Becoming a Star

"I mean never. Really. I mean it. I promise you I've never so much as even looked at another guy that way." I cleared my throat nervously. "Or so I thought. Until you put your cock in my ass that is. Now I'm wondering where that passion came from, have my glances in the locker rooms meant more than I ever knew."

He grinned mischievously. "Oh. My. God. I've just fucked a real virgin guy. No shit?"

"No shit."

"And I turned you to the wilder side of life, huh?"

He burst out laughing and took my hand in his, his fingers rubbing my skin gently. I must have turned red as a beet.

"You're blushing!" He leaned toward me conspiratorially. "Was I good for your first time? Did you really, really like me?"

He was mocking me. If it was possible my face got even redder and I yanked my hand out of his. Immediately he was gentle with me again.

"Hey, I'm just teasing. And I know exactly how you feel about now. I was depressed for two months after I did my first one. I threw up for days every time I'd think about the guy I'd fucked in that movie."

I laughed. "Are you saying I'm a real improvement over him? Man, he must have been a total dog."

"Nah. He was actually decent looking kid but I hadn't ever so much as looked at another guy in a homo kind of way either. Then, not only am I in bed naked with another man but he was a real feminine pretty boy type of guy. The so called story line was how a big strong Marine got so desperate for sex he decided to fuck the ass of a pretty boy who looked almost like a girl."

"Those two have got a real fetish about military men, haven't they?"

He burst out laughing and people at nearby tables stared.

"Man, you should have seen my second one. Frank took me and this illegal alien Mexican guy out to some big farm he'd rented and the story line was I was an Air Force pilot who crashed in Mexico. A Mexican army officer found me wandering in the jungle and we both got lost again. So we fucked each other to pass the time away until we could find our way back to civilization."

I started giggling. "Those two deserve an Oscar for screenwriting, don't they?"

The people around us must have thought we were high because we were laughing and giggling so much. Jamie was laughing so much that he started coughing. He managed to choke out the story of his second movie.

"You wouldn't believe what a disaster that movie was. Homer called the Mexican guy Jose because no one had a clue what his real name was and didn't really want to know. He could hardly speak a goddamn word of English so we had to get by with the little bit Spanish that I learned in high school. And then I fucked this guy while he was bent over a tree stump while we were naked in the bushes that were supposed to pass for a jungle."

Jamie was laughing so hard tears ran down his face and other patrons had gotten quiet and were listening to our conversation.

"Homer had been jacking off watching us fuck and while he was setting up the next scene both he and Jose walked into a bunch of poison ivy. We were all naked and when I saw it was poison ivy Frank and I both put on our clothes and told the two poisoned ones to stay away from us. End of movie. Frank ended up having to take Homer to the emergency room because he had poison ivy rash everywhere; all over his ass and dick, on his legs and feet, and on his hands. He was in agony and Frank and I still laugh about it.

"What about the other guy, the Mexican?"

"God only knows what happened to that zero Jose. I'd have given anything to be a fly on the wall listening to him trying to explain how poison ivy got his dick. Frank told me all about Homer's crazy trip to the ER. Ask him if you ever see him again. He'll enjoy telling you because it pisses Homer off so much."

We were silent for a few minutes and the rest of the patrons stopped paying attention to us.

"Why not do straight porn, Jamie? I wouldn't ever have agreed to this if I'd known it was a queer flick. I just thought I was masturbating for anyone interested in watching, women or men."

He grimaced.

"I didn't have much choice. My ass was in jail and I wasn't going to get out until I came up with four thousand dollars for my ex-wife. Plus, all the fucking court costs, my lawyer's fees, and a shitload of other mess. I didn't know who else to call so I called Frank. I'd done some work for him at his house and he and Homer drooled all over me the whole time I was there. I was desperate and I knew Frank was a trust fund baby so I figured I'd just fuck the hell out of those two old queens so he'd get me out of jail."

"And did you?"

"I'm out of jail, aren't I" he grinned.

"You know what I mean, smart ass. Did you fuck those two?"

He laughed. "They thought they'd died and gone to heaven. I fucked 'em for two days."

"And the porno movies?"

