All Comments on 'Zero, Fifty, or One Hundred - The Conclusion'

I liked this, a lot. More than anything else, the charactor development and dialogue made me care what happened to them and moved me to read on. In addition to charactor development, I also liked the inventive plot line with the choices he gave his wife. Refreshing! Also, I'd keep who ever is editing your work. This was thankfully free of the usual problems I see here that distracts the reader. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Kudos to Ahazura for getting his premier multiple installment effort as credible and coherent as it was. The right things happened in order to make reconciliation ending viable but the time frame was a bit compressed for my taste. Sharon caved abjectly in half hour span and didn't try to evade or obfuscate her multiple lies and behavioral trespasses unsuited for a married woman.

In my personal experience it's one thing to catch a liar ( male or female ) - that's relatively easy, but to get that person to admit it on first confrontation ? It's easier to nail Bill Cosby - endorsed jello pudding to the wall.

Good wrinkle to introduce counseling and have Bob face justice for punching lothario. That's real life as I know it, in terms of fighting in crowded clubs. Maybe Luke was caught out too easily admitting to attempted drink supplements and non consensual multiple party rape , but by and large the story shook out well.

I thank the author for resolving ambiguous ending of first installment. No need for FTDS to come out of self-imposed retirement ( or is it rehab ) for this tale. Whew !

Character, Truthfulness finally, Standing by your mate , & etc. TK U MLJ LV NV

Anytime a rapist is put in prison is a good time. And when a wife can prove she was not a cheater is a wonderful occurrence. Way to go.

I'll repeat my advice...read! Don't read to be critical,but read to break things apart. You've got to read "A Boilerplate Rendering" by the Unoriginalist, then read HDK's similar story "Yesterday". Then go after all HDK's 4.00 plus stories; he's got some great things. Read the first two chapters of D.Q. Steele's WWWM, and then Ohio's best. Read D.Q. Steele's "Separate Vacations, and then anything by Macomber. These guys are among the most creative. Read KK's Marcie..., but read, read, read. Read Matt Moreau's stuff. Read Rehnquist! Read everybody's comments. Read Harry from Va's comments...Try to figure out what Tazz keeps trying to say...(LOL)

Jedd Clampett

A good end and a good story...And you mustn't be scary about writing if that is what you really like...To encourage you to keep writing 4*

Nice story and good job with the plot. Digging the wife out of her adulterous grave was a trick. Unfortunately, human nature being what it is, her husband is NEVER going to forget her betrayal. The relationship is permanently damaged. Even if they stay married for the rest of their lives, he will remember it until the day he dies. That is because betrayal goes past our hearts and straight to our animal brain. It is an attack on our survival, our lives. The reaction to it is animal: kill. Not murder, self defense. Defense against a crushing betrayal that is on it's way to taking very real assets from your life. This is seen everyday in the news when a cheater is caught and killed. This is the way it is. The only people that do not react like that are people who are not connected. People who have nothing to lose, because they never invested anything in their relationship. Part three would be brief: "As I lay on my deathbed, in my final moments I realized that she had cheated me out of my trust in her. The past 30 years had been lacking love and trust and replaced by doubt, anxiety, sadness. Death did not seem so bad now. I kissed my daughter goodbye and with a look I told my wife exactly how I felt." Broken hearts and broken trust cannot be repaired. If they could be, there would never have been Country Music.

I could live with the ending .

While some may not care for the reconciliation, but I feel that it was earned, WASN'T 100% and is being worked on.

As I said in the first part, and as he said here, if she has any concerns about HIM or his work, she should TALK to him.

As Bob said here, surely a woman with her beauty and sex appeal isn’t lacking for attention, why would she be so susceptible to him?

Your dialogue and prose are still a bit stilted. As with many writers on this site you put together a decent recipe but you need to take it a step further and make that into a delicious meal. The writing is ok but unsophisticated, which impacts on how the reader becomes engrossed in the story. The better the writing the more believable is the tale.

