All Comments on 'Yours Ch. 01'

I loved your story!

Especially since my actual name is Jessica haha. Wish this would happen to me ;)

Best I have read in a long time

This was a truly great piece of writing - congratulations on your new direction. You have taken us so far with this it would be almost sacrilege NOT to continue it.

Covering most of the things that 'do it for me', I can hardly wait for more!

Five stars, my sincere thanks - and please write more for us.

Very very well done!! Five stars and I hope his dominance and punishment of her continues and intensifies. Please more!

I think that just about says it. Of all the teenager / first time stories this is a masterclass of careful, well-paced, thoughtful character building.

That was wonderfully well written. :)

Please write another chapter! Cliff-hanger ending...I need more! Please.

One of the best pieces of erotica I've read in years. Please write more - there are many directions you might go tht remain believable. Let him exploit her, but not way out - more a mutual exploration of her submission and his natural dominance (nuts - you will find your direction). excellent.

you have to write another chapter. this is one the best stories i've ever read in my life!

Please write another chapter of this story.

If this had been a story about our hero subduing a fifteen foot tall woman, the descriptions of their genital conjunctions would have been closer to correct. I recommend learning the anatomical locations of the hymen and the cervix -- preferably through extensive field work.

Otherwise, a very good story!

!!!

That was incredibly well written, really good pacing, didnt move things too fast, but didnt let them get boring. I really hope you continue this story.

extroardinary! I was that girl growing up but it didnt quite work out like that for me. Enjoyed the story and the adolescent feelings. It all worked very well and I hope you write something else.

I would love to hear more!

One of the best bdsm stories ive read on here, i wish he was my master!

absolutely amazing story. keep up the great work

This story is exquisite in its dance between emotion and sexuality. I love that you have expressed, in such a subtle way, so much vulnerability beneath the dominance. What a turn-on!

Wonderful story, I loved it. I would love to see more chapters for this. I mean you could make a whole series off this tale. I would love to see more, this is by far my favorite one of all time.

A really really good story. Just marvellous....

This story really is top of the crop.

Cannot wait for the sequel!

Top notch! This is a wonderful story and very intriguing. It's sexy and yet emotional. Well crafted. Please do a sequel!

Splendid work, I'd suggest you continue this..

It was hot, really hot and incredible romantic!

Brilliant story. Don't just leave it there though!

Top 1%, at least. Well done. Look forward to reading more from you.

I literally could not stop reading this until the very end, despite needing to go to bed soon and I really hope with everything in me that you continue this/make a sequel. Please please please do.

omg I love a big dick story. Damn I'm wet

I Truly enjoyed this, please continue with another chapter, I beg of you. ;)

V

This was just so hot and erotic. Him not just dominating her but completely changing her. If you write another one you should let me know. I would love to read another.

This one had something special. The development of the characters was engaging. I concur that it would be worth persuing further.

This story was absolutely thrilling and captivating, I couldn't go to bed without finishing it. Please write more!

Very hot.. well written... and just begging to be continued

this has got to one of the best stories i have read, i have cum almost 3 times reading this, pleaseee... more,, moreee

You deffiently need to continue this story and write more. This is the first story on here over found that I'll most deffently be reading again. More though.

I want to be Jessica!

GREAT read! You need to keep it going! Just a thought...it would've been cool to do Jessica's POV, to see how her blossoming submission sat with her. =]

You should definately continue, it's one of my favorites and I wanna know what happens between the two of them you're a great writer!!!!!!!!!! Please UPdATE!!!!!!!! Like ASAP

i love this story i hope there is an update it was wonderful and amazing and you are a wonderful writter i have never wanted to keep reading anything more i mean you were truly wonderful

This is so good one of my favorites and I definately think that you shoul continue with this story I want to know what happens

You should consider writing novels for a living. This was truly a captivating read, one that could not be put down until finished. Wow.

