All Comments on 'Zingara - Being Finn'

Everytime I look at this the illustrations become messed up in different orders... there are four illustrations I am not sure what is going on with teh third page and I am trying to get it fixed :( So sorry everyone.

Just doesn't succeed on any level. All around fail.

Brings the novels of Sherrilyn Kenyon to mind. There is a peculiar mix of different legends at play in this, some I know, some I don't and probably some you came up with. Looking forwards to the rest of this. Good job.

Are the Illustrations your work or another's? Give credit (to whichever) for good art work.

(critique)

Beginnings, are always tough. They are like giving birth in that the more you try to bring into the world at one time the more painful it can get.

There was a bit too much world building, exposition for a three page beginning. This part needed to carry nothing more than to bring the main character into frame. An introduction to Finn.

The names come across a little odd. I don't know if that is a regional name difference, a story effect that's part of the world building, or if they are historical.

Romani. Given that I'm married to a woman who calls herself The_Misplaced_Gypsy I've learned a fair bit about the gypsy culture over the years. They are an incredibly interesting people, who's desire to live life without restraint has lead them to many tough times. Bring them solidly to life in any story you use them in. It can add an enormous weight of storytelling mystery to the tale.

Again, good job.

MST

I enjoyed reading this and would be interested in the rest of the story. The beginning was overwhelming in some areas, but once past that point, you fell into a nicely paced story. Need some help with spelling here and there, but otherwise a good start.

I enjoyed this and look forward to more.

*smiles*

A very interesting start to what i am sure will be a wonderful tale. Spelling errors and a few missing words here and there aside, i enjoyed how you have started building this world. i look forward to your next chapter as you lead us into Finn's world. As always, i am thankful that you make the conscious effort to clue your readers into the basis of your stories and if they should expect or not expect to find erotica in certain chapters. First chapters should be for character building and setting the scene, and you have done that well.

It was overwhelming and just right! It seemed to fill what would have be open questions in other like stories. But yet I feel complete. That the chapter was a stand alone. Of course I want more more more...yet there was a closure met on the part of Fin's life.

But....if they still do not know about her and it is her father that they continue to hunt why would her want her to go with him for the long haul?

Love me some 12 tables and the amazing Bella now I will have to add this to list.

Great story, can't wait to read more.

Another great effort by one of my favorites. I loved the magical feel through to it.

This was a great start to what could be a fabulous story! I really liked the pictures also. Can't wait to read more, hopefully you plan to write more :)

Will there be another chapter. Can't leave it hanging like this.

This is an awesome start to what could be an amazing story line. Please continue it.

This is like watching a really great movie, and halfway through the power goes out and you never find out what happened! I really hope you will continue this story when you can. I'm hooked already! Thanks!

This could be an amazing story to continue, Ellie.

I love this story, and you as an author. Thank you for the magic and joy your writing has brought into my life.