Alfonso Greene, Suburban Lion Tamer

He sat at the head of the table, and we were seated either side of him. We were quickly introduced to each of them. "I have called this meeting today to discuss our future. This will probably be my last such meeting, so I am not going to muck about here. I want you all to meet the future of this company. On my right is my grandson Phillip Bartholomew, and on my left is his wife Katarina, she prefers Kat, so feel free to call her that."

"Now you all know the philosophy that I have instilled in each branch of this enterprise, that of grooming a successor for each position from within. You were all prepared by your predecessor to take over when he retired or shuffled off, so am doing the same thing. From a very early age I have been grooming Phillip to take over from me when the time comes, and that time is upon us. Now, he does not know much about the company and how it operates, but by tomorrow afternoon you will be able to ask him anything about it and he will know it all. He is the son that I never had, and he has the ethos that I brought to this company and that I think that I have instilled in this company. You all know that I have given each of you a great deal of autonomy, this will not change in the future." He paused to take a breath. "No detail of the operation of this company will change, apart from a small stipend to meet their modest day to day needs, they will draw no salary from the company, and all of the profits will be channelled back into its running. You and your staff will continue to receive moneys from the profit sharing arrangements that we have in place, and your salaries will continue to rise along the lines of inflation. Do you have any questions?"

"How is Phillip going to learn all about this company in a couple of days, that would take months?"

"He will surprise you, believe me."

"Tom." I looked at the man called Tom, "How is the CSIRO going with the dry climate grape technology?"

This came as a surprise to him, because when we were introduced, we were not told which department they each headed. "What? Oh yes, we are getting some very good results with our newer hybrids, the breeds that are just coming into production are showing great promise."

"And the water requirements, what are the figures looking like?"

"They are down approximately fifty percent on the regular varieties."

"And tonnage per hectare, how is that looking?"

"It's early days, but they are already showing an increase on the regular varieties."

"Does this increase in production over water usage equate to cost effectiveness in replacing existing vines, or will it be confined to new plantings?"

"At this early stage, I would restrict the implementation to new plantings. In the future, if the regular vines are showing a decline in production then we would look at replacing them."

"Thank you, that would have been my decision."

The others in the room looked at me in amazement. How could I know about all of that, when there had not been a lot of publicity given to it outside the industry?

"Right, I'll leave you to discuss the running of this show, I have an important appointment to keep. I should be back by lunch time. What do you reckon, pizzas on me?" We all agreed to that.

By lunch time we were involved in a many faceted discussion with these men on the business and its ethos, and how it seemed to be diametrically opposed to the commonly accepted business model. The major difference being that there were no shares in the company, it was wholly owned by Grandad, who was not paid a salary as such, but a modest by CEO standards allowance, and which was less than the salaries paid to the executives.

The pizzas were great, washed down with a bottle of the company product, an unassuming young Shiraz that I was told was a year or so short of its potential.

Grandad stood up. "Right, what do you think, will all you be able to work together to continue to make this the amazing company that it is?" There was a unanimous agreement to that. Kat and I had been wholeheartedly accepted by all of them. "Okay you two, come with me, we'll leave these miscreants to doing what they do best, making shit loads of money." This was his standing exit line. While they made a comfortable income, the vast majority of company earnings were ploughed back into the company.

We left his offices and went up in the lifts to the top floor of the building. His Lawyer's office was what I would have expected, wall to wall leather bound legal tomes, a large polished mahogany desk behind which he sat in a leather swivel chair. There the expectations ended, we were not confronted by a formally dressed man puffing on a cigar, behind the desk sat a well dressed young woman. "Sally, this is my grandson Phillip and his lovely wife Kat." We shook hands all round and sat down in comfortable chairs arrayed around the desk. "Would you run through our discussions, I want these two to be perfectly clear as to y intentions."

"Very well. This morning your grandfather came to me to update his Last Will and Testament. The why it is that I am outlining its contents to you at this time will become clear as we go, so could you hold your questions until I have finished?"

"Yes." We agreed.

"Good. The first thing is that you, Phillip, are to get everything, the house, control of his company and the income that ensues from it, all monies held in his bank account, and the artworks held in various galleries around the country. That's the broad picture, but that is not all of it. He has, tucked away from the vultures, a contingency fund. This is a cash fund, and it is not in a bank, it does not draw interest, it earns no money so that the Tax Office cannot get there sticky fingers on it, and more importantly, your father cannot gain access to it. This will probably cause some problems because, while he is unsure of its existence, he has an idea that it does exist, and he will move heaven and earth to prove that it does exist. When the time comes, your grandfather will tell you where it is. We fully expect that your father will not be happy that he gets nothing, and will rush off to his lawyers to get an injunction and dispute the Will. He will not succeed. He might think that there is more than there is on paper, but he will never be able to prove it. That, in a nutshell is it, any questions?"

