All Comments on 'Commando at the Waterpark'

This bizarre POV take made it difficult to read, distracting from the attempt.

^^ I've written most of my stories like that, especially when it involves my wife that I identify as "you", as if she was reading it. Any other character is 3rd person... I don't see what's so confusing in this

Great story. Tell us more about the day and these three characters

Fantastic story, man. I hope you continue it involving these two lovely ladies ;)