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All Comments on 'A Special Lunch'

by ShortsOnFriday

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
When one of the characters is "you" it is an absolute turn-off!

Never write a story using the reader as one of the characters.

Since the reader knows they did not take part any semblance of realism flies straight out the window!

ShortsOnFridayShortsOnFridayalmost 14 years agoAuthor
using "you" is a turn off

Thank you for that comment. This was my first attempt at a story, and this one was actually written to a "special friend". I'll take your comments into consideration when I write my next story.

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