All Comments on 'Zapped by The Martian Slut Ray'

I suggest you leave the humor to people such as HDK, Whatdreamsmaycome or Britease, who are actually funny. Also, you should dump your editor. They suck at it.

That was fun. It would make for a fun comic strip. Thanks

Simply for the Martian Slut Ray.

nice and different! I don't usually go for the science fiction on this site but this was an amusing combination of threads. Nice bit of fun.

Damn near spit my coffee out a couple of times! ;-)

You're right, this is THE definitive Martian Slut Ray story. Thanks for the laughs.

Was Hooked1957’s Cockcrazitol developed to counteract the effects of the Martian Slut Ray?

We'll know for sure when someone finally writes "The Cheater's Handbook."

Does Wobbles have an Uranium PU 36 Explosive Space Modulator? And after they were done anal probing his neighbor, use it on him? Enjoy your view of Venus. That's all folks!

This was funny and made me remember the comedy: "My Stepmother Is an Alien"...This could also be called: "My martian friend"...The important part? It make us smile...4*

5 for the title, i'll probably read it later

Especially love "The Porcupine" touch at the end. Agreed, someone should write the cheaters guide haha! Thanks for the laugh!

I appreciate what you tried to do here, but the story felt so uneven that it’s difficult to evaluate. There were some funny moments, but at other times the story seemed to take itself too seriously.

One cliffhanging question left unanswered: what happened to Jerry? If he wasn’t affected by the Martian slut ray, then why did he seem so confused about his behavior? What happened to him after the car crash? What did he think about Season 7 of Game of Thrones?

I think maybe I am taking this story too seriously. Thanks for the contribution!

There were some chuckles. I personally feel you put it in the wrong category. Maybe non-erotic? Probably Sci/Fi. I'm not sure why you made him a hillbilly. It didn't add anything to the story and you never really played off that theme. He could just as easily been drinking Jack Daniels and been strolling around his Uncle's farm in Texas.

And after he gets the phone message, I'm thinking most men move out and file for a divorce. He was WAY too calm after listening to his wife getting butt fucked. At the end, why would Wobbles and his people take Jerry? They already claim to have all the information they needed and removing him seemed like a silly aside, which left us without any drama in a confrontation with Zeke. Overall not the type of story that fits well in the loving wives section.

A sTory from mars , not your normal read.

It would have been 5; but now that the aliens are back to using anal probes, I felt the best I could give was a 4.

No comment

Thank you all who commented and emailed. Thanks to all who added it to favorites. Hell, thanks to all who even read it. I'll respond to your emails at a later time, right now I just hope I don't miss anyone in the comments section. I'll start from the first one and take them in order. I'll break them up into two chunks, since a few of these require thought and I'll need a break.

"I suggest you leave the humor to people such as HDK, Whatdreamsmaycome or Britease, who are actually funny"

It's hard to get riled up at this comment. I'm really fond of their work.

"Also, you should dump your editor. They suck at it."

My editor is awesome! I committed a bit of a cardinal sin by reworking a bit of my story and adding some things after I'd given her my "final draft" for review. As much as you seem to dislike my story, trust me when I say you'd have disliked it even more without her input. Any imperfections you sawthat made you want to bleach your eyes were doubtlessly mine.

"That was fun. It would make for a fun comic strip. Thanks"

And thanks for your comment, although some will doubtlessly see it as enabling me. Cheers.

"Had to give it a 4.

Simply for the Martian Slut Ray."

I'll take it, although I think the title really rates a 5.

"nice and different! I don't usually go for the science fiction on this site but this was an amusing combination of threads"

I normally don't go for it in this category either, but it was like low-hanging fruit. Glad you liked it.

"Damn near spit my coffee out a couple of times! ;-)"

You are clearly my target audience.

"Does Wobbles have an Uranium PU 36 Explosive Space Modulator?"

Damn it. I wish I'd worked that reference in.

"The important part? It make us smile...4*"

My work here is done.

"5 for the title, i'll probably read it later"

Yes! You get me.

