Batgirl: Sex Bomb Ch. 08

"We shall have to take care of Bull and Shorty first," murmured the Caped Crusader, after a couple of minutes. "Without alerting the others to that fact, if humanly possible. They are all armed no doubt, so we must avoid risking the lives of Batgirl and Sparrow at all costs."

Robin nodded his acceptance. Beads of sweat had started to form on his forehead. The next few minutes would be crucial.

Saturday, 10:25 am

"I wonder if the Joker will allow us to have our evil way with those two sexy bitches before we have to fit 'em with cement overshoes and dump 'em in the bay?" Shorty murmured, a lewd leer on his rodent-like features, as he stared into the distance, eyes partially unfocussed, as he imagined what he'd like to do to the ravishing redhead and her blonde sidekick.

Swissshhh! Clunk!

"Wha'd'ya think, Bull?" he added.

There was no reply. "I said, wha'd'ya think?" Shorty repeated, tipping his derby further back on his head and half-turning toward the big man seated beside him. "What the...?"

Bull was slumped back on the couch, head back, mouth open, blood seeping from a nasty looking wound in his forehead. The little man, blinked once, as comprehension dawned.

"SHIT!" Shorty snarled, making a grab for his automatic weapon.

Swissshhh! Clunk!

A second Batarang flew through the air and struck him on the side of his temple, just as his fingers were closing around the butt of the pistol. With a soft sigh, Shorty collapsed forward onto the low table, knocking both weapons onto the floor, with a loud metallic clatter.

"What's all the noise out there?" called the voice of Commissioner Schmitt, from within the inner chamber. There was no reply.

Like two silent wraiths, the Dynamic Duo loped through the warehouse and took up their positions on either side of the open grinning mouth of the huge clown head, their backs pressed hard up against the crumbling papier mache.

"I said, what's with all the...." Schmitt repeated, as he stepped out of the hideous grinning mouth. His eyes alighted on the two unconscious hoodlums and he immediately went for his service pistol. As his hand came up, finger on the trigger, he half-turned, spotting the Batman to his left.

"YOU?" he gasped, incredulously.

But, even as his gun hand came up, the flying boot of Robin struck his wrist, knocking his arm up and destroying his aim, just as he squeezed the trigger.

BANG!

The bullet ricocheted off the overhead ironwork, with a loud whining noise and Batman grabbed Schmitt's wrist and twisted it viciously before he could take aim again.

"Drop the gun, Schmitt, or I will be forced to break your wrist," the Batman warned, through gritted teeth, his eyes glittering, menacingly.

"Yeah, and that goes double for me," growled the Boy Wonder, grabbing the man's other wrist from behind and twisting his arm high up his back.

"Yeowww!" Schmitt screeched. He had never been one to withstand unnecessary pain, so he dropped the gun, with a noisy clatter. "Please don't hurt m-me!" he blubbered, as the Dark Knight spun him around and twisted his gun arm high up between his shoulder blades. "Aaaaaahhhh!"

"Move!" Batman snarled, frog-marching the police officer back into the boudoir in front of him.

"Give yourself up, Joker!" he called, as they entered the room. "The police are on their way here. There's no escape this time, you Ghastly Green-haired Ghoul!"

"No way, you Masked Moron," snarled the Joker. He had retreated behind the Batgirl, still hanging by her wrists from the vertical length of rope, at the sound of the gunshot. His left arm was wrapped around the heroine's spectacular chest, the pale clawed fingers of his hand, digging into the soft flesh of her right breast, while the right hand held what looked like a standard playing card to her exposed throat.

The dazed looking redhead, gasped with pain, as the hooked fingers dug into her tender tit flesh.

The Caped Crusader paused, as he realized that the playing card must be one of the Joker's special razor-edged specials, and that the green-haired maniac wouldn't hesitate to slit Batgirl's throat, without a second thought.

"Drop that diabolical card, Joker, the game is up!" he demanded.

The Clown Prince of Crime, cackled, insanely. "No, you release Schmitt, Batman, or the Batslut here, gets to lose her pretty little head!" He burst into another fit of insane laughter, knowing he had the upper hand over his arch nemesis.

The Caped Crusader hesitated. He could try to rush the insane maniac before he could carry out his murderous threat, but the odds on success were pretty long, OR he could appear to surrender and try to catch the green-haired psychopath by surprise, once he had stepped away from the girl. He decided on the latter course of action.

"Okay, Joker, you win," he growled, releasing his hold on the Acting Commissioner, who pulled away with an angry snarl.

