All Comments on 'A Small Indiscretion Ch. 04'

This shirt chapter did little to advance the plot or draw me further in. If the story doesn't begin to resolve soon, I'm not going to stick it out.

Chapter 37 where Sherry mops the kitchen.

Chapter 38 where Dave reaches for the phone, wait for the amazing cliffhanger!

Chapter 39 where he discovers it's a telemarketer and hangs up.

this needs to move along pretty soon as i know i will lose interest

from whom are they sent and why. TK U MLJ LV NV

I feel like I'm driving on a two lane road, stuck behind a delivery truck driver who is getting paid by the hour.

So what was the point of the meeting with Susan? And what was the point of Susan agreeing? Susan seemed a lot more talkative and remorseful when she called Sherry while Dave was confessing. What happened to Susan's remorse and contrition? Guess will learn that around, say, chapter 43?

I know how difficult it is to put these pages together though. People who haven't written a story yet don't realize that these two pages on this site is really about 12 pages in a word document. You really want to get the next chapter out there for your readers who are waiting for it. When you have other things in your life to contend with your attention (job, family, housework, hobbies) then it becomes difficult to put out a 4 page story that equals about 28 pages in word.

I do like the story. I have to agree with the frustration on where you cut the story off though. My suggestion is that you completely finish writing the story first before you start posting it. That way when the last chapter is out you are simply making adjustments on the next one.

As for the story, it is a good one that is filled with emotion. Most people seem to think that she should just get over it and forgive. That is not as easy as it sounds though when you have been hurt. We, as the outside audience, haven't been hurt by Dave's action. So for us, we can look at his deed through the eyes of logical beings. She has her emotions to contend with as she looks at his infidelity.

That being said, I think that she is completely wrong for testing him like this. The fact that he had a date, told her about it, and asked her to come along should have been enough to pass the test. She is playing with fire. I believe that anybody can do anything given the right circumstances. A single mother who has a hungry kid can become a prostitute. A man who has never committed a crime can rob a bank if he has the right motivation. A husband who has no thought to cheat can be tempted past the point of no return if a beautiful naked woman is throwing herself at him. People have a limit on to what they can handle. Obviously, being drunk with a willing woman is his limit. He may avoid cheating in the future by doing what he tried to do this time. He chose to bring his wife along with him when he feels tempted. He turned to her and she just threw him to work it out on his own. Bad wife move.

Even Jesus was tempted in the Bible. Being tempted means that you have the opportunity to do something that you REALLY WANT TO DO. He was alone in the desert for 40 days, which is why one of the temptations was food. Now I don't believe in God, but I know that the story of Jesus was that he was perfect. So, if even a perfect man was tempted, then why is it wrong for this husband to be tempted? Wanting to sleep with another woman other than his wife is not infidelity. Taking steps to insure your fidelity is what people do. He tried to do that, but she is determined to go through with a test that he may fail.

Seeing how she was in a similar situation should open her eyes to his plight and respect his effort. I hope this works out for them.

... this one has definitely stalled somewhere in the middle. At least, I hope this is the middle. At the snail's pace you seem to be going, it's really hard to tell.

that is what I now do. This story have far too many words to use valuable time on.

tune in next week for another agonizing mini chapter.

give up, u a g i.

**

I am wondering if sherry ever truly loved Dave.

She threw him out after honesty,when it should have been guest room. She separated him from the support of mom and son. She went out with divorced boss that has multiple failed marriages.

Then allows him to disrobe her in the woods.

Sherry can't be that nieve and does not consider disclosing this to Dave. When he calls for help she walks away. She was wronged but her three wrongs doesn't make it any better.

Any believability this story had got shot in the head in the last chapter and nuked from orbit (just to be sure) in this one. Mother's kinda tend to stick by their children no matter what, as can be seen in so many murder/rape trials. Dave's actions while bad, were nowhere near the level that his own mother would go along with him being setup like in this chapter.

Also, a two page posting on a story this drawn out is just bullshit tho considering this authors previous work I'm not surprised.

I forgot what really happened

It would appear that A_L plans to drag this one out.

I have enjoyed reading this effort and would like to see a little faster pace toward the conclusion. Thanks for you effort.

I know the perils of working long hours on building sites far from home. It can kill relationships but every couple must sort it out in their own way.

