Anna's New Boss

It was just over a week before; Corrine had received a phone call around 10am and said that she had to meet with her father's solicitor, something to do with his will she remembered. And it was almost 9pm before she finally arrived home and claimed that she had visited her mother, simply to inform her of the meeting. Anna had no reason to doubt her, until now, and what she was reading.

'Maddy. Room 201. Carlton hotel. 12pm.'

Anna felt nauseous; she tasted that sweet sickly flavour and hurried to the bathroom, and kneeling on the floor with her head hanging over the pan she retched, being sick but bringing up nothing.

"Oh God, why? Why Corrine? You fucking bitch..." she gasped.

.......

Back at her desk Anna picked up her headphones, put them on and pulled them off again. She pulled open the drawer, stared at the contents for a few seconds then closed it. Reaching down she clamped the ankle cuff, unlocked, around her leg, then screaming like a child she shook her foot free.

Looking round the office she knew she couldn't stay there so she phoned Yvonne, a bright, bubbly woman who was Sheila's replacement while she was on maternity leave. She explained that both she and Corrine would be away until at least tomorrow, and that she had transferred all calls through to the main office. Yvonne asked if she was okay and Anna managed to convince her that she was just feeling a little sick and needed to go home.

........

It was only later that Anna realized that she couldn't remember a single detail about the journey home, one moment she was standing in her office not caring if she never saw the room again, the next she was in Corrine's bedroom thinking the very same thing. She could go to her own apartment but she didn't want to spend the night alone nor did she want to wait until Corrine came home. So she packed just what was necessary, leaving anything Corrine had bought her, and sitting on the bed she picked up the picture she had sent to Corrine and studied her lovers superimposed face. She looked so beautiful and Anna felt tears again welling up. She thought about the night that she had taken it; Corrine had been with Madeleine, had they laughed while looking at the photo of poor desperate Anna? Was she there when Corrine told her how to touch herself? Whispering in the background, giggling together as they thought what they could have her do? In a flash of anger Anna hurled the photo away, shattering it against the wall. She gathered her bags and without looking back strode from the room.

.........

Waiting in a small cafe and nursing her second cup of coffee Anna powered up her phone, there were four messages, all from Corrine. She wondered if they were pleas for forgiveness or something more final: a "sorry Anna, it's just not working out, I've found someone else, someone more suitable," kind of thing. She was tempted to delete them but her curiosity got the better of her and she pressed the button to hear what Corrine had to say.

The first was simply "hello Anna, it's Corrine. Would you call me please?"

"Hmm, fat chance," Anna mumbled.

Then "Anna, please will you call me? I need to talk to you."

Thirdly "Anna, I don't know what you're up to, or what you think is going on, but just stop it. Call me now... please."

Anna waited for the last message "Anna please call me. It's not what you think, please let me explain, I'm going out of my mind here...please," the last word sounded like it was said with a sob and Anna bit down on her knuckle. She almost relented but steeled herself and ended the connection.

Immediately the phone rang and she saw that it was Sheila. She thought about ignoring it, suspecting that Corrine would have called her, but she reasoned that Sheila really didn't deserve to be worried and so answered.

"Anna, where are you? What's going on? I've been trying to get hold of you."

"I'm sorry; I had my phone off..."

"Corrine called me; she sounded in a hullava state. What's happened Annie?" Sheila said before Anna could say more.

"It's okay, really. We just had a disagreement that's all. She shouldn't have called you, you have enough to worry about," Anna said. She really didn't want to explain how things really were, at least not over the phone.

"But where are you? She said you'd packed and gone."

"It's not that bad," Anna lied "I just wanted to shake her up, give her a reality check."

"Well it certainly worked. She was crying, she wouldn't admit it but I could tell she was."

"Look I'll call her, just give me a few hours okay? I need to straighten a few things out in my head," Anna suddenly felt like the guilty one, whatever Corrine had done she hated to think of her crying.

"But where are you? Will you be alright? Come here, we'll talk about it," Sheila said.

"It's okay, honestly. I'm with Janice, but please don't tell Corrine, I need to think. Look I have to go, I promise to tell you everything soon. Please let me do this my way."

"Okay, but call me first thing tomorrow. I'm here for you Annie, remember that."

"Thanks Sheila, you're the best. please don't worry about me, I swear it'll all be good in the end," Anna ended the call, she felt bad about lying to her friend, but somehow empowered knowing that Corrine was so desperate.

She drank the last of her coffee and dropped a pound on the table as a tip. Janice had pulled up outside her house as Anna was talking to Sheila, and she went to see her best friend, knowing that she would understand.

............

"Hello Annie, it's lovely to see you," Janice greeted, then saw the bags and Anna's bloodshot eyes" oh God, what is it? What's happened?"

"It's Corrine, she's cheating on me," and suddenly the dam burst and tears fell, Anna went to Janice and hugged her, sobbing into her chest.

..........

