All Comments on 'Zinger'

you seem to have the ease of a seasoned writer and you certainly show you have loved - maybe lost?

this is a sweet kind living story and grows on you in all the right ways. it grows on you for love, for laughter, for happiness, for life stories. well done and hope to read more from you :-)

That was beyond beautiful. You made my chest hurt! Thank you.

FBG

Wonderful and beautiful story. Happy, sad and tearful. Loved it! Really well written. :-) 5 ★

boring

What can I say but wow. For a first story this was amazing, it had everything in it including a happy ending which is what we would all like in our own lives.

This was an incredibly well put together story and I hope we are going to read many more submissions from you.

Please, write more, you have a great talent for writing.👍😃

Beautiful story...the end was so tragic in some ways but happy in others. Thanks.

Thank you. Beautifully written and incredibly erotic.

This was amazing. Never did I feel bored at all reading this, I actually cried when Teddy died. You're a very talented author and I hope to see more from you.

Your story made my heart hurt and brought tears to my eyes -both happy and sad tears. This is a beautiful story. I'll be looking for more of your work.

Usually just come on to read stories I can jerk off to but wow was this something else. Haven't bawled my eyes out to a piece of work like this one in a long time.

I can't even express how great of a read this one was except that I hardly ever comment just rate and add to favourites but this one needed a response.

This was amazing, your writing is amazing.

I agree with others I hope you also continue to write more and even if you don't this is definitely a story I'll be coming back to read from time to time.

Love your work.

As soon as Teddy stated to get sick I cried from then until the end. Absolutely beautiful story one of my new favorites, I really hope you continue to write more, maybe a sequel? Either way you are a new favorite of mine.

I really did cry when teddy Died! AMAZING job, thank so much For this wonderful, emotional story. THANK YOU.

This is an incredible story. I was intrigued by the little description but I wasn't expecting this. I'm still crying about it, both happy and sad but mostly of gratitude. You're truly a gifted writer and I sincerely hope you continue to do so, of course so that I can read it. I don't think it can be said enough, this story is beautiful so thank you for sharing it with us.

I have never written a comment before, but this story struck home. It was brilliant, special, sexy, real, and most importantly very loving. I am now a middle aged bachelor who wishes had acted on an attraction in middle school, he was a Zinger (with an earring, way too sexy and cool for words, you know the type always tan even in the winter of Pennsylvania). Alas will always wonder what could have been......

Great story. Not what I was expecting. Liked it's fullness and not being left wondering what might happen. I felt happiness and sadness all at the same time. Got lost in it,-was very blissful.

I only recently came out as gay and I have found that I enjoy reading gay erotic stories. I'm not going to make this a story in itself, however, I do need to make a serious comment. There was so many parts, I swear you were following my life. I know there are always stories where we can related to one character or another in the story, this was different for me. You see, I was both (Kevin and Teddy). My personal life was nothing like theirs, as far as professions goes. I was both. I felt and cried when Teddy lost his wife. The reason, I lost my wife of 40 years only seven months ago. I don't have twins, but I do have a son and a daughter and 6 grandchildren. Where Teddy lost his wife to cancer, I lost mine to complications from diabetes.

I also grew up in Missouri, now live in Utah and moving to Nevada in a month to be closer to my boyfriend, who soon will be my husband. So many similarities, where I lost my wife of 40 years, my boyfriend lost his partner of 30 years, just three years before. I can't thank you enough for writing this story, if I could have given it more stars I would have. Oh, there is only one difference though. Kevin and Teddy we able to see, I'm going blind, in fact I'm legally blind now. I enjoyed this very much. Thank you.

The most well done story I have ever read on this site. Simply amazing

Beautifully written. One of the best stories I've read on this site. Well done!

I just want to say you are an amazing writer. The story is great. It made me tear up and feel sadness for Teddy and his crew. Kevin and the boys deserved to have a good ending and that is what they got. I have to say you did an awesome job bringing the story to feel so lifelike. It is a great writer who can do that with their writings. You have made me a fan of your writings. Keep writing please. You made my imagination come to life while I was reading this story. Thank you for sharing this story!!!