Some of the comments in the second half will require longer replies, and I haven't had dinner yet. I do promise to get to the rest tonight.

LOL good old Bugs!

Still scratching my head over the story. I seriously think it would have gotten higher marks in SF 4*

Picking up from where I left off ...

"Especially love "The Porcupine" touch at the end. "

Me too. That was a special moment for me. I wanted to make the normally horrifying anal probe somehow worse. That's where I landed.

"Agreed, someone should write the cheaters guide haha! "

Seriously someone should. I'd do it myself if I had any inspiration beyond the title. I got nuthin. I really hope someone runs with this.

"Thanks for the laugh!"

And thanks for your stories.

"One cliffhanging question left unanswered: what happened to Jerry? If he wasn’t affected by the Martian slut ray, then why did he seem so confused about his behavior? What happened to him after the car crash? What did he think about Season 7 of Game of Thrones?"

I'll take the easiest one first. Jerry felt Season 7 was lacking on boobs. Just not enough of them. He did like that Jamie Lannister got a lot of screen time. I can see him loving that guy.

Jerry wasn't confused about his behavior. He saw an opportunity and took advantage of it. Kate told her story to him, and he rolled with it. What he really was, was this, "So either Jerry was also sincere, or he was playing a long game, just waiting for an opportunity to get a shot. How likely was that? Jerry would have to be a sociopath to pull that off. " He was playing a long game and was a sociopath.

Jerry wasn't involved in the car crash, the Martians took him back to Mars as part of granting Zeke's last request. I had originally planned to include a sentence or two where Kate and Zeke noted that Jerry had disappeared, and an explanation for it as part of the Martian cover-up. Despite my numerous revisions, I somehow dropped that. My bad.

Since the story is what it is, I'll let the readers fill in the gaps. I know what I'd intended to do, but I think whatever the reader imagines might be more satisfying to that individual.

"I'm not sure why you made him a hillbilly. It didn't add anything to the story and you never really played off that theme. He could just as easily been drinking Jack Daniels and been strolling around his Uncle's farm in Texas."

One of the parts of the "alien abduction mythology," is that it always happens in rural areas. Going with "write what you know," I know the Ozarks better than I know rural Texas. Using the Ozarks, is a bit of a "shout out" for me, since that area isn't often included in stories. It has some unique characteristics.

Not really relevant to the plot, but some inside references that only Ozarkers would appreciate was part of the fun for me in writing this. And if I can call attention to the plight of the Ozark Hellbender, this counts as community service as far as my parole officer is concerned.

"A sTory from mars , not your normal read."

Thank you.

"It would have been 5; but now that the aliens are back to using anal probes, I felt the best I could give was a 4."

I can't find any fault with this reasoning.

#dontshootthemessenger

"Müde, am Abend alleine zu sein? Komm auf meinen Ссылка (https://bit.ly/2GRQmZX) Und du wirst die einmalige Gelegenheit haben anonymen Sex ohne Verpflichtungen am selben Tag zu machen 😍💋!

Его сень sh Frauen nach männlicher Zuneigung💋)"

So glad you liked it. I'm not sure I agree with you that I am a modern day Shakespeare, but I appreciate it. By the way, my German is a bit rusty.

"No comment"

I see what you did there. ;)

On a side note, I do assume authors that enjoy my stories means I'll probably enjoy theirs. I'll be reading yours.

"Still scratching my head over the story. I seriously think it would have gotten higher marks in SF 4*"

But in SF, not sure the Martian Slut Ray would have resonated as much. The marks honestly don't bother me. I write for the people that like the stuff I do. A comment letting me know it was well-received, public or private, is what gives me happy feet and encourages me to keep publishing for you guys.

You are, of course, right in your suggestion that this little piece of frivolity would have scored more stars in something like Sci-Fi, or maybe Humour & Satire.

But in LW you write to provoke the comments, not bring out the stars. The comments is where the fun comes from. The score for an LW story is irrelevant.

Lue

"The comments is where the fun comes from"

Also new friends and bad ass editors.

