4-4-5 Christmas at the Bar

Short story even shorter (I could go twelve pages with this shit; I'm trying to cut back since this chapter's gonna be long), I ain't got off since I been in the shower, so I popped my cookies off right in Jess' mouth whilst I was blowing off Bill. Jess, she gets right up to Bill and plants one on him, and I know he's about to get a mouthful of somethin' he don't necessarily want in his mouth.

She got her hand on my head to keep me where I were, and the entire time she was whispering naughty shit into his ear, amongst which was "come in his mouth." He did, and he wasn't the only one mouthful of something strange. Only me, I snowballed Jess with it, though I didn't get away without swallowing any.

"So?" she asks, "how was it?"

"I donno, like sucking a dick," I said. "Mostly what I thought it'd be like, only, it's a guy, you know?"

"What the fuck? You've thought about sucking dick?" Bill asked, genuinely surprised.

Jess seemed put-off. "Hold on, now! He's being a man about it at least."

"I'll give you a man," he countered, and he went down on her like he had something to prove. Me, I got my cock handled a bit more, and I took care of Jess' upper half. Now that I think of it, things are easier in bed when everybody's participating. Bill and I, we were mostly fighting over Jess. We both got hard around the same time, and we both wanted more of that pussy. But Jess, she said one of her fantasies was to get both at once, so there we was, both dicks all up in there at one time. And boy, I've never seen a chick moan like that.

"I wanna watch you fuck him so bad," she moaned. I think she was talking to me.

Wait, what?

"Now hold on just a minute," Bill said.

"Just do it; jeesh," Jess insisted. "No one's forcing you, but it's not like it's gonna kill you or anything. At least you'll know rather than be all chicken-shit about something you've got absolutely no idea about."

For all her spitfire, she sounded rather genuine. That, and she was already on her way down south to... what in blazes? lick his ass. I may have done that a few times in my day, but only on a woman. Sucking dick was one thing, but that would've been going a bit too far for me. Guy's asses are all oily and hairy. But rather than watch (and probably retch) I figured there was something waiting on me. Down I went, leaving the pussy behind to go lick on her butthole. I figure if I got to stick my measuring stick up someone's ass, I may as well get both.

That actually took a while. Though Jess didn't object to me tonguing (and in a few minutes, fingering) her butthole, it was taking her quite a long time to get used to it, so she kept telling me to slow down. It was worse with Bill, who had clearly never so much as thought about having something up there. I'm sure that after that night, he appreciated women taking it up the ass from him much more, though the rest of the boys and I would throw it around the campfire that he never had anything like that before. If they ever managed to find out about tonight.

I ended up only getting Bill while Bill reaped the rewards of my hard work on Jess, and at the same time, too. We were lying on our sides in a row, and Jess wouldn't let us stop until all three of us came. It was easy for Jess, who I found out friggs herself on her side when she's getting off in her private time, and it was that much easier when she was getting drilled from behind. Bill, as I understand it, had a hard time because... yeah.

Me, Jess said something about "an asshole is an asshole." Try saying that when you've got another man's oily, hairy ass in your face, and you have to put up with the noise he makes when you keep thrusting your dick up into it, and he don't want you grabbing onto his hips or nothing for leverage. It was all I could do to forget about the whole thing and get off a third time.

To finish up, Jess sucked us both off right after we were finished, which is something I ain't never had the likes of; I honestly didn't know chicks did that. Being that I was the one to bring her home, I slept with her on that bed while Bill went to the bedroom alone. I think he needed some quiet time anyways.

"Thanks for everything, Derrick," Jess said the next morning before she left. "I've been trying to get my boyfriend to do that for months; but you, you were a real hero last night."

Holy shit. "You have a boyfriend?"

"I don't know what else to call him; he's the only guy I'm dating right now. You know any nice guys?"

"I'd recommend Bill, but I think you broke him." She laughed pretty good at that. "But really, I'll keep my eyes open." One more kiss, and she was gone. I went back in to get me some breakfast.

************

Bill was never quite the same after that night, but I think he'll be better for it. Me, I think I'll stick to girls, though I don't think I can honestly begrudge one wanting a little something special once in a while. Fair's fair, after all. Jess was the same as always; I guess sex to her is pretty much just sex. I might try for that again, but not until next month.

