All Comments on 'A Loner Mentalist Pt. 05'

Are you seriously going to leave us hanging with this cliffhanger for god knows how long? I had to deduct a point and vote this only 4 stars. Btw., i found it completely obvious that the tv preacher was the cloaked figure. Jack should have sicced the dogs on him right there in front of the house. At least continue with "cartoon dog" telling Jack that he only believes he lost his powers and/or that he should show Mia the crystal to break the bad guys spell...

Hell yeah!!! Neeeeext part!!!!!

Awesome chapter indeed! Thanks a lot for your effort and keep up the amazing work. ^__^

Only insult you from behind the curtain... silly anon. This chapter was GREAT! And I'm very interested in finding out what you do with the next one, sure we know the major plot points we want... but what is he actually going to Do?

Good story keep it going

Ugh I hate your cliff hangers sometimes! Story is getting much more interesting though.

Please note comment below: NOOOOOOOOO! The cliffhangers! The pain! The anguish! The suffering! Now I have to be wondering what will happen until the next chapter is ready XD You Sir/Madame are cruel. So for the sake of my and every other readers sanity, please do hurry with the next incredible chapter! I'd give an infinity/5 for this chapter, but you left on a cliffhanger. So I'm forced to give you a 5/5, not because that's the maximum or anything. Nah.

If my more logical and less grief-striken part of my brain can get in a word, please do hurry with the next chapter, but don't compromise the fantastic quality of your writing - we'll still be here. Waiting. Checking every day. Or hour. Depends.

If you haven't noticed, eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

Your loyal fan,

Dennis

Damn that was a cliffhanger! The story is fascinating, but I will be honest, I'll probably stop reading if Mia gets raped, one of the major premises of this story that I've been reading it for is the honest use and not just abuse of Jack's powers. I may be on this site, but rape has never say well with me.

Went to jail for a spell for nearly killing my sisters rapist, so I may have gotten a little too emotionally attached to Mia to watch her get violated....

U made this homie eat cum the fuck... then u leave use hanging with this fucked up cliffhanger... but i give u props one of the best stories i read this year... hope he figures out how to take powers that would be cool....

P.S. dont keep use waitn long like last time almost forgot about this story...

OMG! LUUUUUVVVVV the name drop... got me super excited maybe they are in the same universe!!! maybe sycksycko is overred!!!! omg lol too hyped

seriously though syck tell red to stop being an ass and finish his next chapter love the stuff youve been writing. Its been a pleasure to read, even with the cliffhangers. its not perfect and there is always room to improve but there is a strong trend of great writers posting here on lit and getting progressively better. one day i hope to join that crowd but for now i will just use your works as inspiration, thanks

It was good until the end

Please Please Please

JC

If by Scout's Honor, you are referring to Boy Scouts, then the Scout Sign would be three fingers not two.

....you took greater pains to make sure of your grammar.

The past tense of the verb "to grind" is "ground", not "grinded"... which is not even a word in the English language.

Beyond the difficulty in reading, caused by the grammatical "bumps" along the way, it is an entertaining and fun story.

The low point our protagonist finds himself at looks to be resolving into a clearer understanding of his abilities. Not stolen, but granted or born into him. With that and some will to win, he can almost too easily defeat the megalomaniac nut job, Jacob.

Like Theo, in 'The Matrix', Jack might come to a more full realization of his capability and the reality and irrelevance of Jacob's power and capacity, through this hardship.

Let's see how you pull it off.

..and can help one improve. Going on and on to try to belittle someone's work smacks of low self esteem wanting to feel better by denigrating others. Sad.

Good story, please keep it up.

I have enjoyed your stories and look forward to more.as for the wankers who nit pick every little minor detail get the fuck over yourself. As for the dickhead who keeps reading every story but complains about the character being unbelievable stop reading it if you don't like it! The characters are believeable with in the story as are their actions with in normal people reactions. An just in case you missed it it's a STORY!

Mia grinded atop Jack's hips. She did not ground there. Also, if you're such a stickler for grammar, why aren't you writing Jacobs' pronoun as Jacobs' instead of Jacob's?

