All Comments on 'Might Have Been Ch. 08: Conclusion'

Great story had me riveted for hours. 5 stars all the way

I read the 8 parts in one sitting great writing lots of depth kept my interest going all the way through. loved it

I read the original, too long ago to be sure what changes you've made. However, parts seem better than I remember.

Definitely worth a second read!

This was a different level of writing than most stories on this site. It was literature rife with allegory and well thought out themes of the meaning of love and regret. Thank you so much for sharing.

Keep writing, you're good!

I think it's belaboring the obvious to point out how well-written and, indeed, hot this series is. However, having just ended a Tasha-like relationship myself, I couldn't have asked for a better story to offer some perspective on my situation. Thanks for the unintentionally timely re-issuing!

One of the best selections I have come across in several years of lurking around this site. This storytelling has forced me to come out from the shadows (briefly) and give thanks to you and just say... BRAVO!!

From a man who grew up between lake Calhoun and lake Harriet. Great Job!

I am getting a few questions on what changed since the last version, so I thought I would clarify.

1) Huge overall polish. Word choice, rhythm, phrasing. I loved the story. My expectation is that nothing here would be obvious from the memories of a read a year or two ago, but it should seem more crisp and sharp.

2) Themes. I fleshed out themes I didn't fully explore earlier - competing notions of infinity, dreams being part of identity, each encounter being a different type of romantic conflict, etc.

3) Characters. I added more backstory to Dave and Sarah.

The biggest changes were to chapter one, which is about twice as long as original. Chapter eight was also heavily re-written to emphasize some facets of Lance and Sarah's relationship.

Thanks again for reading. I am very gratified by the reception to this story's return.

for sharing such an intellectually and sexually stimulating work. I look forward to your next story. -Matt

The work you put into this is just amazing. I love the way you tell the story. I would like to know what happens to Lance and Sarah. Do they make it in life or is this just a re-do for Sarah. A follow on story line would rock. Thanks again and I appreciate all your hard work.

Enough said

You paint pictures with words the colors are bright the sceans have clarity and come to life without effort to the reader. Well worth the thousand words

I have no plans for a direct sequel, as I think the story is complete as is. That said, I love my characters and tend to bring them back in other stories or where they fit, sometimes in very small roles. I do have a story, partially written, which is set in New York a year later, with Lance and Sarah in supporting roles. It's currently collecting dust in favor or a different story, but I hope to return to it soon.

I started this yesterday and read every chapter. This is the best story I have read in a long time. You are a genius. Your mastery of the English language is unparalleled. I would love to know more about you. Can't wait to read the rest!

I saw myself in your world. Thank you

Thank You!

You never revealed the content of Lance's letter to Sarah.

I described the contents of the letter early in chapter five, shortly after their conversation in the parking lot.

My life to a "t." Your insight is only outdone by your knowledge of the english language and literature. As Lance has learned, so have I.

Thoughtful, imaginative AND sexual - brilliant!

You sir are a writing God.

You have a gift. Thanks for sharing it!

Loved it, keep writing. No pressure take your time.

This was a fuckload of reading for nothing.

I skipped from Chapter 4 to the end, and found the same sort of blahblahblah and then blahblahblah and THEN blahblahblah... No resolution,or maybe there was, and I was too sick of the overwrought look-at-me-i'm-a-writer: who CARES?

I love the writing quality, but this is extravagant bullshit.

Dude! Write a story, or label the shit as Novels and Novellas. This was fucking painful.

First story of yours I've read. Liked the "memento"- like structure of this piece. How many of us have wished for such a device? How wise of your hero to keep it! I am looking forward to reading more of your work. Thanks for your very fine efforts.

Not sure what the expectations of the comment from late last year were. Maybe just a bad day. Personally I think this is one of the best written stories on literorica. I'd give it 6 stars if I could.

I nominated this story for a clitoridesaward (http://clitoridesawards.org). If you like it you should add your nominations too so that it qualifies and becomes a finalist.

Irony, I want to join in the well deserved accolades you are receiving from your readers for this wonderful story.

"What Might Have Been" is a well-crafted example of both erotica and literature. I applaud your creativity and writing skills.