Sara and Cindy were ecstatic when they heard the news, though when they took me out back to give me my "reward" they held back because I wasn't about to get some that night, and they didn't want to leave me hanging.

Back at work, some little girl was shaking her fingers off at the bar. "Schwat is wrong, little girl?" I asked, "And aren't you a bit too young to be wasting Christmas at the bar?"

"S-she s-said 'y-yes'," she stammered.

"...And that's a good thing? Bad thing? Is she at least cute?" I joked. In my eyes, all women that didn't seek to tread down my path were automatically only interested in girls. So, too, therefore, was this one.

"She's gorgeous!" she said with sudden color on her face. "She's a varsity cheerleader and she's the nicest girl in school and she has the prettiest eyes and she's so smart and..."

Mind you, I didn't think it would actually ever happen before her. "Okay, slow down." I poured her a little something something to warm her up and calm her down. "What about starting from the beginning?"

"I asked her out. Oh god, why did I do that? Everyone's gonna..."

"...Mind their own damn business?"

"Shows what you know," she snarled.

I refilled her drink for her, also taking one for myself. "I went to high school too, you know. I never cared much for the cheerleaders, but I did get one. And let me tell you: While it's nice, cheerleaders are still girls like you, they just like a bit more attention than most. They're easy lays when you keep that in mind."

"Attention?"

"Exactly. They want you to look at them and give them compliments, so that's exactly what you do. Just sometimes they can be really selfish in bed, so when you're fucking her brains out, you gotta warm her up just right so she'll fuck you back."

"F-fuck her?"

"You are planning on having sex with her, aren't you?"

"But I'm a... a..." she leaned in to whisper to me, "a virgin."

"No shit. What exactly does this girl mean to you?"

"I'm in love with her!"

"...Umm..."

I was just keeping her talking to allow the alcohol settle in. Once that was out of the way, she told me a rather teenaged story of how she went through high school like a mouse, quietly falling in and out of love with every boy in sight with her books held up tightly against her chest.

Then one day some asshole guy hits on her, and she falls for it. But right before he can embarrass her in the very public locker halls, in walks sex in sneakers and a Carolina Blue skirt, telling him to hit the calculator before the rest of the cheerleaders found out how small his dick was. Riley, that's the little girl's name, she shook hands with that cheerleader, and the rest is history.

Not exactly; apparently she asked her out in the girl's locker room bare-ass nekkid whilst showering. It took a few more drinks to get her to tell that part of the story though. She says it was an accident, that she just meant to thank her for the help, but out it blurted. The cheerleader thanked her for thinking of her most kindly, and that may have been it but for the goading of the other girls, which inspired that girl to accept the invitation, which was more of a one-night thing rather than an agreement for an actual relationship.

"You want some advice?"

"Sure."

"You're not in love with her. See, when you get out of college..."

"Yes I am!"

Oh, to be that young again. "Beg pardon, I've been in that stool you've got your narrow ass in, and once you stand where I'm standing, you'll realize it's not love same as me. If you try to treat it like that, you're going to fuck things up, understand? You don't want to fuck it up, do you?"

"N-no..."

"But there's no reason the two of you can't be in love. Falling in love is better than just you being in love with her, isn't it!"

"Yes!" She was getting chipper now.

"Did she say she was your girlfriend or anything, or are you just going out to dinner?"

"D-dinner..."

"Then pay attention, because this is your one shot, and no one's been on as many first dates as me (not quite true, but there's not enough time to explain my life story). See, the trick to any girl's heart is making her come. To do that, you take your two fingers like this, and..."

The little girl was a fun distraction, and even more fun when she came back the next day, a-quiver and almost in tears.

"Derrick, Derrick! Help!"

"Yes?"

"She wants another date!"

"Impressed her pretty good, did you?"

"Yeah, but now she thinks I'm all fantastic in bed!"

"And that's a bad thing?
"Duh, yes! I'm not!"

Yeah, she's fun. I gave her advice over the next few days about how to satisfy a woman in bed, and I ended up having to go to experts on the subject to have new and clever things to try. I didn't have the heart to tell her that if the girl was really interested in her, she wouldn't care if she was really bad in bed.

