All Comments on 'A Revenge Fuck'

Good revenge against the stupid asshole boss. He got what he deserved.

For God's sake, pick a tense.

Aside from being a predictable rehash, jumping back and forth being tenses was just sloppy and lazy.

really needs editing

Great idea. Short and sweet. They led him on taking his weaknesses to do him in. Great idea.

This is a good story and says what a marriage must be: "They knew each other, they trusted each other. They loved each other unconditionally."

have integrity, loyalty and trust. TK U MLJ LV NV

This story needs some spice. Use a bigger dash of salt!

Stasiu

unreadable....what were the other reviewers thinking...

It was rushed shiort and the story did not work for me.

Good idea, spoiled by bad grammar and needless political comments

The premise is so silly it is painful. The execution is even more painful.

Basically, the message seems to be 'Guys with small dicks try to compensate by cheating and stealing. They can be twarted by honest, bright guys whose wives don't mind being inappropriate for no necessary reason.'

Your story and your political sniveling are both juvenile. There are criminals and good citizens amongst both liberals and conservatives. There are certainly " talking heads " at each end of the political spectrum. Adding your ignorance of this fact just makes you an immature talking head , panty boy.

just poorly executed.

To all those complaining of spelling or grammar fuck off... the characters and plot are what matter.

@hoppydoodle

You're wrong. There are no good liberals. Their are naive, ignorant liberals and there are deliberately evil liberals, but there are no good liberals.

I have a bone to pick with you. I found one spelling error. Im just kidding. For people speaking of spelling errors. As far as I am concerned, they can all go straight to .....This is the best story that I have ever read on hear. I am on hear to read a good story. These spelling error freaks are so ugly, that the only way to forget about their ugly wives is to complain about everything. It is so hard to believe that there is so many grammar experts on this site that have never earned a fucking nickel writing any book. These spelling freaks all must be on welfare to have the time to harass everyone, including me. What a pathetic pieces of shit that we have to live in. These spelling error freaks must want money to do your story for you.

Notice dmhack can complain of your story, but for 5 years he has been a member on this site and has never written one story. I wonder if I can research and see what all his comments in 5 years have been about. I or anyone else please keep everyone on this site updated.

....just not the delivery.

Take some classes. Learn to write well. Learn to develop characters as people.

Learn to spell, learn to express yourself like an adult comfortable with the English language. Then learn to proofread or get a peer to assist you with editing......

Then write something else for this forum and submit it.

If the idea is as good as this one, you might survive the onslaught of attacks from your detractors long enough to bask in the praise of your fans.....scant as it may be. This is not a very friendly place for the tender-hearted or for thin-skinned writers. Go home to mamma's for that.

In the meantime, please keep your day job. The welfare roles are already too full.

not so much. Take the basic plot structure and just add some interesting characters, an intriguing story with more history and structure, and make the actions and motives dramatic and believable. Try some more.

Unless you're volunteering to edit, keep your nit picking about spelling and grammar to your selves.

And to back up another anonymous... I have never met a Liberal that can explain why all his good ideas never work in the REAL WORLD. They even believe we live in a democracy. Probably because they've never learned the pledge of allegiance.. 'and to the REPUBLIC for which it stands, one nation, under GOD...

I can just see them twisting and squirming when they read this... LMFAO

Why must some of you resort to name calling when some of us give constructive criticism about a story? How can one improve, if there is no critiqueing? I'm an avid reader and lose myself in all sorts of tales (fiction, non-fiction, horror, erotica, science fiction, etc...). A few spelling errors can be easily overlooked. However, when a writer's story suffers from glaringly obvious spelling errors, misuse of words, mistakes with past/present/future tense, poor sentence structure, mix-ups with the names/ages/sexes of the characters and/or continuous use of run on sentences, it can be an ordeal to read a submission. I'm not saying that this particular author's story suffers from all of those. I'm just giving an example of how folks come to comment what they do and rate as they do. Critiquing a story can be done in a respectful and helpful way. The same goes for comments. If you don't agree with someone's critique (comment) of an author's work, there's a way to speak your mind without being a jackanapes about it. My opinion of this story is that the writer has potential. The character's weren't flushed out enough for my taste, it was riddled with grammatical errors, transition from past/present wasn't done smoothly but overall, it was an enjoyable story. I hope the writer isn't discouraged and keeps offering submissions because the more he/she tries, I think the better he/she will become. Good luck!

