A Raven for My Thoughts

"I guess he thought I was down, but I had more fight left in me. I managed to wrestle free from him for just a bit. It was enough for me to stab him in the gut. I guess it must have really hurt him because he fell to his knees. I ran out the house and to the neighbors' house without. A woman answered the door and called the cops. I stayed with her until the cops came and told her what had happened. The bleeding was pretty bad, but that woman helped me out a lot. Needless to say she gave me something to cover myself up. When the cops arrived, I told them who had did this to me. Before I could find out what they did with him, paramedics came and took me away. After doctors stitched me up, they told me that the scars will likely never completely fade away. I needed good news after that, and it came in the form of a cop. He told me that Cole was in custody and he wanted to know if I wanted to press charges on Cole. Of fucking course I did. And, as you know, I won the case and he was put away. for 5 years. So, this all happened 5 years ago."

"Yet you're standing strong right now."

"I'm a mess, I came running to you because I was afraid of being alone. I almost killed myself over this. Besides, if he had actually, you know, raped me, I don't know if I would've made it.'

"You would've made it through no matter what." I have no idea why I said that. I didn't know how strong she was, I barely knew her, yet I said that with extreme confidence. Why? Well, I felt it. Even though she was trembling next to me, tears rolling off her cheek and onto my chest, I felt a tremendous strength coming from her. She seemed frail, but she was tough; tougher than I could ever be.

She took my left arm and inspected it. I had more scars than just the one from the suicide attempt. The others were more numerous and gruesome. She ran her thumb across the scar from the suicide attempt. It was soothing.

"Why this?" she asked. "What happened?"

"Well, it was freshman year. We still had Understanding Theatre together. I guess I just had enough of everything. I was tired of being pressured by my parents to go to school. I couldn't focus on my classes and I realized that I would do no good to my parents if they pay for my college and I don't get good grades. So, one morning, I wrote my note, got my knife, and slit my wrist. After I did, I realized I didn't cut deep enough. I hit a lot of veins, but missed my artery by just a bit. It bled a lot, but I managed to contain it myself with some superglue and a lot of gauze. The hardest part was going through the rest of that day while pretending nothing was wrong. I even attended all my classes. I remember seeing you that day."

"I remember you were wearing a long sleeve shirt on one day. It was in the middle of fall and it was hot."

"Well, now you know why." I didn't cry when recalling this. Every tear I could shed for that morning had already been shed.

"What about these?" She ran her fingers across the other scars.

"Well, whether or not I knew it at the time, I did that for attention. It was stupid. Itisstupid." She kissed my arm and lay her head on my chest.

We sat quietly for a while. Then, she asked if we could leave. I agreed and we went back to my apartment. We took our turns at the bathroom then got into bed. Surprisingly, she took off her shirt and shorts when she was under the covers and threw them aside, then took her glasses off and placed them on the night stand. I followed suit and took off everything except my boxers and dropped it beside the bed. She turned to face me and we just looked at each other. The very dim light coming from the shaded lamp on my desk gave me enough light to see precise details in her eyes. We didn't need words at this point. Our eyes spoke volumes in a language I could not understand. This continued until I fell asleep. if I remember right, Kat was still awake when I dozed off.

*^*^*^*^*

This time when I woke up, Kat was not in front of me. I felt around the bed in the hope that she was still there. She wasn't. I got out of bed and looked around the room, she was nowhere to be found. My bedside clock told me it was 3 in the morning, her glasses were not next to it. I went out the room and into the living room, she wasn't there either. Then, I heard the main door close. I quickly ran out and saw her going down the stairs. I ran after her and called her name. She slowed down but didn't stop.

I reached her, and tried to tell her to stop. She kept avoiding my eyes and carried on walking once she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Kat, stop. Please, stop. Why are you leaving? STOP!" I avoided touching her for good reason. Thankfully, she listened this time.

"Why are you stopping me?" she asked.

"Why did you stop for me?"

"Because you're out here in nothing but your boxers."

"Yes, I am, now come back inside. Let's talk about this."

She looked at her car then looked back at me. "Okay."

We walked back up the stairs and to the door. Unfortunately my apartment doors locked when they closed. Without hesitation, Kat suggested we go to her apartment. With equal amount of hesitation, I agreed and we walked to her car.

