All Comments on 'A Slave to the Servants Ch. 15'

DW told me that in the rush to get this chapter submitted on Sunday morning of the holliday weekend she forgot to include the "Thank You" for your votes that have put her at the top of the Sci-Fi All Time List that she had planned. She promised to include 1 in the comments as soon as she can though.

We can't wait to see how you the fans will recieve this offering.

Well, after the editor anyhow. Very good chapter :) I'm excited to see little Hannah grow up! Also, not sure the false masters got everything they had coming to them, but if Hannah is strong and well and turns out to be as AMAZING as I expect then woot! I guess the other guys can be allowed to live.

It's very interesting that female Paterian babies are born with their mother's and to a lessser extent their father's memories. Jean M. Auel did something similar with The Clan of the Cave Bear: the Cro-Magnons, like modern humans, had to exhaustively think about and learn things from scratch, while the Neanderthal race was born with generations of memories. However the trade off for being born knowing everything is they lacked to a great extent the ability to innovate and think about things differently. That lack of mental agility cost them, in the book. I like the twist you put on a similar concept here. I also like that the last two chapters have been devoted to moving the plot along...but I hope that down the line, unlike what happens in some relationships after babies, Ciara and her men get to rekindle their sexual relationship!

well it seemed my comment didn't get put in so i'll do it again..lol

i totally loved this chapter, i can see that Hannah will be a kick ass Woman with Damien's looks and characteristic, but i do feel heartbroken for Ciara to have such a short time with her daughter, being a mom myself, i could not have my son in my life, *grins proudly* He is my baby and always will be..lol Great work Hun!

Donna.

Damian has a daughter. I wonder if Paterian women even acknowledge their male breeder. Most Paterian men have never even seen a female child, much less their own offspring. I wonder how Damian and his brothers feel about her.

I am so glad those tutors got what they deserved!

I am in love with this story, if it could be bound into a book and sold I would buy it. I can not believe everything that has happened in just 15 chapters! It's exciting, sexy, well written and has been addictive from the very beginning. Actually the writing progressed since the beggining and with the editing it's become amazing. Anyway I think it's kinda sad that Ciara isn't bound to the men anymore, I loved that they could care for all her needs so easily and really understand her feelings through the bond. What girl wouldn't love to be taken care of so well by five hunks? Whatever though, any twist in the plot you pull always works out smoothly and keeps things interesting! You've really created something magical with this story, I hope it goes somewhere farther than just being on literotica. I want to see this story as a movie...

ugggg, i'm trying to decide whether i like this chapter or not. i think what has me really sad about this chapter is the fact that damien and his brothers cannot bond with hannah. i know i'm looking at this from a human's pov, but i can't help it, i AM human. so to me, i was hoping the men would get a chance to feel something besides indifference towards her. i'm a mother and i can't imagine not being able to look into my child's eyes and not feel love or see love in her eyes when she looks at me. the other part that bothers me is the fact that they can't touch her, not even accidentally, without the threat of death hanging over their heads. that is going to take some tightrope walking on all of their parts. i'm really scared for them. oh plese dw, don't write that kind of scene in this story. that would break my heart......jeez i'm such a crybaby. but something that i do like about this story is now their bond is broken. i'm sorry but i saw it as dangerous to them so i'm glad that element is gone. (now watch you write it back in). ok, so now i'm done, but i love this story so much. i wish i had your gift dw. keep up the great work!

I love the way Christof got on the heated rock to support her during child birth and I hated that Hannah hissed at her dad and that they are not allowed to touch her. I look forward to the next chapter and am sure everyone will love it as well. I can't wait for you to post it. LOL

Well i am sure that Hannah will be stubborn about doing her own thing, she is after all a product of 2 species.. she has has a while to swim thru mommy's thoughts and form the start of her personality. Once her survival instincts of being birthed and cared for start to wane i would think she will start to deviate from the "normal" women's expectations..

Even greater to see Rue and his brothers get their just~desserts! I am curios if Hannah is partly linked to her mother? Since Hannah is like the women on this world but also like Ciara, would she not see her mother's mind as well? Also, maybe this insight she is seeing will give her daughter some of the missed lessons!

I neglected to say THANK YOU to all the generous fans who vote every time. I intended to be the first or second comment, but no luck there! Thanks to all who've made this series so successful. I love writing for you all! DW

I am sadden that Damien and the boys cannot bond and fully enjoy the feeling between parent to child. I am sure they would of loved it. I wonder if the child will change her mind about men as soon as she grows up.... since she is part human.

