Alicia's New Position Ch. 12

I lay on the floor while everyone made their way to the kitchen. I became embarrassed and ashamed remembering that Joe was there filming my wanton acts of sluttiness. I got up and grabbed my clothes piled at the door. Slipping my shirt on, I quietly ran to my car.

My cell started ringing before I even exited the drive; I threw it to the floor. When I finally parked at home I shakily slipped into my skirt.

Having left without eating I put some leftovers in the oven and went to take a shower. I tried as hard as I could to wash the semen and grime, but I couldn't scrub the dirtiness I felt off of me. When I was done I checked on the kids who were fast asleep. I went to the kitchen and retrieved my supper, but I was not very hungry and just pushed it around with my fork, staring blankly at nothing.

I walked to my room thinking, 'I really need help' I lay on the bed considering my situation and finally drifted off to sleep.

The next morning when I got to work I looked up numbers for therapists that specialized in sexual dysfunctions, if that's what I had. Dr. Valerie Myers caught my eye among a few, so I made several calls and left my cell number for calls back.

I was at my desk doing paperwork when my office phone rang.

"Hello this is Ali," I answered. A familiar voice answered.

"Liv, what can I do for you?" I said my voice cold as ice.

"Yes I left," I replied as Liv spoke, "You set me up!"

"No, if I had known I would not have gone," I said agitated, "Especially with Joe there."

Liv continued but I cut her off "Who was that new guy you were abusing?"

"What? Your fiancé!" I lowered my voice, "How did that all come about?"

"Hammer did what!?" I asked, shivering, "He sent him videos of you..."

"He did what?" I asked angrily, "Sent a text saying you looked hot and wanted to see it in person? Is he sick in the head?"

"What do you mean he knows his role?" I asked in shock, "I don't believe this, no I have to get back to work, bye," I slammed the phone down. I just could not believe what Liv just told me - does Joe have the same feelings?

I could not concentrate on my work the rest of the morning. At noon I left work to try and calm down. As soon as I walked out my cell rang.

"Hello? Yes Dr. Myers I did call," I strode to my car at a quicker pace for privacy, "Hold on one minute," I unlocked the car and got in before continuing.

"Yes, I saw that you specialized in sexual dysfunctions, I think I have one." I listened¬, "A consult? Yes that would be fine, when? Tonight at 6:00, so soon? Yes I'll be there, t-thank you!"

I sat in my car for a few minutes letting out a sigh of relief. Having got a consult so soon, I really thought I could beat my addiction finally. I took a walk in the park, to compose myself before returning to the office. Kelli was sitting at her desk when I walked in, looking up with a hopeful smile.

"Ali you look better," Kelli said, as I walked through the door.

"I made an appointment for a consult tonight at 6:00. I just have to overcome this thing Kelli."

"That's great, Ali! Whatever I can do to help I will."

"Do you mind watching the kids?"

"Like I said," Kelli answered with a glowing smile, "whatever I can do to help."

"Thanks Kel," I gave her a big hug. Having received a consult with Dr. Myers, I was able to accomplish my work that day. I was much more focused, feeling I had finally taken the right approach to beating my addiction.

I was leaving work at 4:30, when my cell rang, looking at the caller I.D. I shut my phone off and stuffed it in my purse, it was Hammer.

I found the building Dr. Myers office was in. There was a park across the street so I took a walk trying to come up with the right words to explain my actions and needs. It wasn't far from the park so I left for my appointment at 5:30.

I walked into the reception area at 5:45 to fill out the paperwork. Not wanting anyone to know I was seeing a therapist I paid cash. There was no paperwork so I took a seat, waiting. Dr. Myers called me in promptly at 6:00.

I was surprised; she was a striking woman with long red hair, built much like Kelli. Dr. Myers was wearing a form fitting navy blue skirt and jacket that accentuated her fiery red hair; she had up in a pony tail. Looking at her face I could not believe her credentials she looked so young. I looked right into her hazel green eyes smiling. I hadn't looked at another woman like that since I first saw Kelli strip.

After closing the door, "Ms. Rhodes, how may I help you?" Dr. Myers asked.

"Please call me Ali. I really don't know where to start..." I sat down in the soft leather chair across from Dr. Myers desk. I looked at the wall decorated with diplomas and awards in her field of therapeutic psychology.

"Well Ali," Dr. Myers leaned back in her chair, "let's start with why you think you have a sexual dysfunction."