I look forward to enjoying the rest of your submissions.

This was of the best series I have ever read on this site, very well done if I do say so myself

….every so often one reads a story where the facts, the plot, the genre all play second fiddle to the telling of the tale, for in the telling lies the beauty of this tale, where neither the brilliance of the science nor the improbability of the fiction, or the eroticism of the coupling, nor the depth of language, or the weight of the literature, or intelligence of the discourse, or depth of understanding of the human psyche, nor the complexity of its plot distract from the simple, pure, ease and joy with which this story flows…

Awesome story. I can't believe I was turned on and introspective all at the same time. That's friggin unreal.

I can't words it enough how good this series is. I really can't. Any attempt at trying to highlight where I feel you went right (which was... umm... the entire thing?) feels poorly insufficient and woefully inarticulate.

The general awesomeness tag is a nice plus. Not to mention wholly deserved.

+1. Actually, screw that. +a number far greater than 1. Like 7.

Truly Great Writing -- character development, theme, plot twists, vocabulary and even, the basis of this site, eroticism all at a pinnacle rarely achieved anywhere.

It sadly reminded me of my own “Tasha” from whom I have indeed broken free of after way too much time, energy, and missed opportunities. Unfortunately there is no Sarah in my life to pursue and until I find her there is a huge void.

As a consequence, this story grabbed and held me like no other on this site.

You have the perfect script here for an excellent and witty movie with plenty of highs and lows and packed with great humour. Seriously I can see it on the big screen now. We'll done for a fantastically (is that even a word?) well told and brilliantly written story!

I loved everything about it! I loved the writing and your characters were off the chain funny, engaging, brilliant and gorgeously flawed.

I want to now read everything you've ever written. I bet even your grocery lists are intriguing!

Thank you for sharing your gift. :)

Long time Literotica reader here. Just wanted to congratulate you on an incredible set of stories. Easily the best that I have ever come across on the internet. Clever, thought provoking, compelling - and hot! I truly hope you continue writing and posting where I can find your work. Best of luck to you.

Comment before the last chapter; but was moved to comment earlier on chapter 5. My thoughts there still apply here; but as I am dismayed by how few comments you have, I want to encourage you to keep writing as this is a stellar accomplishment ranking with some of my favorite authors. BTW, the rewrite is worth every second you spent doing it!

Enough said. This is my first comment ever on this site, but your story forced it. Great writing. Please post more

Self-publish your work on amazon and quit your day job. Hire a maid and write your stories from the bathtub.

Sports bras don't got no stinkin' clasp numnuts.

Cute story...

I've lurked on this site for *years* and this is the first time I've been moved to comment. I even made an account so I can add you to my favorite authors.

I've spent hours reading the entire story & all I can say is that it is inspirational.

My (admittedly very large) working vocabulary doesn't include the precise word wor the infinity symbol, and I'm to lazy to backtrack or use Google to find it. I haven't read all of your comments, but I wanted to say that your use of infinity symbols as separators was inspired, and I was disappointed to discover that you didn't use them everywhere.

Thanks for the inspiring read. I'm not one to indulge in major literary pursuits, so many of your allusions were shallower than they could have been. Your use of Lewis Carroll references could have been expanded, too. I don't know if you're familiar with "Sylvie and Bruno", but that work (quite apart from being my favorite and containing some of his most interesting poetry) has several interesting discussions about physics, including a very prescient description of continuous free fall many years before humans managed to create a means to verify it.

What concerns me in reference to this chapter, though, is his chapter on time travel/manipulation. The device in question is a watch (the "Outlandish watch") that can temporarily send someone back in time as an observer (attempts to change events fail) and even reverse time (albeit in discrete steps, so that conversations remain interpretable even in their new-found unintelligibility.

(I forgot to mention, and restructuring this comment has become a labor which I a loathe to take the time to commit, but the entire structure of the book is based on the idea of looking at reality through alternate realities and making the best of the only reality we have. Carroll's many -- fairly useful, to those who are interested -- attempts to provide logical foundations for Christianity, which are scattered throughout the book, may offend some who read this site, but an author is a complete package, and this book is something that must be experienced. As another digression on Carroll's work, why no reference to "Jabberwocky" being placed in the looking glass, where one must "reflect" on things in order to make sense of them? I seem to be finding many more metaphors from Carroll's work than I thought. Time to log off and go to sleep, where my inspiration can be suppressed for another day...)

