A Father's Dream

I chuckle as I hurry.

"My daughter the sewer mouth." I think as I hit the porch with just seconds to spare. I use both hands to wipe the rain back off my head into the line of hair around my ears. I let the slowly growing length of my new ponytail take up the rest and dry my hands.

"Why are they ...?" she asks stepping out onto the porch with her broom/dancing partner.

Flash! ... Boom!

"Oh! That's why they are in the house." She steps back inside. I see her shiver.

"Scared of storms?" I ask remembering that her mom was. She gives a tight nod. "Close up the house and you won't even hear it."

She nods and goes to close windows.

Moving over to the wall next to the side door, I open it up. I hit the switch telling my turbine to gear down. Outside the small turbine begins to slow. I guess in a way I lied when I said I didn't have a computer since this is, in a way a, small one. It monitors the amount of power the turbine brings in. It's been doing very well all day. I can see that the batteries are half charged despite the fact that it's been cloudy all day. When I close that panel I open the one next to it and start turning off breakers.

"Hey!"

I smile when I hear her call out from one of the backrooms.

"What happen to the lights?" she asks sticking her head out the doorway.

"Since the sun's not coming out today I thought it might be wiser to save power. Once the storm has passed, and I don't have to worry about wind gusts, I can turn the turbine back on and we'll be fine."

She gives her head a shake. "The house has no power lines running to it but still we have to sit in the dark when it rains."

I laugh at her indignation. "Not quite. There are other ways to light a house."

Going to the living room, I light the four oil lamps that hang in their brackets around the room. I pick up my guitar from the corner and grab a chair. I sit on the edge and start to play. Tapping my foot to give the heavy beat I pick my way through cords. Looking up, I smile as I see the astonishment on her face as she steps into the room.

"That's Rolling in the Deep!"

I nod and play on. She drifts into the room and leans against the top of the chair.

"...we could have had it all! Rolling in the deep...you had my heart in hand..."

I grin as she sings. She has a very good voice if a bit throaty. But then for this song, it sounds great. Playing my way through that song, I then give a try at two others that I have been picking through in my head. I can't quite manage the sounds of some of her favorites but I give it a good try.

She is beaming at me.

I stop playing as she leans down and wraps my neck in a hug. Feeling the warm heat of her, I have to force an image from my mind.

"Thank you," she says softly.

I shrug. "Phil and Jennifer are coming over tomorrow to play and I didn't want you to feel left out this time. I know our normal songs aren't much to your taste so I thought I would learn a few or yours." I pick a few chords of the song by the singer, Pink, I know she likes. "Who knows maybe we will even get you to sing." She blushes and then gives a small shake of her head. "Come on! You have a very good voice. Besides this isn't American Idol. You're not going to get judged."

"How do you know about that show?" she asks giving her hand a little wave. "No TV?"

"Just because I don't have a TV doesn't mean I'm living under a rock." I smile when she points up at the ceiling with its two foot of soil roof. "Okay, maybe there are a few rocks up there but they are small ones."

Chanel sits down and I play softly. It's one of my own songs. Something I have been fiddling with for years. I fell in love with the sound of the slide guitar and with Spanish guitar. I'm trying to get them to blend. I look up from my fingers to find her just looking at me. There is a soft look in her eyes and a smile. I smile back and give her a wink. She blushes.

Since the incident with the towel that's been all, it takes to get her to blush.

With the storm outside raging, I play for my daughter. Songs from my day or older. The ones that she likes and I know. A mixture.

I stop when Smokey lifts her head followed a second later by both of the boys. Setting down my guitar, I get up and walk to the door.

"What is it?" she asks.

I try as hard as I can to hear over the thunder outside.

"Is that a siren?" she asks. Her younger ears catching what mine cannot.

"Yep. The one on top of the school," I say with a nod. I close the door and turn to her.

"We can hear it all the way out here?" she asks looking a little scared.

"Well, I can't but they can." As if to prove what I'm saying, Blackie lifts his chin and gives a little howl.

I get the little radio and turn it on.

