All Comments on 'AfterBurn'

No one is interested in transgender, here.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Couldn't get past the trans reveal, as I couldn't tell which way he/she was transing to. Decided male to female, but thought Puma was bouncing that way also. Never figured Layla's deal out. Guess she missed cock. You lured me in with BTB, but happily, I slipped the hook and noped out. Don't know how it ended, but I guess this was a lot of loving wives.

I started to leave the WTF comment, then saw that was exactly the second comment already made. So bad it's kind of a giggle. I'm not much on catagory disputes, but LW for this? Really?

Once you published the reveal I lost total interest LW not the place to peddle this rubbish. Jumped straight to comments to find I'd made a smart decision by the comment posted. I won't rate it as I didn't read it but good luck on the rest of your feedback.

I found your story concept entertaining..it was a fun read, however l don’t think it belongs in the LW category..good luck with the sequel:)

Could not work out what this was after 2 pages sorry gave up o score as didn't read all.

cup of tea

What a load of shit ! Transgender. Fuck you! You suck .think of a good story and them trash it as you can't write.

changing partners will never be dull. TK U MLJ LV NV

I think your confused, this was a little too much for me

Margaret Thatcher once said "being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to tell people you are then you aren't". Think about that next time you shout "girl power".

Also "it's about time we saw (insert allegedly underrepresented and/or victimized group here) in (story category)" What next, an ethics/race/gender, etc quota system to make sure all allegedly victimized groups get represented in each category?

Those two items at the beginning made it hard to even try to enjoy the story with whatever civil war social justice "warriors" have going on between Trans and TERF being in the mix. ( one does not think of "warriors" as the type needing safe spaces or being hurt by words)

but the yuck factor was a little too high for me, but that's just personal taste.

Political sexuality is an uncomfortable concept to me.

But, weather the storm of criticism, don't be surprised by it, and keep writing.

Read till I got to "transgender". Fuck your story.

Echoing another comment, lots to enjoy, promote thought and remind us that there is a wide spectrum of orientation and relationship dinamics. Thanks from a boring monogamous, straight old fart

This is the BTB-est LW-est story on LW. It just happens to star a girl-power TG, and both aspects were given a heads up. Those 1*ing it have no excuse but their own phobic stupidity. I for one do NOT think LW should become the new KKK.

I always thought the LW 1* bed wetting whiners like One-Word-Cuck were just phobic. Jessica's latest experiment proves it. A solid LW story that happens to be about a TG, for that matter any LGBT character, and they want segregated. Why stop there? Next, these bigots will want separate LW categories for black people, American Indians, people with disabilities, etc. Well done Jessica. You flushed out the prey, and they shot themselves.

Wrong category... should be in "Transsexuals & Crossdressers".

There's a hierarchy of categories... if your story contains elements of things like:

BDSM

Gay male

Incest

Fetish

Transsexuals

You're generally better served by putting it into one of those categories, instead of the more vanilla stuff like erotic couplings, loving wives, group sex.

The main issue of the story was forgiving a cheating wife. Perfectly placed story. The aspect of the protagonist being TG was important, but not pivotal. The primary issue was central for LW, a cheating wife. This round of feedback proves the one star haters aren't wounded victims of cheaters. They're just phobic bigots. Glad someone proved this once and for all.

This is a strange, strange, screwed up story. I can't believe I stuck with it and read the whole thing. The characters are all messed up in the head. It's disturbing to think that there may be people like this loose and roaming free!

I gave it a1 only because I couldn’t rate it lower. Worst story I ever started reading. I couldn’t even finish it

Ignore the phobic bigots, great story

If nothing else, Jessica is a scientist. She didn't merely hypothesize that the one star brigade is a cluster of brain dead bigots. She ran an experiment. Do we want to allow them to redefine LW as a segregated internment camp for bigoted incels? Or can we agree that NO MATTER WHO the protagonist is, if the story deals with a cheating wife, this is the place?

