All Comments on 'April's Problem'

I'm sick of these stories where mom, sister etc. etc. Get pregnant and have a perfect baby. Where more RL baby comes out with 1 eye or mentally permanent 3 year old or such defect.

Not really sure how to feel about this one...for a cell phone novel it was Ok but for a serious story here it needs quite a bit of work. There are grammatical errors every few lines, so I suggest you start there. The narrative is consistent with you other works, yet the whole telegraphic lines kill the mood quite a bit as they lack the emotional note for such a story. If you'd be willing to expand the story a bit to give the characters some more "meat to the bones" and than add some more dialogues in proper fashion I believe you could have a great story on your hands. Consider all this and maybe post a revisited version and see how it goes then.

As things are now I can't give you more than 3*, the theme and original story is nice but the telegraphing it and rushing the ending undercuts the effort.

That's a fallacy, for the record. Defects like the type you're talking about only occur as the result of generations of inbreeding. Even then, what you suggest is wildly unlikely, unless those generations of inbreeding bred for a low intelligence that wound up with the eventual offspring having an accident with a chainsaw. You clearly watch too much gore porn movies like The Hills Have Eyes, combined with too much reading of religious texts, like the Bible.

Why would you do another guy when your husband is dead.Its just wrong.No No No

This IS a major trauma! Your dismissal of it as 'meh' switched me off, but I'm not a one bomber, so no vote.

First, the issue of lack of grief. Having lost a loved one myself I know that the grief is way too powerful to allow this sort of activity so soon. Unless she has been in a loveless, perhaps abusive, relationship for the past sixteen years (the girl is 15), she would not have been receptive let alone initiate such actions.

Second, the extreme brevity for such an intense situation. Husband dies, kids go to school as normal, wife fucks brother and gets pregnant. Oh, and now she is rich.

And they live happily ever after, not caring what anyone thinks. After all, their secret is safe since only her best friend, her doctor (sort of sworn to secrecy here), the 15 year old daughter, her daughter's best friend (also 15) and her 10 year old son know.

Did I miss anything? Oh yes, NO STARS.

Very confusing story. A lot of inconsistencies, not very erotic or sexy and the story line is kind of all over the place...

that was a very good story. you didn't carry it on, and continue their love making. The story was told and finished with the right type of ending. I enjoyed reading it. Thank you.