"... there is a definite hook on the radar in the Morris and Kimberly area. People in the Brandon and Centerville areas should be seeking immediate shelter. Those in the Kimberly and Morris area should already be in their safe place. ..."

We listen to the weather alert together.

"Don't we need to get into a shelter?" she asks.

I look up at her and smile. "The whole house is a tornado shelter."

She looks around then nods. "Didn't think about that. But then we don't get tornadoes in LA."

"Nope, out there you just shake and bake," I say grinning.

"Ha-ha, hardy, ha-ha," she says, the sarcasm dripping.

I chuckle.

Over the next half-hour, we listen to the growing report of bad weather over the whole region. Then reports of damage start to get added to the endless repeat of the weather. Finally, hours later, it starts to drift off to the east more.

"Get your boots on," I tell her as I get up.

"Where are we going? Oh, to check on everything, Duh!" She pops herself on the forehead and goes to get her boots.

Together we walk out to the barn. The cows are huddled by the side of the barn seeking the shelter from the rain. Their calves inside are lowing but fine. The pigs are playing in the mud of their new field. I grab the chainsaw from the barn.

"Come on; let's go see if anyone needs help."

She nods and walks with me to the truck.

Seeing her hair getting wet in the light drizzle, I hand her one of my hats as we get in. The old truck cranks on the second try. It grumbles like anyone that age would but heads off with good grace.

Twice, between my farm and the next two, I stop and use the saw to clear small trees from the road.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

(Chanel)

When we start to see the damage the storm has caused I have never been so afraid in my life. Road signs have been tore out the ground and tosses like they were made of paper. Trees are down everywhere. I watch my dad negotiate the roads with a calm skill that I envy. He stops and together we get a tree out the road. We do it again a mile down the road.

The old truck putters on till we get to the first house close to our land. Our land? That rings in my head for a second.

Dad pulls the truck into the long driveway. I see one of our neighbors look up from cutting a tree off his fence. Dad leans out the window. "Hey, Michael," he calls out.

"Howdy there, Brian. Y'all come through it okay?" he asks dad, then he looks at me and tips his cap. "Miss." "Hi."

My dad waits to see if I have more to say, then turns back to the man. "Yeah, no I don't have any damage. Thought we would drive down into town and see if I could help out anywhere. I hear on the radio there was some damage."

The man nods and set down his chainsaw.

"Yep, the TV showed a lot of trees down, power lines and that kind of thing. Then the power went out. You know on days like these I sure envy you. That underground house and your own power. You did it the right way up there. Anyway, this tree is the only thing I've got down. I'll get it cleared so my cows don't go wandering. Thanks for stopping."

"No problem Michael. That's what neighbors are for after all." Dad shifts gears. "Sure you don't need help with the tree?" "Thank ya, but I've got her about whooped."

Dad waves and rolls up the window. I just look at him as he drives us down, turns us around, and we head back out. The guy waves to me as we go past him and back out onto the main road.

As we ride into town Dad will twice more stop to check on people. One was fine except for a damaged roof. Dad offers to come back from town and help but the guy too says he's got it. The other neighbor on our road wasn't at home but dad checked their place out anywhere. He told me to stay in the truck while he did.

I watch him through the glass. Without being asked ... without any thought of being paid he uses his saw and his muscles to cut limbs out the way so this person ... this neighbor can get back into his driveway.

"How could you have left his man, Mom?" I ask as I see him walking back towards me. Even for his age, he is still a fine looking man. And a good one.

When he hops in he takes off his hat and wipes his head, then settles it back down. "Their car wasn't there so let's hope they found a safe place," He says clearly worried.

I nod.

The miles that follow are a nightmare. Power trucks, telephone trucks, ambulances and county sheriffs. We often drive around trees too big for us to cut out the way. Then we drive around pieces of someone's roof.

"My god," I say softly when we start to see the damages to houses. "I would never have believed the wind could do all this."

"And this was a small tornado, F2 maybe F3," he says as we pass a large oak tree that smashed into a parked car.

Dad sees someone he knows and we stop. They are trying to get their driveway clear so they can get their car out. We help move several small trees out the way, cutting and rolling logs. That done I sit on a porch, dead tired, holding a crying child while his dad and my dad round up several terrified horses.