Wow, ive read a lot of erotic stories, but this one is great. I would like to see more, especially part 2 if there will be any. You said you should improve? I dont see what can you improve! This is excellent, a shiny 5 star. As other people have said, you should write novels as a living. You are indeed a great writer! Keep on the good work! :)

This is actually incredible. I wasn't a fan of all the swearing, but you captured a level of intensity in describing the emotions between the characters that I have never seen before. Your story is the first store where I have actually ended up reading everything after the climax.. Nice work!

But spoiled by one thing which just stretched its credibility too far. How on earth can a young virgin male wait so long to fuck her?

And one serious anatomical error, common to too many male Lit writers. The hymen is at the entrance to the vagina, not several inches inside it. Always.

I want more of that kind of story.

I truly couldn't put it down until I was finished - and that says a lot! It made me so horny and wet, I'm sitting here at work glued to my phone screen and horny as fuck! Wow - great afternoon!

Thank you!

Truly.

story is great, except for in the beginning where the guys dick is 6.5 inches around. that's half a foot and not humanly possible so if you want your story to be believable you might want to change that to 6.5 centimetres...

I could not put this story down untill I finish. I was dripping wet the entire time and I hope the author adds another chapter soon! (;

this made me go nuts, i couldn't stop reading it and i don't want to. a word of advice from a fellow author, DO NOT STOP, keep the flow and continue the build you have here is the base for something more than just a story who know this could be the next 50 shades of grey...

Thank you, this really is an amazing story, one of the best here, and for once the characters are believable and thought through. I do hope I will find more of the newly found compassion from the protagonist in the next chapter, before the girl really does break into pieces...

P.S. Luckily, I'm running with the metric system, so the number of inches wasn't too disturbing :)

The friend received exactly what she deserved! She tormented the boy for years and he turned her into a submissive slave. I loved the story so much, I actually climaxed twice while reading it! Please write more..

So hot! I love the power dynamic between the two... i have to go change panties now...

I love this story. It is so much more realistic than the other stories I have read on this site.

I usually don't like so much storyline in literotica story but you have a perfect way of balancing the storyline and the amount of sex related stuff and this is the best storyline I have read on literotica! Actually this piece as a whole is the best! Thanks for sharing!

Very nicely written. I think this is the farthest one can go with hate-sex without turning it into rape. Full of raw erotic desire. No wonder I found this one in the BDSM Hall of Fame section.

You're so descriptive in your writing. The emotional turmoil the characters feel isn't forced, which I like.

And that was a damn good first kiss, too.

Well written and descriptive story, I like the explicit detail of how you change a real bitch into your slut slave prepared to sink to any depths to feel your cock in her pussy and the way you finally give it to her is fantastic. Well worth five stars.

more back story than i like but well written and enjoyable

Rereading this makes me feel a little queasy, because the line between sex and real life is so blurred. It seems like Steven is using sex as a way to inflict violence upon Jessica. Although it makes for an interesting story, I hope nobody reading this thinks Steven's actions would be permissible in real life. BDSM should be consentual, which it often isn't in this chapter of the story. That said, I can't wait for chapter 4, and to see where their relationship goes.

Damn! It was good. Hot and well-written! I like how change in the characters happened through the story. And I like the ending. Not gonna lie but I hoped they would get together as a couple in the end and leave all the hate behind. :) So the ending leaves some space for imagination. The things may progress good or bad way afterwards. Well, personally I imagine it to be good.

In short, yes, it's a very nice story!

I very much enjoyed this story. Your writing is captivating and your characters are real, and very relatable. The story drew me in and didn't let go until the end.

read the whole thing, i hope you right another chapter, i want to know why was jessica so hostile to steven. i wish you would have made steven date becky to get back at jessica, to tease her and make her go crazy. i wish you write more. you need to get your story into a erotica novel. they have a bdsm erotica book every year. your story should be in it.

The prosaic nature of much of the setting and relationships in the story-high school, an (apparently) average protagonist who isn't somehow incredibly stunning to the first glance in some way or another, an unnecessarily hostile 'popular girl'-I wonder if it's these things that help you establish such depth of relationships?

