A Tale of Two New Years

“Dad, you’re right. I’ve never talked to anyone about it. I always thought that it would just go away with time. But I’m not sure if I can talk to you about it.”

“I’m not saying you should, but you do need to talk to someone you can trust.”

“It’s not a matter of trust in you. Let’s just say there are some things that I would rather not tell you, because you’re my father.”

“Understandable, but aren’t you going to see Tommy Anderson tonight?” Max asked.

“Yeah, and?”

“And he was your best friend, so if he’s worth his salt, he would an ideal person to talk to.”

Alex paused for a moment to think. He and Tommy had traveled a lot of roads together. Alex had even helped patch up his relationship with Jane when they had both decided to be irrationally stubborn and escalate a minor miscommunication into a major disagreement.

“I don’t know who else might be there tonight, but if we can talk privately, I’ll do it.”

“That’s all I could ask for,” Max replied, then stood and put his hand on Alex’s shoulder. Smiling, he melodramatically added, “Glad we had this talk, son.”

Max went into the kitchen while Alex remained seated, immobilized by his mixed emotions. Just the prospect of getting some shit off his chest was exhilarating, but anxiety lingered in the uncertainty of where this road would lead. What had Max said? Resurrection, that was it, sure it was a corny metaphor, but it certainly complicated things. Was it even what he wanted? Just too damned many permutations. Alex had never allowed much light to reach this dark and painful recess of his soul.

“Hey, Alex.” Maxed had reappeared. “I’m not trying to get rid of you, but it’s almost seven-thirty and I know you were due at Tommy’s around eight.”

‘Shit,’ thought Alex, surprised to find that he’d been sitting alone with his thoughts for about twenty minutes. “That’s okay. Thanks, actually. I do want to go back to the hotel and clean myself up a bit before going over.”

Alex grabbed his coat and said goodnight to his parents. A hug for his father; a kiss for his mother. He grabbed the beer he had bought earlier and headed out.

As soon as Alex pulled out of the drive, Max searched for the phone book. It was time to call Tommy Anderson.

*****

As Alex drove, his mind tried to contemplate what the evening would bring, but he could not discern any unity among the cacophony of conflicting thoughts that ricocheted within his head.

“Enough!” he shouted and turned on the stereo with the volume just short of distortion. At least the music gave him something on which to concentrate. A cigarette provided an additional outlet for the nervous energy that had seemed to accumulate in every muscle. He stopped at the hotel only long enough to brush his teeth and comb his hair. It was a few minutes after eight when Alex turned onto Smokerise Drive. It was one of the newer, and certainly the most expensive development in town, one five-bedroom monstrosity after another. As he crested a hill, Alex spotted what must be Tommy’s house. Every shrub along the front of the house as well as several evergreens in the yard were aglow. In addition, icicle lights traced the roof line. Alex didn’t envy the electric bill. The house itself was a modern colonial, two stories plus a full attic, the exterior done in cream-colored brick. Alex parked in the drive, walked to the font door and rang the bell.

Presently the door opened, and Tommy’s smiling face appeared. He’d lost the bunny suit and now was dressed in a navy sweatshirt and jeans.

“Alex, come on in!” shouted Tommy. “Let me take those,” he said in a more normal tone as he relieved Alex of the beer.

“Hey, Tommy, nice house,” replied Alex looking around. The walls and carpeting were various shades of beige with floor and crown molding done in oak. ‘How boring,’ thought Alex. To his right was a large living room containing a sofa and love seat, both in black leather and centered between them sat a large brass and glass coffee table. To the left was the dining room outfitted with a matched dining set in golden oak. Straight ahead was a wide, short hallway, on the left lay a stairway, the other side led to the kitchen.

Although he did not see her, Jane’s voice came from kitchen. “Is that really you, Alex?” Smiling, she now appeared in the hallway, ran up to him and gave him a hug. Although simply dressed in a plain white blouse and jeans, she had a body that could make sackcloth look good. Her shoulder-length blonde hair and bright blue eyes didn’t hurt either.

“Yeah, it’s really me.”

“It’s been too long since we saw you. When was it, Mark and Joan’s wedding of October last year?” she asked.

“Sounds right to me.” Alex replied.

“Oh god, I’m such a terrible hostess. Give me your coat.” She turned and hung the coat in a closet underneath the stairs. She took the beer from Tommy. “You and Tommy go into the living room. I’ll put the beer in the fridge and bring us each one.”