When we were on the way, I asked her what was up.

"Drop it, I don't want to talk about it."

"No," I said firmly, "We have to talk about this. If I am going to emotionally invest in you in any way, I want to know that you won't walk away from me."

"That's why. I don't want you to invest anything in me."

"And why the hell not?"

"Because you just shouldn't. I don't want to hurt you."

"Trust me, you can't hurt me."

She went silent and carried on driving. We didn't say anything until we got into her apartment. She didn't have any clothes for me so she gave me a blanket then went to the kitchen to make hot chocolate. When she was done, she handed the cup to me and sat close to me.

I looked around the room because I really didn't know what to say. Her living room had a large couch, and in front of that was a large coffee table. Her TV was disproportionately small compared to yet another large piece of furniture, the TV stand. Thankfully the living room was large enough to fit all the items without seeming cramped. She left all the lights off except a lamp in the corner of the room. The light barely spread across the whole room, but it was enough to let me see Kat's face. As I looked at her, she looked away, resuming my observation of the room. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot and puffy from crying, or at least trying to hold back the tears. Her frown had an effect on me. It was so beautifully sad that I felt it, I felt what she was feeling. It hurt me to see it, and I wanted it gone.

"I'm really sorry," she said solemnly. "I was afraid. This is new to me.. I don't know what to do. It's so confusing and-" I cut her off with a kiss.

"Don't be sorry, and don't be afraid."

"Why?"

"Don't be sorry because I understand, and don't be afraid because I'm here."

I pulled her closer and kissed her harder but quickly broke off again. She looked intensely into my eyes, and we both knew what was going to happen. I wasn't going to stop it from happening, and I was hoping she wasn't going to.. She took the lead and leaned in to kiss me. Her arms wrapped around me and she groaned. Our breathing got harder along with a certain part of my anatomy. She did not hesitate or slow down. Rather, she jumped up to straddle me then started grinding my barely clothed cock. She briefly broke the kiss to take off her glasses and toss them aside before attacking me again. Making out with her was unlike anyone else I had ever made out with. She had this way of teasing when she kissed, giving me some tongue then retreating when I got too bold. It kept me on edge and made me work for her tongue.

When I got done being teased, I worked my way down. She welcomed me by leaning her head back and exposing her slender neck to me. I hungrily kissed her and worked down further. She encouraged me by putting her hands in my hair, then guided me wherever she wanted me. I was only too happy to let her control me. Her breathing became ragged when I kissed the spot in between her collarbones. "Oh shit," she said with a shaky voice, then leaned back all the way so that her back was resting on the coffee table next to the couch. I looked down at her spread legs on my hips then trailed upwards. Her shirt had ridden up slightly exposing an achingly small amount of her belly. "Well, are you just going to stare at me?"

I shook my head and started raising her shirt slowly. Her tattoo (and scar) was completely exposed now, but I didn't acknowledge it. The last thing I wanted was for her to break down again. Her shirt was now at the bottom of her rib cage. She pulled it up the rest of the way and took it off. A black sports bra covered her breasts. Her hard nipples protruded slightly from the thin material. She started raising her body and I marveled at her toned abs. Her lips met mine again, but this time her hands were in between our bodies, getting closer and closer to my crotch.

She stopped kissing me and seemed concerned about something. "You're shaking," she said.

"I shake when I get nervous and excited."

"Why are you nervous and excited?'

"Well, it's obvious why I'm excited."

"Why are you nervous then?"

"It's my first time." That was certainly not a lie. It was my first time, and I couldn't have been happier that Kat would be my first.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

I didn't answer her. Rather, I put my fingers under her sports bra and she willingly raised her arms. I raised it slowly. Little by little, her breasts were revealed until finally her nipples were revealed. In contrast to her slightly pale skin, they were dark brown along with her small areolas. After they were completely exposed, I pulled the bra over her head and unfortunately got it tangled in her short hair somehow. She laughed at me while she untangled herself. Meanwhile, I couldn't keep my hands off her. Her boobs were very firm and perky, and she was very.. Umm.. Responsive to my touches. When she got the bra off, she attached herself to me again. Her hips grinded into me and I could feel the searing heat of her sex on my crotch. Feeling like there were too many layers between us, I picked her up and lay her down in the couch. She was panting and looking at me like a lioness looks at her prey.

