by SavannahMann
but the results were worth the wait. Keep going, Bravo!
I was thrilled to see another chapter posted, and must agree that it was worth the wait - although I'd rather not wait so long next time!
Wonderful job on this chapter!
The waiting is tourture but so worth it. I can not wait for the next chapter, and the chapter after that. lol. please keep up the good work.
for another well done chapter. I'm impressed with your set of characters; each one different and each expressing the differences that make people so wonderful. Excellent! Thank you for the effort.
That I only just found the Vassal Academy so I haven't had to wait chapter by chapter. For a while it frustrated me a bit that you didn't go into, or glossed over the individual's feelings and emotions, especially Devons. But I'm totally hooked now, great plots you follow and all very arousing as well as instructive.
Cheers.
Your fluid storytelling and excellent character development make this a wonderful read, in spite of the grammatical and continuity errors. However, attributing the "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself" quote to Churchill when it was spoken by FDR is unforgivable. Really! Get an editor, please! And keep the story coming. Thanks for everything.
I got knocked out of the mood periodically, just like trying to take a nap in a car on a bumpy road.
I'd suggest you do a search for apostrophes as part of your editing. At every one, ask, "Is this a plural or a possessive?" Then take out the apostrophes from the plurals.
The verb is "breathe." "Breath" is a noun.
Check the subject-verb agreement. Gets confusing when you're not sure what the subject is.
Contest winner or not, this story could be easier to read; better editing would make a difference to someone who is trying to concentrate on the story line.