All Comments on 'Alternate Universe'

I couldn't make it past the for half of the first page. The absolute absurdity of trying to force unconstitutional laws into a reality based story is laughable. You really need to look up the whole checks and balances followed by the U.S. Constitution, then understand that even the Marmalade Moron, aka Trump, can't pass such laws. Not even close. 1*

A part of this story is written twice.

The narrative style and story itself makes me think this was written by someone who identifies with the character they write - that the author is either a mid-to-high-functioning autistic guy (specifics male) or partially crippled with symptoms resembling those of a high-functioning autistic guy. This is an observation, or simple conjecture, if you will - no offense is intended.

Now for the serious content:

The narrative is matter-of fact. Everything from the mundane to the unbelievable is related on the exact same tone. This actively prevented me from engaging with the character or the story. That's biggest thing I noticed. At this stage, I recommend you spend a lot of time practicing identifying what your targeted reader(s) will find easy to believe and hard to believe, and how to integrate both into a story.

The alternate universe was something I was willing to accept. Trump turning the U.S. into a totalitarian state I was not willing to accept.

I also find the trumped-up harassment charges - deliberately aligned to play on the main character's mental scars - highly unlikely.

If they were gong to arrest him for something, sexual harassment is a weak charge.

Combining what you think is erotic FICTIOn with your anti-Trump idiocy is just idiotic. Take your agenda to the NYT or the WaPo. Maybe they'll enjoy your crap.