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Click hereDangling between my thighs was his thick organ. I quickly stepped backward and glanced down between our bodies. It had grown in both length and girth and was protruding somewhat prominently from his curly locks.
I sucked in a breath and looked up at him in alarm. "How...?"
Dolphus chuckled and pulled me back into his arms. "You have much to learn about the male anatomy. Don't be alarmed. I will not take you tonight."
I relaxed in his arms, allowing his warmth and smooth voice to soothe me. Sleep was not far off.
"You should be flattered that you have this affect on me. I've not once experienced it outside breeding season."
********
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 6 years agoI liked your story so much I'm doing a second read through of it. I think I found a mistake and I would like to be corrected if I'm wrong, but I recall the word "clicks" is used as a measure of distance. You used it to refer to the temperature of Dolphus' body early on in the chapter. I looked the word up to see if it could be used with temperature, but I didn't find anything. So, you may want to consider replacing that word with another. I absolutely love love love this story, though. It'll keep me binge reading from beginning to end :)
Anonymousover 6 years agoI really like this. You've immersed me in a world of fantasy and I can't get enough. You have an amazing writing style and amazing ideas.
Anonymousabout 7 years agoI love the story so far. It is very plausible in the magical world. I am ready for the next chapters. Thanks
Anonymousover 7 years agoFor example, in the 2nd to last sentence, it should be "effect", not "affect". Other than that, very well-written and creative. 😊 Liking it so far, keep up the good work.
Anonymousover 7 years agoI think that in writing in any of the categories, there needs to be good story crafting. I see it here. In writing about Nonhumans there is the balance of new words and names with what is familiar. You handled this balance well. This is readable and creative and I look forward to finishing the novella.
Anonymousabout 8 years agoIt's not often I come across a novella that's finished and posted all at once. I am grateful for not having to wait! This is well written and I enjoyed it very much. I look forward to the next chapter. Great work madam!
Andrewmsailingalmost 9 years agoThank you. I am about to read all the other episodes immediately. I am engaged with the characters and I greatly value your gentle approach to her innocence. I take pleasure in the absence of redundant apostrophes. I have also enjoyed the other comments, particularly the detection of your anachronism.
FrannySmurfabout 9 years agoThank you for this! It was an amazing start! I get board with the same story over and over... This is a breath of fresh air!! I can't wait for more!!
D_Lynnabout 9 years agoAuthorTo everyone who posted feedback, thank you very much. I've read each comment many times.
@cittran: Great catch with the 'nanosecond'. It never occurred to me, but you're absolutely right.
@ShawnSwift: In reading back through my text, during my edits, the 'sodomize' reference stood out to me, too, but I didn't change it. You caught me in a lazy moment - won't happen again. Not sure I agree with the rest of your assessment as Ashira was not raised a slave and was actually well-educated. Dolphus was the son of human father and would've developed good verbal skills from him.
Cherrypeachabout 9 years agoGreat story. Leave everything as it is and ignore the last 2 comments. Being a slave doesn't mean being a functional illiterate! I like articulate characters,so keep up the great work!