Jacob's means that belonging to Jacob. Jacobs' means that belonging to Jacobs.

Anonymous hypocrite.

Also, why are some of you reading my story despite finding "the character reactions stupid"? Seriously, WTF is going on inside your brains? Has a smooth-talking, fair-haired faith healer been near you of late? ;-)

Ignore the haters. This story is so riveting. If you were to take out the sex slave bit it would be a great television series.

Like the story alot. it's very different form other mind controled stories I've read. I can't wait to see how Jack get's out of this and I love his vision dog side kick. I bet a certin violet crystal comes in to play in chapter 6.

you've got plans to continue this. It deserves at least 3-4 more chapters, and a good conclusion. Jack is too good a guy to be left like that, and he should be able to figure out a way to bring that scumbag down.

For part 6 already!

Don't worry about the hate. Haters will exist no matter what you do. They will bust nuts, because this feeds their being proverbial assholes. That's life. Don't give a shit about them, because that is what makes them happy.

There is a great book out there. It is called "Asshole, a theory". It is a fun and very enlightening read. Changed my perspective on the asshole race. Now, there is no greater fun than make an asshole feel that I am the proverbial asshole and not them. Winning at their turf, so to speak. Beautiful.

I just wanted to leave a quick anonymous note here, that these stories are incredible, and that it must truly take an amazing mind to make them.

May good fortune come to you,

Dennis

Was a sudden lurch at the end when i realized it was done....hope to see the end or continuation of this story soon. Thanks it was very good

Great story. Can't wait to read how Jack gets himself out. He is too good a guy to not be able to get some sort of revenge and power back.

Please give us more.

not what i was looking for when i started reading but MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Settle down, people. Part six has been typed up and is with the editor. It'll be up soon, perhaps even as soon as next week.

Part seven will follow shortly after that, I promise.

I had when Jack woke up and Jacob abused Mia..

I don't know, I have to say that I love your story, I just finished every chapter in two days (which is very unlikely to happen when you are me) , but I really don't agree with the abuse of Mia. I sympathize waaay too much with that character to see that happening. Also, I don't know how there's a way to fix the relationship between Jack and Mia after that happened. But then again, maybe you don't like happy endings and don't want to fix it anyways.

Still, I will definitely read on and I can only hope for a well written chapter 7 which fulfills my own wishes about the story ;(

Keep up the good work!

where the fuck is part 6,you said you finished it weeks ago

You wrote a great story, but where are the new parts? I was waiting for a long time. It's one week after the date you promised, and I checked everyday for it. Please post it ASAP, we cannot wait anymore :(

Wow guys relax, I know he said "maybe as fast as next week" but I guess the editor has a life too.

It's done when it's done, nothing you can do about it. Be glad that he even continues with the story!

Keep it up sycksycko :)

There are a lot of stories right now I have been watching that the author has post it to lit, but it has yet to be approved. I have been waiting for them to release some for two weeks now!

Over_Red is busy studying for his exams, so you'll all have to be patient and wait a couple of weeks for his edit. Part six is definitely going to be online this November, but most likely not before the last week of it.

Part seven will follow part six very shortly and you will probably love the both of them very much, so I urge you to check back here in a couple of weeks and enjoy!

Thanks very much for the update on part six, like I already guessed, the editor has a life afterall :p

Best of luck to him for his exams!

Part six is coming next week. Over_Red has finished his edit and I'm going to fix the mistakes he has spotted and then you'll all enjoy, I hope!

for the update. Really looking forward to part 6 :D

...to Rachel Ransfield in this part. Always cool to see great writers collaborating!

the part, where Mia was controlled by Jacobs. Almost dropped the whole story.

Wow! Wow! Wow!

The writer is a faggoty cuck mother fucking cunt...

Problem is he lets his guard down too much. very stupid.

there is something wholesome seeing someone who holds strongly to ideals that make them vulnerable, being broken, perhaps this coward will grow some balls after sucking down a load.