Schmitt stepped through the clown's head entrance, passing Robin on the way out, working his aching arm, to help relieve the agony. The Boy Wonder was frozen into position, uncertain what to do next.

Schmitt retrieved his discarded pistol, then herded the Boy Wonder inside the boudoir, alongside his mentor, with a menacing wave of his loaded weapon.

By now, the Joker had stepped out in front of the Batgirl and had his own handgun trained on the Dark Knight, who was standing with both arms raised toward the ceiling.

"Hee, hee, hee!" the gruesome clown chuckled. "You thought that playing card was one of my special razor edged ones, didn't you, Batmoron? Well, it WASN'T! It was just an ordinary playing card, which I happened to find in my jacket pocket. That card couldn't have sliced through butter, let alone the Batslut's throat! Har, har, har!"

He glanced over at the black and white costumed villainess, who had a strange expression on her face. "Tie 'em up, Harley! I hate gatecrashers at my little soirees, especially ones who try to ruin all the fun. Ho! Ho! Ho!"

Harley blinked, then nodded. "Why sure, Sugar!"

"Why you unmitigated scoundrel," Batman snarled, taking a menacing step toward the Joker.

"Back up, Batmoron," snarled the green-hared maniac, waving his pistol threateningly.

Harley stepped over to the Dark Knight and, pulling his hands behind his back, began to tie his wrists together, with a length of white nylon cord. "Sorry 'bout this Caped Crusader," she whispered, with a barely suppressed giggle. "In different circumstances, we maybe could've had some kinda kinky fun together."

When she had finished her rope work, she did the same to Robin, using a second length of nylon cord, then stepped away and nodded to her Puddin'. "All done, Mistah J."

"Mmmmwwwwhahahahaaaa!"

The Joker's long peel of insane laughter, echoed around the old warehouse. At last, he had all four of Gotham's caped vigilantes in his clutches. He had dreamed of this moment, during his long period of incarceration. The Harlequin of Hate did a little jig of glee on the spot, like some ghastly, demented leprechaun.

"This is the happiest day of my life, Batman," he chortled, tears of joy streaming from his eyes and ruining his carefully applied clown make-up. He dabbed at them, with a polka-dot handkerchief. "How can I ever thank you all for blundering into my hideout, like unsuspecting moths to the flame! Heh, heh, heh!"

Batgirl, who had finally fully recovered her senses, had been listening to the conversation with increasing alarm. She realized that she had to do something fast and try to catch the grinning maniac by surprise, if they were all going to get out of this predicament alive.

She stood on her tip-toes and shuffled her feet backward, as far as the restraining rope would allow. Then, lifting her feet off the floor, she swung forward in a short arc, taking her full weight on her arms. Her fully extended right leg swept forward in a vicious rising trajectory, as she employed every ounce of force she could muster. Her boot-clad foot, rose between the Joker's slightly parted legs and the steel toe-cap connected, heavily, with that most delicate part of his disgusting male anatomy.

"Aaaiiiiiieeeeee!" The Clown Prince of Crime screeched in agony, the automatic pistol flying from his grasp, as he staggered forward a couple of paces then started to crumple to the floor.

"What the fu..." Peter Schmitt, who had been standing facing the Caped Duo, spun around to face the Joker, as the shrill scream echoed throughout the warehouse. His gun was raised, ready to fire, but before he could pull the trigger, Batman's booted foot struck him in the small of his back, with tremendous force, sending the crooked cop stumbling forward, to go sprawling, face down.

Before the police officer could scramble to his feet, Batman had yanked his hands free of their loose bindings, courtesy of Harley Quinn, and was upon him, grabbing the wrist of his gun hand and pounding it against the floor, until Schmitt released the weapon, with a defeated screech of agony.

Aided by Harley, Robin pulled his hands free of his slack nylon bonds and bounded over to the still groggy Joker. He dragged the green-haired ghoul to his feet, by his jacket collar, before the Joker could recover sufficiently to go for his gun.

Batman arose to his feet, dragging the Acting Police Commissioner up with him.

"Never count your chickens before they're hatched, Joker!" the Dark Knight offered, addressing the green-haired lunatic, as if he were some backward child. He tossed Schmitt's police special over to the harlequin costumed blonde. "Thank you for your help, Doctor Quinzel. Much appreciated! Please keep that gun trained on these criminals, just in case one of them decides to try something foolish, while I'm contacting the police!"