Reading good authors is one way to improve your writing. You also need a good editor.

5* as encouragement but really only deserves 3/4*.

the wife showed no respect or love for her husband by her actions, and cared little for her public actions and how they would affect her marriage. Drinking is never an excuse as a person always choses to drink, A to B to C. If she had gotten HIV/AIDS would it have mattered whether she was drunk or drugged or not. One choses to put themselves in situations where things can happen.

I am giving you a 4, though it is nearly a 5. Not over written, no obligatory sex scenes, its a snapshot of just a short time. I would have made it one entry, and you may consider doing so one day. Altogether 3 1/2 pages, A quick read that makes me want to hear more from you

JimC

The plot was credible as were the characters and their reactions. Agree with the previous comments that the relationship would suffer even in the long term but with efforts from both could be made to work

Thanks for your efforts and looking forward to your next offering

A nice, believable story. Very engaging. Looking forward to more of your submissions

One of my big complaints about the happy ending RAAC story (which this one is) is the blind eye taken to the years of work it will take to get even a little bit of the relationship back.

She had made the decision to cheat emotionally and ultimately physically. Being drugged is no defense for betraying her husband, her family, and herself. Fine let there be reconciliation but don't make it instant.

Unsatisfying conclusion. The protagonist was all bluster.

Well done. It is hard work writing and editing.

Not bad for a first story but the dialogue was a little stilted and the logic behind the wife's actions was kind of weak. After she decided to lie to her husband and go on a date with Luke dressed in a sexy black dress, the logic you presented for her actions stopped holding up. You don't even really present any kind of reasoning of why she chose to go on that date.

Your writing is fine...better than a lot of people here...but the issue here can be found in your own question: "what did she choose?" There was no question of what she would choose, because her feelings were so clear and unconflicted from the moment she was caught. There was no suspense or drama to it...I can't imagine that any reader left part one wondering what her decision would be.

Needed AT LEAST one more proofreading.

Would like one more chapter. Reconciliation in this story is ok but I would always wonder if she told the whole truth. Also what about the video Luke said he would have his friend erase it how do you know if he did . Would like a few more details in the after math but enjoyed the read

You have gotten comments from some bigtime authors, so cheers, that is quite a testimony to the talent displayed in this first serial.

Looking fwd to more. And per Carvohi's comment, read " Wicked" by Metamorphose - the dialogue is off the charts good.

Groooaaaaaan. Man...this is what I feared most after reading the first chapter. You should've stopped at one and retained a little bit of originality. This overcooked trope has been repeated so many times on this site, it has become as boring and stale as the willing cuck stories featuring the humiliated cum-slurping hubby and the "bull" with the footlong schlong.

I saw where this was heading from the very first sentence, and hoped that maybe -- just maybe -- there would be an unexpected twist at the end. When wifey walked away from the table and left the two men alone, I thought that would be the twist. But nope.

You took a cartoon character wife who's too stupid to know what a polygraph is, matched her with an even more ridiculous, over-the-top villain straight out of an eighties action movie, and allowed the calm, cool, and collected superhero hubby to: confront the villain directly, punch him in the face Chuck Norris style, and have him arrested and beaten.

As if that weren't enough, you actually had the wife take a polygraph test (LOL!), and the hero not only ended up with the meek and submissive wife he always wanted, but a job promotion and an enormous pay raise. I mean...why not also throw in a full scholarship for his daughter, a boob job for his wife, and a prison rape scene for the villain? I mean, go big or go home!

This is such typical boilerplate for this category: create a dumb cheating wife and a rapist asshole for her lover, and then have the flawless hero hubby exact his revenge on both of them. I haven't looked at the rating yet, but I predict high-4's for this one.

One of your detractors really takes you to task, in reading his/her comments just tears you down without saying a word on how they would have written the story. Typical isn't it...."I am going to bitch about how you wrote the story but not give any of my opinion on how the story should have gone". The guy/gal is full of crap. Your story was pretty good. Keep up the good work.