The simple explanation that I have been searching for. The answer to what makes a woman go bat shit crazy out of the blue. Thank you Piper Hamlin, for bringing this to my attention , finally. Really a great, imaginative little story. I haven't seen anything quite like this before. Thanks for opening my eyes.

"The simple explanation that I have been searching for. The answer to what makes a woman go bat shit crazy out of the blue. Thank you Piper Hamlin, for bringing this to my attention , finally. Really a great, imaginative little story. I haven't seen anything quite like this before. Thanks for opening my eyes."

I know, right?!

This is a totally delightful story, creative and funny, and just a pleasure to read. Well done, PiperHamlin!

Bd4554 and Justgr8, thank you both for taking the time to comment.

That was great! Can't stop laughing. Welcome aboard!

Martian Slut Ray was originated as a criticism of those plots where a formerly loyal, loving, intelligent, ethical wife suddenly turns into a monster slut whore with little or no explanation. The most recent story, "Then Surly We" is a good example. Here's the wife's explanation for her incredibly treacherous adultery: "I can't believe what I did, what I agreed to do, the deceit that became my daily nature. I was less than I had been. I don't know why. I just did it." A good example of the Martian Slut Ray plot device. Your lampoon of that phrase is perfect, and long overdue.

While a woman might not want to admit why she betrays her marriage, might want to forget, or deny it, she knows. It makes an author look inexperienced or lazy when he or she fails to explore a key ingredient of almost all adultery plots: why did he or she do it? Your story illustrates that if your are going to to rely on the adulterer claiming they don't know why they committed such a heinous betrayal, then have the decency to at least give Wobbles and his crew credit.

Great story; thank you.

My wife laughed hysterically when she read, "Could I have a couch fetish?," and couldn't stop for minutes. Now I have to worry about whether she has a couch fetish. So thanks for that, hope you're pleased with yourelf.

YOU should write The Cheaters Handbook. Other writers could do it well, but they won't do the unpredictable version you would. So man up!

Having snickered, chortled, and snorted my way through this, enough to make the denizens of the surrounding Dilbert cubes wonder about my sanity, I must write a serious comment, or try to. (I feel like I'm trying to analyze P.G. Wodehouse.) Obviously we'll never have to wonder about a wife cheating for no good reason again; we now know about Wobbles & Co. But you also took the time and care to set the story in a recognizable time and place, and to develop characters we can like and care about: and all in three pages. Very, very well done.

GA

Apparently some people had their sensayuma surgically removed (I seriously doubt it was shot off in a war). Thank you, for skewering one of the more egregious critics, and for giving all right-thinking folk both a relief from the seemingly endless flow of dreck that pollutes the LW world and a glorious gaggle of guffaws. Five bright stars.

"That was great! Can't stop laughing. Welcome aboard!"

I appreciate the welcome! If I revisit Mars, I'll name a character after you. Martian name is "Welcomer." Now that I consider the innuendo, not sure if you'd want that.

"Your story illustrates that if your are going to to rely on the adulterer claiming they don't know why they committed such a heinous betrayal, then have the decency to at least give Wobbles and his crew credit."

Finally, someone around here is talking sense.

"I want to meet a man for sex. I'm a pretty blonde :) I like good guys! With whom it is easy to make friends! "

I wish I knew guys like that, I'd hook you up with one.

"My wife laughed hysterically when she read, "Could I have a couch fetish?," and couldn't stop for minutes. Now I have to worry about whether she has a couch fetish. So thanks for that, hope you're pleased with yourelf."

When I write lines that make me laugh, I hope others will respond the same way. I can tell you, "Could I have a couch fetish?" was not on my list. If she found it hysterical, I think you are right to be concerned about possible ramifications. Good luck.

"Having snickered, chortled, and snorted my way through this, enough to make the denizens of the surrounding Dilbert cubes wonder about my sanity, I must write a serious comment, or try to."

This may be my new favorite comment. I also dropped off a note from Wobbles in the comments section of one of your stories.

"Apparently some people had their sensayuma surgically removed (I seriously doubt it was shot off in a war)."