"You know, I did a major remodel job on Frank's house and he's got a couple thousand films; everything Bette Davis and Joan Crawford ever did, Judy Garland, too. But the bulk of the movies are gay porn, most of them made by Frank and Homer. Frank told me he and Homer made gay porno films just for the two of them and for their friends to watch. They both had big plans to be stars in the legitimate film industry but all that happened was Frank got screwed out of a fortune producing shit films. He said it was a good thing his trust fund only pays him quarterly or he'd have lost everything. Homer used to be a big gay porn actor back in the day and when the two of them got together, voila, you've got two happy queens. Then he offered to let me square the four thousand with him if I'd do two pornos for him. I swallowed hard and did it because I had no choice. I've never looked back."

"And you couldn't convince them to do some straight porn?''

"Are you fucking kidding? The mere sight of a pussy's enough to send them into shock. I guess if you've spent your life wanting to be a woman you just can't stand to look at what you ain't got."

"Maybe if they tried it they'd find out they liked it."

He snorted. "I doubt it. They'd probably go catatonic. When I got arrested I knew it was only a matter of time before I'd be in jail again. I was desperate, about to lose my house, and so I called Frank. Frank's really a sweet guy with a big heart. Homer...hmmm...well I wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw him. He's a hustler. Frank's become a good friend, though. He's probably the most loyal friend I've ever had. He jokes about being an old queen who's bought himself a son. I used to freak out around effeminate guys but I really don't give a shit anymore. Those two threw me at first but I got over it. To each his own. Whatever makes you happy."

"So do you still fuck 'em?"

"Huh?"

I looked at him like he was still teasing me and he smiled.

"Oh, you mean Frank and Homer? No. That ended about as fast as it started. A few days after I'd fucked them Homer showed up at my house with flowers and candy. My daughter answered the door and I just about shit. I stepped out of the front door and thanked him for delivering the flowers and told him they were from my girlfriend. I said it as loud as I could for my kids and then I pushed him down the driveway and told him I'd kill him if he didn't leave or if he ever came back."

"And you still do movies for them?"

He laughed. "Oh, yeah; I called Frank and told him he'd better stop Glenn Close from going all 'Fatal Attraction' on me or I'd kill his bunny rabbit. Frank had a shit fit and threw Homer out of the house for about a week until they kissed and made up. Homer hasn't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. He obviously decided it's a lot smarter to live with a millionaire queen than to lust after a straight guy with a big dick he's never going to get to touch again."

I whistled in admiration. "Man, you've had quite a life. Still I'm surprised Frank didn't throw Homer over for you."

"He's got better sense," Jamie snorted.

"And yet they still like to see you fucking in their porn movies. If he's so crazy about Homer it's a wonder that he'd let him near you again."

Jamie chuckled. "You know, I think Frank's got a real nasty bitch streak in him that shows itself every once and awhile. It's like he punishing him, making him watch me fuck some other guy. It's okay for them to jack off watching me fuck but I think he'd cut Homer's dick off if he tried to touch me."

"How many movies have you done?"

"Today was the ninth. I'm not apologizing for it. I was so shell shocked by the first one that it would have put me on a psychiatrist's couch if I'd had the goddamn money to pay for it."

"So you're telling me you're psychologically damaged?" I smiled. "Look Jamie, I know this is going to sound totally crazy to you but you're right about the connection back there. The thing is you see, I think I may have been more affected than you think. I don't want to go all Glenn Close on you but I think I could. Maybe you don't need me as a roommate."

He grinned at me and I blushed again. He gripped my hand so I couldn't pull away, leaned across the table, and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm not making fun of you, Brad, not teasing. I'm thrilled. Couldn't you tell when it all changed in that bed between us? When we were no longer fucking for Frankie and Homer? We were making love to each other? I could. I saw it in your eyes when I entered you, when you looked at me like you were in love. You looked so innocent, so trusting, and yet like a fucking sex god. I knew I had you and I also knew I wanted you. We could have more together, you know; we really like each other."

"What about before? The guys in your other movies. Was there no connection with them?"

He snorted. "The other guys I've fucked in the movies were screwballs, whores, nut cases that Frank got the hots for and wanted to watch them get their ass fucked. The first guy was the absolute worst. He was my first time fucking a man and he was a screaming drama queen, thought we were doing porno Shakespeare or something. He was more concerned about his lighting angles and the script than he was about the sex. We hated each other on sight."