Compared to what? Swinging and willing cuckoldry. No comparison. FIVE STARS.

Maybe "swingerjoe" should read his own stories first, before criticizing others.

(The comments, that is.)

"Waaaa! You don't like the story I like, so I don't like you!"

I see not much has changed in the past six months. As for how I would've written Chapter Two, I didn't realize that was a prerequisite for commenting. I wouldn't mind taking a stab at a rewrite of Chapter Two if the author would allow me to. But I can't help but ask: what have you written, annonies? Anything? Ever?

Not exactly Shakespeare but compared to alot of what is posted here anymore it's a pretty good first post.Keep writing what you want.As for you Joe I would think you would want to give guidance to a new author instead of skewering his first effort.Pretty much shows what kind of person you are.Petty and petulant. You know you hate these type of stories but you just can't help yourself can you.?And no I have never written anything but last time I checked it was not a prerequisite for posting an opinon.Sad Joe really sad.Good job author.

Like most authors chapter one drug a whole. I gave chapter one a five btw. And like most authors it was a whole with no way out. The thing lacking in most reconciliation stories is human nature. As humans we have memory, nasty thing memory. All the excuses and rationalizations. In the world can't stop memory. The husband will remember every act of faithlessness on the part of his wife and that will affect them going forward. He will not forgive and forget. When she gets a call, he will wonder who from? He didn't before but he will now. When she is running late or has to work over, he will wonder. That is the problem with memory and human nature. And this story like so many others does no address this. I gave this a three for the writing, the storyline was unsatisfying.

A nice first effort. I feel like the wife got off a little easy - I mean, she made out with the guy and handed him her panties in front of a crowd of people for God's sake! Then her explanation about her going to meet him at that hotel restaurant being purely innocent doesn't really jibe with the guy's flirtatious texts about the hot tub. She at least knew that HE was up to something, even if she wasn't.

I'm not saying he should have divorced her, but he was already back in bed with her that night and everything was a little too hunky dory already by the next day. I didn't find that to be a credible reaction, but ultimately, it was still a good story and I enjoyed reading it. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to seeing further submissions from you.

Cog

I'm impressed and believe me, it aint' easy to do that.

It's odd you mention the panty thing. It happened to me in real life. I used to work the night shift and I knew my wife had a 'girls night out' on Wednesdays. One night we broke down and our entire shift was sent home. Knowing one of her watering holes, I stopped by and when I didn't see her, I had a seat and a beer instead, just to watch and relax.

Yep, you guessed it. I happened to eventually see my wife in a booth with another woman and three dudes. She certainly wasn't acting like a married woman. I had pictures of her kissing the guy she was sitting next to and when she pulled her panties off then swung them around on her finger for the table to see, they were too busy to see me coming. She had just tucked them into the pocket of the guy when I stepped up to the table and looked up in shock to see me.

Of course, she started stammering and trying to get up, but I told her to stay and for her boyfriend to keep her panties. More importantly I said, keep my soon to be exwife because she no longer was mine. And then I told her, under no uncertain terms, do NOT come to my home because she didn't live there anymore. But that if she would text me an address, I'd deliver her clothes and personal items. Their entire table was shocked and they didn't let out a peep until my wife began to cry.

She didn't text me, she came home. By then, she was locked out because I put a chair under each door. When I refused to let her in, she threatened to call the cops, which she did. I went to work and quickly had everything I wanted loaded in the back of my truck, which was parked in the attached garage. She had no way of knowing what I was doing inside.

The police showed up and told me since we both had signed the lease, I had to let her in. She didn't like it when I queried them to whether I still had to, if she was a cheating slut. Neither of the police even chuckled and told me yes, I had to let her in. So I did and they left after making sure she felt safe. I ignored her and she began trying to excuse what she did and that she hadn't really done anything. The panties were the riskiest thing she had ever done and I was there to see it. I ignored her until she went to bed after an hour of haranguing.