It ended up sparking up some pretty interesting business, especially with my "girlfriend". I'd gotten a bit of special advice from Sara on a peculiar little maneuver that seemed to tickle Cindy just right, and it worked like a charm on my little amigo's cheerleader girl. The next day saw me getting advice from Jess, which I then shared with Sara in turn, and the following day, Cindy was all over me, trying to figure out what influence I could have possibly had on her previous night's bedroom activity.

Riley was glowing by the fifth day, when she finally had a break. I already had two buttery nipples waiting for her.

"Progress?"

"Yeah," she said in a deep exhale. It was Friday evening, and she looked like she'd been at it all day. She took one of the drinks and began sucking on it, though I had to explain the mechanics of taking a shot to her a million times already.

"It's Friday. Why aren't you with her? Make a weekend of it or something?"

"We've been spending the night together in my room all week long," she said with a dreamy expression. "She says this weekend she has to do cheerleader stuff, but she'll stay at my house again Monday night."

"You certainly look happy enough. In fact, I bet you could light Christmas lights for a block with that smile."

She giggled quite endearingly, then took her other shot, faster this time. "We made out together in front of the bicycles," she almost moaned. "Right in front of everyone!"

"I think that means you have a girlfriend, Ry."

***********

Ahh, Christmas season. Lights everywhere, trees with lights on them, frigid air drawing couples closer together, everybody smiling. Makes me smile. I missed Salamandy, I did. She'd be fun to spend time with, but she's got work too. Work hard in winter when it's too cold to sit around so you can have money for summer when it's too hot to do anything but lie on the beach and watch asses walk by.

For a woman that professed to not be bisexual, she sure seemed to know her way around women. I saw her once since she popped in to invite me to her house party; she gave me advice for the young lady on how to get a chick to like having her hair pulled while being fingered to death. Lately I've been thinking about her a lot.

Reo, too. Just when she and I were starting on something, you know how when you're around someone new, how you get a crush on her some time or another? Just when mines starts warming up on her, well, I takes her to bed and I eats her out, I does. Then shit explodes, making me leave for Macedonia. I haven't seen her since, and word around the bar is that she's not too happy with me.

Oh well. I've got my old job back, a hot coworker that wants to get down and boogie every so often, I got all my boys, and I got a stress-free pad. Mostly. Bill, he's not really messy, but not really clean. I confess I had already gotten used to Reo's quaint homemaking, while Bill's pad was nothing better than a bachelor pad. If I had my choice to live with a man or a woman, well, you can pretty much guess. He's cool, but living with him...

I got home from yet another daytime shift. They pulled fewer tips than the nights, but they left evenings free for doing shit. Bill was home.

"Message for you," he said from his spot on the sofa. Memories. Blech.

Why don't I have my cell phone on me, you ask? Because stupid highschoolers fucked around too much for the last fifty years, getting them damn-near outlawed. With the technology switch from land lines over to cell phones, taxes went through the roof. At the same time went taxes for private vehicles, taxes that couldn't be written off through charities.

People dropped their subscriptions to phone services in favor of Internet communication, so cell phones ceased being loss leaders, driving actual phone prices through the roof. People that had them kept them, but for later generations like me, they were way out of price ranges for people having part-time jobs after school. For schools themselves, the phones were forbidden big time, and believe me, they checked.

The short bit of that story is that I chucked mine after moving out of my house because I was too busy paying for rent.

Phone, phone, phone. Just as soon not carry one with me. They tend to interrupt conversations. "Hi, Derrick." There we go, a pleasant voice. Reoren, the sweet little girl with the silvery blond hair. Actually, you know what she reminds me of? A Golden Retriever. They're all "golden," right? But there's different colors: Gold, red, yellow, dead grass, pale, and straight up white. Reo, her hair was silvery-blond. Her brother, too.

Anyway, message: "I decided I don't care what your sister thinks. You and I are going to the Christmas dance."

"What Christmas dance?"

"Beats me," Bill said.

"What's the Christmas dance?"

"The what?" Sam asked from the other end of the line (me having just dialed him).

"The Christmas dance."

"Which one?"

"Beats me. High school?"

"Their next dance is on Valentine's day."

"Then what the hell?"

"Hang on, me to go ask my dad."

"What'd you get up to, Billyum?" I asked of Bill whilst Sam was having a moment.