I have now waxed far more eloquently than I anticipated. I enjoy coming across someone who refuses to compromise in their use of their own language. I fear we are a very misunderstood breed, especially since most people don't appreciate the necessity of fighting for precision in language. Another Ambrose Bierce work, "Write It Right", is an informative read. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it was written in 1909. It feels that relevant.

Anyway, excellent work. I am pleased to have discovered your work.

Fabulous story line and wonderful foundational construct! I feel that given the mathematical need to describe the dual nature of particles with imaginary numbers, the rating system should be congruent with the story. I give it a 5+5j!

Very clever how you worked a twist into the end of each chapter. Loved it.

I can find any words that would do this justice. This was awesome. 10/10. You're a great talent and have a compelling plot in addition to great sex scenes. What more can I say?

Please keep writing.

My biggest critique is that this series is really difficult to follow. Parts of it seemed a bit long. In terms of plot, staying so long with the shrew was probably a mistake. But that was explained satisfactorily here in the last chapter.

I really like the last chapter and the resolution. The dialogue at times is simply brilliant. Five stars on this chapter!

Your work is amazing. Your prose is some of the best that I have seen on this site and your plot was excellent.

Hope you keep writing such wonderful tales.

I liked the idea of a multiverse that protected itself from major changes to the timeline by not allowing him to make changes that were too large scale. I have thought a great deal about the nature of time and the emergence of the universe from the singularity. This story made me think and had the added spice of Lances personal sexual voyage. Good work.

You have SUCH as strong talent - the narrator and all the key characters became real people. Your story is imaginative and (almost) believable. This story is unsurpassed on Lit !! Thank you for your wonderful effort.

I really enjoyed the story and was pleasantly surprised by the lack of typographical or grammatical mistakes. Great proofreading apparently. Thanks again.

You sir, have a rare talent. I sincerly hope it sees you to fame and fortune. You've displayed true artistry in the telling of this tale. My hat is off too you. :)

Can I borrow the array? :p

the approach on 'do-over fantasy' was better than other authors who seem very desperate on going back in time and amass a harem of women and ridiculous success on life and finances. this one is more subtle, fun, and emotional, and very, very smart, defying, averting and subverting tropes and cliches prominent in most 'do-over fantasies'.

And all your cumulative neglect was certainly worth it...to me.

I'm not so sure about the consequences of my own neglect

consequent to staying up reading it....Yaaaah, i am.

Was eager for an excuse to avoid grinding on that steel sculpture

that's sucking up my days. You generously provided it.

One of the best I've ever read. And was mind boggling. Great start - enthralled middle and an absolute superb ending. You. Must write a Novel soon. And hope you forward this story to a movie director. Loved it. Thanks for an exceptionally wonderful story.

I made it almost to the end before having the entire plot explained to me in only ten words:

"She was not my Might-Have-Been.

I was hers."

Thank you for sharing this wonderful creation with us.

Ok great story, made me laugh many times as it is brilliant and natural. I have been reading tons of stories, yes leaden ones by the dozen and am blown away by several writers but I had to give up my favorite author cherry to you for this opus cuz it hit all the brain spots.

Merci!

In a word, well one word would not do this series just. Truly you have made this man, who is rather oblivious to ways of the opposite sex, come to realise why women adore reading romantic novels. Captivating writing and storyline, and by Jove what enticing sex scenes; I must have read each line twice to savour all of the detail within (not just the sex).

A story that made my heart flutter and break on numerous occasions. I thank you for taking your time to share this wonderful tale of woe and joy.

And do appreciate the time & skill in weaving such an interesting read. Thanks!

This story was just on another level entirely compared to most other stories on this site. Fuck, This was simply awesome...just awesome. I never comment but this one deserved it.

What an absolutely amazing story! Not only did you create a group of memorable, deep characters, you pulled off a great, engaging plot as well. Also, kudos to you for writing a time-travel story so well-written and engaging that I almost completely forgot that I was reading a time-travel story! Thank you for writing and sharing this tale.