I'm stealing "sensayuma." Thanks for the other stuff you said as well, but "sensayuma" is a wonderful find.

"The most recent story, "Then Surly We" is a good example."

I have a different opinion on that one. Sorry to break from the levity, but not seeing the MSR there. I feel I should know, I define what that is at this point.

Your stories are fun, and the comments and your replies are even funner. Based on reading your first two stories, you have the wit, and the refreshing attitude we need on LW. More humor is exactly what we need to lighten things up a little bit. Please write again soon, and often. Thanks.

. . . but one of the anonys said it made an author look lazy if he didn’t give a reason for a wife’s adultery. First of all, it depends on the perspective: if it’s first person from the husband’s viewpoint, he may not know. The most he can know is what his wife tells him, and that could be nothing, or, if she does tell him something, it could be a shaded truth or outright lie.

But more, it may be that even the cheating wife doesn’t really know; a lot of affairs begin totally without planning or intent, but an unexpected attraction coupled with opportunity.

That’s one of the things LW readers don’t like a lot, adultery for no real reason, but if a real, strongly considered reason was required, there’d be far less adultery!

. . . all cheating caused by the Martian Slut Ray would have to be the fault of men, right? 😀

"That’s one of the things LW readers don’t like a lot, adultery for no real reason" - No, LW readers (except for luedon and her "Excuse Brigade"!) don't like adultery period!

Any "real reason" would require discussing said reason with the husband BEFORE cheating and/or getting a divorce, again, BEFORE cheating!

I'm one who does like to see an author of a LW story make an attempt to explain and give a reason for an adulterous wife's behaviour.

No behaviour occurs without a reason. Although, as RR says, even the adulterous wife may not understand the reason while it's happening. Sometimes others can divine the reason when she can't, and sometimes she can work it out herself in thinking about it after the affair has come to an end.

But what happens in many LW stories is that an excuse is confused with the reason. And many of those excuses are no better than suggesting that a wife's adultery is caused by the Martian Slut Ray.

Lue

And nobody confuses it quite as much as SBrooks does.

Lue

...their Word is there bond. Some do not. Those two camps will never agree or understand the other.

Reason or no reason, a spouse who cheats has beforehand decided he or she did not have to keep their Word. Forever rendering their Word worthless.

I am not a stranger to the sudden attraction or opportunity, but my first thought was always, I gave my Word!'' More than once I was blatantly propositioned. My answer was always the same.

''I am married and I love my wife''

Note to luedon et all

No longer will you have to insist on anon identifiers so a dislogue can ensue.

ANONS HAVE BEEN LOCKED OUT FROM MAKING MORE THAN ONE COMMENT.

YIPPIE SAYS BROOKIR BOY AND CALGARY CAMPER

. . .their Word is there bond. Some do not."

But that's just it: I'd guess that most people who promise to forsake all others really mean that, when they make that promise. Yet somewhere around half of all married people wind up not keeping that promise. I'd guess that most of those who cheat really do believe that their word is their bond, but fail in a moment of weakness.

""That’s one of the things LW readers don’t like a lot, adultery for no real reason" - No, LW readers (except for luedon and her "Excuse Brigade"!) don't like adultery period!"

I find that a kind of odd statement. If someone doesn't "like adultery period!" why would he come to a category described as "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more"?

This is the most widely read, and most commented on section in Literotica. Clearly, a lot of people do like adultery, at least as a story subject.

Literotica itself is an erotic, romantic fiction site, but LW is about the least erotic section here for the adultery haters. Their favorites, the BTB stories, are mostly about anger, revenge, and sometimes violence and murder. That usually isn't erotic or romantic. The cuck stories get read, and commented on, a lot, even by readers who say that they hate cuck stories, even when the writer tells us, in the titles and descriptions, that it's a cuck story.

RR, you ask: "If someone doesn't 'like adultery period!' why would he come to a category described as "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more"?

May I suggest that the answer you would get from the moral brigade won't be the real reason. "I like to read about adulterers suffering the consequences" is about as real a reason as the Martian Slut Ray is a reason for a wife's adultery.