Great story as always. Can't wait for the next one. I'm glad Rue (or Runen) and his brothers got what they deserved.

Please right quick :)

Please keep writing, I always enjoy the day I find a new chapter in this saga and check back frequently until I find one.

When i first started reading this i wasnt sure if i was going to like it as it seemed so different, then suddenly im attatched to all the characters, and now I love this series, its well written and so original, and get so excited whenever a new chapter is added. I want more more more!

lovely!

I see I had some elements wrong after all. it IS good to be surprised.

Not sure how to feel about the inclusion of this total mind control element. I wished it had some constraints at least. It's bound to get abused by women, especially those that like to grab people from the men compounds. It feels wrong that they wouldn't use this ability if they have it. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Still hoping there's a kind of voluntary bond between the females also, maybe between 'sisters' when they find each other?

Will be interesting to see how the girl makes use of her human dna parts :)

Hope she'll take her mom around for some of her exploration trips later on, hehe.

(P.S. find a new tag-line for your 'part two' of the series?)

love want more want more!!!

It seems like something profound would happen if the men were to touch Hannah...I am dying to know what that is! Will we find out?! (Without harm coming to the men of course!). I have no idea where this will go and that is why I love this story so much! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Simply amazing. I've loved this story from the beginning and continue to do so. The progress of the storyline is exceptional.Most of my thoughts are posted by other users.CONGRATULATIONS DW on an excellent chapter, can't wait to see where you take us next

Im so happy! The last couple chapters, i thought were pretty blah:/ but this one makes up for it! The birthing was pretty much beautiful and I am just super ecstatic. Thank yoooou! (and ps: my favorite thing is that u upsate when u say u will! Lovelovelove it!!)

I agree w/ the comment that the last couple of chapters have just been ok, but I really liked this one. I had already guessed about the in-utero learning, so wasn't suprised. However, I was a little suprised that Ciara named the girl. I would have thought she would ask Nuh-ree to, to ensure her daughter had a "strong" name. That would have made much more sense, along with pleasing Nuh-ree

You are truly talented...

Wow!!

*****

nice to have all the loose ends tied up. slight disappointment that christof wasn’t hannahs father.

pity the labour was so short, would have loved to have seen how the brothers would have coped with many hours of labour pains.

as the families of rue and runen enjoy causing damien and his family problems as well as thinking themselves better than anyone else and with them having similar names, are they related?

as the babies have a connection with their fathers and their mothers, while in the womb, does that mean that the women have an even stronger connection with their men while pregnant?

it has to be asked....with evan being affected by the moon, does that mean that hes a lunatic?!

is the warning to the men about keeping away from the baby more for their protection? she could so easily inject them with her venom via a bite?

shame part one is coming to a close, but looking forward to part two. new title perhaps being......daughter of a slave to the servants? from hannahs point of view? interesting to see how she’ll fare, will her paterian or human side win?

fingers crossed for another high entry in the sci-fi fantasy hall of fame :0)

ok so the start of the series was amazing but in the middle everything fell flat i just wish it was more than them living in the mountains fighting with other males... I honestly skipped the last 2 entries you did please throw a curve ball bring back the exciting fun story it use to be. I do want to add youre a wonderful writer and i will keep reading your stories just add a pinch of crazy fun ;)

i had a feeling it was going to be Damiens lol but plz dont stop yet i absolutely love this story!

I have read your other story and it was amazing! I really love this one too! I think the dynamic of the relationship between Ciara and her masters is amazing. I am worried that something is going to happen now that she isn't bonded to them anymore. Please don't make me cry again!! I am begging you, I don't think my poor little heart could handle the pain! This is a great story, please keep it going for a while, you make me look forward to Wednesdays again. ô¿ô

I loved it!

Your characters are still developing layers! I love it!

Daddy Damien! Did I spell it right?

Keep it coming!

You have built such a complex world as the background for your story. I am really impressed. I spent all day catching up on the chapters so far & I am looking forward to the next one!

i figured it was damien! loved this chapter...this story is so good it needs to be published, seriously!!

this is at par with the elvenbane series i've read....shop for a publisher if you don't have one yet....this is so good...

Been reading this series for 3 days already in between work, sleep and eating time. First sci-fi fantasy I've read that sparked my interest. Maybe not sparked... More like inflamed. Lol. Waiting and hoping for a short waiting time for the next chapter! Keep up the exemplary work! =) sooo sooo love your story! And yes, i do agree- this should seriously be published!