...Use of introduction to inform a reader interested in BTB that this would NOT be typical fare, and that moreover, this story may contain potentially uncomfortable subtext in its message.

So I didn't read. Will not score if didn't read. But in addition to being grateful for the upfront warning, I also wanted to say this:

This probably IS an important story for a certain kind of reader. And you probably DID DO a good job with it. Anybody who clicked forward to the comments and is reading MY words here, this probably is a good story if you want to be challenged by a different point of view. I wasn't in the mood for that myself this morning, but perhaps one day when this pops up on the story spinner, I just might find my self more curious and bored than I am actually right now, currently.

To the author, I KNOW it is a good thing to challenge yourself, AND your audience. The intro paragraph shows that you RESPECT your audience first and foremost. And that is why respectfully, I can say sincerely THANKYOU for your efforts to produce content here, and to not be discouraged from continuing your endeavors to fill these pages here for the rest of us. I really appreciate stories that make me think, but also know I would have to be in a different state of mind to be prepared to think about LBGT issues..TODAY. That is only a reflection on me, NOT on you as an author.

Good Luck!

I thought your comments were well reasoned, with heart. You so aptly pointed out that the disclaimers and warnings were given at the top. Anyone who reads further and is offended by what they were warned about, all I can say is:

'Methinks the lady doth protest too much'.

In other words, they did this to themselves by reading further and blame the author. I for one totally dug it. This is a perfect Loving Wives tale.

Amazingly good story. Stampeding the bison in the comments section just shows you how imaginative and thought provoking it is. I can read a story about a straight girl without being grossed out at her perving on a man. Likewise a TG main character doesn't bother me. Different strokes. You gotta expect sex in Lit. We really do need a new category though, to offload all the haters to.

I suggest:

Phobic Vanilla Incel Bigots

This girl is prolific. And she's deep. I've read this story twice, plan to again. You miss clues the first time around. The characters are real humans, not one dimensional fabrications like the closeted one star phobes try to pretend to be.

for the warning saved me the time reading.

Honest comment. Not your cup, moving on? I applaud your integrity. Wish others were more intellectually honest.

All others, this story is so messed up and twisted, I can't wait for her next!

Briefly skimmed , learned a little about your style , found it not to be for me .

It kind of reminded me of a TV series called Firefly that had a cult following , but I personally just hated it . C'est la vie .

But I'm sure some will like it .

I've alerted some of my pen pals. We need to support efforts at treating marginalized groups just like everybody else, like it's no big deal. A previous commenter was offended by 'it's about time...' but failed to notice the author wasn't asking for any special privileges, just putting it out there that it's good to include them. That shows that bigotry is possible even to those who ARE able to string together more than six words in a sentence.

I won't score it because the first page warned me off. I did skim a bit more out of curiosity but that just reinforced my initial impression. Best of luck.

The story started sort of normal, but rapidly went into fantasy/sci-fy. I read it all, and with the lens of pure fantasy, was able to enjoy the light fetish theme with the slave ex. Oddly, I liked it but still not sure how to rate. There was a warning, but I think the direction of this story was very different from what's normal in LW. I applaud you for the effort.

Rnebular

No real logical sense to this story.

With twisted mentalities and everything thing else in this story; can't figure out if it should be in Transgender or sci-fi/fantasy. As it seems so heavily ladden with demon possessions etc. I would say sci-fi.

Unless author is saying that transgenders don't really exist; and, are just doomed demon possessed individuals???

Now to provide a serious answer to your innuendo about transgenders, it is highly possible that some wonderful people God designed to be transgenders are oppressed by intimidating spirits into staying so far in the closet their back foot gets frostbite in Narnia. If I sound like I read her stuff, I do. I've read over ten books by her, and my favorite is still Heaven's Brides. Even the sermon from the appendix is food for thought.