"Well it started just over a year ago and I can't stop," I started shaking.

"What started?"

"I can't say no to... certain men when it comes to sex."

"Okay that's a good start," Dr. Myers took out her note pad and made some entries, "Now, how did this all come about?"

"I was happily married to a man that traveled a lot for work. I was promoted at work to store manager but had to transfer to a new store."

"And this is where it began, correct?"

"Yes. There was a store clerk who for some reason caught my attention, so I kept my eye on him," I said with a tremor in my voice, remembering those first days, not knowing what was in store for me...

"And this clerk, tell me about him?"

"I kept watch over his sales and they were very high. I walked around while he was at work he just had this gift of gab. I was still suspicious of him, I don't know why."

"And?"

"I didn't have any reason to be, but I had this uneasy feeling about him," I said trembling, "Then one night he got stuck during a rain storm. I told him to take an umbrella and I would pay for it the next day, but he refused."

"So how did he get home?" Dr. Myers asked inquisitively, looking at her note pad.

"I offered him a ride home and he accepted. When we got there he told me to wait while he checked on his little brother and sister, so I did," thinking why didn't I just drive off?

"And he came back?"

"Yes he came back about 10 minutes later."

"And what happened next?"

"We were talking and I was looking out the driver side window. I don't remember exactly what he said, but when I turned to look at him he had his genitalia out. And he was stroking it," I started trembling harder, remembering how Ronnie's penis looked as he was stroking it.

"Take your time Ali," she said with a calming voice, "What happened next?"

"Well, I already knew he was confident after watching him around the store. Sitting there I couldn't stop myself from looking at his penis. He kept telling me he knew why I was there, that I wanted his penis, he became... conniving and so forceful." I had to stop - my breathing was becoming labored, I started feeling excited.

"Take a sip of water and calm down Ali," she said in a soothing voice, "And when you're ready we can continue."

I took a couple of slow, deep breaths before sipping the water. My legs were crossed and when I ran my leg up and down my thigh I noticed the gusset of my panties was getting soaked. I just hoped Dr. Myers hadn't noticed. She hadn't looked up from her note pad since I stopped talking; I felt as though she knew what was happening to me though.

"I... I think I'm ready."

"Okay. You left off at him being conniving and forceful, what happened next?"

"He became demanding and conniving, telling me I wanted him and to feel his penis and he wouldn't let up," I rubbed my thighs together, remembering just how he said it.

"Go on Ali."

"He then started with 'Just touch it,' and I tried to bargain with him. 'If I do, will you put it away?" I asked. He said if I didn't want it he would, and I fell for it. I touched it and pulled my hand away, but he didn't think I had gotten a good enough feel and wrapped his hand around mine while bringing it back to his penis, wrapping our hands around it," My thighs rubbed together harder. My pussy was getting wetter just talking about it.

Dr. Myers looked up with a cool gaze, "Is there something wrong Ali?"

"J-Just really nervous, Dr. Myers..." I lied trying to calm down to no avail.

"Relax Ali and call me Val if it will help," she smiled genuinely. Her gaze calmed me down a little.

"Thank you, Val," I breathed out in relief, "Okay. Before I knew it he had let go of my hand, but I continued stroking him without thinking. The next thing I knew he was telling me to kiss it, something I had always refused to do for my husband, but... But I did it. I kissed Ronnie's penis. A-And then he -" I couldn't take it. I came trembling, biting my lip as my fingers dug into the chair.

"Take a minute Ali," Dr. Myers said as I came in the chair just a few feet away, "I'm here to help remember?"

I took a couple of deep breaths as I came down from my orgasm before continuing, "He told me to suck it and I did, like a whore!" I started tearing up, feeling the familiar shame just from remembering the events.

"It's okay Ali. Is that all that happened?"

"No. No, that's not all that happened..." I wiped the tears from my cheek, even as I felt my pussy quivering in anticipation.

"Did you have vaginal sex with Ronnie?" Dr. Myers leaned forward giving me a comforting look.

"No it was all oral. I continued even after all the choking and gagging. I just felt like I had to please him. I learned to control my gagging and was able to take all 8 inches into my throat," I gulped, as if his cock was in my mouth again.

"When he neared his climax, he told me he was close and for me to keep it all in my mouth. I could have pulled his penis out of my mouth, but I didn't. I didn't want to..." I was breathing hard again and squirming in the chair despite my best efforts, "When he ejaculated I did as he said, even though some leaked out onto my chin."