It took thirty minutes and two glasses of vodka before Anna was calm enough to talk, and another half hour to tell Janice everything that had happened.

"You're sure you're not jumping to conclusions Annie?" Janice said when she'd heard everything.

"Madeleine was in her hotel room at seven in the morning, why else would she be there?"

"I guess you do have a point," Janice conceded.

"And she lied to me, more than once. And each time she was with Madeline," Anna said.

"I can't understand it, you were so right together, made for each other."

"What's wrong with me? Why can't I ever keep anyone? Why do they all get tired of me?" Anna said in self pity.

"It's her loss Annie, there's nothing wrong with you."

"But I love her," Anna felt the sting of more tears.

Janice waited a few moments, allowing Anna to calm down "So what do you plan to do?" she then asked.

"I don't know. Can I stay here tonight?"

"Of course you can. But you'll have to see her, hear what she has to say," Janice said, putting her arm around Anna's shoulder.

"Tomorrow, I'll speak to her tomorrow," Anna reluctantly agreed.

...........

Janice woke Anna with coffee and toast the following morning. It was past ten o'clock and Janice had decided to take the day off from work to be with her best friend.

"How are you feeling?" she asked sitting on the foot of the bed.

"Like shit," Anna said causing them both to laugh "vodka always gives me a headache."

"I'll fetch you a couple of paracetamol," Janice said.

Anna sipped her coffee and checked her phone, which she had switched to silent the evening before. There were five calls and one message, all from Corrine. She pressed the button to listen to the message.

"Anna, please don't do this, please talk to me I'm begging you. Just call me... please?"

Janice returned just as Anna hung up "Corrine?" she asked.

Anna nodded and said "I should probably call her, she sounds really upset."

"Yes, you should. But remember that you're the victim here. Don't start feeling guilty because of what she did."

I won't," Anna said. Then taking a deep breath she dialled the number.

"Anna? Oh thank God, where are you, I've been going crazy..."

"Is she with you?" Anna interrupted.

"What?"

"Madeleine, is she there with you?" Anna repeated.

"Er, yes, but it's..." Anna hung up before Corrine could finish.

Anna's phone buzzed almost immediately and she angrily stabbed the receive button "how could you? Why? Corrine. Why?"

"Anna, Anna, wait please. It's not what you think, just listen to me."

"What? So you can tell me more lies?" Anna hissed.

"No, it's not like that. Look, will you meet me? Wherever you want, just give me a few minutes to explain, please?"

Anna hesitated and looked at Janice.

"I think you should, you'll never know the truth and might regret it for the rest of your life if you end it like this," Janice said.

After a few long seconds Anna agreed "I'll be in cafe blue at twelve," she said and hung up without waiting for an answer.

.........

Anna was nervous, she felt like a child in a world of adults. She kept telling herself that she wasn't at fault, and she almost believed it, almost but not quite. Throughout her life it had always been the same story, she couldn't remember a single time when she had deliberately let someone down. She hadn't had a vast number of lovers, just six to be precise, but it was always them who'd ended things, most did it gently, a couple with just a curt text. But it didn't matter because she always blamed herself, she wasn't good enough or she'd obviously done something wrong, something to drive them away. And now she realized exactly what: her willingness to comply, her need to please, agreeing to everything whether she wanted to or not. None of it ever built any respect. She saw herself as something just a little lower than others, so how could they imagine her differently? If she didn't matter in her own eyes how could she expect to matter to anyone else?

So she sat in Corrine's car that she'd taken the previous evening, looking at the window of cafe Blue. Sign writing and pictures etched into the glass blocked any attempt to see who was inside. Illustrations of men wearing berets and drinking wine, laughing with women smoking cigarettes in long holders, all looking oh so sophisticated and happy, their smiles forever frozen in place. Anna had always loved looking at that window, enjoying their happiness and camaraderie. Now she looked on in envy, wishing she was somewhere happy and joyful, anywhere but there.

As she walked through the door she saw that Corrine was already there, and then saw Madeleine sitting next to her. She almost turned and walked out again, but she clenched her fists at her sides and held her head up 'you're braver than that, you're the bigger person' she said to herself, and with trembling legs she walked to the table, and trying to keep her voice steady she said "what's she doing here?"

"Please sit down Anna, just let me explain. I got you coffee" Corrine replied, indicating the cup on the table.

Anna ignored the beverage but sat down anyway. She looked across at Corrine and she was shocked by her appearance: her hair, always so neat, hung lank and uncombed. Her make-up, usually so immaculate was non-existent, and her eyes were bloodshot and almost lifeless. Pain was etched on her face and Anna felt the urge to reach out and hold her, cursing herself for being the cause of so much anguish. But she hardened herself and said "you lied to me," her voice almost breaking.

"Yes I know, and I'm sorry, sorrier than you could know."

"Sorry that I found out?" Anna retorted.

"No it's not like that..."