Lue

I am a huge fan of your comics, by the way, but not so much the movies. You say, "This is the most widely read, and most commented on section in Literotica." Half of that statement is true. It is the most commented section on the site, but it is far from the "most widely read," for two reasons. Let me explain.

Incest/Taboo is, by far, the most widely read category, on this, and on any other site that allows it. It is not even close. I keep a database on the top 250 stories in the categories in which I am interested. LW and I/T are two of those categories. There are at least ten times as many readers in I/T as there are in LW. So, that part of your statement is utterly fallacious, for that reason.

The other mistaken notion is that LW is a monolith. It is far from that. The type of story you describe, "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing..." is very UNpopular in the LW category. Well-written, really hot ones can do well, but by and large, they get no more views than stroke stories do in any other category. That is especially true of the cuckolding/humiliation stories that make up the bulk of the stories posted in LW. They are sparsely read and commented upon. They get few votes.

Those stories that deal with adultery in the form of a "love found, lost and found again," story do much, much better. They comprise more than 90 percent, I would estimate, of the most read stories in the LW section. The violent and brutal revenge tales don't fare much better than the cuckolding/humiliation stories in terms of views, though they do score better. Those romantic stories are the only type of stories that come close to matching numbers of reads for stories in other categories. Qhml1 has a LW story of that type with over a million views. At one time, I had a dozen stories with over a million views each in other categories. No, LW is NOT the "most widely read" category. Sorry, you're just wrong about that.

"Your stories are fun, and the comments and your replies are even funner. Based on reading your first two stories, you have the wit, and the refreshing attitude we need on LW. More humor is exactly what we need to lighten things up a little bit. Please write again soon, and often. Thanks."

One of the things I also found funny, is what appears in the "similar stories" block. Thanks for your encouragement. As for submitting again soon, I have no idea what my timeline for the next submission is. Nothing is close to ready for a first pass by an editor. I do have periods where things flow faster than others though. As for submitting often, at this point I certainly hope to do so.

Good story and something unique. Plus, I gave you one extra star for supporting my take on the Marines story! ;-)

;)

I’m not normally a SciFi guy but this one intrigued me and compelled me to read it. I’m so glad I did. It was very well crafted, had great characters, and was believable with disbelief suspended.

A five star story that I’d loved to read more about. It had that Harry Potter feel to it.

Thanks

a good story but thr ending was sudden and felt unfinishd, No one edited this haha

How refreshing. No sinners and saints. Just good people in an unusual circumstances. Very creative and refreshing. Thanks.

With Piper's new story, I revisited comments on his other stories, and I feel that I need to defend myself on a couple of points'

"If I don't like adultery, why do I read stories here?" - To see how the adultery is dealt with! I enjoy watching "Law & Order, SVU." Why? I certainly don't like sexually involved crimes! I watch for the procedural.

As for the "reasons" for the adultery? I go back to one of my earlier comments: If a wife (or husband), has a reason, then they need to go to their spouse and DEAL with whatever those reasons are. If they keep those reasons to themselves, and cheat and get caught, then those reasons become excuses.

"Why? I certainly don't like sexually involved crimes! I watch for the procedural."

Who really understands the reasons why they do things?

Lue

Except as it it relates to solving the crime, do the Police really care why a criminal commits a crime?

If a robber robs a store, maybe he did it to get money for his drug habit; maybe he did it to get money top care for his family; maybe he just needed money because he can't hold a job. Should the store owner care what his reason was?

As I said before regarding cheating, if a wife has a reason to cheat, then she needs to discuss that reason with her husband and hopefully resolve the reason and not cheat, if they can't resolve the reason, either husband allows lovers, or they divorce.

If not, reasons become excuses.

But the criminologist and the sociologist those who are trying to understand criminal behaviour, and hope to develop a better society with less crime, certainly do care.

It's so we can understand and do something useful that the real reasons are more important than the excuses.

Lue

I really like the writing style, even in a goofy light-hearted silly story such as this. The scene where she grabs the tube of lube, thinks for a moment, then is back across the street is priceless.

