April Can Be So Foolish

April was quiet for less than a minute until she realized she didn't really have any big unknowns that needed an answer. "No, I guess you're right. You know more about me than any other person in the world, and I know all I need to know about you...so you're right, there's no telling how long I would have danced around keeping the important stuff a secret," she finally agreed.

Nicki thought this was an appropriate time to take the necklace out of her pocket, "I want you to have this back. I think it now has a new meaning...a forever kind of meaning to us. Whenever I see this on you it will remind me to trust you...and when you see it, I hope it reminds you that I love you the way you are. And that I will walk beside you in any struggle you face."

The relief April felt was unlike any emotion she could ever recall. Relief, is this what it feels like, she wondered to herself. She didn't know then that this was just the first blushes of the depth of relief she would soon come to know, but first blushes are enough when they have been so rare.

The embrace they shared wasn't one of inflamed passion. This was different, is was an embrace of shared comfort and commitment. They both sensed that this was very real and very honest, and it felt perfect to them both after so many years of searching without really knowing what they were searching for. The words to adequately describe it were not yet there, those would come with time and years. But such is the way of love, it is like a newborn babe fresh and pure with a lifetime ahead to learn what it all means.

"I have one last thing I wanted to talk about," Nicki said.

"I think this is the time to get it all out," April replied, wondering what could be left to discuss.

"You mentioned in your letter that you were just waiting until you could afford the final surgeries you need to be finished with your transition. I want you to make plans for that to happen as soon as you can, because I'm paying for anything you need," Nicki said with soft tenderness in her words.

April raised her hands to her cover her mouth in unbelief that anyone would offer such a thing to her! "I couldn't...," she started to say before Nicki held up a hand to stop her.

"Shhh," she said softly. "It's something I want to do for us both. Now that I know what is keeping us apart, I wish we could do it all today. I know it's not that easy, but from now on it's not going to that hard either," Nicki reassured her.

"Nicki, we're talking about twenty grand here," April protested.

"I think that might be on the low side. And the point is, I don't care how much it costs. I want to do it and I can afford to do it. If it makes you feel better, that's less than the cost of a new work truck. And if you need more convincing, let's just say it's for me," Nicki said with a smile.

April wanted to say something witty, but the tears decided to come again. These were tears of happiness though, and that happiness was made even greater when Nicki wrapped her in her arms and held her tight as the years of pent up emotion drained from April's soul.

After an unmeasured time, Nicki asked, "Whatcha thinking?"

"I don't know if have the words to explain it all...like my life is finally beginning...like a newborn baby entering the world for the first time...like this is a dream. I feel an overwhelming calm that I have never experienced. And none of that really says how I feel...maybe just happy is the best word," April said and meant it all.

"Now I have a question," April said.

"Ask away," Nicki replied.

"Now you know why I was so stand-offish about intimacy...but I was wondering; If I left my underwear on would you mind sleeping with me tonight?" There, it was out in the open despite the apprehension she felt about a rejection.

"Silly girl, you must know I've been dying to do that? And I think the underwear will be more for you than me, but of course I want to spend tonight with you...but one night will not be enough dear lady. This is just the beginning and I want many more nights in your bed. But tonight will be a good start," Nicki said with a tender hug to punctuate her feelings.

*****

That night was a first for both. For April it really was the very first ever spent with a lover. And for Nicki too, one could say it was the first night spent with someone she truly loved. Such different paths they had walked to come to this night to share a bed...and to share the passion of first love with another person. Nicki respected April's apprehensions in regard to her body. She satisfied herself with the soft warmth that snuggled close and the soft and sensitive breasts that brought them both so much pleasure. And Nicki was surprised at April's eagerness...her hunger to explore and taste all of Nicki's own hidden treasures. And for a novice, Nicki had to wonder where and how she learned about just the right buttons to push to bring her such pleasure.