He pays for what he did but she a lying cheating slut with her boss and thats ok with the parents get real.Then they set him up with a ho .This reads like a woman is writing it .And who really thinks susan is really married and not a payed ho.This whole thing is a sit up. The wife would have put a pi on susan to see what her storie is or the hubby . Nobody is this stupid unless your in a stang story!!!

IT PISSED OF DEAR ANNONY. THE FAG OF LIT!!

And cover more things in the chapters. By the time you finish this, no one will be reading it. (Note the falling readership from the first chapter). And I really had to laugh at the notion that Sherry would get on an airplane, fly to a meeting with her husband's lover and then spend less than 5 minutes with the woman and basically say nothing. I'm not sure I know anyone that dumb. Besides, by sending another woman to test her husband's fidelity she's already sealed their fate. When he finds out, he's going to divorce her. No trust equals no marriage. And get a better editor. So many grammar mistakes make this even harder to stick with. If you drag this out much longer I'll have to go back and re-read earlier chapters as I forget what has happened. Speed it up!

I find it a little strange that she is holding his fling over his head and then go about testing him with someone else when he told her about it but then she don't think what happened to her he should know about it. A little double standard?

As I presumed in part1...The mixing plots in the story will turn it in a very long one...3*

The story is not too bad as long as I can remember what happened to start all the trouble. It is just dragging on too long. Sorry about the anonymous but I can't remember my sign in but my pc remembers it so I don't worry about it.

Too SLOW!!!!

I find this....bizarre!!!

His mother is bemoaning raising a man like this all the while lying to him and manipulating him. As it looks now he is twice as good a person as his mom thinks she is and way better then the wife he is also lying a manipulating him. The bad part is this will all get turned around the make the wife and mother look like saints.

Can you tell us how many installments total?

A good story, but you don't have to detail every breath they take...

The story is about THEIR RELATIONSHIP... screw everything else...

How long to you plan on making this story. Please longer chapters and close it soon. I do not get Dave taking his worker to a dance club, who is hot for him. Even if separated, this is taboo. His after thought was to invite his estranged wife along. Then agreeing to go out more,and he wants to save his marriage. Not making any sence here. And too short a chapter. So he will cheat again. Stay away from tempt ion. Still have no idea where you are taking this story?

Hubby going on a date borders on im imbicilic.

Wifey is doing nothing to try to get past it. His mother is offering him no support whatsoever.

I would feel this way, no matter who cheated. The perp admitted his transgretion and tried to make amends.

To me it seems like wifey, whether she admits it or not, wants out anyways so she is using this as her excuse and playing the martyr the whole time.

Dave or Scott get nearly killed or killed by some conspirator.

The women all confess to actually loving him all along.

Someone (Cindy?) figures if she can't have him, no one can.

Stella becomes the source of the "accidents" as she's having an affair (with Susan's husband) and wants Scott to be conveniently dead by "accident".

How about this as Chapter 05:

Sherry finally embraces that she's actually a repressed, angry lesbian, who's been trapped by her Irish/Catholic upbringing, and is venting her decades of suppressed rage upon Dave. Raging partly for the satisfaction of repressing someone, anyone other than the grandparents of my child. (a girl needs babysitters ya know)

Instead of just coming out and saying:

Cindy and I are an item, you can watch, or you can leave. We're keeping my son. BTW, Cindy's husband lusts for you Dave, hop the fence and give it a try. Yvvone is our plaything too, so don't even... or I'll Lorena Bobbitt your ass. Oh, and if anyone asks?

I'll tell them you're a lousy lay, a wife-beater, and I don't trust you around our son or other children. Beware my wrath Dave... now fuck-off and die, I'm done with you.

Just make certain your alimony and support check is deposited to my account or I'll slap your ass in prison so fast you won't have time for a good waxing before becoming Prison Prom Queen.

~ The End

This is a cure for insomnia.

accomplish?

Gave it a 5

because it is getting a little drawn out, though there is a lot of pathos being shown on all sides. Sherry is a hypocritical cunt wife who is stripped in the woods by her naked boss, lets her breasts be molested, and lets him finger fuck her while she lusts for his big cock which is oozing with pre-cum. And she has the nerve to let her husband wallow in remorse in a lonely room. Dave is a hypocritical jerk that lets his dick-head do his thinking for him. He can't keep his eyes off all the available eye candy around him. Then he puts himself in very dangerous and vulnerable spot with the young Yvonne. Yet, he supposedly wants to get back together with his wife.