"I have one." Kat said. "Why the undue haste to get his estate in order, surely he doesn't plan to go any time soon?"

"I have less time than you imagine." Grandad said, "A month tops." He saw the shocked expression on our faces. "You already knew that there was something wrong, well I have cancer, and there is no hope of a cure or even remission at this stage. It has been a struggle to get through the last year or so, but I had to do it. Phillip, you probably weren't aware of it at first, but I have been grooming you to take over my empire. All of those stupid things, according to your father, that we did, were a part of that process. I have to say that you have exceeded all of my expectations. And you Kat, you could not have shown up at a better time, and been a better person. If I was sixty years younger he wouldn't have stood a chance. You made me feel so much younger, and made these past months more tolerable. But it's time to go, and I leave you with my blessings, and don't ever lose that spark that you have, either of you."

This sounded like a farewell address, and it was. It took some three weeks for him to let go of life, but it was a happy time, albeit with a shadow hanging over it.

It took less than a day for my father to insert himself into our lives. He arrived on our doorstep on his way to work, so he couldn't stay long. "Who is this?" He asked pointing to Kat.

"This, Father dearest, is your daughter-in-law Katarina."

"What? How long have you been married, and why wasn't I told?"

"Because, we chose not to tell you."

"And when is this thing. . ." He waved his finger at Kat's belly. "Due?"

"Soon."

"I will have to begin making arrangements for the sale of this property, you won't be able to stay here, so you had better start looking for somewhere to live."

"Aren't you jumping the gun here, shouldn't you wait for probate before you think about kicking us out. In the mean time we are staying put." Kat informed him.

"We'll see about that." He didn't even say good-bye.

"This is fucking bullshit!" I had seen my father pissed off, but this was beyond pissed off, it was beyond angry even. "You mean to sit there and tell me that my father has left me nothing in his Will?"

"He left you nothing." Sally said in a calm voice.

"Do you also mean to tell me that, as well as leaving my worthless son and his whore, his house, he has left him all his money?"

"He left Phillip and Katarina Bartholomew, your son and daughter-in-law all of his money, that is correct." This was delivered in the same quiet and measured voice.

"Just how much money are we talking about here?"

"Let me see, his bank account at the time of his death contained one thousand, two hundred and seventy seven dollars and fifty three cents."

"That's bullshit! He was loaded with money, he was worth millions."

Sally pushed a copy of the bank statement across the desk. "His personal worth was very moderate, he lived quite frugally."

"What about the company, that must be worth billions, surely?"

"The company is a separate entity from his personal worth, it was set up that way. It paid him a moderate stipend, and if he needed more he had to request it from the company board. Apart from salaries and the profit sharing, of which he was not a participant, all, and I repeat, all earnings of the company a ploughed back into the company's research and development programme. That sir, is why the company is worth what it is worth. Any attempt to liquidate this company will lead to disappointment, because you will not find a buyer prepared to purchase a company that returns so little on investment."

"I suppose that he," pointing to me, "Will be receiving money from the company."

"As Directors of the company, both Phillip and Katarina will receive a stipend sufficient for their day to day needs. If they want more then they will have to apply to the board, just as your father did."

"I still think that this is bullshit, and don't think that I will not rest until I get to the bottom of this." He stormed out of the office.

A month after this happened there were two important events in my life. The first was that my father reluctantly conceded defeat and withdrew his objection to the Will, and himself from my life. The second and more important event was the arrival of Sebastian Louis Bartholomew, our son.

That was two years ago. We have a daughter, Mirabelle Katarina, who is going to look like her mother, lucky her. Katarina has had quite a lot of success with her conceptual art. The purists of course dismissed it as almost art heresy, but it sells well enough to art galleries around the world. And I have had some success with my writing, particularly my kids' books, one of which I am just about to read to Sebastian;

"My business card read: 'Alfonso Greene, Suburban Lion Tamer.' For that was my line of work. Business has been a little slow of late, I mean I ask you, how long has it been since you have seen a wild, or even a moderately angry lion, wandering the streets? I have been much too successful for my own good."

"I am going to have to make a decision soon; do I move on to greener pastures, a town where there are still lions to be found, do I find a few lions and set them loose in this town, or find some other wild beast to tame, elephants maybe."

Ps: I checked on Grandad's contingency fund that had remained untouched since he inherited it from his father. It was something north of five million dollars. It will remain untouched.