If she got up at regular time the next morning, I was already in Colorado, heading north toward Montana. We had lived in Texas and where I hoped she would spend the rest of her life. No divorce, she could fuck off and divorce me for abandonment. A late call to my supervisor and an explanation extracted a promise from him not to deposit my final check, he would wait until I sent him an address. In our account, we had less than $1000.

I found a good job on a wheat farm running equipment. I was there from April until my ex showed up in August. She was parked next to my truck and I didn't see her until she opened the door of her car. A coworker had just started his pickup and I simply opened his door and climbed in, telling him to hurry. It took her too long to get back to her car and we lost her easily. I stayed with him for a few hour until going back for my own truck and then to my rental, only to find her car parked out front. I waited until about midnight until she left, then pulled in, loaded my shit and left. That was in Wheatland Montana and by the end of August I was working on Flathead Lake out of Seely as a fishing guide, something I had done in the past.

It took the slut 2 years to find me. I was working under the table for cash when she walked into the café I was eating at and slid into the booth across from me. It was all I could do to not bolt, just the sight of the cheater made me want to vomit. She tried to make nice and told me I was a father with an 18 month old at home. That just about made me laugh and asked her if she wanted some of my dna for a test, then started scrolling through my phone, showing her pictures friends had sent me. they were of her and the guy living with her, the same guy she had been out with that night. She began to cry and told me I had left her, she had desires and what was she to do? I told her she should have divorced me and moved on to her baby's daddy, not try and guilt me into coming home.

Then I had to hear about the "I Love You's" the most and all that drivel. I tossed down cash for my meal and told her to divorce me, send me the papers and we'd go our own ways. We did and I heard later, he stuck her with not only 3 kids, but also a couple std's that took drugs to control. She now lives alone with only her kids. Me? I'm happily married with a young son that I absolutely love as much as my beautiful wife.

Very nice conclusion, nice and tight and logical. You did good, keep writing. Xoxooxo Annette

The question should not be 'what would she choose'. The question which will keep him up late at night is 'why did she choose it?"

She seemed just skippy playing grab ass at the bar. She had no real remorse at humiliating her husband in front of her co-workers.

So...did she stay because she actually loved the goober? Did she stay because she wanted her kid to have an intact home? Because she didn't want to be labelled a slut? Because she didn't want to have to lose any self respect? Because her parents would crucify her?

Many, if not most of the reasons are rather selfish. I am not an absolutist and while even one is a good reason, more likely it was a LOT of reasons. But does he really want to stay with a woman who wants to stay with him because her primary concern was her credit report hit?

don't bother taking a stab at re-writing this story. Probably would turn the characters into swingers swapping cum with others. Who wants to spoil the story with boring and stale swinging crap. 5*

P.S. what makes you think anything has changed in this category? The swingers and humiliating whores still abound. Don't that make you happy?

I don't disagree with any of that, FD. However, I think those questions ultimately produce a different story. I try to focus my feedback on how well a story achieved what it set out to do, rather than what I feel it should have set out to do, and this one was very much presented as a "will she take the right door" choice game. The question you alluded to ("what will she choose") is very literally the tagline the author gave this second section, and the basis for the cliffhanger he attempted in part one. So, if I am to presume that THAT is the story he wanted to write, I think the most useful I can be is to focus on whether he achieved it.

All of your questions would produce a richer tapestry, for sure, but also a different type of story.

Good first effort, I look forward to more from you. Thanks

Kudos to you for your efforts and I acknowledged it by my score. The only other thing that I want to mention is that comment from another anony, which if in effect a recount of his experience with one of his wives or girlfriends where he does this and that, all of course in a macho manner, sticking it to the bitch. I really don't care about what I suppose to be a ficticious retelling of an episode in that small life unless you want to write your own story and submit it. I think that they're all from the same guy who just wants to tell us, and convince himself, what a manly man that he is.