Or a welcome distraction because I'm stalling on writing my next story since I've hit a wall. Actually, it's the last thing.

"A five star story that I’d loved to read more about. It had that Harry Potter feel to it. "

I wanted to write this like a a fairy tale. Glad I pulled it off in your eyes.

"a good story but thr ending was sudden and felt unfinishd, No one edited this haha"

...

"No sinners and saints. Just good people in an unusual circumstances"

If anyone is a saint in this story, it is Wobbles. A flawed saint for certain, but hey. He tried.

"The scene where she grabs the tube of lube, thinks for a moment, then is back across the street is priceless."

I do like comments where someone points out a point in a story they liked. I liked writing that part. Glad it hit. When a moment tickles me and a reader likes that same moment, I do a fist pump. You didn't see it, but it happened.

Doesn't that defeat the purpose of labeling her a 'faithful wife'? Once she cheats, she's not

clearly you have written the definitive Martian slut ray story. Fucking hilarious.

Well, that was certainly different. A humorous blend of Little Green Men and earth folks, sex, humor and what happened. I will never look at salamanders the same way again.

Obviously you've never had moonshine. If Zeke had consumed two quarts, and was working on his third, he would have been drunk on Uranus...

Thanks again...

One of this author's funniest. While sexy it is humorous. Great job. A 5* rating.

"One of this author's funniest."

It really goes downhill from there. I hope you read the rest but I'm worried you've already read my best. I do like "Do-Over" though.

Practically perfect in every way.

That The Martian Slur Day debuted in this story, making Mr. Hamlin a LW icon forever. I had also forgotten just how sanctimonious Luedon can come across when defending her "cheating is cute, harmless fun" bullshit.

Yet not in the Hall of Fame. LW is a curious beast.

Not the story - which was good-humoured all the way through, even after she'd been zapped - I enjoyed that. But from the comments, you are the originator of a phrase which gets randomly thrown at writers in LW from all directions. Damn you!

Secondly, my family wants you to know that despite you being an excellent writer, I am henceforth to read your stories (and the comments) when I am strictly alone, as laughing out loud and then having to explain why is deeply annoying for all concerned.

Well done, sir! 5*

I have wondered where Martian Slut Ray came from. It's from this great story and.your imagination. How does it feel to be famous? Great story too.

5* outrageously funny!

Reached the end of your stories. Fun, light read and I enjoyed it and all you stories immensely. Only one or two I couldn't get my arms around and I noted those in my comments. Keep doing what you do here. You provide a unique style and I enjoy the happy endings you drop on us as we are fearing the worst.

Hilarious!!

Finally, we have the answer to that question!!!

Doc

Great. A few similarities to my favourite film “Paul” but that’s no bad thing.

Very funny.

Wife cheats on her husband but none can blame her. She gets to have got guilt-free sex with her neighbor, has anal sex and oral sex with him and as she proclaims joyously it's the best of her life! We get to know her hubby has a smaller dick and probably will never match her lover's intensity and it is explicitly stated but hey! You can't blame the wife! Cheating has never been justified in a better way! Kudos to you for a good, original cuck raac story in a long, long time. I can see why Luedon edits your stories. It takes one cuck to understand another cuck. Great story anyways. We closet cucks can safely give it 5 stars.

Just strange and not particularly erotic. Three stars ⭐️.

.....

Just a delightful piece of (erotic) fluff! 5 stars

Good story. It's funny how you took this little thing that keeps getting mentioned in the comments and use it for a story of your own. They are still mentioning the Martian slut ray in the comments as if they're being clever.

Really enjoyed this as a satire. Well done.

Full marks for originality. Silly but sweet.

LA

Excellent fun read.

Lolz

WELL, that was different! Damn fun read though.

Hilarante

The reality is their is nothing in existence that can override a person's will, the Martian slut ray gun is a sarcastic explanation for why a woman cheated. Because women refuse to be accountable for their actions, and there is no way they'll face consequences. Women are just delusional and controlled by their constantly changing feelings.

OMFG I hope that last anon comment was sarcasm :). Dial it up to 11, Jerry…