Lately I've read a few stories around here that involve a good deal of world-building. In order to reach shades of the relationship you're building to in this story, a lot of framework has to happen, it seems. Things flow much, much more naturally here and I imagine it's helpful to have such a small cast that you can bring such a razor focus to Jessica and the protagonist. It works very, very effectively but I find that your characterization of both feels so authentic and plausible that it does an excellent job of helping the reader get right into the story.

That's all even before the very, very potent eroticism kicks in too, no less. It would be difficult to overstate how much that was enjoyed by this reader at least, and how the authenticity you brought to the table in getting into the protagonist's head and Jessica's is maintained quite well when it's tapping into their lusts as well. In fact I think this brings me to what I hope might be a constructive criticism, because it's the only one I find I can think to relate.

That would be that although you do allude repeatedly to how surprising, how potent the control the protagonist is able to exert and the speed with which Jessica yields up control-willingly, which of course is so important-you mention repeatedly how powerful and remarkable it is, I think my constructive criticism would be that a little more background and attention should be paid to how the protagonist is able to do this when he is, sexually, a complete novice in all but self-exploration, and even largely there too.

You do a very good job of how his control gets some artificial support by his hatred and confusion over what he feels for her-I imagine it's easier to delay an orgasm when your mind helplessly brings you back to imagery of the one you're with tormenting you-but I think perhaps more could have been done to explore just how it was the protagonist was able to exert such self-mastery as he did. You certainly did examine that question, but I think perhaps it might not have been enough.

Bear in mind that much of this was realized after reading the story and being powerfully excited by it:) Having read later chapters, can I also just say that in spite of Jessica's reasons for enjoying submission often being stereotypical, with her the portrayal illustrates that there is often a reason for stereotypes, and she feels as authentic as the protagonist does.

Thanks *very* much for sharing, and I hope you continue sharing your story with us as time passes. It's actually the first one I've favorited on literotica, come to think of it, and while that's partly because I only just recently started reviewing and commenting more seriously, it's also because the story is such a powerful one.

I'm not sure how much or if at all you notice comments-in my experience they often end up being so very, very fawning and brief and unhelpful-so I'm not sure my remarks will have much value. Bearing in mind that I'm not asking for a response as in depth as these remarks have been, if you'd like to hear more or even if you've simply just noticed it was made, could you just send me a note or remark in the comments themselves? I enjoy musing about stories and things I really enjoy, but if they're not noticed (please note I don't say 'appreciated'), if they're just to an empty room, I'd like to know that too and keep them to myself.

L

I've read all five sections, and the sadist in me envies Steven's having such an outlet for what he feels. And the, ahem, equipment to carry it out.

As other have mentioned, the source of this animosity between him and Jessica is a source of great curiosity for me. I think it would utterly devastate Steven to find out he did something that turned Jessica against him for all those years. And it could play it in truly glorious sadism as they confront whatever it was.

Steven and Jessica are the most real kinksters I've seen in fiction. I hope you've got more chapters in you, 'cause I want 'em.

I have been the other guy in this scene, the guy with the small cock who gets dumped by a hot girl for a hung guy who treats her badly. Amazing to read the story from the hung guys side...

Oh sweet baby jeezus mother of.......Thank you. Just thank you.

Good one. Good One. Thank heavens I stumbled upon this

Great story...so insightful and erotic. Thought the dialogue was fantastic, tense and very sexy. Added to the development of the eroticism and intensity of the story.

The BDSM aspects were so well done ...just loved it !

Cannot wait to read more. Got to me as may be evident...a real gem. Only on Chapter 1 so on tenterhooks to see what occurs.

Will contact Amazon, so wrong to have your story plagiarized.

Whoooooaaaa! Soo good!!!

I keep coming back to this one, I just read the entire series without letting myself cum until the end so I can really savour it. And it's weirdly one of the most romantic stories I've ever read, made sweeter by the twist that the guy actually does hate her, instead of some poorly conceived plot device to highlight the girl's humility. This takes hate sex to a whole new level.

And it's written so well and so hot that I don't even mind reading from the Dom's perspective (I usually just read from the sub's) but hearing his thoughts just kills me. I'm dying for a part 7 I would do ANYTHING for it oh my god.

