All Comments on 'Be Careful'

- rape it is - regardless of your excuses (but you do admit, though, that you might spend many years in jail).

I think you DID get the category right.

I appreciate you NOT trying to turn anyone on with this confessional.

What you don't mention, is the need for therapy.

Therapy for the women you rape, and the therapy YOU need to try and stop.

I wonder if you have or have not spent time in jail because of this?

We might hope that prison might provide some of the therapy needed.

(at least a realization that you have to STOP doing this to women and to yourself)

But real time counseling, and the need to develop tools to combat the 'urges', yes you ARE scarred for life. But if you ever start feeling sorry for yourself, remember all of the women you raped (or even just tried to). Think of how scarred for life THEY are. Think of the destruction you have done to THEM. You admit that you haven't always been "successful" in "turning" them on with your forced acts. Even in those failures, you STILL have destroyed some woman's sense of self and basic dignity. Somehow I think that THAT has been the result MORE often than you care to admit to yourself.

You probably are correct that you are too sick to have a normal relationship. You never learned how to experience love, and how sex is meant to be a shared communion of feelings between two CONSENTING adults who CARE about eachother. I'd hope that the therapy you need would show you how THAT is what you should be seeking out, instead of repeating the same rapist fantasies of your youth. It is a hard road ahead. May be putting this down in print, WILL help someone else think twice before forcing themselves on and/or preying upon reluctant women. But in the end, IF you WERE trying to caution others...

I don't like the title of this confessional essay. "Be careful" ISN'T the same thing as saying "DON'T DO THIS!"

Even: "The sad tale of how I ruined my life by hurting others and myself" would serve to illustrate what I HOPE was the theme of/purpose behind your essay.

You say you weren't about pain, and weren't trying to hurt. But that right there is the disconnect. You have a lifetime of IGNOREING the emotional pain delivered with forced rape. And may be just recently, you have begun reevaluation of the emotional damage you have done to yourself.

Non-erotic indeed, but I DO appreciate your courage in sharing this. I'm sure that this was a step. Perhaps only a first step, but Hopefully a step along the way towards some rehabillitation. While I'll never condone the actions of your past, perhaps the actions of your future can still serve as an inspiration. May be you can turn your illness into a success story. May be one day you'll be able to say with confidence that you have wrestled with a sexual addiction that centered on dysfunction, but with the right kind of help.....YOU WILL NEVER RAPE ANY WOMAN EVER AGAIN!

Good Luck with that!

because no matter the circumstances, a rape is still a rape. The "yes means yes" law states that there must be "an affirmative, unambiguous and conscious decision'" by each party to engage in sexual activity. "Affirmative consent must be ongoing throughout a sexual activity and can be revoked at any time." Clearly missing in this story.