I did, and what you did, and what you did with my wife. I'm not even married!?!

Maybe you should tell this as if it happened between people we don't already know, you know, like introduce characters, tell us a little bit about them, explain why the husband is a dickless cuck, the wife is a faithless whore, and the guy invited in is an asshole living on borrowed time, until some cuck blows up in his face. Maybe that would be less confusing.

Or better yet, just write for people who are smarter than me. Yeah, on this website, crawling with little Albert Einsteins. They are the only ones smart and deep enough to appreciate this sort of writing. Just let me know how that works out for you.

Never mind; I wouldn't understand it. And I don't.

Hot? You have to be kidding me....what is there to call hot.... You do not even have your thoughts organized............

It's so good to watch wife getting royal fuck and then cleaning of cock and cunt comes naturally

Since it is your first I gave you a three. I've seen a lot worse first stories, so don't let the comments get you down. Some on this site can't seem to understand plain site descriptions nor can they resist banging their head into a brick wall. (I guess I fit that category, since I still try to convince them to judge by the writing quality, not whether they like the premise of the story. If they get a few paragraphs into a STORY AND SEE IT GOING A WAY THEY DON'T LIKE, the concept of going to another story seems to escape them.)

Now about help for your stories. #1 3rd or 1st person ONLY! Years from now you might pull off a 2nd person story. #2 Did the husband invite him to fuck his wife, or did he simply take a chance on getting killed by screwing her in the kitchen. #3 Why in the world would you think the husband would suck your cock unless you had previous experience with him. You made it sound like you just met in person. You really need to provide us with such info. As it is your characters are simply a bunch of cardboard people.

If you understand what I'm saying and want to discuss WRITING further contact me by the Bio page.

Hey man I don't know you or anything about you. I assume you are not actually trying to come to my house so you might wanna consider changing tense.

My wife has taken many my friends. She gets drunk and show her body and start sucking their dicks. I let her do this and she always put on a good show. Con. can suck as good as anyone. If they get lucky she will fuck them. I love her and let her have fun. You come to watch games and you may get lucky.

Good first try. The actual sex act was rather erotic; however, the story needed a better lead in to the sex. I didn't care for the ending but I'm sure a lot of other people did, so that's ok if it's works for you.

I've shared my wife with a lot of men over the years and we both love it, but I've never cleaned up afterwards. I leave that for my wife and she really enjoys it.

illiterate shit.

I don't get your premise of "writing quality" This is a porn site and although a story should be readable it's the content that I score on, not how well trash is written. You can have the most eloquent writing available but if the theme doesn't turn you on, what good does it do you? This is not a writing contest, but a erotic contest. The first thing I ask is the story interesting enough to hold my attention.If the answer is yes, I continue reading, and if the answer is no, I move on. If the story pisses me off in the first few paragraphs, I stop immediately and gave the author a big berth.

Your last sentence sealed the room of an already really bad story. First effort, or last, this was awful.

Cucks are the lowest worms in existence/ Fortunately, that is the way they want to be treated.

Cucks are simply closeted gays fantasizing about having sex with other men but dishonest enough to not realize it.