But this was simply awful writing. Forget the part where it has no business being posted in loving wives. You did that on purpose to troll the readers. Well you're getting bombed both in the scoring and in the comments. so congratulations on THAT success. But your characters are so thoroughly disgusting and unlikable people that this story had no chance of being either erotic or entertaining. If you need a soapbox, please go elsewhere. This is a porn site, on the world wide web and no one gives a shit. Awful story. A complete waste of time.

No stars as even giving this garbage one star would be an insult to the star.

Thanks for the submission.

I found the story hard to adjust to, not for any gender queer elements, just for structure/pacing. Too much was sped through in first couple pages with little build up.

Too much just happened without showing how you got from A to B, so you could focus on later storyline elements. The problem was, by the time those showed up I was a bit divorced from the tale.

I think your story is one of those which is most amusing for the comments that it generates. "Hey you kids, get out of my Literotica category!" I particularly liked the list of progressively more/less acceptable categories to submit stories to based on contents. How dare one include multiple elements. There is some truth that because you sped very rapidly through the whole cheating as well as divorce, Loving Wives probably had the least relevance to the story you were telling, I think it is awesome you posted it here to see the reactions.

There are already designated, specific categories for things of this ilk.

Transsexuals & Crossdressers - probably would be preferred location; even remotely being a BTB story it would probably fit better in that genre.

There is also Gay male & Fetish - hmm, fetish; interesting when one looks up a definition.

And, Sci-fi & fantasy: to deal with the vain attempt at fantasy and, with so many mental illnesses portrayed in this story...

Thanks for your comments, especially the great ones about category. Now onto the issue raised about details of the cheating and divorce. Since this launches as a BTB, the cheating is the background, and the BTB is the present and relevant action. We all know about cheating. Nothing new... part A goes in slot B. It's fairly standard for BTB stories to rush through or glaze over the actual cheating and get on with the justice end of things. That's why they're called BTB stories. It's about the burn itself, and that's what I purposely focused on. The title of the story shows the emphasis on the burn, and thereafter. If I'd gone into a rehash of the cheating we've all seen here day in and day out, even I'd have fallen asleep before getting to the part of the story where I wanted to pick it up. It's AfterBurn, after all. It's as important a part of the complete LW story as the initial cheating, and oddly one of the least covered in any story. Even those BTB stories that mention the ending usually say something like 'yeah my life is great now' and a brief HEA statement. I wanted to closely observe how that all works out.

Read the first 2 paragraphs, enough said!

Yeah, the site admins seem to refuse to do anything to stop this deliberate trolling with miscategorization.

A really great BTB is where there is a lot of angst sprinkled with relief of supporting characters, ending with a deeply satisfying burning of the bitch and an epilog of the protagonist truly inconsolable for the loss of his soul mate and eternal love. According to a research article I read recently (reference not provided), people just love angst, they actually crave it and can't live without it. By taking away that key element of an LW story, you cannot expect anyone in the whole spectrum of Loving Wives Universe to like the story. Thanks for the effort, gave it 2. Love FZC

Sorry, JM, I got lost on page 1. I literally couldn't tell who was who. I'm out.

I'm happy you found an article that supports your viewpoint. So many forget that we're all different. We do have things in common, in the human condition. I've been long aware that our society is in bondage to hate, fear and angst. As misery loves company, many will try to pressure you into embracing negativity. It's not worth it trying too hard to fit in. In my definitions, people don't 'love' angst. They ardently seek it. There's a difference. I've seen so many formula-perfect BTB stories, on line and sadly in real life, I could quote their next lines along with them like watching Galaxy Quest for the millionth time. It doesn't make it any more fun. What I try to do is to show a way out of that bondage of angst. Some folks don't want that. To each their own. Haters only like you while you're hating. Love loves love. Love is such an easy word to throw around, isn't it? You really seem to have a heart for listening to society. I pray you ever increasingly find your own voice, and confront this world with truth they're not ready to hear, by living for your own happiness. As a ForeRunner you'll have few peers, but the ones you do have will be precious individuals unlike anyone else.

Keep your day jobs, because you're terrible at this.

