All Comments on 'An Unexpected Detour'

by deevo

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  • 3 Comments
KramBKramBover 14 years ago
So Typical

It was going to be a "100" until the end. Then when it turned out to be the boy-friend the score dropped as it was so typical. First, she doesn't recognize the man's dick when being raped. If she was being fucked by Tony so much, believe me she'd know his dick immediately. Second, as soon as she got into the car there was this guy who had 'broke' in, obviously she not only shares her pussy with Tony, she gave him a key to her car. So over all..disappointing. A better story would have the rapist use her again and again, secretly, turning her from Tony to this stranger who touched that primitive lust in her body.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Bad Story

The ending ruined it.

Scorpio44Scorpio44over 14 years ago
Predictable

Inconsistencies and details that didn't fit. They had been together six months and she didn't recognize his cock? If she had been blindfolded as soon as she was outside the car she wouldn't have been able to identify his body. Keep writing, use an editor and see if you can find a NEW way to end a story or a strange twist in the middle.

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