Yes, it's all part of the story, but my biggest problems are all the British words being used in Washington State. Gave it 4 *'s because at least you proofread. But that may change in further episodes.

someone figures something out ,what a thriller.if you drag this out like it appears you are doing,the quality of the story drops.4 chapters could be reduced to 1 or 2 and i might be looking forward to the next one,but i'm not.maybe you could show some sort of headway on one of the plot lines.p.s.there is an old beatup pickup following you.

And the characters are so fucking white-bread.

I give up

Reads like a soap opera. Please don't stretch it out too long. Did Susan plant the mickey to seduce Dave? You've a lot of gray areas started. Shenanigans afoot to be squared away. Cheers!

War And Peace on Literotica. Stop while you're not ahead. Get a real English speaking editor next time.

I've stated how there can be many plot turns, but I don't like this test with Yvonne. This will come back to bite the "two wives". Sherry is playing with fire and could lose everything. The trouble in Dave's assistant's marriage is a surprise, albeit unwelcome. It seems Yvonne is young - early 20s, so what's with her big play for Dave? Even if she'd agreed to do this for Sherry and her cousin, she's coming on way too strong for such a short period of time.

Still, I really like your story.

It amazes me that 90% or more of the naysayers don't respond with their Literotica ID. They must be ashamed of themselves.

For those who complain about it being too slow or too long, I suggest quit reading the story - oh, but then what would you have to bitch about?????

I may not live long enough to see Chapter 200!!!

He gets drunk and fucks a strange woman. He's probably going to screw little Yvonne if she hugs him again. She has a few drinks sucks her boss' tongue, gets her breasts groped and licked, then lets him stick a finger up her pussy. They're both cheaters, which makes her a major hypocrite at this point. She throws her husband out of the house for cheating once, while she isn't much better. The boss is a despicable fuck, who's playing games just to get into her panties. Yvonne is a slut in training. I agree with some other comments. This is like a slow motion soap opera. The only ones that are likable are the parents, AND THEY AREN'T THE MAIN CHARACTERS. I like your writing and generally give you high scores, but please move this along. It's starting to grow moss.

Will this end the same with no resolve??

Hard to imagine how the 'sabotage' subplot links with the main (I think) theme of this opus! Likewise the detail in the personal lives of subsidiary characters. These sidelines are dragging down the pace of the story, and I cannot see how they will enhance the eventual moral of the tale!

It is even harder to imagine that both Hubby AND Sweetie, during a major crisis involving extramarital sex, can each get distracted by romantic extramarital forays ... and one of those is deliberately set up as a test of fidelity. IF this test is uncovered or inadvertently disclosed, it would (and SHOULD) irretrievably alienate Hubby!

There's a difference between 'nay-saying' and giving a critical comment.

Some authors want more than praise. Hopefully, alex_lover is one of them.

I've read the series, because I'm curious. For me, it drags, although I haven't bothered to comment up to now. Nonetheless, the comment is a legitimate reaction from some readers -- or, it CAN be, rather than mere hostility. Some people can see the difference, and aren't threatened by the feedback.

The author can write the story any way he wishes, that's up to him. But all feedback can be taken on board and used constructively.

One other comment .. I don't have a log-in name. The site is open to everyone and does not require registration.

Is the suggestion that I log in with a "real" name, such as 'smut-reader' or 'boner_in_LA' or whatever? The only value in that is that it makes it easier to identify poster .. assuming that communication is desired.

I think we've determined that the co-cheater has done this before. How it will affect the tale I know not. I'll continue...

Her cheating is worse because it's premeditated filled with revenge. His is bad but he was very drunk and felt he had to confess as soon as he saw his wife. There is no good excuse for cheating but his wife throws him and is now trying to set him up with a hot young girl that's throwing herself at him. She has become the one doing the most wrong hear. Let her confess all to hubby and see how he reacts , hopefully not like he's so sorry and it's his fault for making her go on a date with her boss , get drunk , make out, get her tits sucked, have him get naked and last but not least gat fingered. She also works with this guy everyday and after getting drunk at dinner let him drive her with more wine to a very romantic seculed spot . I think we see who did so much more damage hear. Look forward to all the aftermath of this tale

Like most commenters I believe the story is dragging. To me the author lets the characters get way too touchy feely then there should be between boss and subordinate. Many times the conversation and looks and actions border on sexual harassment in the work place.

