3 Coins in the Fountain

We spent the first part of the week practicing. The idea was that we would learn as much as we could about ourselves, our cars and our opponents. On Friday we would all do three laps around the track. The best five of each group would race ten laps on Saturday morning.

The winner would get to practice all day Saturday afternoon and drive as a relief driver in the local formula one race on Sunday. Monday we headed for Germany.

On our very first day, of driving, Tuesday, I learned that the Asian guy was a terrible driver. He was far better at hooking his computer up to the car and finding out problems in its engine.

Paul Diesel and the big bearded guy were both Street racers. They were used to handling a hell of a lot of horsepower, but only raced one time, straight down a section of roadway. The concept of multiple laps and cornering blew their minds.

Even my buddy Luke had his problems. Luke was great on straight-aways and he could take corners with the best of them, but only if they were left turns. He took right hand corners so slowly he could be driving Miss Daisy.

I was doing okay. I was always near the top in our group, but I could have been doing better. The problem was that I missed Maddie. Every day I spent all of my time away from the track trying to call her and leaving her lots of texts.

Every night was spent in my room trying even more. In desperation, I finally called my best friend, Kyle.

I wanted Kyle to go over to the house and find out what the hell was going on with Maddie. Unfortunately, Kyle had to travel for work a lot but he did give me an incredible idea.

He reminded me of my X-finity security system and the fact that we had cameras all over the house that I could call up on my phone. I could also review all of the footage for up to a twenty four hour period.

Maddie and I often checked in on the house when we first got the system but after having it for a couple of years we had both pretty much forgotten about it.

I lay down on my bed and pulled out my phone. Before I could turn it on there was a knock on my door.

"It's open," I yelled.

"Hey ... Reid, we're all going to that bar down the street. You've never gone with us so I thought that maybe I'd ..." he began.

"Thanks Sobie," I said. "But I'm right in the middle of something."

"Calling the old ball and chain again ...?" he smirked. "You two must really be in love."

"We are," I smiled. Just thinking of Maddie brought a smile to my lips. Maddie might not be a world class beauty but she's pretty and she's all mine.

I turned my phone on and hit the Xfinity app. Then I laughed my ass off because it was the wrong one. I was looking at the app that let me watch TV on my phone. There was another one that allowed me to control my DVRs from anywhere in the world.

The last one was the one I wanted. I scrolled through the cameras until I found what I thought I wanted. I saw Maddie talking to that slutty friend of hers. I turned the volume up all the way and could make out a lot of their conversation.

At least I knew that Maddie was alive and well. She seemed to be upset about something. I checked the other cameras around the house. There was no one there beside Maddie and Nancy.

I wished that I could hear them well enough to understand what they were talking about and why Maddie was angry at me. Then it hit me. I went over to my suitcase and grabbed my ear buds. With the buds I could get the phone's volume much louder and make out what they were saying.

At first I thought that Nancy was talking about some guy she had fucked. It didn't surprise me. Nancy was a dick seeking missile. It was one of the reasons that I didn't like Maddie hanging out with her. I didn't want people to think that my Maddie was the same type of woman.

But as I listened to the conversation I got angry. I scrolled back through camera after camera until I found what I needed ... Or maybe didn't need to see.

It was surreal. I couldn't believe what I was watching. Tears sprang from my eyes as I saw it. My wife Maddie was being fucked by a guy. She was giggling stupidly as if she didn't know what she was doing.

One guy got off of her and another got on her. She didn't offer any kind of resistance. She even spread her legs so he could get started.

Nancy got off of the guy she was fucking to watch. I vomited the contents of my gut into the nearby sink and stood there heaving.

I looked at myself in the mirror and was shocked. I looked as if I had aged ten years over the last few minutes. I was sweating. My heart was beating ridiculously fast and I was still short of breath.

It made no sense. Maddie had cheated on me. I tried to calm myself down I watched the tape over and over from the beginning. Maddie HAD been drinking, but she hadn't been drunk at all when she brought three strange men into our house.

