All Comments on 'The Desired'

is vilified when replaced by his brother. On the other hand it keeps the family united in its sexual pursuits and sets the stage for years of feuding. The poem might be titled, "How to Hurt the One We loved." You can upstage this by replacing the son with his blind demented syphilitic father or is that a redo of a greek myth?

in this poem, as

"How delightfully fitting was I for you to be inside?

My Dear Man or should I say boy, was I a comfort to ride?"

and

"I'm not the desired one from where I have been,

Though you loved me just fine again and again," show real talent. Might I suggest tightening it up a bit and shortening it a bit by elimination or reworking of weaker lines such as line 9, 14, 20, 26.? or not?