ACLASSYLADY

Just wanted to say this story was amazing it made me smile laugh and cry all at the same time thank you for a great story

I read this stirring and achingly beautiful story first thing this morning. It has been on my mind all day. The tenderness with which it was written has me both grieving as if I lost a dear friend and bitter sweetly happy for those friends left behind as I realize life will go on. Well done. It is rare something from this site can move me to tears and contemplation.

a great read which developed as it went on. Great to see Teddy developing maturity and Kevin becoming a father. Sad the death of teddy was so soon after they got back together but it gave you a chance to bring back the two 'Ms' and Thom. Would be great to have a sequel although given how well everyone had integrated that could be difficult.

Please write another story though and allow it to expand as much as you want. You have a rare talent.

Wow. As soon as I read that Teddy was losing weight, I knew he wasn't going to last...and my tears started flowing. I sobbed, yes, sobbed when he passed away and continued through until the end. I've never felt so connected to characters as I have yours. I feel so sad and my eyes keep filling up with tears. There is this sense of loss and it won't leave me. You have weaved an amazing story and it is one I won't likely forget any time soon. Thank you for sharing your genius.

There are no words to convey how much I enjoyed reading and how moved I was by your story. So I hope these two will suffice. Thank you!

I cried nonstop the last two pages. I cried as I read all the comments. I'm crying as I write this. I'm around the age Teddy and Kevin were when they got back together, and while I'm happy they had their 18 months, I can't stop thinking about the 30 years they lost. Just ... our time on this planet passes so fast. When you reach this age, you start to have regrets.

Beautiful story. Keep writing. Can the next one not have a death, please? *laughs and cries at the same time*

what a whirlwind of emotion! This was one fantastic story. i cannot wait for your upcoming stories,

Thank you for sharing

I like many people don't come for the plot but a quarter way through, it was screw my original purpose this story is amazing and i just had to finish reading it. Didn't expect to cry at the death but evrerything was written so beautifully. Just simply incredible. Keep writing.

So many of the stories on here disappoint. This one more than makes up for that. I feel like I won the lottery. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for sharing this which I will remember for a long time.

I'm totally upset that teddy died. I don't really get upset on stories that I read here but this one hits the spot. There so many words I would like to say about this story but I thought it would just make me sad if I did.

It is a beautiful and touching story of hope even though it ends with one of them dying. Death is natural, the hope of renewing a passionate love after so many years of separation is a glorious happening. It's something that I'm sure many dream about. Your writing is excellent, you were able to keep me interested all through what was a long story. Please keep writing stories for this site.

It was one of the best stories I've ever read.

I've been reading stories on this site for awhile and this is the first time I've felt the need to comment. Very well done. Good character building and very realistic. Keep writing, I'd like to see more from you!

One of the most compelling gay love stories I've ever read! The characters were realistic and the pains natural to life were not made superficial but overcome by love. Thanks to the author for a supremely positive story of the triumph of love!

I've been in Literotica since it started. And this, hands down is the most AMAZING piece of writing I've had the pleasure to read. This deserves to be "book-published".. Fantastic. I was aroused, angry, excited, hopeful, sad, crying my eyes out, all over this magnificent tapestry. #1.. so perfect.

I have read many stories on here, some good, some not so good, but never has one which moved me as much as this one. Thank you.

You are amazing. Your story is amazing. Thank you for bringing this beautiful piece of literature into my life

That was amazing.. I fell asleep reading it. .woke up needing to read it.. I loved it.. please keep writing

Look at all the positive comments in only two days. I can't think of anything new too add, but I also think this is the best of the best. A wonderful, warm, heartfelt love story. Thank you for posting it and please continue with your writing.

I looooooooved it soooo much. It feels soo real and raw. Well done!!!

I've read many of the best stories on this site and I have to say this is my first time commenting. Ever. Not even on Timber Pack Chronicles, which is one of my favorites. This story resonated in my gut. It made me feel anger, happiness, lust, and excruciating sadness. I get so wrapped up in these stories sometimes it's easy to be upset when something doesn't go how I want it to. And I think the worst part is seeing life through the eyes of someone who, ultimately was happy in the end, but really missed out on the love of his life. Which to me is scarier than anything else. Living life without love.

One of the best stories I have read yet. The way Thom was brought in at the end was so touching and heartwarming.

So realistic too, I lost someone due to some bad circumstances back in 1973. We didn't have internet, email and cell phones back then. I hope to publish the first couple chapters of "Hot Cargo" before too long. It is fiction but based on truth.