I'm loving this storyline. No matter what direction this goes in it is as young as Hannah. I would like to see the story follow Hannah as she could be the "Queen Bee" somewhere in the future. I agree with some of the others this could be a book and maybe an HBO series someday. Thank You very much.

I absolutely love this chapter! You continue to amaze me with your originality. I am so anxious to learn what you have in store for Hannah. I am sad there is no longer a bond between them, though. A very intriguing aspect of the story. Thought the birth was well done. How sad to think the dad(s) will never get to hold their little girl. . .not that many little girls hiss at their daddies!

I can't tell you how much i enjoyed this chapter. I have to echo the others who have validated your writing skills. You could definitely put this into publication. Can't wait for future chapters.

Love it DW...waitng for next Wednesday already!!

AWESOME DW!!! CANT WAIT FOR MORE ABOUT HANNAH AND CIARA

You're are such a great writer! Thank you for sharing your stories.

I really enjoy all of your stories. I think you should publish this as soon as your done. You're such an amazing writer.

loved it as always :) poor Ciara that she has to give up her daughter so early and I feel sorry for Damian that he's never gonna hold his child :-/

The men can't touch Hannah, but what if Hannah touches one of them? H-m-m-m... I too wanted to see Damien as a daddy, and the other brothers cooing all over Hannah, but my trust in you is implicit by now DW. You are a great storyteller and where you lead I eagerly follow. No regrets yet!

I rate this story right up there with JazCullen's stories, DoctorWolf!!!! This is the first SyFy/Fantasy story that just blew my mind, to the point that I started it last night and just finished with this chapter. Now you've got me wondering how you are going to finish up your story of Ciara/Damien/Bane/Evan/Kein/Christof, along with Hannah....the wheels in my head are running so much, I have smoke coming out of my ears!! LOL!!!!! Please post soon....thank you!!!!!!!!! :)

LOVE SCIFI. AND YOU ARE A GREAT WRITING. KEEP THE STORY GOING. AND I THINK HANNAH SHOULD LOVE HER FATHER(S).

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this series thus far. If it were published I wouldn't hesitate to purchase it. Your development of the characters is wonderful as you weave your page turner. Please, keep the chapters coming! I am anxiously awaiting news on how Hannah grows and interacts. Hopefully she will bring new twists as a "hybrid" child.

I am really enjoying all of your stories!

I thought for sure the Daddy was Evan! Is Hannah going to grow freaky fast like the Twilight baby?

The Why's and How's will always be subject to tradition.

Hannah will grow quickly in order to be able to seek her own sisters.

I've been reading through this story over the last couple days. The level of detail about the culture and this world, and the way you slowly reveal the information so that it is almost like a mystery reminds me of Star Trek. I've seen a few typos spread throughout the chapters; like where it should say we and instead says be. I'll try to make a note of where they are for you. I'm glad for the plot twists, otherwise this would have become way too repetitive. Overall I have enjoyed it very much.

rereading it all,loving the story

thank you so much DW xxx. wish i could vote again for every chapter!!! :)

and congrats to you too DW!

I'm afraid your proofreader has missed rather a lot of things. I am still enjoying this, though.

For some reason I also thought the baby would be Evan's though I hoped it would be Cristoph's. Anyway, well done once again. I was hoping Ciara would keep a small connection to her guys but still, very good chapter, the details of the story and explanations of their nature and behavior are wonderful. Little Hannah is a piece of work though... all that screeching! She gets on my nerves! :D She makes me want to say: Use your words girl! Inside voice! Hahaha. Good story.

Ok, you got me this time... I was sure the baby was going to be Evan's. I can understand as well why Damien was picked, being the leader. Hell I almost hoped more than one came out of her. Ha ha. But something is.still untold... So onward I go! Still enjoying every bit of it!

So I'm really glad I've kept reading in spite of my initial trepidation in regards to the slavery story line. I am enjoying it immensely. :)

I have waited until this chapter to comment (although I have voted along the way) because I am so disappointed that Ciara lost her connection with her men completely!! It was my favorite part thus far just because it was the proof that, in their own way, they loved her. Although they're still showing it, the bond was amusing and I have fear that, eventually, somebody will hurt her! Only one way to find out...keep reading!

I am absolutely loving your story (finally one with a plot!), and I wish I had found it earlier so that you wouldn't keep me up all night reading! Great job!

