by danoctober
I enjoyed reading this, and I hope to read more. It could use a bit of proof-reading, but is certainly readable. Thank you for writing and sharing it with us.
My first story and first comment. I agree with you. Honestly, I tried for a few weeks to connect with 3 different random editors but didn't receive a reply. Thanks for your gentle critique.
The only real negative thing I can say is that it was too short. I look forward to reading more.
We will follow along with Dan and see where this takes us. It might have made some difference if you had carried this through the first date. Readers need a little time to connect with the main characters to get to know them and to allow them to emotionally invest in the them. This promotes enthusiasm for follow up searching for chapter 2.
I like this first chapter. I sense this will be a great series and I'm looking forward to the next installment.
This story had an excellent start, but regardless how this first date goes the story is totally incomplete if he doesn't meet the blind date. Part 1 is not complete until he at least has that first blind date.
Nice beginning. Too short and where's the date? I follow for now. Weird story.
Hey , missed it first time around , very funny , what are mates for... "Dan the Man ; it's show time" really cracked me up...
Wheres the next part?
Part 2 is a totally different story?
Why do you write stories leaving the reader hanging? It may be your story but WE are the readers.
One more of these stairways to no place and I'm done reading your work
Nice clean start. Literary skills top notch but surprised you picked up on the bad habit Authors have here with the dot dot dots but still worthy of 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE NOVA STARS!