From the way the men had been talking from the time they first walked into the house it was obvious why they'd come over. One of them even asked when they were going to get some clothes off and get started.

Besides anger I just felt stupid. It all seemed so obvious now. When does any woman not want to go to Paris? It had all been planned from the very beginning. Maddie had sent me to Europe by myself on purpose. She had made up the whole ridiculous travel phobia thing so she could stay home and fuck strange guys. I was such a fool.

As if I hadn't punished myself enough I watched it over and over again. I wondered what the guys she had fucked had that I didn't. I had noticed that one of the guys had a huge dick. Maybe that was it. Maybe my normal sized equipment just didn't float her boat.

I couldn't take it anymore. I left the hotel room slamming the door on my way out as if breaking something would give me back my shattered ego.

I walked a huge loop through the streets of Rome, alternately silently crying and swearing vengeance.

I ended up in front of the huge fountain in front of the hotel. I stood there in front of the fountain, staring at the ornately carved statues that adorned it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out all of my loose change.

I had three coins, a quarter a nickel and one of those stupid Susan B. Anthony dollar coins that everyone mistakes for a quarter.

I chucked my three coins in the fountain, wondering where I'd heard that phrase before. I threw the coins as if I wanted them to rip through the water, then through the marble of the fountain, through the Earth's crust and emerge halfway across the planet and go through Maddie's cheating heart.

Of course that didn't happen. The water slowed the coins down before they were halfway to the bottom. And although my anger still raged, the coins floated impotently down and settled gently on the bottom with all of the other accumulated coins from many countries that were thrown in there since the fountain was last cleaned.

Then I stood there wondering what I had done wrong. I went over every sin I had committed throughout my life. I started with the cookies I had stolen from the church bake sale when I was three and ending up with lying to Maddie about the purpose of my trip here.

I've never claimed to be perfect, but I don't think I've ever done anything bad enough to deserve what Maddie had done.

I closed my eyes and like Dorothy, I clicked my heels together three times and wished with all of my heart that I could wake up at home in my bed. I wished that it had all been just a dream and that Maddie would be waking me up to go to work.

"It was all a dream ... It was all a dream ... It was all a dream," I mumbled.

"What was all a dream?"

I cracked one eye and turned to look beside me in the direction of the voice.

"Oh, Hi," I said.

"So is this what you do every night?" she asked. I just looked at her.

"Did I interrupt something?" she asked. She looked at me more closely and screwed up her face.

"Are you crying?" she asked incredulously.

"No," I said quickly. "There's just smoke in my eyes."

"You don't have to worry," she said. "I won't tell anyone. I know what guys are like. If I told them you were standing out here crying, you'd never hear the end of it."

"It really doesn't matter to me," I said. "I'm going home first thing in the morning. I have some stuff I need to take care of."

"Your wife told you to come home, huh?" she said.

"My wife doesn't control me!" I said.

"There's nothing wrong with it," she said. "And look you don't have to get angry. I can go somewhere else. I'm not making fun of you. Actually when I heard you guys talking yesterday at breakfast, I thought you sounded like the coolest guy in the bunch."

"Huh?" I said. "Why?"

"You're the only guy here who actually told the truth about being married. You're actually the only guy here who acts like he is married and acts like being married means anything."

"You don't brag about having a car back home that can beat any car in the whole fucking universe. AND you're one of the best drivers here."

"Thanks," I said.

"So why aren't you uhm... Back there with your friends?" I asked.

"Sarah and Jackie aren't my friends," she said. "I know them from last year. They're way too slutty for me. I have to share a room with them because it's cheaper for one thing and because some of the places we go have very limited facilities for women. I also need to have someone to talk to away from all of the guys here."

"You have no idea how tough it is being the only woman in a group like this," she said. "First off there's the fact that I only came here to become a better driver, just like the rest of you. But I also have every would-be Romeo in the group hitting on me." I just looked at her.

"Okay, I know that look," she said. "I'm not like Sarah and Jackie. As a matter of fact that's why I'm here now. Their damned contest has driven me out of our room."