Really, you had to be one of those pathetic libs with no center? You're writing isn't bad but throwing that chicken stuff in out of context show you will most likely never improve. A bit sad really, but not surprising.

good work

Nuf.

I loved the story but I was starved for more at the end. The ending certainly blindsided me in a very good way. Sexual predators need to be found out and this fantasy made that happen in a well presented well written short. I gave it five stars. Thank you for sharing your talents!

Easily one of the worst things ever written on this site. I would try to be constructive, but detailing its inanities would be longer than this so-called "story" itself. Try again. Or don't. I won't be reading anything more. This genre has the best writers and best stories on here, but this isn't either of those.

One page does not make a good story.Any wife or husband does a revenge fuck with out proof needs a divorce just for stupidity sake.

Of all the stupid, incongruous, idiotic (yes, I know I already said stupid, but it really IS THAT dumb) things to say at the end:

The Sayings of the Conservative talking heads that he has been indoctrinating everyone with are coming down off the walls and trashed

And no, I am not saying that because of my political leanings which is probably best described as libertarian, but because you are so full of the kool-aid of hate and intolerance for anyone that does not believe the same as you, that you could not help yourself and had to add that totally inapropos garbage.

Went from 4 to 1

Loved it.

Foolish, needless, irrelevant political bashing of those with whom you disagree merely to inject your leftist political agenda into a story, DROPS ALL YOUR STORIES TO ONE STAR!

And i suppose I could retaliate by calling you a dumb pollack, but that would be stooping to your level.

Boy, that is going to piss a lot of people off. East coast financial district, 1980's. And by the way, that asshole did get fired. Not because he was abusing his woman staff, ( he was ). His fingers got caught in the till. My friend said that they all went out and got drunk in celebration.

Not a very good read.

Anonymous 06/28/16 nailed it spot on.

Absolutely stupid thing to say.

Completely irrelevant and hackneyed political potshot.

You did this in another story too. Is this going to be a recurring theme?

If so I won't be reading much more.

Agreed with anonymous completely. Took it from a creative 4 star story to 1 1/2 to 2

Completely agreed with Anonymous 6/28, Anonymous 9/16, and DrD

Just a shitty way to interject political propaganda where it made absolutely no sense in the story.

Cheap and trite.

Lowered the score to 2. Only reason not 1 is that it was actually a pretty good story until that stupidity.

Stop. Do the analysis. Political shit defines people.

It defines their trust worthyness, their openness, their honesty, their weaknesses, their strengths..... YES. IT'S ON THE RIGHT, THE LEFT, RELIGIOUS AND NON-RELIGIOUS.. (chose your own divisions) If it pisses you off that that someone actually talks about some of the real bullshit of political life(left, right, center,religious....), then you have issues.

Figure out your own issues. Don't make it another's problem.

The fucking world is not perfect. Newer was, never will be, Get over it. Some of my best friends are totally different from my beliefs. We can see the world as it is, not as we would want it to be.

Understand, the world is sometimes pretty shitty to us and our loved ones. It ain't gonna change. We gotta.

I feel about political parties the same way I feel about organized religion. I am aligned with none of them. I do not care what others choose to do. I do not preach to them, so I do not allow them to preach to me.

I am guessing if you ever write a story with an academic setting you will make note of the liberal brainwashing taking place at all educational levels

Now I'm a commie? What is the color of the sky from the planet you are from?

For a story where the asshole gets exactly what he deserves. 5* for all the readers who don't write stories themselves but happily nitpick other people's stories.

Love the twist in the couple of your stories i have read. Keep it up. Cheers

Most would agree with your statement about political philosophy partially defining a person.

Think you missed those commenters point. Out of the blue, at very end of the story you toss in political comment in such a way readers have inferred your meaning to be that the predator's actions stemmed from his Conservative views. Up until that point in story nothing of the kind was mentioned.

For every Clinton, Cosby, Weinert, pick a Kennedy, there is a Bill O'Reilly. Personally I have never had much use for any of them.

Your extended defense of that part of your story perplexes me, but it is your story and seem intransigent on validating its inclusion

I may not have pointed that out in my stories, but I firmly believe that. I try real hard to not do a number on the religious right/left/center/flakes/... only because I can see real faith in some of their follower's choices.

On the other hand, I go to a Doctor who believes in the sacredness of my psyche, being and the choices I make. Not so much about taking advantage of someone who is ill. That is most important.