A lovely storey... drawn in from the first few paragraphs... loved every line of it! Brought Joy, pain and hurt but also love and hope!

First time i have ever cried at a written story!

Thank you for a wonderful story. Enjoyed it so much

Really enjoyed this. Would love for you to continue it with Thom, you and the boys. 5 Stars for sure.

This was long but one of the best ever published on this site. The sex was hot as hell! (I stayed hard). The romance was wonderful. And both the happy and sad parts brought tears to my eyes. Deep emotion conveyed. You are a great writer. I hope you continue to post your work.

This was the definition of epic – a long heroic story of majestic proportions. It was all that and more. I started reading in the mid-afternoon. By and by, golden light slanted through the room as the sun began its setting phase. My dogs began to signal that it was getting close to their dinnertime. "Just a but longer," I told them, reading on faster. They began whining sometime later. "Hang on, not long now…" I explained. Then they started jumping into my lap, and pawing at me, "Okay. Just about there," I said. Uh-huh. I still had two pages to go. They waited. I read, unable to stop even for my beloved canines. That says it all. Amazing story, incredibly addictive writing, absolutely unputdownable. Bravo a thousand times. And thank you for sharing this great achievement, and your gift of writing. I am deeply grateful.

I rarely visit anymore, but I'm glad I found this great story. Sad, but beautiful at the same time. And hot too. :-)

So sad! Good story. Really good.

Having recently discovered this site, I am astonished at the talented story telling I am finding here. Zinger is one of the best I've read. So moving, it had me in tears.

In addition to echoing all the accolades already expressed for this wonderful story, I want to express my admiration for how real this felt. A prime example was the rejection by the older brothers. Then and there, I knew this wasn't a sappy romantic happily-ever-after excuse for masturbation fantasy, but rather a heartfelt tale of love, life, tragedy, and reality. Given my age, 47, and that I recently came out and have been dating someone for two years who has, fortunately, won a recent battle with cancer, so many aspects of this story reverberate with me. Thank you so much!

...and laugh, and smile, and clutch my heart. Again. Another truly brilliant, true-to-life story of love and second chances, and the possibility of more than one true love. I love it! Kudos to you!

Charming and sweet. Hot in the appropriate places.

There is only one word that can describe this story for me: "Perfect"!

Thank you for writing and sharing it!

Greetings,

Sebastian :-)

This story was beautiful. I was blown away by the descriptive writing. You truly painted a picture for the mind to pull together. Wonderful, had me in tears at times!

I use the following method to give appropriate, unbiased ratings of stories which are rated on a 5 Star Scale:

Y=1 point...YN=half a point):

OBJECTIVE RATING:

1- Compelling opening/hook? Y/YN/N -- y

2- Character(s) live/grow on page? Y/YN/N -- y

3- Interesting story/progression? Y/YN/N -- y

4- Satisfying conclusion or twist? Y/YN/N -- y

5- Well written and thought out? Y/YN/N -- y

INTANGIBLE/SUBJECTIVE:

X- Did I ever respond emotionally? Y N -- y

X- Is it a story I want to read it again? Y N -- y

Only one other story I've read on this/other sites achieved a perfect score of 5.

This one broke my scoring system, garnering a 7.

My ONLY issue (in what must be a thousand words) was "So, Costa Rica it was. We used Rosetta Stone and a private tutor to learn Spanish". That made no sense to me since the boys had lived/grown up in Spain and should already be fluent in Spanish. But the whole story is so mesmerizing this is easily forgivable.

Thank you so very much for sharing. This has become one of my favorite stories of all time (of any medium/genre) which I will certainly come back to, longingly, wanting to get caught up in reading again and again.

There are no words to adequately express how much I loved this passionate, romantic, perceptive story. This captured the vulnerability, lust, and fragility of love deeply shared. The urgency was beautifully written, as was all of this incredible story.

Thank You! I will never forget these people or their incredible journey. You are a passionate and gifted storyteller.

Never in my life have I ever been so emotionally wrecked. Like I'll get so horny then BAM! A crying mess then BAM AGAIN! Still crying but horny at the same time. I just love your work. One of my new absolute favourite.

I never expected this when I clicked on this story but this story will always remain in my heart for its bittersweet quality. I cried so much happy and sad tears and I'm glad I read this. Simply amazing.