"I want to undress you," April had announced. Nicki obliged her and experienced the thrill of goosebumps as April's delicate fingers slowly stripped away the loose fitting casual clothing she was prone to wear. April was a little surprised that concealed beneath was a striking feminine beauty she hadn't imagined. Nicki had perfectly proportioned upturned breasts capped with large tight nipples. Her stomach was that of an athlete and showed her dedication to fitness. But April's ultimate goal had been lower down, and after the pants had hit the floor and shuffled out of the way, April knelt before her goddess and pressed her face to the soft fabric covering the final prize. She knelt there as time stretched to minutes, just breathing in the scent of another woman for the first time...that it was the woman of her first love made it all the more wonderful!

April finally stood back up, and the two kissed once more. Taking a hand, April led Nicki to the bed and asked her to lay down. On her back, Nicki watched every nuance of April's expressions as she knelt between her spread legs. As April inched up closer, she used her hands to explore the bare flesh of Nicki's inner thighs. Finally, with Nicki's help, April slipped the last scrap of cloth from her love, it was like one of life's big moments, the really big ones that define a major change never to be repeated. April had wondered for so long how it would feel and what she would do if she ever were to be in this place with a woman...and now it all came as natural as if she had been doing it her entire life. Her first taste of her lover's treasure was a combined exhilaration and serenity...it was a moment of completion...a long awaited discovery. It was that, a long awaited discovery of life itself...a life she had postponed for far too long!

Nicki lifted and spread her legs wider at April's first kiss. After only a moment she moaned her approval of the way April's virginal tongue was exploring and tasting her. She unconsciously began to help by grinding back against April's probing tongue. She too had postponed life for too long, and this was a clear reminder of how much of a mistake that had been. But the increasing shivers of pleasure radiating from her pussy drowned out further thought and sooner than she had wanted the tipping point of orgasm took hold..."Lick it baby...that's it right there...lick it," she moaned as her hands helped guide April's mouth to just the right places. "Ahhhh, yes, yes yes," she exclaimed as her orgasm shuddered through her body and she squeezed her legs tight to April's head!

Somehow, intuitively April knew just when to move the focus of her kisses to less sensitive places. She licked the creases where Nicki's leg's met her pussy...and Nicki once again spread herself in abandon to the attention April was lavishing on her...April moved that attention down to just below Nicki's opening and licked her way back up the center to the swollen nub of her recent attentions. Discovering the shift in taste and texture after Nicki's orgasm, April slowed down to fully sample the flavor of a woman for the first time. Soon her fingers were diving deep into the warm wetness she had triggered. Enjoying this new game, April made the circuit again, and again until finally she slowly licked her way up Nicki's belly...sampled her sensitive nipples one more time...up one side of her neck and ended with a wet and messy kiss on Nicki's eager lips!

Nicki wrapped her arms tight around the smaller woman and rolled her over on her back. It was Nicki now who was in charge of the games and she showed that by straddling April's torso and smiled down at her. "Don't get too used to that miss prissy, real soon you'll be the one laying helpless and spread wide. For now let's see how you like this," she said as she scooted further up until her wet folds covered April's face. As she started rocking slowly back and forth, she smiled when she felt the tongue once again begin to explore and pleasure her. April was trapped under her, but it was very obvious that she didn't mind being trapped one little bit. She hadn't expected it, but it had been so long...and this was the first time that real love was present...but the second orgasm was as intense as the first had been, and this time Nicki could take advantage of being on top and she ground her pussy hard into Aprils face as she squirmed through the final ripples of her climax!

Finally, Nicki eased herself off of April's face like a cowgirl swinging a leg over a saddle. She immediately bent forward and kissed her on the lips. "I thought you said you were a virgin," she teased.

April giggled and replied, "I guess some things just come naturally."

One more kiss, then, "Well, I guess you're a natural then because that was amazing. I forgot how good this is...I think we need to work on this more often."

"I'm game if you are," April teased back. She didn't say it, but this was her new best moment ever. It would always be her first time, at least in this body and she certainly had no complaints!