"What contest?" I asked.

"The two of them bet five hundred Euros over which one of them can sleep with the most guys in the group before the tour ends," she said. "They've each got a guy in their beds right now. That's why I'm out here."

We sat down near the fountain and just talked for a few hours before she brought it up again. It was after midnight and we both had to be up for the next day's activities but neither of us was ready to call it a night.

I wasn't ready to try to sleep since I knew what would go through my mind. I have no idea why she wasn't.

"Reid, I think you should rethink your decision to go home," she told me. "I swear that I would never tell anyone about you crying. I know that you're not ready to talk about whatever your wife did, but when you are, I'm here if you need me." She smiled at me then for the first time.

"But whatever it is, you told me that this was supposed to be a once in a lifetime trip for you. Why give it up because someone else did something stupid?"

"I know that she probably called you and told you to come home. Or she threatened to divorce you if you didn't or something like that. Don't give in to her. Once you give in to demands like that you'll always have to give up everything you want to keep her happy. Trust me ...I know."

"I don't think you ..." I began.

"Trust me Reid," she said. "I was married too. He couldn't handle the fact that I was a better driver or that I knew more about cars. This is my second time doing this tour. When I came last year he told me that he'd divorce me if I did. I did it anyway, but he didn't divorce me. He just told me that now that I had it out of my system I could settle down and be a good wife.

I guess my driving ability threatened his fragile masculinity. I found out that he'd been bolstering it by screwing his secretary. I divorced him and came on the tour again."

"I thought you Italians and Europeans in general had more open views about infidelity," I said.

"I'm not Italian," she said. "I guess it's the dark hair huh? I'm a third generation Mexican American, dummy. I was born in and live in Boston."

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"Reid, you didn't offend me," she smiled. "But what you said is the same thing that asshole I married thought. He figured that we'd go to counseling, talk about our feelings and sweep what he did under the rug. He kept telling me that it wasn't the end of the world and it didn't have to be the end of our marriage. Working our way through it could make our marriage stronger.

I guess he just didn't understand that maybe we could keep the marriage going. But a marriage is really at its core just a partnership. It's a contract between two people. So maybe we could renegotiate the contract and save the partnership, but the love and trust I had for him was destroyed and could never be rebuilt." She shook her head and I just stared at her.

"I know it sounds crazy," she said. "My family was shocked. Our women are supposed to stand by their men no matter what. Maria you have to forgive him they all said.

"But I knew in my heart that I deserve better. I deserve someone who'll love me the way you love your wife. I was so jealous of her the day you told the guys about going to the museum to take pictures for her. And the smile you got whenever you talked about her ...She's a lucky woman. You still have to stand your ground though. Enjoy this vacation. Maybe the time apart will make her realize how lucky she is ...alright there's the bat signal."

"Huh?" I said.

"My roomies just flashed the lights on and off in our room," she said. "I guess they're done fucking for the night. Will I see you at breakfast?"

"You betcha," I said with more enthusiasm than I felt.

I went back up to my hotel room and saw my phone lying on my bed where I had left it. I put the phone in my suitcase after turning it off.

Then I went to bed. I tossed and turned all night. I dreamed about Maddie doing terrible things. In the dreams I saw her cheating on me over and over. I saw her cheating on me while she got ready for our wedding. I dreamed that she cheated on me with various members of the hotel staff during our honeymoon.

I saw her cheating on me with my boss, both of our fathers and even with Kyle.

I woke up long before I needed to be at breakfast and I stayed up because I just didn't want to sleep anymore. It was mostly because I was afraid of what I would dream next.

While I showered, my rational brain had a chance to process the situation as I knew it, instead of as I had imagined it. The things that I had dreamed were only that. They were dreams. They were fantasy visions brought on by the pain of what I had discovered.

None of those things were true. Maddie's guilt over cheating on me and her assertion that she felt awful about it told me that it had never happened before. I truly believed that.

