All Comments on 'Zach Ch. 01: Discovering His Powers'

Well done, can't wait for Chapter 2 !!

Little Zach woke up early I think. I'm not sure what's so special, don't your girlfriends go crazy after a taste of your man gravy ?

Agreed we need to hear more about this, and does the connection last permanently ? I shudder thinking his mom and sister are waiting to take him home. Do nurses make house calls ?

So hot can't wait for more

This story is pretty rapey.

Just from a grammatical standpoint, this needs a lot of work. On top of that, there are so many commas missing. Finally, I can’t believe for a second that any of the characters talk this way. They sound so formal and it’s honestly creepy.

You definitly need an editor. Its so stiff, mechanical and emotionless seeming and the spelling mistakes are obvious and numerous.

new comments on an old story published Oct-'17. My writing skills have vastly improved as well as spelling checks and editing. I do not re-publish the same story to make improvements. The dates on the original comments will tell you how old the story is.

This is a great start to a classic Mind Control story, one of the best if not the Beat Ever. I have read only one of the "continuation episodes" of the story, and it was Great, and have come back to its origin here, to follow the story line through its many segments. I appreciated your "Intro Guide to The World according to Literotica." I believe it was needed to fully appreciate the Whole Story, and your writing skills and style, so thank you for that. I have one request/suggestion: since everything is possible in the world of Literotica, it would be nice to find out in a future story/series that the red-haired nurse in time gave birth to Zach's son. and the somehow, magically, he inherited at least some of Zach's powers over the minds and bodies of the female bodies of this world -- young, old and in-between. And it would of course be nice if Zach could help his son to develop those powers and skills to their fullest extent, to the point where he could influence the way the world unfolded under the influence of the rising number of women in positions of power and position in the world. This would mean putting his Powers to good use for others, and not just for his own sexual satisfaction 9Which of course, he would still achieve.)In any case, Thanx for the great Read!

I enjoyed the tirade at the beginning, when I saw that I knew it was going to be a good story and it didn't disappoint. I mean who looks at a story with mind control or something similar in the tags and says, na this is not how things would really work. You wouldn't tell Tolkien that some silly little ring can't really corrupt you, so you do you, I enjoyed it.