Narrowing the men down was obvious since some don't like the vagina. And if the women have a bond with the men, then they already know that Ciara bonded with the men. As to Rue and his brothers, they got what they deserved.

Yes, there are some mistakes left after the proofreading but judging that he doesn't do a good job disregards two things -- we don't know how the story is when he gets it and, I am sure, the plot moves along so well and is interesting, my mind almost skips over the ones that remain -- and I have worked as a professional proofreader and been called obsessive about the need for correct grammar, spelling and word usage.

I even failed to vote on the last chapter because I was too excited wanting to get to the next chapter. But I have to stop for now. Savor the pleasure of reading it slowly.

Thanks for such a good series. I agree with two of the other comments with I thought it woul be Evan's baby but am equally happy that it's Damien's child. I too wish she still had a small bond with her Men. I'm commenting as I read so some of this may come out in later chapters but I'm really enjoying the plot. I also have to say that I have not voted or commented on any story as much as I have on this one. You are my favorite author on this site. Well done....so far. Lol

Let me preface by saying I've found this one of THE most interesting reads I've ever encountered on Lit. That said, I'm a dominant male (an active & practicing Master) of Gorean bent and the last few chapters have made squirm. To my personal philosophy, feminine dominance is the antithesis of my essence & character. It is a testament to the author's astounding creative ability and story execution that has me hooked. I'm in this for duration. You are a gifted author - thank you for bringing your story to us.

I'm awake all night again reading your amazing work. Insomnia can be good lol!

I thought that Christof would be daddy - I was surprised. I want her to be more bonded with Hannah and the family - its sad she lost that.

I'm off to read more, if I can keep my eyes open.

Thus far, I love the way you develop your story, DW....you are so amazing! Wish I could get to know you personally....your mind and your ability to weave complex situations - I love every moment of them through your writing....and I would just read and read into the night wanted to know more....even when I have to study for my GRE....just wanted you to know how compelling your writing it...I truly hope it will get published into a book, and made into a movie....dont know how the sex would be handled but it's a natural part of your story....Best...NH.

this is the best story I have read in a while! The hours just fly by when I'm reading this story and it captures my mind and pulls me in. I feel like I am actually there experiencing the things they are. Thank you for this wonderful read!!

I am an old man, 71 to be exact and find your simplicity in chapter naming to be extremely annoying for such a great story teller!......just the damn number changes..have to go back and reread to figure where last read, lets see...... story title ....chapter/section ..... at least tease the reader with ...... some type of title.

When I buy a book it has several chapters, they don't have different titles.....

Perhaps that's why I don't see the problem...?

I don't really care too much about this issue, but Literotica gives you the ability to add chapter descriptions. When these are used to describe the contents of the chapter rather than the overall story (and just repeated each chapter), it's easier to figure out where you left off. This is useful when stories are only published periodically.

I’ll start by saying I haven’t ploughed through the other comments so apologies if my thoughts aren’t new to you.

1. The Stars and Moonrise

This had me really confused because you said ....

“I thought about the moon on earth, it hadn't been nearly as predictable. The sun was useful and we timed our days off of that.”

It’s easy to determine the dates/phases of the moon 🌑 🌒 🌓 to calculate dates and times. Tidal patterns are calculated that way. We really don’t do things much differently than what you submitted regarding moonrise on Pateria. So that along with the positions of stars seasonally to work out complex calendar systems. Humans have been crossing oceans using the sun, moon and stars to chart locations as well as determining the best times to undertake these voyages.

Sorry for nitpicking, but astronomy is one of my interests.

2. Giving Birth!

OMG!! If only it was that frikkin’ easy! I really could have used that stuff when I had mine....*sigh* the benefits of imagination.

3. Collective Memory

Somebody else must have pointed this out, it’s a brilliant plot development tool and has been used by other authors, notably by Jean M. Auel with the “Earth’s Children” series. In that instance it was Neanderthal’s who were born with a collective memory and only had to reminded how to do something by showing them once. The trade off was incredibly minimal creativity which is something possessed by the humans.

4.Evolution?

Well is that what you’ve got going on with the plot from this point on? Looks like it 😉. Why not humans are still evolving, we’re not just homo sapiens nowadays, humanity was reclassified a while back, now we’re Homo Sapiens Sapiens....despite the drawbacks we frequently experience. Like ‘crowd mentality’ or politicians...