"Sittink here, havin' a drinky."

"Dad says Laurel's having a dance," Sam said on his return.

The college? "What for?" says I.

"I donno; money or something. It's going down in the football field."

What a stupid idea. "Whose brilliant idea was it to have an outdoor dance in the middle of winter?"

"Second week of December is hardly the middle of winter, and it's the only place big enough. You want something else? I've got a big fat toilet with my name on it."

"I'll leave the two of you to it then, but when is it?"

"Tomorrow. Peace."

What in the world? What in fuck am I supposed to even wear? Better find the man who knows about these sorts of things.

**************8

"By when?" Dree asked about an hour later. Fucking cold lately. Dree worked on 'Trozy's, which was where the rich kids brought dates when they were dead serious about getting some that night. He worked the front door, which means he dressed in a tuxedo, and I was feeling the need for one just like it, and right now.

"Tomorrow, bitch. Where do I net one?" Dree looked rather irritated with me.

He'd gotten the job after his mom threatened to kick him out for depressing her. He's still fucking depressing, but at least he's doing something productive in the meantime. Sam said the trick is that if you've got a job holding you down, you'll be too fucking tired and pissed off to be depressed. At least when you get fed up with your job and you start getting depressed about it, then you'll have some money put away, then you can at least enjoy the elation of freedom if you quit and the having of oodles of money where before you had a pot that smelled like stale urine. But if you'd spent it all, then you have no business being depressed in the first place. "You know tucies need..."

"Sorry, what the fuck did you just say?"

"Tucies, plural of tux."

"Oh. How'd you figure that out?"
"Ends in X, man. You don't just slap an S onto an X to make the word plural. So these tucies need to be fit so they don't look stupid on you. It takes at least a couple of days, and with a dance around the corner..."

"Wait, you knew about it?"

"Of course I do. Didn't you?"

"Fuck you."

"Oh, right. Anyways, go see Danny. He's the only one what can help you now."

"Okay, thanks. Catch you later."

"Right right."

"Oh, Dree?"

"Yup?"

"Who in the fuck is Danny?"

"Aunt Mellie's boy. I assume you know who Aunt Mellie is?"

"Bitch, just give me an address."

"I don't fuckin' know, do I? He may be in the art deco, or else someone there knows where he is." What am I, playing Twenty Steps to Danny the Tuxedo Maker? Do I have to Scooby Doo my way throughout Rotterdale just to get dressed for one party I'm not sure I should be going to in the first place? Fucking fuck.

Useless, but at least the named spot is only down the street. While I were letting my feet do the walking, I let my eyes wander around a little bit. Christmas lights, Christmas trees, beautiful girls in floppy red hats... This town isn't so bad every now and then. And then the smell of horse... and here we are. Down at the end of Main is the art studio with the stables built next to them because the Garden has the most horses in town and the Garden owns the deco.

The sign on the wall told me to come right in, so in I came. The tiny room was nothing but a break from the cold covered in pictures and paintings with a staircase going along the back wall. Up that I went, and I found the familiar welcoming desk with the door behind it and the window behind me looking out to the frosted street. There was no one there to greet me, sooo...

"Hello?" No one in the main room, either. No one but a tiny girl (no kidding, right?) with short black hair prancing away in next to nothing, singing at the top of her lungs. I drew attention to myself, but it seems she was playing her music to herself too loud and only stopped in the room for a moment before popping off to the back. Further calls got me a horse voice, so I stepped through the door.

Screams, shouts to get the hell out, and then, "Oh, hey, Derrick. What's up?"

Oh yeah. I forgot my twins worked here. Wait, work?

The two of them were bare-ass naked but for some very expensive-looking matching white lingerie. One was spread bald on the white-sheeted bed in the middle of the room with the other with her head buried between the first's legs. The black-haired girl looked quite shocked to be walked in on so, but she calmed down when she saw the twins recognize me. It was quite comical, her with her face full of food and her eyes all huge.

"Help you?" she asked, still wide-eyed.

I strode straight up to my two naked girls and kissed them both, not having a clue which was which. On both I tasted the most heady fragrance of pussy, and with all the liquid dripping off one's face, I assumed her to be Sara, whom I was pretty sure wasn't the gusher between the two. "Looking for Danny," I answered flap-jawed.