I like this story for the thoughtful and sensitive way you navigate these issues. It is an emotional roller coaster that reminds us not to close our hearts in the face of loss and to keep faith in the "possibility".

An absorbing romantic story that dried my resolve not to be gay which unfortunately am not..

I am a straight female, & this was a great story!!!! Sad & romantic.

Thumbs up to you 👍very good story.... More!!!

I have stumbled across these stories looking for something else, but they turned out to be really nice could-be-life stories. I do not know whether they are fiction or not (this on is not - 2018!), but how they were written....This was my third one....And because of them I am neglecting my sweetheart... Fantastic stories! Keep on writing and maybe do some short fiction....

THIS IS WONDERFUL THOUGHT PROVOKING LOVER STORY AROUND TWO GAY MEN AND THERE LIFE TOGETHER .. I LOVED THIS JUST AS I LOVE ALL YOUR OTHER STORIES FANTASTIC MR PATRICK . JONATHAN XXX

I love your stories. You took me back to my youth when I fell in love with my best friend. I also lost him to cancer and he is buried in the Missouri hills. He was a cardinal fan and even got a cherished Cardinal ring before he died.(not from me) His son called it an engagement ring from the guy who gave it to him. Lol I now live in Idaho leaving great memories behind. I cried my eyes out at Zingers death as I did at my own friend...just too close to home.

I Loved "Wait for Me" as well and paralleled that story...so close. Thank you favorite author for a flash from the past! Great stories!

This story is so sad I'm literally crying right now no lie

DavidPatrick, when I first started reading stories on this site it was purely for purposes of hot torrid release of my horniness and a quick release of my own closeted desires. Then I started reading your stories....as another commenter said "unputdownable". You are my fav author in here and introduced me to good story telling on Literotica..I no longer come for quick tawdry stories for some release..You showed me there were also hot stories that were veery well written..with plot depth, real characters, familiar emotions. This was amazing. You are amazing.

Right now I'm drying my tears with a napkin, I was born in 1986 and my partner of 9 years has HIV...I'm terrified of him becoming sick or injured so part of this story hit home.

One of the most beautiful stories I ever read. I read it a while ago, but since your last story I decide to read several of your stories, and read this one a second time. It made me cry, I could feel the pain, the pain of the lost love, the pain of the family... You are amazing writer, congratulations!

Fantastic story, still wiping the tears from my eyes, there was so much of that story I loved, and saddened me too.... that after all that time Dork boy and Zinger were finally together as they should have been , were lost, sad, crule and great writing.

Thank you

I'm so glad I took the time to read this story. I was so happy when Kevin and Teddy finally reunited. Honestly I wanted to hate you for killing off Teddy but I couldn't. A truly wonderful story. Can't wait to read more of your writing.

FYI people, anonymously posting negative reviews like "boring" is chicken shit.

This was a beautiful story about second chances. Well done! And PLEASE do a sequel with Thom.

I loved this, I really did

Thank you for such a great story. I was not able to stop reading!

I can't believe I'm saying this but I will, in a rare selfless act: Don't give your writing away for free anymore. You will get published easily, and you should. Put all of what you have so far into an anthology and sell that first, then write some new stuff and publish a new book. It's that good. I've been reading literotica stories since 1999 and yours are the best by far.

I'm speechless. So good. But I have to agree with another commenter. Don't do this for free. You have more than enough talent to be picked up by a publishing house. And you deserve it.

please continue to post here. People do things pro bono publico all the time. We your Lit readers appreciate your work without the need for a price tag. We know how lucky we are to have you. This story is heartrendingly beautiful. I have read it repeatedly and love it more each time.

I've read this story twice now. I have cried twice now. I love this story even though it breaks my heart.

Too many chiasmi, though.

It felt like someone is residing his story in front of me... it was marvellous... Country like India is still fighting for its right & such stories are like a sunshine to us ...

It is such a love story that I could not stop reading it until I finished it.

Make Teddy come back!!! T__T

This is the most painful & most devastatintg love story I've ever read since Call Me By Your Name. I thought that I've been hurt before but no story has left me quite this sore sine CMBYN. I hate the fact that you killed the character Zinger who turned out to be "Teddy" at the end of the story because I was rooting for Teddy and Kevin and I'm very devastated because Teddy died (in a nice way).