Their house behind me has no roof.

I hear dad promise to help them nail their tarps down. When the guy says he doesn't have any tarps big enough, Dad instantly offers to go get some from the hardware store.

"How, Mom?" All the years without this man in my life burn.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

(Brian)

Further and further into town I drive us. The roads getting worse till at last I have to pull us into the parking lot of a fast food place. I see the manager start to walk over to me.

"You know we're closed right? No power," he says when I stop the truck beside him.

"I know this is just a close to the hardware store as I could get. I need to go get some big tarps to help out a neighbor. Can I leave my truck here till I can walk over there and carry them back?"

The guy nods and points me to the side of the lot.

I'm feeling bad now that I brought, Chanel, into town. I didn't know it was going to be this bad. She grew up in a place where this kind of thing doesn't happen about every six months, so to her, it's all impossible.

The manager gets two of his people to follow me over to the hardware store. He needs a few things as well. My friend, Philip, is there working.

"Brian! How are you and Chanel?"

"We came through fine. Jackson, down the road, has part of his roof torn off, though. I told him I would try to get some tarps from you."

"Yeah, I'm going to have to make it first come first serve, and sorry but cash only, till they get me power back up." Philip shrugs. "I think half the town has roof damage. I'm going to run out of tarps quickly."

Nodding, I grab out my wallet. I pull the folded three hundred dollar bills, that I keep there as emergency money, out and hand them to him.

"Here. I need two of tarps. The forty by fifty ones if you have them." I point to the bills in his hand. "Use the rest for anyone that doesn't have the cash. Tell them to pay me back come harvest time."

I see the two fast food guys with me just giving me a look.

Philip comes back with the tarps in a wheel barrel. "Bring it back when you can, Brian."

I promise to do so. I stop. Seeing the two guys with me gives me an idea.

"Do you have one of those rolling generators? I saw you had four in here last week."

"Yeah, they are here for now," Philip says with a nod. "I have no doubt they will fly out of here in the next hour, though."

"Let these two guys' borrow one. I cover it with my credit. They work at the McD's. If their boss can get that place powered up, there will be at least somewhere where people get a hot meal till the power is back."

Philip nods and the two guys follow his flashlight to the back, then they come pushing the little generator by its handles.

Chanel is across the street helping with some people. I smile seeing that. She looks up at me with her beautiful face. The terror I saw there before has faded. God, she is so beautiful. I think as I head for the truck with the wheel barrel.

The manager thanks me for thinking of him. He hands Chanel a bagful of food. I've never been prouder of her than when she gives the bag to the Jackson family when we show up to help with their roof.

We work first there, then at another house down the street. Then on to a third, cutting a large tree out of this lady's living room.

As I finally turn the truck towards the house for the night darkness has well and truly set in. So has exhaustion. That I'm not twenty anymore is letting itself be known. I look over at my daughter. She's asleep against the door. I reach over and catch her arm and I give her a pull and she leans over to my side.

"Be home soon baby," I whisper to her.

She nods her head and snuggles into me. The dogs run out to greet us as I pull into the driveway. I carry Chanel into her room and lay her down. I sit her up long enough to pull off her jacket and get her boots off her feet. I tuck her in wishing I could make her more comfortable. But I can't...

Not after the towel thing.

I leave my daughter to sleep and go have a seat before the fire. I absently pick up the guitar and pluck my way through the song she likes the most.

Looking up, I see the circled day on the calendar. The twenty-second is come up so very soon.

Smokey comes over to comfort me. She knows. She knows and doesn't judge...

I scratch her ears and play with her till sleep takes me.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

(Chanel)

The wood under my cheek is cool as I lean against the hall paneling. I just stand there looking at him asleep in his chair. The three big dogs at his feet. I feel a tear slip from my eye to soak into the wood.

My eyes go to the calendar. Five days. My god where did the months go? I slowly move over to him.

This man.

My father.

My dad.

I kneel down next to him. Smokey looks up at me. I let my hand come to rest on her head. She knows. She knows and doesn't judge me. Doesn't judge me for having fallen in love with my own...