She opened her arms to welcome me to her. I took my place in her embrace and kissed her. My hands explored her thighs. They occasionally dipped under the hem of her shorts. Emboldened by her moans, I explored further until my fingers brushed up against the soft cotton of her panties. She groaned and pulled the shorts down to her knees. I got up and pulled them off, then leaned back down to take her dark nipple into my mouth. As I nibbled and licked it, she became more and more restless. Her body writhed and squirmed underneath me. She moaned quietly and held my head over her breast. It was quite obvious she didn't want me to move.

Her legs wrapped around my waist and held me down. The heat from her sex hadn't subsided one bit. It burned with a renewed intensity that I felt on my belly. I yearned to feel it with my hands, wanted even more to feel it with my cock. Thankfully, Kat let go of my head and unwrapped me from her legs. That gave me free reign to do whatever I wanted to her, and what I wanted most was to have my hands on every part of her.

I raised myself over her and she moaned in complaint. She didn't complain for long because my hands were all over her in no time. I savored every sensation as my fingers traveled over her skin. They met her breasts and her smile returned. Then, I brushed my fingers up and down her sides, tracing her womanly hourglass figure, until I reached the waistband of her panties. I didn't want to be too hasty so I left them on. Using one finger, I started my way across from her hip, tracing the hem of her panties until it was in between her thighs. She tilted her hips up in anticipation. I could see a very faint outline of her lips. As gingerly as I could, I pushed the length of my finger into her slit and slowly rubbed it in. Her soft folds embraced my finger and the spot quickly became damp and slick from her juices.

Under the cotton, I felt the hard nub that was her clit. I rubbed it slowly and tensed and shuddered. "Not through the panties," she whispered.

Heeding her warning, I snaked my hand into her panties. It was met with soft pubic hair, not overgrown and not prickly. I drew circles with my fingers, inching my way closer and closer to her sex. She groaned again when I brushed over the top of her soft lips. She pulled my head down to hers and kissed me hard. This was enough to motivate me to slide my hand further into her panties until I reached her incredibly wet opening. I slowly slid a finger into her and she inhaled sharply. She was incredibly tight, tighter than any other girls I'd fooled around with. I hooked my finger and started massaging her G-spot. She lifted her hips to give me better access.

A few minutes later, Kat showed no signs of getting more or less excited. I have never been patient so I decided to take off her panties. There was no protest as I pulled them away from her hips. When they were off, I just admired the sight in front of me. She had a well-maintained black full bush that didn't hide her vulva. Her vulva itself was nothing short of beautiful. Thick outer lips framed her slightly protruding pink inner lips. Her clit was hidden by a small hood that protruded out just a little more than her inner lips.

"Are you just going to stare or do you want to do something to me?" she asked impatiently.

I answered by kissing her inner thigh while massaging her outer lips with my hand. Since she took her time giving me my orgasm earlier, I was going to take mine with her. Although I was a virgin, I did know how to pleasure girls using things other than my penis. Admittedly, I wasn't exceptionally good at it, but good enough for the flings I had. The only problem was, this wasn't a fling so I was justifiably nervous.

To learn her spots and what she liked, I experimented by rubbing different spots with varying pressure and speed. Any time she moaned approvingly, I catalogued what I was doing at the time then experimented with something else. I would use that knowledge when I finally decided to push her over the edge.

Thankfully, Kat understood what I was trying to do so she didn't get impatient. I'm sure she also gave me some leeway since I was a virgin. Either way, I rather enjoyed taking my time. I was rewarded with approving moans and the breathtaking sight of her lithe body writhing and gyrating.

I was so engrossed in what I was doing, I lost track of time. Kat went silent, but punctuated the silence with an occasional sigh or groan. She got wetter and wetter as time went on. I detached my mouth from her and started working her with only my hands. Her clit had grown a little and was noticeably firmer.

After a while, she raised her head and looked at me. When I looked up at her, she whispered, "You're driving me crazy."

