by hotpepperfarmer
Finally, someone who can tell a good story and write it properly. Spelling, punctuation, paragraphs: perfect!
Doesn't get bogged down in superfluous sex-crap.
Agree with Anonymous in Canada about good standards, however, the story content in my opinion still needs work. Don't be discouraged though, you''ve got potential.
(One does have to wonder why some other so-called writers choose to embarrass themselves by producing all manner of excruciatingly poor writing and sick subject matter.)
I admire anyone who gives us the phrase, "...incessant days of chronic horniness...." And you're the first person I recall using, "detumescing," in a Lit story.
Some of your sentence might be a tad long by modern standards, especially in a story written to be read on a computer screen. There's no rule against long sentences, but the trend is towards shorter ones.
Congratulations on a very good first effort and thanks for an enjoyable read.