Ahazura keep writing! The path to improvement is repetition and ideas. Write! Write some more. Get an idea, write.

I liked this story. Gave you 3*s. It wasn't an earthquake of emotions. It wasn't the most original.

It was readable. The characters were developed and interesting. Your dialogue was good. Had a common touch that fits everyday usage. Not many people in this story, that's understandable being your first. The addition of characters brings complexity. The plot gets bigger and more interactions to keep track.

My only dislike is the unnecessary chapter break. If you had delayed posting a few weeks, no big deal. One complete story whether 6 or 8 or 10 pages long is not a difficulty to the readers here.

Sorry for the lecture. Oh almost forgot, take all the comments good or bad, happy or angry, constructive or drivel for what it's worth. You know what they say about free advice,lol!

Hope to read you again Ahazura,soon. Thanks

In my opinion, this chapter didn't live up to the promise made by the first chapter. The first chapter was such a fresh look and had an original theme that made me expectant. This chapter however simply followed the path that countless stories before it traveled. So it was written well enough to not be a bad story, but I was expecting steak and got chicken. Oh well.

3 from me.

OK, Sharon's excuse about wanting a little romance but no sex was mostly bullshit. But that should have come out in their counseling. The minor plot device of adjusting hormone imbalance is always weak. "I feel bad" does not get reinterpreted to "I want another man's attention". She never did answer why she dressed so sexy for her secret dinner date, that was just for talking. And most importantly, how could an intelligent experienced discerning woman find any attraction at all for this criminally perverted sex predator? I mean this snake must have exuded enough oil, attitude, and arrogance to repulse a nymphomaniac. If he was that good of a player he would have immediately started playing Bob, not jumped in his face about fucking his wife. A player is ALWAYS looking for the advantage, the opening, the opportunity to get more, get by, and get over any obstacle. So arranging the drugging and gang bang was over the top, and weakened the realism of the story. Luke wouldn't do that until he already had videotaped their first fuck, for leverage.

But despite those flaws, it was still a good story. She will be making up for her actions for a long time. I hope Bob has the intelligence and the love to allow her to regain her dignity and self respect, and, eventually, his trust.

Thanks for your time and talent writing this story.

A refresching differend perspective. Go on carrying your own approach. I specialy love the idea of the husband confronting his rival direcktly. Way to go :-)

His assessment of the story was a fair one. Compared to the unfair and moronic critiques that other stories have gotten, his wasn't a bad one. He focused on the parts of the story that he didn't like and talked about it. He didn't judge the story simply because it was a "kick the bitch to the curb" blueprint. He critiqued it pretty fairly.

Maybe he could have been more diplomatic about it, but how harsh are you guys on new cuckold authors? I've seen way worse comments when the new author writes a wife sharing story.

Double standards people.

the kink is what she would have done if shit head wasn't planning on raping her? She pretty much ALREADY cheated NEVER to be trusted again. What is it with women??? the absolute easiest men to figure out is a smooth talking pussy hound. one story spent 50% of the dialog TRYING to convey just how smart everyone was, but still this unbelievably SMART slut to get fooled. well she wanted to be taken just not get caughtPERIOD she surely couldn't be THAT STUPID to not know her secret lover to be a pussy hound.

She DID cheat and she will again...

Really you need fucking help! Seek it or die

The kid must have a split personality like her mom.

overall it was okay, but the epilogue with his cv spoils it. Who cares?

But I'd have made him drink the wine.

covered the situation very well. There was no suspense and not a single surprise, except that a guy sitting next to a spiked glass of wine can be arrested for attempted rape. The first chapter was the story. This chapter simply provided closure for all of the readers that need everything tied up in a bow. A reader with any imagination at all could see how this was going to go after reading the wife's comments in the first chapter. Do keep writing!

a solid story. Thanks for Posting and looking forward to more from you

You've done well!