I took the hint and went into my mental catalogue and chose what action gave me the best reaction from her. I locked my lips on her clit and sucked hard while slowly running my tongue over it. Meanwhile, my finger slid into her and hooked upwards to squeeze her G-spot. The effect was almost instantaneous.

"Oh shi-" she whispered. She groaned and arched her back. I couldn't see her face as much as I wanted to, but my guess is it was thoroughly contorted in the throes of her climax. Her body then shuddered as she peaked and sensitivity took over. She put a hand on the back of my head but didn't push down nor pull me away. Emboldened, I continued doing what I was doing even as her body shook like she was being electrocuted. I had read about girls having two orgasms in quick succession, but it didn't happen because of the sensitivity barrier. I was so glad that Kat was willing to push through the barrier.

Her body was still shaking and tensing periodically but she didn't push me away. Little more than a minute passed before she said in a strained voice, "Oh god.. Again."

She wasn't as quiet this time. She gasped and moaned loudly as her orgasm built up. It seemed like she peaked and got to the sensitivity wall much faster than before and this time she did stop me. Rather than pushing me away, though, she pulled me up and nuzzled into my neck while her body convulsed under me. Her legs locked around my butt and she just held me. I was afraid I was too heavy so I managed to turn over and put myself on the bottom. We stayed in that position as the aftershocks of her second orgasm died down.

It was only then that I noticed that my dick had found the fly in my boxers and was peeking out. It was tucked between us and I could feel her crisp pubic hair on the underside of my penis. I couldn't help but subtly move my hips to get a little pleasure out of our position. Of course, Kat noticed and encouraged me by kissing me in her soft spot on her upper body, in between the collar bones. It turned out that it was quite a soft spot for me too and I moaned without knowing it.

"Take off your boxers."

I had no right nor will to decline. She got off me and I pulled my boxers off. My dick stood to attention, and an abundance of precum told both of us that foreplay would not be necessary.

"Do you have condoms?" she asked me.. As if I was expecting to have sex with anyone anytime soon. I shook my head. "Well, that's unfortunate." My heart sank, but it could always wait. I waited for 21 years, another day or even another week wouldn't hurt.

"It's fine. I can wait." It was hard to hide my disappointment and I didn't do it well.

"I'm so sorry. I can make it up to you."

"How do you plan on doing that?" I asked.

Without saying anything, she got up and kneeled between my legs. She took me into her mouth. I had received a few blowjobs before, but they were all done by "experienced" girls (Not hookers.. I'm too broke for those). Kat seemed considerably less talented as she awkwardly licked and took very little of me in. I didn't want to put her down though so I moaned in appreciation. To make things a little better without hurting her feelings, I put her hand onto my shaft and motioned to her to use both hand and mouth. That definitely worked better. I closed my eyes and relaxed as I let Kat take me to an orgasm.

"I like how your precum tastes," she said while giving her mouth a break.

"And you say I make situations awkward."

"What? I was making an observation. Don't you think I taste good?"

Women always turn things on you, no matter what. "You taste great," I said with all honesty.

She smiled brightly then took me into her mouth again. This time, she used less of her mouth and more of her hand. She squeezed harder and moved faster with an obvious objective.

After a while, I felt myself approaching orgasm. It took much longer than expected, but I let her know. Surprisingly, she didn't take her mouth off me. She sped up even more and pulled my foreskin all the way back to get direct access to the head. The extra stimulation pushed me over the edge and I started cumming. I got sensitive way faster than usual. My shuddering got Kat's attention and she thankfully relented. She disengaged from me with a pop then grimaced. I knew why.

"You should probably spit that out." She nodded and quickly ran off to the bathroom. She left the door open. Consequently I heard her spit it out then wash her mouth out.

When she came back, she started to apologize. "Sorry, I-"

"Shouldn't worry about it. I know cum doesn't taste like honey."

"Sucked a lot of dick in your time?" she laughed.

"Hah, just on the weekends to get some extra cash." I pulled her down onto the couch with me and started tickling her. Unfortunately she wasn't quite as ticklish as me so I ended up being the victim. She tickled me to the point of breathlessness and relented when I finally managed to get the upper hand, I was too tired to do anything to her. I just got off her and fell to the floor in exhaustion. She peeked over the edge of the couch and smiled.