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The very version first chapter used to start with Kiowa packing while her mother was nervous instead of her traveling in Pion's car. What are your thoughts on switching it back?
Cheers and Happy Reading,
~Talyis.
- COMMENTS
Dessertmanover 1 year agoI assume English is not your native language as many of your expressions are quite strange. However I like the underlying story and you capture the strangeness of a radically changed world well.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoI do think the first two chapters seem out of order. it was bothersome to me reading it. I agree you should switch them back.
Synapsisabout 9 years agoI'm enjoying the world you've built, but the chapters are way too short. Nothing of any consequence happens in them. I'm going to keep reading, but I feel like the best thing you could do to improve the story is increase the chapter lengths by at least threefold.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoI am so happy i stumbled onto your story. Bravo, this story seems like its going to keep me occupied for nights to come. I adore your work. This story gives us a whole new world. I like that you put history and depth behind the plot. I'm hooked.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoIt's your story. Don't drift in the wind and allow the readers to influence you.