"That must have been interesting," I laughed. "Frank's idea of a script is 'unnhh, unnhh, oh, my god, fuck me, fuck me, do it harder, you big SEAL!"

The two middle aged bitches next to us looked like they were strangling on their quarter pounders.

Jamie burst into giggles. "The sixth film, the guy I was fucking kept farting. The first time he did it Frank looked like he'd swallowed a lemon. The guy, his name was Lorenzo, thought it was sexy or something."

I must have looked skeptical, questioning because he put his hand on his heart and grinned that devilish smile.

"I swear to God, Brad. You know there's a weirdo fetish where people eat other people's farts, all kinds of totally fucked up stuff. Sometimes they even eat their shit."

I know my eyes bulged a bit and I must have looked like a total innocent hayseed from Kansas because Jamie roared with laughter at my naiveté.

"They do, I swear. You wouldn't' believe some of the crazy stuff people are into. Anyway, let me tell you Frankie and Homer are not into fetish shit. They don't go for any of the weird stuff and if they're filming someone who goes loco they stop the camera and throw him out. No they just like plain old sex and plenty of it."

I snickered. "My parents would think what we've just done is a fetish, that it's sick. I'm telling you, if they ever found out I did some homo stuff they'd disown me. They don't believe in it, think queers are mentally off. It's not a religious thing really, it's just they can't get their heads around it. They think homosexuals are off in the head. If I ate somebody's farts Dad would probably have to put Mom in a psych ward. I've never even heard my Mom fart, my Dad either. We don't talk about that kind of thing, let alone fart in front of someone. It would sort of like picking your nose in front of others, only worse."

Jamie nodded his head. "My parents would have disowned me, too, but they're both dead now and it doesn't matter to me about anyone else." He shrugged his shoulders. "If my kids see them later so be it. They know I go with men now, that I'm through with women. Sherrie made sure of that, the cunt. She even tried to use it to keep me from seeing my kids but it didn't work. Frank saw to that. He hates women and can't stand the thought of Sherrie keeping my kids from me. His lawyers swing a lot of weight in this town and I owe Frank a lot. I tease him, make him pay me good money so he can jack off to watch me fuck, but he doesn't mind that part."

"What's with Homer? He and Frank seem as different as chalk and cheese."

"Not really. It seems like it on the surface but those two have been together for over thirty years now. They like to make the movies for their own enjoyment. They're both failed actors, directors, whatever. They never made it in the real movies and they got this idea to make porno movies. It's like in their mind they're creating some kind of art. The thing is, though, they only make the movies for their own video library. They don't sell them or use them to make money so it's doubtful anyone will ever see them."

"Really? That's a relief."

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.

"So how is it those two can haul all that equipment into that motel and not arouse suspicion, Jamie? Man, they gotta take all that shit by the pool. It must be busy all the time."

He smiled. "It's supposed to be a big secret but I knew it from the start because I did some construction work there. Frank owns the motel and room sixteen is like his private room. No one ever uses it but him and Homer for their movies."

"What about the maids, the manager? Don't they wonder?"

"They're all a bunch of illegal aliens that worship Frank because he doesn't turn 'em in. Hell, he even helps them get citizenship, does all kinds of shit for them. They'd probably kill for him. Except for room sixteen the place runs like a nice family beach motel."

We'd both finished our milkshakes and Jamie was watching me.

"You're hungry, Brad. I can see it. You've been eyeing every Big Mac and Quarter Pounder that's come past us."

I nodded and he patted my arm.

"Stay right here. What do you want?"

I smiled. "One of everything?"

He laughed and walked to the counter. When he came back to the table a few minutes later his tray was piled with hamburgers and fries, chicken nuggets, pie, probably two of everything on the menu.

"Eat up," he grinned. "I'm a little hungry, too, so I'll have a chicken sandwich if you can spare it."

"Thanks, Jamie. I really appreciate this. It's been awhile since I met someone here that I didn't feel like was trying to fleece me of everything I've got."

"Well, you're in good hands. That's me, Sir Galahad to the rescue. Now about your money, you got a bank, Brad?"

I nodded, my mouth stuffed with fries.

"Is it near here?"

"Yeah," I choked out.

