All Comments on 'A Night of Dancing'

It’s funny. Last week, I made a comment on the forum about 90% of LW stories fitting into two categories. I mentioned that one of those categories includes two classic tropes: men getting erections while dancing, and women removing their panties in a bar and handing it to a new lover.

I understand that this is a continuation of what seems to be a much longer story, so I won’t comment on the lack of character or plot development, as I assume that will come later. We don’t see many LW stories told from the “bull’s” perspective, so that is what interests me most about this story. There are many pluses and minuses to being the third wheel. I’d like to see that aspect explored.

One more comment: work on making your dialog a little more natural. Think about how people speak in real life. They tend to use abbreviations and shortcuts. The folks in this story are a little too wordy.

Thanks for contributing.

Swingerjoe, Thanks for your comments. This is only my second story here so I'm still learning how to write erotic stories in a way for others to read. These first two stories are taken from some personal experiences. Do you have any suggestions for possibly having a third person edit the stories for better reading?

Randi and Sbrooks seem to have an unlimited amount of free time, and seem to edit roughly half of the stories posted to LW. Unfortunately, it comes with a price. You must bend the knee, swear your loyalty, and seal it with a kiss planted firmly on each ass cheek.

(I’m kidding! I’m kidding! Lighten up!)

Seriously, I don’t think you need an editor as much as someone to bounce some ideas off of, bring some cohesiveness to this story, add a little drama or twist here and there, etc. For that, I’d be willing to help. For wordsmithing/grammar/spelling, I could help, depending on my schedule. You could also check the forum for volunteers, and for help/collaboration with your story.

Good luck!

Take herd of what SJ said.

You could insert some "tension", but keep the story light, fun, and positive; as you have done so far. You will be fine. I am picky, don't usually prefer stories like yours and I 4d it. Vic V in SD

You must look for psychological help to cure your pathological jealousy. And please try to avoid giving shitty advices to other writers.

The story? What story?

Nicely done.

I do so appreciate the LW stories from the perspective of the other man (or as SJ says, the "bull").

Nice Smile, Chicago

Your writing is very good. Grammar spot on. When I read (which is by the way all the time) errors just jump out at me and can dim the reading enjoyment but you do awesome!

Hope you keep writing. I especially like stories from real life. I find them most stimulating! Just wish my life could be so fun!!!