"Not like what?" Anna snapped "not like you spent the night with her? Not like you lied to me about all the times you were with her? All those times you said you were in meetings you were lying." Corrine was about to protest but hesitated, and Anna saw the surprise in her eyes "You thought it was only once didn't you? You didn't know that I knew about all the other times," Anna felt that somehow she suddenly held the upper hand.

"How did you..." Corrine started.

"I checked your diary," Anna said.

"You went through my diary?" Corrine said incredulously "how could you?"

"What? That's worse than what you did?" Anna retorted.

Corrine seemed about to say something in anger, but sighed and slumped down in her seat "no you're right. I shouldn't have lied." she said looking at the table

"It's not just the lies, you were with her, fucking her," Anna reacted, louder than she meant causing people at the other tables to stare at them. Then in a quieter voice she said "cheating on me."

"No I never..."

"You said you loved me," Anna said almost in a whisper, but the words stopped Corrine as though Anna had screamed from the rooftop.

"I did, I do. Just let me explain." Corrine said earnestly.

"It's okay, I understand, I'm just a girl from the typing pool, I'm not rich and beautiful..."

"Don't you ever say that you're not beautiful," Corrine snapped.

"But how can I compete with people like her, like Madeleine..." Anna's voice was rising in volume.

"She's my sister," Corrine said.

Anna was stunned into silence. She looked from Corrine to Madeleine and then back again "You don't have a sister," she said, but with no conviction.

"I didn't know myself until a couple of months ago, and Madeleine is my half sister actually, it seems that daddy wasn't quite the upright man everyone believed him to be."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Anna said.

"That's my fault I'm afraid," Madeleine announced "I made Corrine promise not to tell anyone about me."

"But why?" Anna pressed.

"I never knew my...our father, I didn't even know who he was until my mother died, she never talked about him. She was an orphan herself so we had no other relatives, but I needed to know where I came from. I traced him; it's not difficult now, what with the internet. But by the time I found out who he was he had died. But I found I had a sister."

"But why keep it a secret?" Anna said.

" everyone loved our father," Corrine interjected, nodding toward Madeleine "my mother and the rest of my family thought he was a saint, can you imagine what would happen if they discovered that he had another woman, another child?"

"They're not my family," Madeleine said, I wasn't looking to make contact with them. And I didn't want to cause any distress. So I demanded that Corrine keep the knowledge of my existence to herself...but if I'd known how much it would hurt you Anna, I'd never had done it, believe me."

Anna's hands rested on the table, and as Madeleine spoke Corrine moved to touch them, Anna didn't pull away but she curled her fingers into balls so that Corrine could only caress her knuckles. Anna kept her focus on Madeleine and didn't notice the single tear rolling down Corrine's cheek.

Anna sat silent, trying to absorb all the information. And after what seemed an eternity she turned her head to look at Corrine, and biting her bottom lip she splayed her fingers, making contact "I fucked up again didn't I?" she said.

Corrine gripped Anna's hand as though she would never let go "no you didn't, I did. I thought I could do whatever I liked, not considering the effect it would have on others. My arrogance almost cost me the thing most precious to me...can you forgive me?"

Anna was unable to speak, she knew that she would cry if she tried, so she smiled the best that she could and nodded her head yes.

"Madeleine is going home tomorrow, back to south Africa. I don't know when we'll see each other again, that's why I wanted to spend so much time with her. I'll be taking her to the airport, will you come with us?"

Anna nodded again and managed a quiet "yes."

The three of them stood and among smiles and a few tears hugged each other.

"I'm deeply sorry Anna. Can you forgive me?" Madeleine said. Again Anna nodded.

"Shall we go home?" Corrine said.

"Yes please," Anna replied.

As they made their way to the car Anna said "I smashed our picture."

Corrine squeezed her hand and leaned into the younger women "it's okay, I've already had it repaired." and seeing the quizzical look on Anna's face said "I know some people, and with the right amount of money it's surprising what they can do."

Anna blushed "how many other people are going to see that photo of me almost naked?"

"I want the world to see, so everyone else can be jealous of what I have," Corrine beamed.

.......

They travelled in comfortable silence with Corrine driving, and holding hands they walked toward the apartment. As they reached the door Anna stopped, she waited for Corrine to halt and stood on tiptoe to kiss her.

"There's something I want to do, will you wait here and give me a few minutes?" she asked.

Corrine agreed and watched Anna enter the apartment. She waited; feeling a little conspicuous for five minutes then pushed the unlocked door with her fingertips. Anna knelt, wearing just her shoes, stockings and panties at the far end of the hallway. The pink collar was fastened about her slim neck. She couldn't suppress the grin breaking out on her face as she held up both hands offering the chain leash to her mistress.

Corrine walked slowly inside; she took the leash in one hand and looked down fondly at the kneeling girl. With a gentle tug she moved toward the bedroom.

"Come with me, we have a lot of making up to do."