“Thanks,” said Alex.

As Alex entered the living room, he observed that in the open floor plan there was an adjoining equivalent space towards the back that had more black leather furniture arching in front of a large screen television at one end and a pool table at the other. Passed the pool table was the kitchen. He and Tommy took seats opposite each other in the living room.

Jane reappeared from the kitchen, handed out the beer and plopped herself down next to Tommy.

Alex raised his in a toast. “Merry Christmas!”

Bottles clinked as the couple returned the toast.

It took about three rounds, but they finally covered all the news of the past fourteen months. Jane’s grandfather had died about a year ago, and, unknown to her family, he had accumulated quite a fortune. Jane ended up with about a half million dollars. That’s how they had been able to buy this house. It also allowed Tommy to expand the construction business, which was doing very well. With the exception of Kim, Tommy and Jane related who had tied the knot, had kids or gotten divorced.

As Jane returned with another three beers, she haltingly said, “So I guess you also heard that Kim is divorced and living with her parents.”

“Yes,” replied Alex, “my mother dropped that bomb on me this morning, but she didn’t have her back in town yet.”

“That was just last week.”

“What happened to Mr. Wonderful, the mega-buck stock broker?” asked Alex, unsuccessfully hiding the bitterness in his voice.

“Oh, he’s still got plenty of money, he just wasn’t so wonderful. The divorce was bitter, and Kim had signed a prenup that she never read too carefully, so she ended up with nothing, especially once the lawyers finished totaling their bill,” said Jane.

“What went wrong?”

“Kim was still on the rebound and rushed into the marriage. From what she told me, what this guy really wanted was a maid. You know, someone to run the house, get the cooking and cleaning done, but didn’t have much interest in her. They rarely had sex. I believe Kim tried to make it work, but in the end sued for divorce. The rest is history.”

“A brief history at that. She couldn’t have been married more than eighteen months.”

“About that,” agreed Jane. “Personally, I think she just said yes to the first guy who asked after you two broke up. Kim never told me much about what drove you apart. I think she was embarrassed to say, so why don’t you tell us. You seemed like such a great couple.”

Alex was greatly relieved by Jane’s question. He’d been nervous all evening about broaching the subject and now he was being invited right in.

“Alright, I’ll tell you what happened,” Alex began as he took a long draft of his beer, “but that doesn’t mean I understand all of it myself. As you know, it all came to a head on New Year’s Eve three years ago, but had begun the previous fall when she had confessed to having had sex once with this guy named Mario at college. She cried, I cried, but we reconciled. It was my first year since graduating, so I was working at my new job and didn’t see her as much as I might have. I guess I could understand her loneliness. But I never fooled around on her.”

Alex finished his beer. “Could I get another? This is thirsty work.” Actually, Alex felt there might not be enough beer in the world to get to the end of the story.

Jane started to rise, when Tommy said, “No, I’ll get them. Just don’t continue till I get back.” Tommy went to the kitchen and after a couple minutes of rattling around, he returned with six beers on ice in a bowl. “Hopefully, this will keep you going.”

“You’re too kind. Thanks,” said Alex as he opened another bottle. “So anyway, for that New Year’s Eve, we had planned a quiet, romantic evening for just the two of us. My parents were spending it with some friends of theirs in Philly and staying overnight, so it seemed the ideal plan. But on the thirtieth, Mario calls Kim. He’s going to be in the city for New Year’s Eve with some other people from the college and invited her to join them. Kim summarily decides that’s where she’s going, and, by the way, I was welcome to come along. So I ask who else will be there. It’s going to be Mario and three other guys I don’t even know.

“For whatever reason, I decided to go. I didn’t want to, but I felt like I had to. Right now I couldn’t tell you if it was jealousy or mistrust or both, but in any case I started the evening in a less then festive mood. We met them at this bar near Times Square. Since I was driving, I had only one beer, but Kim and these guys have quite a few. I felt like a chaperone and that these guys, maybe even Kim too, resented my presence. Eventually, we went out to watch the ball drop. When it did, of course everyone had to kiss Kim. When Mario kissed her it was definitely a bit more than a standard good luck kiss. They weren’t swapping spit, but damned close. Then as it broke off, that son of a bitch Mario looked at me over Kim’s shoulder, with a smirk that let me know he’d fucked her more than once and would do so again.”

“How could you know that from just one look?” asked Jane.