For me, I get pissed about self serving assholes. Brother-in-law supported the Republican candidate. He got laid off and with his health problems, getting a job let alone medical coverage is now THE MAJOR WORRY IN HIS LIFE. Preexisting conditions be covered? He has 7 years to go till medicare and he is shitting bricks. He doesn't talk politics anymore because now it is his ox that is getting gored.

Self Serving Blindness comes in all Political, Religious and Economic backgrounds

Enjoyed the thoughtful exchange. I assume-not a intelligent act I know-that you were responding to his statement.

Nice to read the thoughts of the dare I state-unaligned

Seriously, there are bad Conservatives but as the news lately shows, there are far more liberal predators out there abusing their power. This stems from the old liberal view of "if it feels good, do it". This was a good story except for that. Now when I read your stories, I will be looking for the bias and that will probably taint what I read.

Co-worker at work gave me shit about my comment on Trump and how he treats women. She made it a point of talking to people in the (rural) field [so I could hear] about how they got it right about guns. Months later, she shut her mouth after she over head that my three kids were going to inherit a series of firearms from a relative. What you want to see, you will see. World is not black and white. Shades of grey. Either you care about people, or you either manipulate them or are manipulated by them. Your call.

Good up to rushed ending and political bull shit. Dems just cant help themselves

Oh dear, politics down below. Author comments about politics. That's even worse. I...I'm going to re-read Inferno.

Which brings to mind a story I read not too long ago about some Hal or someone changing politics and the world and some jet fighters were involved. It was in non-erotic. Sounds like a good place for politics. I like my authors fairly amorphous...the less I know, the better.

like the story, didn't care for that weird political bit.

a very very good libertarian independent reporter that i love tuning into talks about his experiences working for years and years with democrats and leftists at big media outlets. His impression is "the word conservative was never used to categorize someone on a political spectrum, but rather as an othering"

Basically leftists only use that word as a derogatory dog-whistle. The enemy, the other. The irony is many leftists think the government is corrupt and bad at their job, their solution....more government! A conservative at their heart believes in smaller and more constrained government as to prevent or minimize corruption. That's it.

Before you try to demonize me, I am more libertarian myself. But I understand that anyone to the right of Karl Marx is now considered "literally hitler".

A character's political views are every bit as relevant as his religious affiliation, his favorite sports team, the car he drives, where he lives, what he does for a living, his family size, whether or not he has a military background, and a myriad of other details. Because that is all it is...a detail. If you are offended I suggest you either ignore it or write a better story.

LIBERAL ASS HOLE..

You turned that one around. I expected it to.go the other way.

How? How did this tripe ever score over 4 (as of 2/15/19)? In fact, how did it score over 3? It is without a doubt one of the most poorly written short stories I've seen in a while. I'll grant you that I liked the story. But that's about it.

You got one thing wrong in your story. Cory the boss was a liberal, not a conservative. Only a liberal could be so self-righteous, bitter, and oblivious to their own faults.

At least American "conservative". Hideously greedy, blatant cheat, rapist, criminal and a small dick? Coupled with a minor god complex, and a false sense of supiriority? All y'all Rebublicans would elect this guy without a single thought.

Well written, very few grammatical errors. The good guys have to win a few of them without all the gut wrenching drama. Folks need to forget this liberal/conservative bs.. who cares! It's a story for Christ sakes.

Good story to read again. Really good setup on the asshole. Leave out the political garbage though.

If my wife trusted me like this I know she would help me out but we wouldn't go as far as all of that kissing and contact. No way would I want my wife to have her face inches away from another cock.

That one snuck up on me a little bit. Pretty good twist.

In just one newscast, I heard a mainstream media news anchor refer to the current sitting President as Mr. Trump... something I have not noticed not even once in my lifetime before our current President. But Mr. Joe Biden was referred to as Vice President Joe Biden. I could not believe the unprofessional reporting on mainstream media.

But nobody knew. He got a saturday night special off the street and killed Sandy and Dave. After cleaning out Sandy's accounts (when he shot her in her knee she gave him all her passwords to try and save her life) he disappeared - never to be seen again. The end.

Your comment is incorrect. There are multiple instances of the Media using Mr during President Obama`s terms. New York Times used Mr for both Obama and Trump. There are some people/organizations that use Mr when dealing with personal issues with President when dealing with issues of the office.

Smart to insult half your readers at the end....

Needed to be longer...

