by goolwaman17
You had a good story, then ruined it with bad spelling and grammar. Nothing puts me off a story more than that pair. If you are going to submit a story, use the Spelling and Grammar button on Word. Otherwise, you have the makings of a good story here.
It amazes me how many writers employ the word black but don't give an accurate description of a black person. You are now counted amongst that group.
The human genome has the ability to produce 7000 different shades of brown from licorice black to albino. When describing a black/African-American or any other person of color it would behoove you to add something like 'burnt amber' 'nutmeg' 'chocolate' 'honey' and if you have to be crass 'high-yella' and 'red-bone'.
I've grown accustomed to the limited personas given to black male characters by Literotica authors (its part of experience of being an American of color who reads stories by limited authors) but the inability to convey the visual through your words is something I can't get over.
Do yourself a favor if you're going to try this interracial story-thing again, try to look at different people of color and black people especially and ask yourself how can I accurately describe this person's skin tone compared to my own or better still another black person of differing complexion?
Otherwise the story was eh-okay. Give it another shot because it has potential.
You've never heard of a woman's citreous? How embarrassing to be you. It's that little thing above her vegetarian, you dummy.
"He then spent time kissing Jane and playing with her citreous."
Get a fucking editor. I couldn't even read this shit.
Let them have a threesome. Make the mother-in-law eat her pussy.
The suspense is killing me as I am sure it does Jane and Amanda.