"Let's go shower," Nicki said. Then added, "It's up to you if you want to shower alone, but I'm fine either way...just so you know."

Those words meant a lot to April, but in the end she didn't want Nicki to see her down there until it was over. She hated to see it, and kept herself covered as much as possible.

"If you really don't mind, I want to wait. You've seen enough of the ugly me, and I want you to only see the real me."

"I totally understand baby. But maybe you can just put some shorts on and we can bathe each other. Then I'll give you the privacy you need to finish. I'll be waiting right here in this bed for you." Nicki suggested.

"That's a great idea...and you're the boss, after all," April replied.

"Yep, that's right you little pussy licker! So let's go get cleaned up, you've made a mess of me!" Nicki said with a happiness April had never heard.

*****

Six Months Later:

The surgeries had been hard, but not as hard as the many years of April's waiting had been. Those fears had lingered unresolved for too long and had grown large. From the very first time April had learned about the options for her body to be sculpted into the female form that lived in her mind, she knew that one day it would come true for her physical body too. Had she known back then that it would take so many years to finally get her real body...thankfully, she hadn't known and hope had sustained her. Nicki had spent almost every minute by her side during the many doctors and hospital visits. Despite having to temporarily put her lead superintendent Raymond in charge of the business for weeks at a time, she would not entertain any other options regardless of who suggested them. It was Nicki who had insisted on April finding the best clinic and the best physicians to take care of her, and that had entailed out of state travel and extended stays. That April had already completed most of the less intensive cosmetic surgeries and procedures, helped to lessen the extent of disability and down time.

But now it was finally over...and in her wildest fantasies about her future body April had not dreamed high enough! She would say that an unbearable weight had been lifted, but even that fell short in trying to describe such feelings...and it was her feelings, her secret inner self that had experienced the most transformation! She hadn't really understood that all of it would affect her soul more than her body. But it was like her spirit and entire being had been transformed, not just her body. She hadn't expected that going into all of this, but it was a solid reality now that it was over!

*****

Nicki still owned her small home, but she was rarely there anymore, and they had talked about putting it on the market. She had moved in to care for April just before the first surgery...and never left. It was as natural as rain on a winter day in Oregon that she belonged here with April. Indeed life moved forward, and they had settled into the comfortable phase of being inseparable parts of each other's lives.

"I think I found just the place we've been looking for," Nicki told April as they ate dinner, and the winter storm lashed sheets of rain against the seaward windows of the house.

"I've heard that one before," April teased.

"No really, it sounds perfect. It's on the Caribbean side just south of Cancun. Private beach and individual cabañas too," Nicki continued unfazed by the taunt. Sure, maybe she was being a little obsessive, but she wanted it to be perfect.

"Well, you're the boss," April said, unable to resist the play on their favorite private joke.

"But I want to be sure you'll like it as much as me," Nicki said.

"Okay, we'll look at it later," April finally conceded. They both knew she was just as excited as Nicki about the trip they had planed. But despite their running joke about being the boss, they had both naturally settled into the comfortable relationship of shared strengths and weaknesses most couples develop.

"I didn't tell you, but Carl Franz called this afternoon and they want to go forward with the design work for that project down in Newport," April added eager to share the good news. Even her neglected design business seemed to be getting a new lease on life now that the anxiety and depression had faded.

"That's great! Have they decided yet on how many phases," Nicki asked.

"He said he wanted to get the whole project designed and permitted, and then they would have the flexibility to go either way," April replied.

"So long as it doesn't get in the way of Cancun," Nicki said.

"I may have to hire some help," April said.

"I'm not so sure I want anyone working here...maybe we could set up a place at my shop," Nicki replied.

April smiled to herself, she had never dated a man...but sometimes she wondered if they were as stubborn as Nicki. But it was just an idle musing, she actually adored Nicki's confidence and wouldn't have her any other way.