Here's the fact of the matter. It's not angst in itself people "crave"; it's the resolution to it. What we crave is to see characters do something about their angst and overcome whatever terrible circumstances have entrapped them. And a big part of that is seeing the antagonist (s) get what they deserve, either by the physical hand of the one(s) they tormented or by the cosmic hand of karma.

That is what we crave, to the point that a term was invented specifically for it: catharsis. Of course the reasons why we want that catharsis differ from person to person. Some want to live vicariously through these fictional characters, wishing they had the courage or just the opportunity to rise above their own problems. Others just like seeing bad people get put in their place, whether that's in a prison cell, a shallow grave or otherwise. But I think you'll find comparatively few who just want angst for the sake of angst. Y'know, beyond moody teenagers who use it as fuel for their tryhard DeviantArt poetry, whiny diary entries and/or melodramatic suicide notes.

If you don't realize that, I guess you didn't pay attention in class because they teach this all the way from elementary school to college. It's a very simple concept that has proven itself universally true since the dawn of storytelling.

It's like Sharknado in it's terrible awesomeness. Five stars.

***** for effort and being really fucking weird.

Didn't read it.

Left appropriate rating.

I think we're more in agreement than you might think at first glance. And I quote your excellent points:

Here's the fact of the matter. It's not angst in itself people "crave"; it's the resolution to it. What we crave is to see characters do something about their angst and overcome whatever terrible circumstances have entrapped them. And a big part of that is seeing the antagonist (s) get what they deserve,

That's the first thing my character did was break free of entrapment and exact some consequences. Being told by her replacement that the next time she barges in she'll break all her shoes is a big deal for a woman. And that was just the cherry on top. Any of my fellow feminists can vouch that I ticked almost every possible check-box of disrespect. And talk about karma, what about the prenup, hilarious, right?

Ultimately the way this protagonist overcomes in full is by seeing the complete and utter repentance of her abuser, and forgiving her. That's not just revenge against the bitch, that's also revenge against the dark spirit behind the bitch.

Being happy in love is the best revenge against hate. And stealing my unseen enemy's tool is some pretty hot freaking cool revenge on all those sneaky invisible bastards.

So, at the core, if we're to disagree on much of anything, it'll probably have to be my insistence on buying us the next round.

; P

--Jessica

Sure.

But, for a waaaaaaay better example of that, readers should probably bypass this story, and focus their attention on the works of author oshaw.

I mean, "Equation" is probably the best BTB with an HEAE on this entire site. Hell, "Fortune" is just as good, if not better.

It's been done before, is what I'm saying. And it's been done... better. Just saying.

Good recommendation, I'm glad someone else is doing it too. If it's worth doing, it's great to know others are doing their part. I'm glad you're not afraid of sharing that you like his material better. We all have our own taste. As Little Miss Muff says, If we were all exactly alike, one of us could be unnecessary.

Be yourself and live a little

Don't bother painting your face;

Tomorrow it may rain and colors run

Better it quench the flowers thirst

Don't be afraid to live a little

Don't be afraid of the people that belittle our love

Oh our love

Open up your thoughts and listen to others

Your fellow man may surprise you;

He offers a unique item

Soul experience, help yourselves to each other

Don't be afraid to live a little

Don't be afraid of the people that belittle our love

Oh our love

Just be yourself

Just be yourself

For our love, oh our love

(guess which band)

ppl read the notes it said it had transgender in it lol, cant really relate to that so wont read it. next time do yall's homework and read the author's notes idgits lol

Be yourself and live a little

Don't bother painting your face;

Tomorrow it may rain and colors run

Better it quench the flowers thirst

Don't be afraid to live a little

Don't be afraid of the people that belittle our love

Oh our love

Open up your thoughts and listen to others

Your fellow man may surprise you;

He offers a unique item

Soul experience, help yourselves to each other

Don't be afraid to live a little

Don't be afraid of the people that belittle our love

Oh our love

Just be yourself

Just be yourself

For our love, oh our love

I quit after being somewhat confused by who was what gender where and when in the story. Then I realized, I'm just not interested.