Alex wasn’t certain if Jane was trying to stick up for Kim or was truly unconvinced. He looked at Tommy for reassurance.

“You can tell,” Tommy said. “Maybe it’s just a guy thing, but I can believe it.”

“But you didn’t know for sure,” countered Jane.

“No, I couldn’t prove it,” Alex continued, “but my instincts told me it was so. Damn it was humiliating! By two a.m., I’d had enough for one night and told Kim it was time to go since I was the one who had to drive. She got petulant and started bitching about it being New Year’s Eve and not really being that late. This pushed me over the edge. I told her that if she wanted to stay that was fine, but I was going home. Kim reluctantly said good-bye with kisses for everyone, while I got ‘you poor dumb bastard’ looks from these guys.”

Alex was on his sixth beer now and his anger rose as he related the events to Jane and Tommy. He no longer looked at them, just blankly stared at the coffee table as the images replayed in his mind.

“We walked back and got in the car, both so pissed at each other that neither of us spoke until we were back in Jersey. Then she let in to me about spoiling a good time and that I had ruined New Year’s. I lost my temper and started shouting at her. It was her good time, not mine. Did she ever stop and consider my feelings about getting together with a guy she had screwed on the side? Did she ask if we should change our New Year’s plans? No, and no. I couldn’t control my rage and told her what had really pissed me off was that I knew she had been carrying on her affair with Mario and that it hadn’t been a one-time thing like she’d told me. She started to deny it, but when I turned and looked at her, her eyes gave her away, plus she was biting her nails, like she always did when she was nervous. We haven’t said another word to each other since. She sobbed and sniffled the rest of the way, while I tried to crush the steering wheel with my hands and set the land speed record to her house. I couldn’t get her out of my sight soon enough.”

“Holy shit!” said Tommy shaking his head. “I had no idea. Did you, Jane?”

“Well,” she said, “Kim had sort of intimated that she had not been one-hundred percent faithful to Alex, but she never said anything about carrying on with this Mario guy. You really haven’t spoken to her since, Alex?”

“Nope. She called a couple of times, but I wouldn’t speak to her. I wouldn’t answer the phone and told my parents that if she called to tell her I was out. I was just too devastated by her betrayal. Here I was, looking for a new job to get my salary up so I could ask her to marry me after she graduated. Shit, I’d even been poking around jewelry stores looking at rings. What a fucking idiot!”

Some tears welled up in Alex’s eyes. Embarrassed, he turned away to wipe them on his sleeve and regain his composure.

“That’s when I decided to expand my job search. If I stayed here, there would be no way to avoid her. We have too many friends in common. So I quickly found that job in Virginia.”

“How’s that working out for you?” asked Jane. “And I don’t mean professionally; you already told us about that. I mean socially.”

“I presume you mean my love life,” Alex responded. “It’s so and so. I’ve had my share of one-night stands and short spurts of dating a few girls, but nothing lasting more than a month. That’s the irony. After all the hurt and the distance between us, she’s still got a grip on me and I can’t seem to escape it.”

“No denying that,” said Tommy. “Is there anything we can do to help?”

“You already have. This is the first time I’ve ever told anybody what happened, so it has been a catharsis to finally let it all out.”

“You mean you’ve been lugging that baggage around all this time and never told anyone? Not even your parents?” Jane asked incredulously.

“I couldn’t talk to my parents about it. There was too much sex involved for me to be comfortable discussing it with them. After the break-up, I withdrew from the social scene here and then I moved to Virginia. I certainly didn’t know anyone there when I moved and even when I knew some people well enough to spill my guts to, it still didn’t seem right. I’ve known you guys since high school and it was still hard to do. Who wants to go out and tell someone your sad-ass tale of being cuckolded?”

“I see your point. That’s a pretty big blow to any guy’s ego,” Tommy stated sympathetically.

“Damn, you two are a bunch of sorry-ass wimps!” Jane exclaimed as the other two stared at her blankly, stunned by her outburst. “Kim breaks Alex’s heart. He runs away like some cowardly lion and now Tommy gets a lip-biting Clintonesque ‘I fell your pain’ moment. It’s enough to make me puke. Show some balls, call her; go see her; let her know what she did to you. Tell her what you told us. Even though she’s my friend, I know Kim could be a bitch. She tested my patience at times. But she was always reserved her Queen Bitch moments for people she didn’t respect. Regardless of how else she might have felt about you Alex, she obviously didn’t respect you. Maybe if you’d taken a stand about New Year’s, it would have been different. Maybe she was testing you. I don’t know. But you were too nice to her and let her get away with too much crap.”