The video was simply of the dirty dancing with her giving him her panties. It’s NOT like it was a video of her having sex, which is what I THINK you are trying to get at.

After the first chapter, her choice was no surprise. What I was not expecting was the whole drugging and gangbang angle. Does someone really work that hard on seducing someone and then plan a gangbang for the first sexual encounter? That aspect didn't seem to fit chapter one. I got the impression he was just saying that to get hubby's goat, like he did about the blowjob, but as the storyline continued it was conveyed as what he was actually planning.

I would have asked Vicki what time they lrft the saloon the night she got home at 2:30 after gifting her panties. Im pretty sure since Vicki worked Friday and usually got home also about 11:30 Luke probably got some pussy that night before Bob did, otherwise i dont think Luke would have already been setting het up for his friends, but of course that part was just added to the story out of amaturish exhuberance on the authors part to make Bob even a bigger hero. Its pretty doubtful Luke would not havevwanted her all to himself at least the first time. 4

A good read on on the issues a couple have balancing work running a home and tome for one another.

Modt of us know what thst is like...

Better than most actually. You can feel proud about that. I thought Part 1 build up was good and glad you decided to end your own story instead of letting another do it for you.

The second part, even though not predictable, was not unexpected. The get out of jail free card of "hormone imbalance" is over used. My wife suffers from a hormone imbalance and doesn't lie, go to bars and slut around.

Not against the reconcile, seemed appropriate since she seemed to be remorseful.

Good start and do expect more from you in the future. Welcome to LW!

One could complain about details but overall it made sense. I can not quite agree to the combination of lieing to the husband and then putting on her little black dress to go meet her "friend". She should have woken up after the panty raid. But the story was well done.

The response was more of a Seventy Five than One Hundred.

What happened to his crew? Where is the video? Who drank out of the wine glass? (" . . . bagged the remaining wine and wineglass for testing")

They should take the friend who asked him to meet her for a very nice dinner.

And yes, you need a better proof reader.

I liked this one a lot. Not a BTB. Not a RAAC. Not a cucktale. Well, it IS a BTB, as in "Burn The Bastard wannabe Casanova rapist". Wifey realized how badly she screwed up, even though she didn't sleep with Asshole. Trust is fundamental to a marriage, and like most guys, Hubby took her to task for it. Now he's working towards forgiving her and she is working towards gaining his trust back.

The grammar and syntax mistakes are negligible, and didn't cost a star. I like seeing a marriage saved, as long as there isn't any actual infidelity going on.

5 Stars for each part.

First part was excellent, but here lies the challenge, the concept you chose to employ is not one that ever gives a 100% solution to the conflict that arises between spouses after cheating incident. Trust can never be fully restored, as humans we are simply not capable to forget that kind of traumatic event in our lives.

In this story it actually looked more like husband trying hardest to make the wife to try and get his forgiveness, but as I say, I can forgive but I can never forget... And there lies the key statement, the wife in your story had 0 clue as to what she did wrong , she didn't feel remorse or regret for her actions, she only felt sorry for husband finding out about her planed premeditated emotional and physical infidelity, which nearly lead to wife getting rapped, and it would have been all her own fault.

I enjoyed this story overall but for a few minor details. In her texts Sharon steadfastly defended Bob when Luke insulted him. Therefore Bob did overreact a smidgeon after reading those texts. He assumed that she was planning to enter into an affaire or was already in an affaire with Luke. Sharon did lie by omission and direct falsehood however. In that regard Bob was justified in his distrust. In stories like this I am happy to see a salvageable outcome when it is appropriate. This ending is far preferable to the alternate ending as well. Thank you for writing.

Your helping of common sense for the day

.....but mine in my real-life contest for my wife and my marriage weren't any better, nor more successful. Your story brought up some thoughts that hadn't occurred to me 20 years ago. But when I brought them up, I was devastated by her answers.

