All Comments on 'Afterall We Are In Vegas'

I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this sexy adventure. ;)

No matter where you are you don't have to be discard familial value practice at home and if you do, you are a hiprocrite or a mental case.

Past tense would work much better. More dialogue and quotation marks used properly would help. Shorter paragraphs would improve the reading.

Good start. Grammar, punctuation and dialogue are at issue for me but are nothing that can't be fixed. Nice tease which is fine as long as there is more and the story doesn't end here. Personally I like the dominance aspect of the story as long as it doesn't go too far. Not a huge cuckold fan at all so if you stay away from that end of the spectrum I'll definitely read more. Keep up the good work.

And please ignore the right wing conservative porn watcher/readers they are an oddity that no one really understands. Their highly Christian and Moral value preaching continually remind me of Jerry Springer meets Jimmy Swaggert. Definitive places of moral high ground.

First, I gave it 5 stars.

However, spell-checkers don't catch homophones (but should have caught 'buustier') - you should ALSO use a grammar checker or a LIT editor.

Heal (verb) - heel (noun)

Desert (sand around LV) - dessert (sweet at Circo)

Taught (past tense of teach) - taut (tight)

Roles (character in a play) - rolls (bread at Circo or turning like a wheel)

- Forgivable - invite is now often substituted for invitation

- 'Make conjecture' could be just 'conjecture'

- 'Definitive' is a bit too strong, 'definite' fits better

- 'Center herself EQUAL DISTANCE' is redundant

- There's only one man in the room besides Hubby, the narrator...so 'between me and him' is more efficient...it also solves 'him' moving from chair to couch then back to chair!

(There are a fair number of typos I glossed over!)

Last, I gave it 5 stars. (understand this is redundant!)

More, please.

I love this story... it reminds me of the first time my hubby watched me. Please don't make us wait to long for the continuation of the story.

Anonymous dost protest too much? Why did you read it if you thought it was sick? Perhaps you need to be a little more honest with yourself?

These idiot Vegas stories are all the same. Apparently this guy stayed in Vegas and didn't write again.