Actually, a compelling intelligent story about the emotional and psychological challenges and drama of a transgender person would be interesting, if it were true and honest. This was not that, I don't think. Just couldn't get that far to find out. So much for the criticism, Don't read the story if you don't like it! I just stopped reading when I lost interest. I do hope it was rewarding to write and that the appropriate community will find it interesting. Good luck with this and future endeavors.

I gave it a 5! Now go back to your mother and eat her ass.

Thanks for echoing my sentiments. For those tuning in after we get the spam deleted, some 5th world dating site had spammed the comments section.

A ton!

Things that may have seen clear to you and your editor, were not clear to many people. You could have hit all the main points you hit, you just needed to be more direct.

Too confusing, and given that a lot of people don't really want to learn to understand Tfolks, it created too much of a hole to climb out of. Thanks for a creative change of pace !!

I appreciate the concerns you've raised. Accommodating them, however, would have pushed against other concerns. This is a balancing act. Making some things even more clear about Tfolks would have further pushed what one commenter already referred to as the 'yuck factor'. Accommodating as many different backgrounds as possible, I drop keywords for those in the know, without grinding the momentum explaining things many don't care about. You yourself said that 'a lot of people don't really want to learn to understand Tfolks'. Making certain things even more clear to them would only increase the yuck factor, whose envelope I've already pushed pretty hard. There are welcoming and affirming churches who welcome all LGBT+ etc people without going into graphic detail from the pulpit about exactly what each color of the rainbow does in the bedroom. I think if anything I already ventured pretty far into the TMI side of the balance. Likewise in my SciFi aspects, I often drop keywords that identify the nature of technology or extradimensional intervention for those who care. Those who don't care take it as a meaningless star trek buzzword and rush on without breaking the flow. There's an old expression that nobody agrees completely on wine and music. I add erotica to that list.

: )

took off nicely, and then it all got too meandering inner-talk, way too much rambling even for a first-person narrative. Didn't really like it; this is not to question your writing skills, though.

Perfect example of the wine and music slogan. We all have different tastes. I really enjoy getting into someone's head. It's part of what makes them real to me. How I feel about a situation depends on what I think is going on within it and what I think is fair, beneficial, healthy (fill in blank). The thought process is as loaded with emotion as the intercourse. A lot of people are like this, but not everyone. As Dave Mason sang: 'we all got different ways'.

It was definitely interesting, as well as very well written & fun as hell to read!!! You kept me on my toes wondering if Montana was a “Post-Op” Trans Woman or a Hermaphrodyte until the end there. I have other things to say but I don’t quite know how to say them at the moment & I definitely don’t want to be insulting or disrespectful so I’ll just ask permission to contact you via Lit feedback on your page at a later time when I will hopefully have my thoughts in order. Thanks in advance & you bet your sweet bippy you got 5 stars from me!!

Thank you so much. Of course please feel free to contact me via the author feedback. Every time I try to use that feature it yells at me in all red caps about tripping some spam filter no matter how little or much i write. So if you don't feel like putting up with that nonsense or if you don't hear back from me, please feel free to write me from my website. It's my name and a dot com all mushed together. Follow and you'll find a way to email me.

: )

Jessica

What a load of drivel.

Thank you, OneWordCuck, for providing such a perfect test case for my data mining AI. You're so predictable. We all know it's you. I see Mommy let you use the internet again. You must have done that special thing for Daddy again.

Why would a transgender woman marry a woman? She marry a transgender man. They would not require any sex changes since they would acknowledge where each of them stand in their relationship!

You actually asked a very nice question. Thank you. You deserve a good answer.

The gender spectrum is in its simplest form at least two dimensional, not one. The first dimension is what gender are YOU. The second dimension is what gender are THEY, to whom you are attracted. These are two separate issues.

This results in four states: Woman seeking Woman, Woman seeking Man, Man seeking woman, man seeking man.