Tommy could see the Alex was stung by the rebuke. Contrary to Jane’s remarks, he did feel for his friend, so he flippantly said, “Shit, Jane, don’t sugar-coat it. Tell us how you really feel.”

Alex smiled half-heartedly. At least there was one sympathetic ear in the house and it lessened the blow.

“I’m sorry Alex. I didn’t say it to be mean,” said Jane.

“That’s okay,” replied Alex; he knew that Jane was right. “I deserved it. I’ve needed a good kick in the butt for quite some time. As unpleasant as it might have been, I should have confronted her, but it’s too late for that now.” Alex paused. He felt an undeniable need for a cigarette. “I don’t want to stink up your house, but it’s damned cold outside, so would it be alright if I had a cigarette in your garage?”

“Sure,” said Tommy, “or better yet, just use the solarium. It’s out the sliding door from the kitchen. Crack one of the windows if you don’t mind. There should be an empty flower pot you can use for an ash tray.”

“Thanks.”

Alex left the room. Jane and Tommy heard the sliding door open and close.

“Tommy, I’ve already invited Kim the party we’re having on New Year’s Eve. I know we should invite Alex since he’d get a chance to see his old friends, and he needs to see Kim, even though it could be a combustible situation. What do you think?”

“I was thinking the same thing,” he replied, “We owe Alex a lot. He helped us reconcile, when we had a problem. I’m willing to take the chance.”

“Good, because I have been talking to Kim almost every day since she moved back. She’s actually a better person now – a little humility was something she always needed. I doubt she’d let it escalate into a major scene. With what Alex told us, so much of what Kim has alluded to now makes sense. She realizes she screwed up the best thing she ever had and would give about anything to get it back. Just let me handle inviting Alex, okay?”

“Sure, but I should…” Tommy stopped as they heard the sliding door open once again.

Alex swayed as he walked in and sat down. The smoke and the cool air had been refreshing, but in returning to the warmth of the house, he suddenly felt very tired and a little dizzy. He looked at his watch.

“Midnight,” Alex said through a yawn, “I really should be going. You’ve been awfully kind and I’ve kept you up long enough.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Tommy told him. “You are in no condition to drive. I’d never forgive myself if you got arrested, or worse, in an accident. You’ll sleep here. It’s not open for debate. Come on buddy, I’ll show you where you can crash.”

Alex didn’t argue. The allure of a sleep was overwhelming. Tommy led Alex upstairs to a bedroom and sat him on the bed.

“Just give me a minute,” said Tommy, “and I’ll get you one of my tee shirts to sleep in.”

Tommy returned to find Alex lying on the bed fast asleep. Tommy covered him with a blanket, turned out the light and closed the door. “Sleep well, my friend.”

*****

Alex was awoken by sunlight rudely streaming through the window. His eyes opened and it took a moment to realize where he was. ‘Oh yeah. Tommy’s house.’ He took stock of his condition. He checked his watch to learn that it was already nine. His mouth was dry and tasted like an old sock. He needed to take a piss. A minor headache throbbed with each heartbeat. He sat up. Correction, major headache. Gingerly, he willed himself to stand and shuffled out of the room in search of the head. Mercifully, it was across the hall. After relieving himself, he washed his hands and face. While drying off, he looked in the mirror. He couldn’t remember looking worse. His bloodshot eyes observed that each strand of hair was growing a unique direction; he needed a shave and his shirt had more wrinkles than Mother Theresa… ‘What the fuck do you expect after a night of drinking and, oh yeah, pouring your heart out.’ Alex couldn’t determine if that pain had been expunged, or was just overpowered by the hangover, but right now, deep thought was not on the horizon. ‘Oh well, time to face the day.’

The aroma of fresh coffee greeted Alex as he entered the hallway and he followed it downstairs to the kitchen. Jane and Tommy were sitting at a table, each holding a mug and reading a section of the local newspaper. Their neat and freshly dressed appearance contrasted starkly with his.

Tommy turned to him, smiled and said, “My, my, look what the cat dragged in.”

“Very funny,” mumbled Alex, not in the mood for humor.

“Good morning to you too!” beamed Jane. She stood, walked to the coffee maker on the counter and removed another mug from the cabinet above. “Can I get you some coffee?”