How was Sherry able to contact Susan? I thought they had only 1 short conversation and never exchanged any personal info. And being in a different city to meet her and such a short conversation in the restaurant? Was seeing her the only thing she wanted out of the meeting?

I'm guessing that Yvonne is the bate to test Dave. Why else would Sherry show no emotion over her husband, she doesn't trust, going on a date with a pretty young woman from his office.

1. Get to know something about the construction process in the US (like city councils do not operate private projects)

2. 5YO boys don't "coo" unless they are retarded or mentally hampered.

3. the rhythm and spoeed of development are lacking in a BIG way. Get on with it already. Obviously we are not reading this for the sex scenes (as there are none), so at least make it interesting. You don't need to tell us how many squares of TP he used and how he admonished himself for using extra and how it made him feel for wasting those rain forest trees. (get it?)

As well as giving possibly feeding Dave a date rape drug, Susan's demeanor in responding to Sherry's comment about Susan and Dave ''Both' being married suggests that Susan isn't isn't really married and suggests that she may be a hired prostitute working to discredit Dave and his company.. The unfriendly Municipal Rep and the stealthy, lurking and running observer clearly provides further evidence of a 'set up'. Dan

I HAD TO COME BACK HERE AND WARN EVERYONE WHO IS READING THIS STORY THAT "CHAPTER 5" IS MISSING!

It really fractures the story and makes things very hard to follow....I can't even imagine how you could write a story, have it edited and then forget to include a whole chapter with the submission.....very poor attention to detail.

PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!

It is not the missing chapter that does this story in. The ending is horrible and inexplicable. This author is a really good writer who always seems to set up a quality storyline. Unfortunately, he lets it unravel every time.

Sorry bud, at this point it's gone too far. She let's some three time divorced guy she worked for finger her pussy while he sucked her titts, and loved it, and she's still letting her husband dangle. If you're writing a story to show what's good for the goose is good for the gander, Dave needs to know of her actions. Three stars, trending downward.

Losing interest quickly! Real slow!

So the wife almost sleeps with the boss, and can't believe it happened to her husband just like it happened to her? Then she plots with Cyndi to set him up with her cousin, to see if he'll cheat? Susan probably works for, or is married to whoever is causing the "accidents."

Cyndi's cousin, Yvonne, gets hired and needs someone to show her around. Cyndi works for Dave, she's his Personal Assistant which means she takes care of Dave - it's her job. Now her cousin shows up and throws her slutty self at Dave. If Cyndi was ANY good at her job, and Dave thinks she's the best, she would NEVER allow her slut cousin to get anywhere near Dave. It reflects poorly on her and will make things worse between Dave and his estranged wife.

Dave should know this and realize what's happening. He should realize that Cyndi would not allow her cousin near him, but since she is, he should know something's been planned between Cyndi and Sherry - he knows how close they are. How stupid is this guy? This story is falling apart and the author is letting his readers down. Dave is no longer a "strong" man in my eyes, he can barely prevent himself from cheating with any woman who has large boobs. His wife has already cheated so she's no angel now either. And his mother, good ole "Ma" Harding? There's something wrong with her too, just don't know what yet.

I think Dave will eventually learn that he was set up for the one night stand.

He'll eventually realize that he's currently being set up by his "trusted" wife and PA.

His wife will cheat on him (again) with some guy.

And Dave the pansy will accept everything and put up with it.

What happened to Chapter 05?

The time I spent checking back and looking for the gap was distracting and annoying.

I find it disconcerting enough checking where I got to without being booby-trapped! Contiguous storyline is VITAL for enjoyment, gaps are a problem. This has the makings of a really good story but it has taken a bad turn!

Chapter 5 has been in Laurel's pending queue for many years. This implies she's setting on it for some unknown reason and alex_lover can't fix it to her satisfaction.

It also means we'll almost certainly never read about what happened (gang rape?) to put Stella in the hospital.

Something is missing..no chapter 5 ?