I filed for divorce Monday afternoon. I should have done so 20 years ago.

Excellent first effort. Yeah, there were things but we aren't Hemingway here. Keep after it and don't let the BTB brigade bring you down.

Looking forward to more if you have more stories to tell.

I gave yo five stars for both chapters and you should stick with this category. No more sci fi and stuff like that.

Now back to story. It was nice for starters,but I didnt like the part where he took some of the blame. Sure he was working a lot,but he was suporting his family. He never cheated. On other hand she cheated on him and it could be a lot worse.

I really dont know who sends his wife to LINGERIE PARTY !!! She is your wife and only you should see her like that.

Well...I said it all in the subject line. I never did follow orders or do forms well. Hope you got it all..

And not just literally.

think long======think wrong, TK U MLJ LV NV

Have any of you been in a conversation with a woman where she is shameful of her actions and expressed apology while crying tears? No? Me neither. If caught, women will deny or play down the visuals. Or they simply express indifference to your indignation.

Face reality, women don't decide to leave their husbands lightly. Unlike men, women make serious investment in their men in order to ensure that the limited number of children they can potentially have end up with the best genes and economic support. Men on the other hand, can spread their seeds far and wide without care and therefore cheat more often. When women decide whether or not to leave their husbands, the agonize for a long time, often with tears, and often alone and in silence.

When they do decide to cheat, they don't cheat like men cheat. They are consummating their decisions, because there is no going back. The tears are over. They won't apologize, and you won't see them hang their heads in shame. You should be the one doing those things, begging them to come back to you.

Because this certainly is closer to fantasy than real life.

Thanks for sharing.

At least it didn't turn out in divorce. That's always good.

5 *'s

Now on to swingerjoe's conclusion.

A Manly Man story...husband defending the home. HUA!

....at the end with the new office and assistant! Loved it!

A fun read with an appropriate "moving forward" resolution IMHO.

Thanks!

story

She cheated period, no if, and, or butts. Divorce her it is that simple.

I hate the anon comments and assholes that say "she thought about cheating...burn the bitch!" Do any of you live in the REAL world????? People consider a lot of things when they are depressed, stressed, sad, happy, introspective, manic, hyper and any other mood you wanna mention. Entertaining a thought is NOT the same as actually putting the thought into action.

I read your story after reading an alternate ending someone else wrote for it. Yours is much better. You write a good story because this is real, and happens every day. Sadly more often than not it ends the other way. I do question why you and most every other author on here tend to use drugs to seal the conquest as 99% off the time that isn't the case. Every thing else leading up to the finish is spot on.. I give you a 5, but I'm just a guy who reads these.

I liked it but, no married woman would do this unless she was thinking about cheating..

I mean she even knew about the room. And wore a date dress.

Excellent story! Very readable and has a 'real world' feel to it. I'm not a BTB type but I do believe the guilty party has to bear the consequences of their actions. In this story you have struck a good balance. Thank you. I'm now going to set about reading the rest of your stories.

I'm normally a BTB fan, but this was a great ending to the story. Well earned 5*

Well written and totally believable. I love the $50 a month in the guys commissary account for the guy who beat up Luke the scumbag.

Nice happy ending

Excellent story. Really enjoyed both parts. Don't mind a reconciliation when it is deserved.

Hubbie lays down the law and saves the situation but there doesn't seem to have been much self-awareness and mutual understanding on the way. Fear of consequences isn't a great way to hold a marriage together.

LA

I started reading with some concern, because I needed it to end well, and thankfully it did! It worked out well and was a good read. I NEED happy endings, and you did well!

My kind of story. The tension and angst that make LW stories compelling. Too many LW stories do not have the confrontation -- but Bob did not back off or avoid. They worked things out -- I like happy endings. (Do not be afraid of reconciliation stories. They get hate comments, but there is a niche market of us who like them. I suspect the ratings for them reflect this more than the comments.)