*****

Finally everything was in place, those mystical stars had apparently aligned and they were on their way to Cancun...and beyond. This really was a special trip, they wanted something big and wonderful to be the lasting memory of all April had endured to become who she now was...and they wanted a lasting memory of their decision to get married upon their return. That April was a new person was obvious to Nicki, so many of the fears and doubts that had plagued her had vanished like a morning fog bank. Lurking inside had been a bright and vibrant woman, and finally that person was shining her light into the world. That they never wanted to be separated again was clear to them both, and marriage was the final brick in a fortress both never thought they would have...the fortress so many take for granted was a rare and precious miracle for them.

Nicki had insisted on taking it slow and careful when the doctor told them that it was safe to introduce intimacy back into their lives. The clinic had done some initial tests not long after everything had healed enough to do so. The surgery had successfully enabled clitoral sensation and the dilation had gone well. Nicki had learned as much as she could about the complex surgeries that April had braved, but waited patiently until April was ready to reintroduce intimacy. The doctor had spent time with Nicki alone and advised that often it is best for the person to explore and learn about her own new body first, and she and April had followed that advice. As it turned out, the degree of sexual pleasure she experienced was a wonderful surprise for April. She had read and studied as much as possible before hand, but that was no substitute for real life. That she achieved orgasm was more than she had been willing to hope for!

The doctor had privately counseled Nicki and informed her of some of the emotions that new patients might experience. One was that they needed to become confident that they were attractive enough and the genitals appeared authentic before feeling ready to be seen in an intimate way. She had given some advice on how to begin and reassured her that it would be somewhat easier since they were in a same-sex relationship. The maintenance of vaginal depth would be more critical, but a necessary chore she was happy to cope with. But it would also be possible to substitute sex toys and vibrators in the near future. Nicki had given close attention to all that the doctor had shared, read all the literature she had been given and felt comfortable in her understanding. In fact, she was thrilled and eager to begin the physical part of the relationship and give April what she had never really experienced.

But the worst was behind her and this trip would be their celebration.

*****

The first class seat upgrade that Nicki had insisted on turned out to be a great idea, and as the flight attendant gently woke them from a sound sleep, the aircraft was already in its final approach into Cancun. After an unexpectedly easy process of entry, they walked hand in hand to the area set aside for the various resort shuttles. They and another couple were the only guests for this flight and they were on their way in no time.

It seemed to April a coincidence that the other guests were also a lesbian couple. Nicki hadn't mentioned that this was one of the reasons it took so long to find the perfect resort. She had asked her friends and searched online until she found this small secluded place that catered to lesbians. She knew it would offer a more relaxed atmosphere for their special moment. When they finally arrived after an hour drive, the scene that greeted them was far more impressive than they had expected! It really was like a paradise, and a perfect escape from the Oregon rainy season and all of the little worries of everyday life.

After getting settled in their own private cabana, they were both pretty drained from the trip. It wasn't easy to get from the coast of Oregon to Cancun Mexico, considering the fact that one day of travel was to get to the nearest airpot in Portland, stay a night in a motel and then catch an early morning flight to Mexico. They both felt like just laying on the inviting bed and relaxing. But April convinced Nicki that a quick shower would make it even better, so they soon found themselves exploring and bathing one another's bodies under a pleasant spray of cool water.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are lately," Nicki asked as she washed April's already clean breasts one more time.

"It's been awhile,"April pouted, looking up into Nicki's eyes.

Nicki brushed the wet strands of hair up from April's forehead and kissed her softly just below her hairline. April snuggled her face down to rest just above Nicki's breast and softly said, "I love you...I can't say it enough, I love you so much."

As they rocked in their embrace, the water trickling over their skin...there was only this moment that felt real. The past, with all of it's disappointments and loneliness had drifted far away. The excitement of this exotic vacation melted into an unexpected peace that seemed to envelop them both in a soft protective cocoon where only they existed. A communion of love that few ever experience.