Anyway, I love the story as a whole and I also love you as a writer. I've read your story 19th hole and I loved it. You've got the best of me.

What a beautiful story! So simply written, yet incredibly poetic and insightful. Amazing men and an amazing love! I'm in love with this story.

A simply beautiful love story! Well paced, and cliff hanging! But all the time, love surrounded the characters! Very well done.

Don

David,

Thank you for a wonderful story. There were so many sad parts in it--love that waited so long for consummation, death of much-loved characters, a family torn apart because of a same-sex love; but, there were also happy times--love finally admitted and acted upon, resolution of a torn family, a surprising revelation of long-awaited ability to declare love, and a promise of a continuing ability to have a family and love.

Your story was well-written. There was enough "story" to make it interesting, with time to develop the characters and allowing the reader to have empathy for each of them. And, there was enough explicit, hot sex to make it JO worthy.

Thank you for writing this one. I will look forward to running across more of your work. Keep writing!

Such a beautiful story. Longer than I normally like. But so engaging, that I didn't want it to end.

I fell in love with the characters. Literally smiling and at times crying as the story progressed. Would recommend to anyone.

Must be one of the best stories I read here so far. Full of raw sex AND raw emotions. So real. You had me on the verge of crying all along. Amazing.

A surprising story of two men brought together under unexpected circumstances but who deeply loved each other throughout their entire lives. Of course, there were heartaches and roadblocks - as in real life - but they weren’t due to infidelity or selfish choices or just plain heartlessness. While I wish their early romance had lasted at least through college and they had both tried to fight for each other more, they were young, separated by distance, and the times didn’t facilitate easy connection. So it was realistic how they floated apart. But after 30 yrs, their reunion was both realistic and spectacular. Despite their troubles with M&M and Melissa’s parents, their devotion and love endured. Teddy’s death was hyper-sad and tragic, but love bound Kevin and the boys (and Thom) together, tethered them to Teddy’s memory and EQ h other, and allowed them all to forge forward to a new and unexpected HEA. Kudos on a wonderfully-written story.

This was simply beautiful. It was well written and well thought out. You are a natural for this kind of thing. Keep it up! And, thank you.

So this was an amazing story!!! I had to stop reading for a couple of hours when I got to the point where Teddy was dying. I just could simply not read through all of the tears and I had to sit back and actually think about whether or not I wanted to finish the story. I loved the characters (mainly Teddy and Kevin) so much that when Teddy died I honestly didnt know if I could finish or even really wanted to. How could a story of fiction have affected me so much. I dont know if I can read more of your stories. I've read multiple and all have had me feeling some type of way and was left feeling lost and empty after finishing. As sad as this story has made me, you are a fantastic writer, so thank you!!

I’ve read this story twice now. The 2nd reading was to savor it slowly and truly digest what it meant to me. I know it’s fiction, but I got wrapped up in the characters, and shed a few more tears along the way. It made me take another look at my personal life and my marriage to my husband and realize (once again), that the love I have shouldn’t be taken for granted. “We are such stuff as dreams are made of...” Life is short. Smell the roses. 5 stars.

I’ve read this twice now, a good few months apart & able to piece more together this time round. An excellent piece of work, I love how there’s a story & not just hot sex. I’ve not cried like I have over any other piece of fiction & I believe it’s due how close to a real life situation this could be.

You’ve a tremendous amount of ability to write & to make it believable. It’s also possibly close to a lot of readers lives in a missed love kinda way.

I severely like a helluva lot of other stories on here….. But, I Love this One!

I have read this story over and over more times than I care to admit. It is in the top five of my favorites. It has the right level of balance between love story and sex. I personally enjoy the love story more. Thank you for posting it. Stephen S

What an outstanding story. This could be made into a screenplay for an excellent movie. Author should try and submit! I KNOW I will read this again, I have "favorited" the author and I am about to start reading the rest of his submissions!!

Great stories

Just commenting to show my appreciation. All the praises have been said by others.

My this captured me deeply. I was enthralled in this. I laughed I cried I took away some meanings. Fantastic.

Omg it was so sad

I love your slow and thoughtful stories. They feel like real life, the twists and turns, and I’m so glad I found them. Thank you for this gift.

Your writing offers so much hope and give so much love. Thank you for this!