"What happened next, Ali?"

"He... He pulled my head - out of his lap - and told me to show him. I did," I said, fighting my tears even as another climax began to rush through my belly, "He told me to swallow it. And I felt I had to do it. And did it without thinking, and showed him his cum in my mouth...!" I trembled with my second climax, sobbing as I did.

"Focus Ali," Dr. Myers said gently, "How did you feel after Ronnie made you do those things?"

I was panting and sniffing, "I-I... I don't really know. All I remember was savoring the taste..." I hung my head in shame, its crushing weight rolling over me like a suffocating blanket.

"What happened after Ronnie used you like that?"

"He put his penis back into his pants and left without saying anything..." I said.

"Oh my..." Dr. Myers said seriously, and then looked at the clock, "our hour is up Ali, but I think I can help you."

"R-really?" I looked up. I could make out Dr. Myers smiling softly with true concern in her eyes through the tears in my eyes.

"Yes, Ali," she said, "I have a rather busy schedule the next couple of weeks, but I will stay late if you would like to come by Monday at 7:00."

"Thank you Val," I managed, "Thank you so much... I really need to get control of myself."

"You are suffering from a pathology, Ali don't lay the blame on yourself so greatly," Dr. Myers leaned forward, putting her notepad down and looking me in the eyes with her comforting but firm gaze, "I want you to do something this weekend, and you need to try your best to do it, understand?"

"Yes, Dr. Myers. I'll do anything!" I said.

"Good," she said with a smile, "Now what I want you to do this weekend is start a journal about every emotion you feel at those moments when you lose control..." she paused as I nodded yes, "This is most important, and why you think that emotion was brought about," looking at me I felt my pussy begin to quiver, "This will aid in trying to discover what it is that controls your actions and why, do you understand?" Her ruby red lips curled up into a smile as my nether region became moist.

"Yes, Dr. Myers I will do my best... Thank you," She handed me a journal as I got up to leave.

"Remember Ali," Her eyes looking at me with a glint, "Every emotion and what caused it."

I couldn't find any words at that moment; I just nodded as I exited her office.

I exited her office bidding the receptionist a good evening on shaky legs.

When I was on the ground floor I found the nearest ladies room to compose myself. I entered the end stall and took a few deep breaths. Sitting on the commode after closing the lid I opened the journal noting the date and time. Breaking down the page into columns labeling them date & time, emotion, and reason.

It took a couple of minutes to decide if I should write down any of the emotions I felt about Dr. Myers. I had agreed to write every emotion and reason why, so I did.

Friday 6:00: Envy and Lust, Dr. Myers striking beauty.

Friday 6:05: Nervousness, unsure if I could explain my problem.

Friday 6:20: Horny and excited, aroused, reliving experiences of the first time. These emotions stayed with me until the end of appointment.

Friday 6:25: Uneasy, not sure if Dr. Myers noticed I was getting excited.

Friday 6:30: Relief, relaxation and comfort, came talking about the first time. Dr. Myers calming voice was comforting.

Friday 6:35: Dirty, relieved, excited and tense. Discussing my problem, not sure if Dr. Myers knew I came telling her about my first time.

Friday 6:55: Lust, need, excitement and want. Dr. Myers concern, ruby red lips smiling, the glint in her hazel-green eyes, Dr. Myers concern and overall good looks.

Final Notation: I don't know what came over me after seeing Dr. Myers for the first time. Did bearing my thoughts cloud my judgment? Was I reading to deep into what I was thinking during the consult? Did I over read her concern for signs of lust?

I could not answer these final questions, all I knew was I felt that Dr. Myers was very attractive in a way that I wanted.

I left Dr. Myers office on shaky legs trying to figure out how I felt. I phoned Kelli, "Hi Kelli it's me," I said with a tremble in my voice.

"Ali! How did everything go?" She asked with concern.

"It went fine; would it be okay if I took a drive to clear my head before coming home?" I asked nervously.

"Of course," she said happily, "Whatever you need to do I'm here to help. I love you."

"Thank you Kelli," I said tearing up, "I love you too."

"Take your time Ali," Kelli said, "We'll be here when you get home."

We said our goodbyes and I walk toward my car. I could not believe how soaked my panties had gotten just relaying my experience to Dr. Myers. I was reminded with every step I took feeling my panties squish between my thighs. I shivered at the thoughts and stumbled.