"How about I take you by there and you deposit your money? Then I'm gonna go by my bank and do the same. It's not wise to be toting around a lot of cash in this town."

"That'd be great, Jamie. Thanks."

He smiled at me, what seemed to me to be a caring smile. He seemed almost tender and protective toward me, my big tough guy.

"Jamie? Is that your real name? Jamie?"

He rolled his eyes and groaned.

"I go by Jamie but my name's really James, James Bond."

I looked at him like he was lying, like I didn't believe him and he grinned.

"Yep, that's me, Jamie Bond. My mother thought it was just too cute for words. She named me after her father, he was a James, too, and since my father's last name was Bond, I got to deal with all the jokes my whole life. You know, have I seen M lately? What's my mission? A fun bunch of shit, trust me. Of course I could have had it much worse. Some of the names on kids are unbelievable."

"I don't know, I guess I just figured it was a fake name because Frank told me to use a fake name."

Jamie nodded. "Yeah, Frank's really protective that way, tries to look out for his 'stars'. No, I didn't even think of using another name, stupid me. Frank already knew me from some work I had done on his house. Plus, I was in jail with Homer when Frank bailed us both out. Homer had gotten arrested for sucking dick in a public bathroom and he's lucky Frank didn't just ditch him. But they already knew my name and I guess they just think about it either since their movies are all private."

"Wait. They told me their names weren't really Frank and Homer."

He grinned. "They lied. Frank said they tried to use phony names when they first started but neither one of them could keep from slipping up and using their real names so they just gave it up. They're really Frank and Homer. They pay good, outrageously good, and they only do a movie every two or three months, so they kind of stay off the radar of their competition and the police. That and none of their movies have ever been sold. People who know about them just look on them as a couple of old queens getting their jollies. No one's ever gotten hurt, there are absolutely no drugs or weird shit, so the cops that do know just look the other way. They've got too much real crime to investigate without messing with him and a horde of Jew lawyers."

He must've seen the question in my eyes because he laughed.

"Yeah, they're both Jewish. Man, where are you from, Brad? You act like you've never seen a Jew. This is L.A., dude. The only place on earth you'll find more Jews is New York City and Israel. I'm a Jew. My mother was Jewish and my father was Episcopalian. He never went in a church in his life except when he was baptized and when he was buried. Mom was more religious than Dad, we went to temple sometimes but I haven't been since I left home."

I looked at him and smiled. There was so much more to him than I knew. I mean, how much could I know about him really? It's not like licking his asshole gave me insight into his religion.

"My name's not Brad. It's David and I come from Hazlehurst, Mississippi. I've only visited once since I left and I wish I never had to go back. I had such dreams. I was going to be a big star and everyone else thought so, too. It's even in my high school yearbook; the next Elvis Presley."

He laughed. "David, huh? Well, it'll take me some getting used to. After all, the best sex I've ever had came from a guy named Brad. Maybe David can improve on his record, burn his name into my memory."

His eyes were dancing again and he licked his lips with his tongue in what could only be described as bordering on the obscene.

"Maybe David can if you let him. I can promise you David's got a lot more going for him than Brad."

He sort of air kissed me from across the table and I heard a hiss from the table next to ours. I looked over to see two middle aged women looking at us scornfully.

"Why don't you two fags get a room somewhere? We've had just about enough of your queer talk!"

Jamie laughed at them.

"Umm, that would be a no. In fact I just might fuck him right here on this table."

He took my hand and kissed it, sucking on my fingers while the two of them spluttered.

"Let's go," he said.

We stood up and as I turned to go he pulled me to him. We were right in front of the two women as he took me in his arms and kissed me. I felt his hand groping my crotch. I was out of breath when he stopped. We put what was left of the food in the bags to take with us.

"Now, let's go," he grinned.

You could have heard a pin drop in McDonald's as everyone watched us. In something of a daze, I let Jamie lead me outside.

"Can you believe that?"

He just grinned. "Don't worry about it. So what about moving in with me?"

"Yeah. About moving in with you Jamie, I've got no money other than what I've made today. I've only got a couple of changes of clothes and a few other things in the bus station locker. I really like you but you and I both know the three thousand won't last long and I don't want to be your personal charity case. You've got kids to think of."