I cover him with a warm blanket. Crying because of the impossible, I leave the room and flee back to my bed. The pillow is very damp before I finally fall to sleep.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

(Brian)

"So you just need the transfer slip, right?" I look to the school secretary and I nod. She goes back to shuffling paper. The lack of power has things in a mess everywhere but a school without its computers suddenly has to remember how to do things the old way. I thank the heavens she's old enough to know how to do it.

Or curse them.

I watch as the gray-haired secretary gets together the necessary paperwork to let Chanel transfer back to her old school.

"Here you go. It was really silly of them to not let her stay out there and finish in the first place." She hands me the form. "This late in her senior year? I'm glad she will get to walk with the rest of her old friends." I nod. Not in agreement just because she expects it. "Well, tell her we will miss her and to have a safe trip."

"I will."

I make my way out the school and past the people coming to pick up class work so their kids don't get behind till power is brought back up. They say the school will be back open by Monday. A few people who see me wave. In the last four days, they and a lot of others have seen me.

And Chanel.

We have been all over town with different groups helping out. Cutting limbs, clearing fallen trees. Helping feed people whose homes are damaged. People without power. People without hope. That's harder to give out than a ham sandwich but we try.

Trying to bring a bit of hope.

And a sandwich.

The old truck passes the piles of fallen trees that line the roads. They reach up like wooden canyons of branches. In some cases a dozen feet higher than my truck's roof.

The chainsaw in the back and its tanks of fuel has hardly been left to sit for more than a few minutes all week. I've cut and stored more firewood than I will use in the next two years. Only the arrival of this day has my saw idle.

As I pass the Red Cross station, I see the lines of people there for food. I also see a sign asking for blood donations. I shrug as I think that maybe one should help the other but I guess I'm the only one that thinks that. I glance down at the sore spot on my arm. It still itches.

The long drive home, with the delay for power trucks rehanging lines, has me on edge. Here on this last day, I want to spend as much of it with her as I can. And I seem to be doing the exact opposite.

First there was a run to the store, then to the hardware store to return the wheel barrel. Then the school to get the paperwork.

I should probably have also gone and picked up her tickets at the airport so as to save a delay later tonight. But I just couldn't.

Sitting watching the flagman, I wish he would keep me here for too long. So long I'm late getting home. So long that we would be too late getting to the airport and she would miss her plane. Maybe would have to stay another night?

Then maybe another night after that.

I glance down at the cake under its plastic cover. Sitting like an explosion of color in the drab seat next to me it's beautiful. The icing is pink, teal green and a light blue. Her favorite colors. It's a spring garden of flowers with bright blue lettering across the front.

Happy 18 Chanel

And I want her to be. Happy. I want her to be happy, not depressed as she has been for the last few days. The terrible damages we have seen, the people we have talked to that have lost everything.

"It's brought her down more every day," I say softly to myself.

I have been slipping into depression myself as well ... but for a different reason. Gripping the wheel, I drive around the flagman and past the quickly forming line of cars going the other direction.

It's a surprise to me when the dogs don't come out to meet the truck in the driveway.

Parking next to the house, I grab the cake out the passenger side seat. Looking across the fields, I see Chanel wave at me from beside the barn. I smile and, leaning the cake against my chest, I wave back. I grin when I see she has one of the rabbits tucked in her arms.

Carrying the cake inside, I see her bag sitting in the hall by the wall. I'm grabbing out some plates when I notice her walking towards the house.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

(Chanel)

Sitting the bundle of fluffy fur back in his cage, I let my hand linger on his silky long ears. He holds still till I turn him loose.

I wish I could steady my heart as easily. It began to hammer the moment I saw the truck.

Hearing a yelp, I look out over the field to where Smokey, Blackie, and Pepper are still chasing after each other. They have been doing it all morning. Several times I've seen Smokey give her sons little bites.

I leave the barn and walk to the house. I smile when I see the cake sitting on the counter. I watch my dad pull out two plates. Walking over to the refrigerator I grab out the glass pitcher of milk. That I have to take a cloth, held on with a rubber band, from the top of something that holds milk no longer feels strange.