Before you bring up non-binaries, I know, and I said spectrum, not digital divide. You see, some are in between when it comes to who they are, and some in regard to who they want.

So you see, there is such a thing as a TransLesbian, meaning, a transgender woman wired to be attracted to women. For more information, on Literotica here I have a story called CisterWife about this very thing.

Once again, thank you for phrasing a very good question.

The classification of the story is a tough one.. It really is a bit over the top, but

it deals with important questions and tries to give us a different matrix to apply to

our relationships.

I thought it was refreshing..Your prospective is challenging to the traditionalists, but don’t let the negative comments pull you down. I’m looking forward too reading your next posting.. thanks again for an entertaining read.

cheating was never about linking the feminine male to being a cuck. but it IS used as an insult. You take away a man's identity when you misgender him. It'd be like a man mocking a female, maybe calling her a "hard-bodied flat chested man-child". Like instead of being a cuck, she can't have kids because of a medical condition. It's similarly dehumanizing when a woman leaves a man for another and tells him he can't measure up.

ultimately cheating is about disrespect with lies and manipulation. BTB anons like myself really enjoy it when a girl kicks a cheating man to the curb. problem is those stories are rare. it's usually a man cheats, and the wife goes mental and fucks every dick in a five a mile radius. but those stories, as odd as they are, only pale in comparison to cucked men stories. seriously. make a tally over the week of new lit stories. it's such a popular fetish, despite destroying entire families financially, emotionally, and sometimes bodily. like....bdsm...scat....furries...diapers, these are far healthier fetishes than cuckoldry. i honestly rank cuckoldry with rape or pedophilia for it's long term emotional damage. all of these fetishes involve ....usually broken consent. i understand there is grey area with rape-play, loli or shota roleplay, and even voyeurism(for some cuck play) but even cuck play is the hardest to set ground rules that respect eachother. it's a fetish that thrives on humiliation, lying, manipulation. it's just broken.

You have some interesting insights. Cheating is breaking the agreement, whatever the agreement is. And for that, the wife in the story was punished and demoted. The feminine aspect was merely the excuse, not even the cause, and not the effect of the cheating. The protagonist had been misgendering self, then came to terms. The wife, somehow detecting it, thought that was an excuse to cheat. She could have asked him to sit down and talk about their marriage, possibly being poly, doing whatever necessary to meet the needs of both. It's quite clear she had no excuse. She forked up. Yes the protagonist could have kicked her to the curb. Probably almost did in fact. Of course that would have just led to her having a fresh spouse to abuse. The training was the unexpected twist. Who knew the wife would want to be a better person? Weird stuff does happen.

This is a moronic piece of work

I’m not into this transgender bullshit⭐️

⭐⭐⭐ 🤔 Sorry. Your spelling and grammar are better than most here. The story seems well-written.

But, tgirls, telepathy, telekinesis, telepresence, etc. I am not sure what I just read. That's probably my fault.

I do think a lot of anti-male sentiments are expressed quietly in this story.

Not my type of fare.

Transcrap, burn the story.

Jessica, you made me think with this one more than most writers, congratulations. I have no problem with trans persons in any way, even though I don't understand them. The supernatural aspect made this a little strange, but a necessary strange. Well done & thanks for this story.

Now to read the rest of your work.

OK so in the first half pf page one we learn he has retrograde 'frying pan' amnesia about the fact he thinks he is a woman, despite the fact that his online persona was a woman?

.

.

And that he has so much money should his ex wife girlfriend ever leave cell service range he has a preexisting arrangement with the US Marshall Service to monitor her and act as porters and livery drivers despite their mandate to protect federal witnesses and hunt down fugitives?

Not a loving wives story. Next time post as transgender so if I want to read about this sickness I'll know where to find it. Keep this bullshit in its proper place pleass.

Put this garbage in the correct category so that no one has to read it. You trolled the LW people, on purpose, to get more viewers. Lousy on all fronts.

What was that?