Just the perfect combination of romance and lust.

I've just spent two days torturng myself with this story. And I say torturing myself cause of the "mood" it's got me in haha. Wonderfully written, the whole thing. I absolutely have a crush on this guy as he's precisely my type of Dom. Love how his priority is always control, of her but especially of himself. Love how he admits to himself the mistakes he's made and seeks to make them right. Many of the things this fictional character does can very much serve as an example for me Domly Doms with years of experience ;)

Among all of them, it is just the second story that scores 5 stars, as far as I'm concerned !

Well, hymens don't work that way. So, it killed me kinda of when reading this.

What the hell does that mean? Are you trying to say that she wouldn't have a hymen after the little dick she was with? If you are, you're sorely mistaken. I used tampons when I was a virgin, with the approval of my doctor, because he said it wouldn't (and didn't ) break my hymen.

They mean that hymens aren't true barriers. They are a membrane that stretches over a small portion of the vaginal canal. They don't obstruct the entire thing, and are poor indicators of wether a woman is sexually active.

I feel like this story does a good job all around, and I'm especially interested how you portay the main character's internal turmoil, especially the conflicting feelings towards the end. One thing I do feel iffy about is the kind of person the MC is. On the one hand we have to be understanding of the abuse and trauma he's faced, though I am interested in seeing how he deals with his own ugliness. While trauma happens to us, it also shapes us and affects us, so I see some of that ugliness in him that certainly needs to be dealt with. One point of contention is the hymen thing, which is kind of a weird misogynistic wish fulfillment. I definitely feel like we can do without the hymen "I was here first" sort of thing moving forward.

Loved it, and am excited for more.

I enjoy every chapter deeply. Thank you.

Because of the early years it's going to take.work and time to erase the negative and damaged parts of their psyches.

This incredibly erotic and well-written. Thank you.

- Willow

Your writingstyle is real good. I feld like I was the main caracter in this story. The thoughts and feelings were well written down. Something you can never do in a movie. I Defenetly might use some of the ideas. Thank you and keep writing.

Kr. Flo

Absolutely brilliant story with a great theme which still manages to have tenderness as well as the excellent erotic descriptions.

Can't wait to read the next chapters.

Great piece of work! I’m looking forward to seeing how the characters change after their first encounter.

So damn good. It was a bit painful with how cruel Jessica was, but I guess you need that for the satisfying tension. I think I was bothered more that his sister never stuck up for him and even the parents tolerated the bullying behavior. And ultimately I’m torn between enjoying the revenge degradation and feeling Jessica didnt deserve the reward of a satisfying dominant. Thought provoking and so hot! Thanks

Your bad to the bone, just don't let it go to just your head s. You took some real chances, and you hit pay dirt.

Next thing you know you'll be begging to get a blow job, and discover your pussy whipped.

There's a reason people get bullied. It's because they LET people bully them. The plot is the perfect example of a weak ass, spineless, cowardly kid who lets people walk all over him. All it took was a 'sorry' from his sister, and 18 years of abuse, just watching her twin brother get humiliated everywhere is forgiven. Fucking pathetic.

Man, I loved this story. I can hardly wait to read the next chapter. It would be interesting to get the same tale told from Jessica's POV. also it would be cool to get a lot more naughty and include Rose into a dynamic 3 some with her bro and Jessica. Great writing btw

This was a great story!!!

I absolutely fucking loved this!!

SO FANTASTIC! WRITE MORE!

That was insanely intense!! I look forward to the following chapters.

I could write 10 pages - MORE! - about all the things that were RIGHT about this story, but I won't. At this point, I'll only mention ONE: There's a Chapter TWO!!

Truly fantastic!!

X-Man

holy fuck this is amazing

This guy is a psychopath. He needs to be institutionalized until he can function in normal society.

The best series on Literotica. This is probably my 10th time reading it and it only gets better because I find something new that I've missed with each reading. Masterful. I wish this legend of an author had continued this series, your writing was a gift you gave to all of us. Thank you.