The slim blonde gulped and nodded, anxiously, before shakily training the handgun on the two criminals.

The green-haired ghoul stared at Harley, open-mouthed, almost frothing with indignation. "You traitorous bitch, Harls," he spat. "How could you do this to me?"

The girl stared back, tearfully. "I'm sorry, Mistah J, but I couldn't let you murder these innocent people. There was no other way. Sorry, Puddin', but I still love you... honest!"

Before the Caped Crusader could make the call on his Batphone, a posse of uniformed police officers rushed into the boudoir, guns drawn, led by none other than Chief O'Hara.

"Begorra, Batman! Looks like we arrived just too late to join in the fun," the florid faced Irishman exclaimed, a little out of breath, his face breaking into a relieved grin, as he took in the scene. He turned to a fellow officer. "Cut those prisoners down, Murphy," he ordered, brusquely. "Then find something to cover them up with."

Chief O'Hara then turned to the shapely, harlequin clad blonde, who was still shakily pointing the gun at the Joker, despite the fact that two brawny armed policemen had just taken him into custody.

"Better hand over that gun, lassie," he growled. "One false move and my men will be forced to shoot you down!"

"Steady, Chief, she's on our side," cautioned the Caped Crusader, with a rye grin.

-oOo-

Joker & his gruesome gang, finally captured!

The two Costumed Cuties and Officer Thackeray rescued from their dire dilemma!

For any outstanding questions that you might have, dear reader, read on, as we come to the Conclusion of our convoluted tale.

Conclusion: Run That Past Me Again!

Saturday, 4:05 pm

There was a polite knock on the open door. Jim Gordon's eyes widened with delight, as he looked up from his chair, behind his desk in GCPD headquarters. "Come in, come in!" he called out, beckoning his latest visitors into his office, with a welcoming smile.

The office was becoming pretty crowded. Already standing around the large, imposing desk of the recently reinstated Police Commissioner, was his second in command, Chief O'Hara, his lovely red-headed daughter, Barbara, and her cute blonde friend from the library, Jennifer Goodbody.

"Thanks for dropping by, Caped Crusaders," Commissioner Gordon added, rising to his feet to greet the latest arrivals.

Batman strode over to the Commissioner and gripped his outstretched hand, before pumping it, vigorously. "Good to have you back at the helm, Commissioner Gordon!" he declared, emotionally. "The place just wasn't the same without you."

Jim smiled. "It's good to be back, Batman, although I'm still somewhat baffled by this whole sequence of events," admitted the aging policeman, shaking his head, with an embarrassed grin on his face. "As I understand it, that Crown Prince of Criminality, the Joker, was behind this whole confusing caper?"

The Dark Knight nodded, soberly. "Correct Jim! The Ace of Knaves had linked up with Officer Peter Schmitt, in a cunning scheme that was guaranteed to get you out of the way, while they masterminded the biggest crime wave in the history of our fair metropolis. At the same time, the Green-haired Ghoul, together with a further trio of dastardly accomplices, was hoping to eliminate Robin, Batgirl, Sparrow and myself, thus leaving Gotham City wide open to numerous criminal acts of robbery and violence. The former Acting Commissioner of Police, has just provided us with a comprehensive list of further crimes that were planned to go down."

"But why did they break into the police armory and steal all those weapons?" enquired the police commissioner's red-haired daughter, pushing the bridge of her large-framed spectacles back up her cute button nose with one finger, a puzzled look on her pretty face. Barbara was wearing her usual 'sensible' street attire, thus disguising her outstanding figure.

Robin stepped in to answer the librarian's question. "The way WE have it figured, Ms. Gordon," he said, somewhat superciliously, "the weapons robbery served a duel purpose." He failed to notice the Dark Knight rolling his eyes up to the ceiling, at the use of the word 'WE' and continued. "Coupled with some well placed rumors, it laid the first seeds of doubt about the Commissioner's veracity and it also enabled them to widely distribute the stolen guns throughout the Gotham underworld, in readiness for the ensuing crime wave. Later, it enabled their hired muscle, Bull and Shorty, to plant incriminating evidence in Jim's home, thus ensuring that he would eventually end up with a long stretch in the pokey."

Batman groaned, beneath his breath. Robin had obviously been watching too many old, late-night gangster movies on the cable TV channels.

The Boy Wonder paused. He had suddenly noticed that the two girls were holding hands and Jenny's big blue eyes were locked on Barbara's face, rather than on his own handsome features.