This is a first effort? Wow. Way ahead of most stuff on this site. Good to see you're still submitting stories.

Thanks, man

Paul in Oklahoma

You have an excellent writing style and a wonderful grasp of character. I would have liked to see you play up Sharon’s remorse a bit more. She has a child which she shows no love for in the story, this seems incongruous and unlike a good mother. Showing her fear of losing her daughter’s future affection as well as her husband would have been an interesting insight into her character.

Where I hang My Tony Abbotts (Speedo swim pants,...Dick Togs,...Budgie Smugglers)....Where was I..Oh Yeah!....Where I come from.. The court sends You on a Lovely Vacation for 10-15yrs for what He did!....As for Him getting the number Two's kicked out of Him!....Just Plead emotional Insanity and You could get Father of the year award!....Shoott You might even get The P.M. apologize for being mistreated! ....Anyway I Loved the Story. ..★★★★★ WOOF!

This two story series is as good as anything in LW. I like to read them every few months just to enjoy them again. Just great writing.

what about the "video"

everyone kept mentioning it, seems to be good evidence of either the selfish dumb wife lying, or the sleazy cowardly rapist getting some dirty dancing.

Were there more women like Vici, there'd be less cheating and fewer divorces. Nipped in the bud!! Had she had her night with the asswipe and his friends, she would have been hooked/blackmailed, with no way out except confessing, which would surely lead to divorce. 5*s.

I agree with anon 11-6-18 who asked about the video. Bob saw the texts referring to it, but it's content were not explained. Plus Bob never brought it which I think initially was the right play. He needed assurance that she was done lying and misleading him and to prove herself she was to be totally honest and tell Bob everything including things that she thought he would not like to hear. One would expect her to reveal all about the video and she failed to do this. She cannot pretend to have forgotten something so serious, therefore this is a new lie of omission after being caught and read the riot act of no more lies. The story doesn't tell if he copied all her texts to and from asswipe but Bob was smart enough to find the texts and smart enough to realize their significance as to whether he was to try and salvage the marriage so I'm thinking he had a copy. A good time to have brought up her lack of mentioning them would have been during the lie detector test. Seems to me like she's still not 100% truthful & I not yet sold on reconciliation being the best option for Bob. Good story & I did enjoy it but there is this little hole, was the video of her dirty dancing with her slipping panties in asswipe's pocket and the author just forgot to wrap that up?

Ahahura is quickly becoming a favorite writer. Keep writing!!!

Good

I thought the husband was smart in this series. Rather than the unrealistic "i become a super spy" kind of BTB tale (i enjoy those to sometimes) it was more realistic about defending the relationship which he valued. The wife was also smarter than a lot of the stupid-bitch stories where the level of nonsense is so unrealistic (but fun also at times).

Thanks for giving us this story and showing how it doesn't always have to be the extreme. Hope to see more creative-entries from you in the LW category.

With a very good ending. I think, unless some other writer’s “alternative” ending involves Luke having his nuts cut off and stuffed into his mouth, I don’t see how anyone’s going to top this ending. Again, nice job.

...at how cuckish this husband is. She probably still has the guy's droppings in her mouth and hubby is getting all sappy over her.

His tough guy stance does not square with his softness during Vickie's big reveal. On the other hand, once he confronts wifey he is smart about it. Then later after the hotel incident he has returned to his spineless self.

Maybe the problem here, as written, is that his personality is uneven. Hearing Vickie the very first time should have been some krakatoa shit outa him - but no, he is making excuses for her. Very cuckish and annoying.

Nonetheless, the writer definitely has talent. Thank you.

Excellent!! I really liked both parts of the story. It was a happy enough ending and I feel it was appropriate for the story line. I will definitely read more stories by Ahazura.

100 % great.

That 50 a month in the prison commissary account.

One of the very best stories ever in LW.

Good narrative and conclusion

Should of given 4&1/2 stars