Secondly, I was sure that the alcohol had played a factor in it. Maddie had gone from constantly texting me about how much she missed me to sleeping with multiple men. It made no sense. She had to have been drunk out of her mind.

The questions loomed large in my mind. Could we possibly save our marriage? Maria had told me that in her case there was a difference between the relationship and the marriage. I wondered if that was true. Is it possible to separate them?

Suddenly I had an insight. The reason for all of this ... The main reason that we were clearing items from B4K list was the kids. Both of our moms had been pressuring us to get started having kids. At that moment a chill went up my spine. What if this shit had happened after she'd gotten pregnant?

I would have been trapped. It would have been just as Maria's ex-husband had described it. The marriage would have become simply a partnership based on giving our kids the best life possible. I would have been forced to go through the motions to keep my kids happy.

There would have been no love left, no trust left, no relationship between Maddie and me; just a sham of a marriage perpetrated on giving my kids the chance to grow up in a home with two parents.

Would Maddie continue to cheat? Would I find someone else to love and begin cheating? How long would we have to keep the farce going?

We would probably have to stay together until our youngest was at least fifteen or sixteen. That only brings up another problem. If she had done this after we'd had a child, we would have only had one. There would be no way I would ever have brought another child into the world with a cheater.

Maddie had always told me that we needed at least three kids. Shit she was probably lying about that too.

The alarm on my watch chimed suddenly and brought me out of my thoughts. I realized two things. The first was that I had to put all of that shit out of my mind and go eat breakfast so I'd have the energy to drive.

The second was that my life was fucked up. It was all in a state of flux. I had no idea what would happen in two weeks when I returned home. Nothing would ever be the same.

A lot of it would depend on Maddie. If she came out and told me what had happened, we might be able to work our way past it in time. If she didn't we were doomed.

When I first got here, my marriage was the rock at the center of my life. It was the thing I based everything on. My love for Maddie was my safe place to weather the storms that life brought.

At that moment I realized that everything had changed. Coming here to race was no longer a pleasant diversion. Suddenly, it was far more important. It was all I had left.

I just needed to get into a car and drive.

I went down to breakfast. I got a tray that time instead of just coffee. I grabbed a bowl of fruit, and to my surprise, they actually had bacon. I took six slices. "Fuck my Cholesterol," I said louder than I'd intended.

"So be it," screamed someone further behind me in line.

I grabbed two more slices of bacon. I got juice beside my coffee. I had recently read an article about how cherry juice was supposed to help in lowering cholesterol. I figured it couldn't hurt.

I headed for the table where I usually sat with Luke, Paul, Todd, Hoshi and Sobie. Our table was perfect because it wasn't usually sought after. So we knew we'd always be able to sit there.

The closer you were to the girls' table, the harder it was to get a seat. Some of the guys who sat at the table right next to the girls had to get there an hour early. Most of the time, they had to eat or at least get their food early too. If they got up to get food, their seats were immediately taken.

Even then they had problems. If their trays were empty, all kinds of guys would start asking them if they were ready to leave since they were done eating.

But that morning things had changed. I knew that I was different. My focus had completely changed. I wanted to make the best if my remaining time. Instead of just trying to have fun and get better, I wanted to win. Shit, I wanted to win everything.

Little did I know, bigger changes were in store for me. As I sat down, the guys immediately started ribbing me.

"Fuck Dude, is that like a whole pig on your plate?" laughed Todd.

"Leave him alone," said Sobie. "His wife just told him she's pregnant. He's eating for three."

We all started laughing at that. As much as I was still hurting over what Maddie had done, it was funny so I laughed too. I laughed all the way until I went into shock as two arms wrapped themselves around me in a hug.

"I'm so glad you're here," said Maria as the guys at my table went into shock. "Are you gonna be okay?"

Guys all over the room were flipping out and breaking their necks to see what was going on. Maria pushed her way in and sat down beside me.

In that way that women have she rearranged everything on my plate. She turned it from one sloppy pile of food into two neat ones.