Unbeknownst to me I was observed as I walked to my car. Unlocking the door I got in and sat there for a couple of minutes trying to decide where to drive. I started to drive and became fidgety. I started rubbing my thighs together trying to calm the itch I felt deep inside. I got on the highway thinking I would drive a couple exits and stop for a coffee.

I stayed in the slow lane thinking about what had happened tonight. The more I thought about Dr. Myers and the way she looked at me and smiled the hornier I was getting. I began hitting my brakes without realizing. I was fast approaching a rest area when an orgasm hit without warning, and I swerved. The next thing I saw was a flash of light and heard a siren behind me. I pulled into the deserted rest area and shut my car off.

The cruiser pulled up behind my car and turned on the flood lights. A tall dark figure got out of the car and stopped at the trunk. "Hands on the wheel," his voice boomed.

I did as instructed and the officer approached my window, "License and registration," I thought I recognized the voice.

I reached over to retrieve my purse. I reached in and pulled my wallet out slowly and grabbed my license and registration handing it to the officer, "Alicia Rhodes! I thought I recognized your sweet white ass downtown," his voice not so stiff now.

I looked up in surprise to see it was Marcus; I shivered, remembering how dominant he was, "Something wrong Ali?"

"N-no," I stuttered, "Just had a chill."

"Do you know why I stopped you?" his voice booming again.

"N-no officer," I became nervous; "I wasn't speeding this time."

"You displayed signs of intoxication," He stated, "Step out of the car."

I did as instructed and walked to the trunk as he pointed. I leaned on the trunk as he went to his cruiser and picked up his radio. I sat there nervously for awhile until he returned, all the while getting excited remembering what happened last time. Finally Marcus returned.

"I observed you downtown you could hardly walk, on the highway you kept slowing down and right before I pulled you over your car swerved, how much have you had to drink?" his voice scared me.

"N-n-nothing, I was just......" trailing off as another shiver shot up my spin.

Marcus grabbed me and spun me around, "Hands on the trunk," in an official way, "What are you trying to hide?"

"Nothing sir," I said submissively.

"I am going to perform a search of your person for weapons," He told me, "Do you have any drugs or needles that will cause me harm?"

"No sir," I answered meekly.

Marcus placed his large hand on to my shoulder before placing the other on my hip, I trembled, "Nervous slut?" he questioned.

"Yesss sir," I stammered, shivering as he touched me.

His hand ran down the outside of my leg stopping just below the hem of my skirt. His hand felt so good on my bare thigh. Slowly his hand moved to the front of my leg and proceeded - upward. His thumb went under the hem of my skirt and moved slower still. My thighs spread voluntarily as his hand drifted upward, "You like the feel of black skin on your lily white body huh ho?"

"Yesss," I moaned as my thighs spread more causing my skirt to move up on its own.

Marcus' hand stopped mid thigh as I shook my ass begging him to continue up. I felt my pussy quiver. I was thinking I needed this after the night I've had.

"Bitch what's the matter with you?" his voice boomed in my ear.

"I don't know sir, just scared," I said quivering.

"Scared of an officer performing his sworn duties?" He whispered in my ear, breathing lightly on my neck.

"Yesss sir," my whole body started trembling as I felt another gush into my panties.

"Why were you downtown so late whore?" He asked teasingly.

"I had an appointment sir," I answered shyly.

He stepped closer, "An appointment for what slut?" He asked like he knew.

My ass trembled against his crotch now, "Therapy sir," pushing my ass harder against his bulge.

He ground his cock into my ass, "Why does a whore need therapy?" his hand slid off my shoulder, moving toward my breast.

"I can't control myseeelf," I answered through my teeth.

His hand reached my nipple giving it a light pinch, "Is it because of people like me?" he asked as his pinch became a tweak.

"Ohhh yesss sir," I shuddered as I came.

His hand slid up my thigh finally exposing my ass, "Black men," he asked forcefully.

I shivered as I tried to resist, "No sir," I answered as I pushed my ass into his groin harder.

He ground harder, "Are you a badge bunny Ali?" He asked, "You like getting fucked by cops don't you?"

Our tempo was getting faster, "No," was all I could answer.

His hand moved to the front of my panties, "What is it you can't control yourself about Ali?" his voice boomed startling me.

I felt another orgasm nearing, "Confident dominant men..." I hesitated, "Black men," I blurted despite myself.