The senior Caped Crusader took up the explanation, once more. "Schmitt had already squirmed his way into favor with Mayor Lindsay and several other members of the Police Commission, so his promotion to Acting Police Commissioner was merely a formality, once Jim was out of the way. Chief O'Hara..." he paused here, to nod toward the Irishman, "despite his honesty and integrity, has always been a little too outspoken, for some of the more 'politically correct' members of the establishment, so he was deliberately overlooked."

The uniformed policeman frowned at this but nodded his concurrence.

"The Brink's security truck robbery, was merely the first of many major crimes that were scheduled to take place in Gotham, without any interference from the forces of law and order. Several major banks and jewelry stores, were scheduled to be robbed over the next few weeks, with complete impunity for those committing these heinous crimes, provided they paid a portion of their ill-gotten gains to the Joker. Luckily, Schmitt was only too willing to spill the beans, after his arrest, and the Chief here, is in the process of arranging a few little surprises for the thieves, when the attempted robberies take place."

"Indeed I am, Caped Crusader!" confirmed the florid faced Irishman, in his lilting brogue. "With a little luck, we should get our hands on most of the major players in the Gotham City underworld."

"Yeah, surprising how co-operative Schmitt became, after we dangled him over the edge of the roof of Police Headquarters, by his ankles," chortled the Boy Wonder, gleefully.

Batman gave him a long, wooden stare, then turned back to Jim Gordon. "Robin is, ah, just joking of course, Commissioner Gordon," he added, hastily. "We would never resort to such unseemly, not to mention illegal, tactics."

"What's going to happen to Doctor Quinzel?" asked Jennifer.

"Well, she DID help Robin and myself, by deliberately leaving the ropes tied loosely about our wrists," admitted the Dark Knight. "So, I have promised to put in a good word with her parole board. That won't be sufficient to keep her out of jail, of course. After all, she did break the conditions of her early release and aided and abetted in the escape of the Joker from Arkham Asylum but, with any luck, she won't have any further time added to her existing sentence."

Commissioner Gordon nodded and turned to his second-in-command. "I understand that Officer Thackeray will be kept in hospital for a couple of nights, Chief, just as a precaution, to ensure there is no lasting damage caused by his injuries?"

O'Hara nodded. "Yes indeed, Sir! The brave boyo has a nasty gash on his head, but he's going to be fine, to be sure." He glanced over at Barbara. "He has asked if you might visit him before he's discharged, Ms. Gordon."

Barbara nodded, vigorously. "I fully intend to, Chief," she confirmed, with a smile. She was hoping that their budding romance might blossom into something special and was going to pay the handsome police officer a visit in hospital, later that evening.

"I think that young man will go far in the service, Commissioner!" O'Hara added.

"I agree with you, whole-heartedly, Chief!" Jim replied, before changing the subject slightly. "It is a shame that Batgirl and her lovely costumed partner, Sparrow cannot be with us, this afternoon. I would've liked to have thanked them both, personally, for the part they played in the successful outcome to this case." The Police Commissioner would never have admitted it, but he had developed a bit of a 'thing' for the gorgeous Batgirl, especially since she had taken to wearing her revealing new Batcostume.

"For some reason, they were unable to attend," replied Batman, with a slight smile on his lips.

"No doubt hot on the trail of some other desperados," the Commissioner mused, aloud, before turning to address his lovely daughter.

"I was a little disappointed that you didn't find the time to visit me in jail, Barbara dear," he said, in a slightly reproachful tone. "It was a harrowing experience, hopefully one I won't have to go through ever again."

"Um, ah, sorry 'bout that, daddy, but Jenny and I were both a little, um, TIED UP at the time, so I couldn't make it!" Barbara squeezed Jennifer's hand, surreptitiously, and was rewarded with a quiet little titter. "I was very concerned though," she added, trying not to smile. "None of us ever doubted your innocence, daddy."

-oOo-

When the meeting eventually broke up, Barbara phoned for a cab for herself and Jennifer, explaining to everyone, that Jenny was going to accompany her back to her place, for a bite to eat and a freshen up, prior to their both visiting Officer Thackeray in the Gotham General.

Jennifer sidled over to Robin and, in a quiet whisper, arranged to see him the following evening, smiling at the look of disappointment on his face, before following Barbara out of the door.

"Never appear too eager," Jenny informed Barbara, as the two girls rode down in the elevator, "or guys start taking you for granted."

The serious look on Jennifer's face, almost caused Barbara to burst out laughing, but she managed to control herself and nodded, sagely. "Very true," she agreed.