Some media, like the New York Times and Wall Street Journal, use honorifics as part of their stylebook. Title in the first usage, then honorifics subsequently. Makes me wonder about when they get to a really nasty character, do they use “Mr Hitler”?

Insult half the readers, how? We got us a snowflake in the comments!

Lol. Right wing nut jobs triggered. For your own sakes as authors, it seems that the partisan pontificating from both progressive and conservative leaning writers truly hurts your stories. The fact that you'll all continue doing it tells us you don't care about the story.

Living in Ireland where journalists haven't become activists it pisses me off to see this forum being used to score cheap political points. It's obvious to everyone outside USA that media is 90% left leaning (as am i) and gave President Trump a tougher time then President Biden. So stop the stupid point scoring. It won't end well...each side will annoy the other side so much everyone stops reading. Look at MSM ratings ...down to record lows. Grow up. TC Ireland.

Fast story. Good read.

OK, I liked the story enough to give it a 4. I agree that the dig at conservative punditry was surplus to the requirements, but also don't think anyone should take it all that seriously. The leap of logic that if a character expresses a political opinion, it must be that of the writer, is a suspect one. Hooked1957 got flailed for this in his recent story "Regrets Not Mine" and I still think that, (a) the bias read into the character's comment may have been a misinterpretation, and (b) even if it was deliberate, it was something said by the CHARACTER. Opinions expressed by a character do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. And it's all fiction, anyway.

QM

Low score, 2*s only as idiot author had to put politics in at the end. Real smart ostracizing half your audience. I don't care liberal or conservative, just plain stupid to do.

Load of fucking rubbish

This author is a moron and putting his stupid opinion of politics in it made a stupid story even more stupid.

Lol, he is a very untalented writer and chump.

About the last few comments.

1/ It is people who don't believe others have the right to speak up who break into government buildings.

2/ All writers have the right to express their opinions.

3/ If this story offends your political nose, go read someone else's. There are so many on this site.

Except for the stupid throw away line to irritate conservatives, this was, well done. This to see Paul there to witness the end. Expected the cops sooner.

Mfj

Great story. Sandy was a true loving wife. She knee something had happened to her husband. The video made it obvious he was trashed and being set up. Corey was an egotistical dumbass who got served justice.

Nice twist. This should be rated higher.

loved the outcome, but the writing seemed jerk-ey to me, not that I could do any better...

badly written and stupid on so many levels.

Incredible acting,the art of deception is great!Do they get a Oscar for their performance? I think so.But the planing was like that T.V.episodes Leverage.Corey was use to the high now he'll get the lows,the inmates will be the giver an he the taker,the panties that he's been collecting as trophies will be underneath his prison grays.His ass will never be the same.keep writing the good stuff I like it,oh! And I rate this as a 6 bye!

At best, this is an outline to a story. It has a lot of holes. 2 stars, and that's being generous.

Loved it! You managed to tell a great tale AND piss off the rush Limbaugh fanatics in one fell swoop. WELL PLAYED! DMW aka Sumnut96

What the hell was the point of this? "The Sayings of the Conservative talking heads" It didn't fit into the otherwise decent story.

Crazy story but I liked it, I try not to read the stuff between the lines. Two years after my husband had his fling, some details made it through the grapevine, he denied it but I was left steaming for months. Then I met a young man who'd just split with his longtime girlfriend, despite our age difference, we hit it off immediately and met up once or twice a week, talked, laughed, compared notes, the other's wingman. The Tuesday evening before Thanksgiving I went to his apartment, it was hot wild, multiple orgasms for me, I loved it when he came in me, twice. It eased up after a couple of months but every now and then...

Expertly planned, brilliantly executed. Great twist.

Pretty good story with a nice twist.

I did have one minor criticism - why and how would the guy's sport coat be company property?

Nothing against author but itisn't conservatives who are the hypocrites you find these scum in every party but most ar progressives

Again, I feel like I'm reading a shopping list rather than a story.

Sandy was great! Pretty unique story compared to the riff raff of tropes out there.

And to some of the crtics: people cheated at the same rate regardless of political ideology. Or have you forgotten how quickly how many Fox News talking heads got hammered for sexual harassment or other perversions. Tribalism where you blame the other tribe for unspeakable acts and deny commonalities of humanity is just dumb. No greater example that the shit$heads who swallowed QAnon hook, line, and sinker.

Good story. Still needed some flesh on the bones. 4 stars.