I really enjoyed following the personal growth of the main character, Lance. The lovemaking was hot, but the story was more than than just sexual exploits. Lance learned to rethink his approach to relationships, especially that "what might have been" is often "what can be." He also learned to take more personal responsibility for his own happiness.

This story has spurred me to include more character inner conflict and growth in my own writing. Thank you for a great story.

I just discovered this gem and must say that I have given quite a few 5’s over the last 10 years but I wish I could vote higher for this one. Extraordinary character development and excellent editing. I must now move on to all your other work.

I rarely comment. But this story is fabulously written. It is rare, perhaps even unique, to find a story that so perfectly balances humor and dark emotions, erotica and culture, crisp detail and a robust story arc, action, ellipsis and introspection, morals without moralisation...

Of course, as you clearly show, the great thing with written stories is that you can go back and change them, and it doesn't even take a resonance array. Please don't, not even a comma.

I'd like to reiterate all that anonymous of July 19 stated more eloquently than I can.

On top of that I'd like to commend your dedication to tying up so many potential loose ends so exquisitely.

Your tale provides me a lense to view my own life choices through and its interesting to observe the difference in its effect on my feelings with another fews years' experience.

So thanks very much for sharing.

This authors stories are simply the best on Lit.

And i haven't managed to get diddle-shit done for days.

Apparently the wide ranging neglect of mundane matters is a communicable malady and your stories are the vector..

Can i go to bed now?

It's the culmination of an experience like Groundhog Day, but with more sex and, thankfully, a lot less Bill Murray.

Nice way to resolve the whole thing, and clever as usual. Write more nerdy sci-fi smut!

Sad this series is done but probably just as well because I’ve been turning down IRL sex and human contact to binge on it. Love the reoccurring characters and butterfly effect theme. Reminds me of the Three Colors trilogy.

Witty, interesting and sexy.Thanks

Intelligent and witty. Fives all the way through

Excellent story. This series is the first I've read by you, and the knowledge it ties into to your other work makes me excited to delve into your backlog. Too bad it doesn't look like you have been active on the site for several year, I'd love to follow your work.

This series really made reflect on life. Like Lance I wish a lot of things in my past had gone differently. But I don't think I have many actual regrets. Getting a chance to redo all those years sounds like a self-inflicted hell. I love the resolution here and that Lance to see how all those people were. (Poor Crystal...) I would love to read a sequel or spin-off if you ever had an interest, but this works as a self-enclosed story too. Thank you for writing this.

The thought and care and talent (and time!) that went into this series was SO APPRECIATED, Ironiclaconic. Thank you!

The intelligence of the author shines in dialogue of every page. An exceptional story.

Your work should be the dictionary definition of sapiosexual. To say I am impressed falls ridiculously short. I hope you are still around and writing under another name.

Loved it. Thank you.

First serious story I've read on Literotica that did not make homophone errors. Peak instead of pique. Board instead of bored. Ad infinitum. Loved it intelligent, witty, compassionate and, most important, human.

One of the best I've ever read on this site. An absolute masterpiece. Please keep channeling that spark of genius inside you.

Second time reading this and liked even better this time around, which is saying something!

It’s interesting that you’ve redrafted it since my first read through, since now I don’t know if I prefer this version or if my impression has just shifted over time.

I remember one thing that always stood out to me before was not really loving the characters of Dave and Sarah. Particularly Sarah, since I just felt like she should’ve been able to empathise with what Lance and Dave were going through and one harsh email didn’t feel like enough provocation to cut him off forever.

I will say it makes more sense to me this time around though, given what a struggle the situation was for her too. But I still feel like Dave is slightly under served in the flash backs, and Sarah’s flirtation in the flashbacks with Lance felt a bit disingenuous too.

Other than that though, easily one of the best stories I’ve read on this site, and definitely worthy of publication!

Wonderful yarn!

I thought it had a troubled start but the writing and storytelling greatly improved in the later chapters. Congratulations.

I didn't think I was going to but,

**I enjoyed the damned thing**.

Thank you and please keep writing.

A wonderful, well constructed, and well written story. Thank you for your effort in its production.

Just wonderful.